Dominance - #11: Guilt
Disclaimer: Digimon, Ken Ichijouji and Daisuke Motomiya aren't mine (**sniffs sadly**) and neither is anyone else. Nothing's mine except the fic and everything's borrowed and no profit's been made. So don't sue.
When Daisuke actually woke, the first thing he saw was the sky outside the window. It was that indescribable colour of blue that came for a few seconds before dawn, a strange mixture of day and twilight. He watched it for a few moments, calm and relaxed, before deciding to go back to sleep. Pulling the covers back around him he snuggled down again, to the warm body beside him ...
Warm body?
His eyes snapped open. Hold everything! Dumbfounded, he stared at the sleeping form of Ken Ichijouji that was beside him. In the pale early morning light his face was calm and serene, devoid of any emotion or thought. Despite his feelings of terror, Daisuke couldn't help but realise how beautiful he was. His dark blue hair flopped carelessly into his closed eyes and the Digidestined couldn't help but brush it back gently.
Ken's eyes immediately opened.
This, of course, gave Daisuke the shock of his life, nearly causing him to actually fall out of the bed. He quickly moved away from Ken, watching him uncertainly. This was just great. While nothing had actually happened the previous night (apart from the usual torture he had come to expect from Ken), this did not look good. To anyone else it appeared they had done plenty ... He felt himself swallow slightly as Ken leisurely pulled himself up to a sitting position. As well as the fact it was probably likely any respect Ken had for him was completely gone now. He hated life right about now.
Well if his 'answer' to Ken's question the night before hadn't been enough, what he had agreed to do after it was enough. He had chosen Ken, at least in one respect. But if he'd chosen him for this, then it was pretty safe to say he was with Ken for a long time to come. Now the only hard bit was trying to tell the others that ... before they tried to kill him - or worse.
"Hello Dai-san," Ken greeted, absently running his fingers through his sleep-mussed hair, yawning slightly. "Sleep well?"
Sleep well? What was he on about? Daisuke felt himself arch an eyebrow, as he stared openly at Ken. Eventually finding his voice, he answered, "Um, all right."
Ken flung a dazzling smile at him, that promptly caused his insides to melt. "I'm glad. Don't tell me you're going to get up now?"
"Uh ..."
Ken blinked slightly, before a mischievous smile curled his lips. Acting swiftly, he quickly planted both hands on Daisuke's chest and kissed him slowly, driving Daisuke mad obviously. "But you can't leave now Daisuke," he whispered into his ear. "The fun's just beginning." At Daisuke's wide-eyed look, he chuckled slightly. "Remember my Daisuke, despite how nice I may be to you, you are still mine. Whatever I say goes." He smiled again. "Now, what were you saying?"
Daisuke swallowed again, quickly making a decision. "I'm staying." He couldn't help but think how utterly ... delicious of all things, Ken looked. Deciding he might as well prove Ken wasn't the complete dominant one in this relationship (what sort of relationship it actually was he still had to figure out), he quickly grabbed the boy and flung him back onto the bed. Ken hadn't even time to react, instead just staring at Daisuke. Well, I'll be damned.
Smiling down at him, Daisuke leaned down and brushed Ken's lips with his own, before deciding to kiss his ear gently. Ken only waited, closing his eyes as indescribable emotions coursed through him. It had taken him longer than he had anticipated, but he had Daisuke. That was all that mattered. He tensed and gasped as Daisuke captured his lips again, deepening the kiss alarmingly. Within moments Ken had his hands tangled in Daisuke's spiky hair, trying to control himself - and not having much luck. Elegance had long ago gone out the window.
"Dammit Daisuke," he hissed, when they broke apart for air. "Why didn't you tell me you could do this, instead of making me do all the work?"
Daisuke smiled at him again. "You're not the only one who keeps secrets Kaiser."
Ken did the only thing he could do in a situation like this. He laughed.
He had expected different things to happen when he finally got Daisuke. None of them had been like this. Of course, he also hadn't known Daisuke could kiss like that. Hell, what had he got himself into? But he figured he could learn to like it. Not that it'd be hard or anything. He smiled, curling up beside Daisuke, as they both lapsed into silence, just enjoying the fact the other was there. Of course, now that he had Daisuke firmly on his side, there was the alarming realisation that he couldn't keep his destiny away for much longer. Daisuke would have to face it eventually and there would be nothing he could do. All he could hope for was that his love would be strong enough.
And strength is not something he lacks, Ken thought, as he looked up from his position in Daisuke's arms to see him dozing, eyelashes flickering slightly. But what he's going to experience ... even I fear it. I hope he has what it takes. I would hate to lose him so soon.
Still smiling, he soon fell asleep again. But even in sleep, there was still a tinge of worry on his face.
The Digidestined had expected a lot to happen when they had been captured by the Kaiser. They had expected to have their digimon taken away from them, to be starved and most likely, to be tortured. But now they discovered it was all very anticlimax. To be blunt, nothing had happened. They had been faced by no one (which of course meant they had got nothing to eat, but that was beside the point, wasn't it?) and Ken hadn't even spared them a glance. It didn't even occur to them, for some strange reason, that Daisuke would be there.
That is, until he came into them.
Hikari had been brought in earlier that morning and the other three knew something was very wrong, judging by her expression. Her eyes were dark and her lips were drawn into a thin line. But she refused to say what was wrong, instead slipping into grim silences, not noticing the concerned glances the other three passed to each other.
It was around three hours later, that they heard the door bolt slid open. All four humans and digimon raised their heads, expecting no doubt, to see the Kaiser come before them, a cruel smirk decorating his pale face. Instead a slightly smaller figure came in slowly, almost hesitantly to them. It was Daisuke.
Miyako gasped, completely stunned. Iori raised an eyebrow, keeping control of his emotions as usual, while Takeru frowned. Daisuke looked relaxed and strangely happy. No chains were attacked to his arms or legs, and the guards were even respectful to him. What was going on?
Only Hikari said nothing or showed no emotion.
"Hi guys," Daisuke said softly, his eyes full of doubt. "I'd ask you how you were, but I think I can guess." He quickly glanced down at Veemon, who was beside him, a silent question passing between them. Veemon only shrugged, causing Daisuke to sigh.
"You were here?!" Miyako cried. "All the time you were here? Why didn't you try and contact us or anything?!" She looked about ready to spit fire or something, which was highly unsurprising.
Daiuske gave her a dry look. "Well being knocked out kind of made it difficult Miyako." As well as the fact being saved wasn't exactly on my agenda ... No need to think about that yet. Not that he was looking forward to it or anything. This was going to be hard.
"Are you all right?" Takeru asked gently, saying something before Miyako could carry on with her unintended accusations. "Ken hasn't hurt you or anything has he?" He felt faint relief when Daisuke shook his head, but he couldn't let go of the suspicion something was very wrong here. If their leader had been all right, why hadn't he tried to escape? "Did you try to escape or anything?"
Again Daisuke shook his head, mumbling, "No, I didn't." But this time they all noticed he looked vaguely uncomfortable. What was going on?
"Why not? It's not like you to act this way," Iori spoke at last. He had been silent until now, carefully watching the exchanges. He could tell something was bothering both Daisuke and Hikari, something they either couldn't tell or wouldn't. But what was it?
Daiuske refused to answer, purposely looking away. Iori frowned.
"Perhaps he didn't want to escape." Instantly all four turned to look at Hikari. She was sitting on the floor, her hands resting lightly on her drawn up legs. Her voice was soft, with a slightly hard edge on it. But it was her eyes that startled them the most, and put the first tinges of fear into Daisuke. They were sad and unforgiving. What did she know? But she said no more, obviously deciding to let their leader get himself out of this one.
"What does she mean Daisuke?" Miyako wanted to know, the first traces of suspicion beginning to show on her face.
"Well ... uh ..." Daisuke gulped, starting to edge away slightly, nervousness and fear evident on his face.
"Why don't you tell them what you told me Daisuke?" Hikari enquired, the hardness in her voice becoming louder. Betrayal was unmistakable in her tone.
"Tell us what?" Takeru asked. What in the Digiworld was going on?
Daisuke stared at him for a long time, brown eyes large and unsure. Takeru stared back. The long time rivals had never admitted to having a grim respect for the other, but in that one moment that respect showed. In the end it was Daisuke who broke it first. Stepping back, he sighed in defeat. "Fine I'll tell you ..."
Ken's eyes were burning with rage behind their shades. The blue orbs searching desperately in the darkness, he snapped, "I tell you, he's not yet ready!"
Why not? The mind voice shook with an unmistakable anger and Ken felt himself shiver at the edge in that voice. You told me you had turned him to our side. He should then be ready!
"I tell you, he's not! Some part of him still belongs to the Digidestined. I need one more hour at least!" Ken was playing a desperate gamble and he knew it. But Daisuke was also still part Digidestined and the final part had to be played. His ties with his friends had to be fully severed. One hidden link with them might destroy everything.
There was silence and Ken was afraid for a moment that the immortal being was planning to kill him. Then his next words sent raw relief coursing through him. You may have the extra time. But at sundown - he is mine until he survives.
Ken immediately dropped to his knees, bowing as low as he dared. He was hardly able to think, he was so relieved. "Thank you Great One. I will send Daisuke to you at sundown without fail." In his mind he added, Daisuke is mine now, whether he truly knows it or not. I can't fail now, not when I'm so close. For your own sake Daisuke - as well as mine.
He was not looking forward to this.
But he had no choice.
It was either awaken Daisuke's powers ... or ...
He didn't want to go into what the 'or' meant.
I think you can guess.
Daisuke had known his friends wouldn't have been happy when he told them what he had told Hikari the night before. He had already expected what their reactions would be. But deciding them in your mind and actually hearing them were too very different things. It didn't make the guilt he felt any better, or any easier to bear. He looked away from their disbelieving, accusing faces and felt the guilt well up inside him, worse than ever.
Miyako was the first to speak. She was shaking, her face paled dramatically from anger. Her eyes sparked with a indescribable rage, a rage she only barely understood. "I can't believe you!" she hissed. "How could you, you're supposed to be our leader!" Her shrill voice rose a least an octave, fury evident in it. "Murderous traitor!"
That caused Daisuke to look up. "Murderous? But I haven't killed anyone."
"Not yet." Miyako's face was more grim now than angry, faint disappointment in her eyes. "By letting Ken control you, you could be letting hundreds of innocent digimon die because you didn't protect them or try to help them. But - but what I don't understand is ... is why? I thought you were stronger than that."
"Miyako," Daisuke said flatly. "You know as well as I do how Ken feels about fair play. If I hadn't done as I had promised I would, he would have killed me - or worse. Even being his slave has to be better than dying, right?"
"I wouldn't be so sure," Takeru murmured, looking and feeling so disappointed. While he and Daisuke might have had some bad times over Hikari and other things, the one thing he had been sure of was that the other boy would always be there, goofing around and always trying to see the good side of things, even when the worst was there. He had hoped when Hikari had eventually chosen him, that he and Daisuke might have been able to become friends even. But now he was faced with the possibility of battling against the other boy and it didn't amuse him. How hard could it be to chose between them and Ken?
Daisuke turned to him, a resigned light in his eyes. "Trust me, anything's better than dying. In my opinion at least."
"But how hard could it be to choose between us and the Kaiser?" Iori wanted to know, looking at the boy. Out of all of them, he had been the one who had teased the boy the less, and somehow, perhaps because of this, he felt the most betrayed. "It wouldn't be a very hard choice would it? What's keeping you to him? Is it blackmail?"
At this, Daisuke turned an interesting shade of scarlet and Veemon jumped, looking nervous all of a sudden. "I - um .. well ..." he stammered, beginning to tremble all of a sudden. The Digidestined could only stare, astonished at this, wondering what on earth was going on. Only Hikari knew, her expression flat and hardened.
They all jumped when they heard a chuckle from the doorway. The moment they all turned to look, butterflies began to do cartwheels in Daisuke's stomach, while hate blossomed in the other four pairs of eyes, as Ken himself came through the doorway, into the dungeon.
He mouthed to Daisuke as their eyes met: 'Showtime'. Daisuke was left wondering what on earth he was on about.
"You needn't tell them what keeps you to me Daisuke," Ken purred as he faced the Digidestined, who glared up at them. Blatant relief showed on Daisuke's face, as he thought he was momentarily out of the woods, so to speak. "You can give them a demonstration instead."
"What?" Takeru asked, staring at Daisuke in confusion. The former leader of the Digidestined had gone extremely pale, as if he were alarmingly ill, his eyes widening as Ken stepped up behind him. Veemon, sensing what was about to come, quickly backed away, to stand near Patamon. The digimon, as well as their humans, were completely at a loss.
Takeru began to get it when Ken's hands gently turned Daisuke around to face him, before slipping around his waist. Hikari began to fully realise how serious it was when a dangerous smile curled on Ken's lips, as he leaned in and gently kissed Daisuke. Miyako began to feel pain spread through her when the kiss deepened and Ken pressed Daisuke to him. Iori felt shock course through him when Daisuke began to respond. The digimon couldn't even voice any response, their jaws dropping open.
"Oh hell," Takeru whispered, his eyes widening. "They're both gay?" As much as he expected, this hadn't exactly been on the cards.
"Yes," Hikari answered softly. "And Daisuke's considering staying with Ken. That's what he wants."
Takeru turned to her, a shocked expression on his face. "No. No!" He began to shake his head hard, unable to believe Daisuke would betray him - them all - like this. Daisuke would never willingly do this. But he couldn't ignore what he was seeing. Daisuke had - had feelings for Ken. It was pretty safe to say Ken himself had feelings towards Daisuke at least, considering how unwillingly he wanted to let Daisuke go.
Things were ... well, he couldn't exactly think of a word to describe them. 'Bad' didn't seem strong enough. It was too early to say 'hopeless'.
They weren't in their favour anyway.