Disclaimer: Digimon, Ken Ichijouji and Daisuke Motomiya aren't mine (**sniffs sadly**) and neither is anyone else. Nothing's mine except the fic and everything's borrowed and no profit's been made. So don't sue.
I did it, Daisuke thought faintly, pacing up and down in his room. I chose Ken at last and abandoned my friends. That's what I did, isn't it? I turned away from my destiny as a Chosen child. I don't feel any different - just empty. I certainly don't feel evil or anything. He sighed, racking his hands frantically through his hair. They rested on his goggles, still perched proudly on his head. He hesitated, hands still lying gently on the things. Then, very slowly, he pulled them off and looked at them in his hands. They were the final link, the last memory of his old life. But was he strong enough to discard them? They had been the sign of his leadership, and besides, they had belonged to Taichi. He found he couldn't look away, his eyes fixed on the small bundle in his hands.
He wasn't exactly the leader anymore though, was he? He didn't deserve these anymore. He wasn't a Digidestined anymore, and that meant he wasn't the leader anymore either.
To his surprise, he felt tears well up in his eyes. What were Taichi and the other Old Digidestined going to think when they heard he had left the Digidestined for Ken? They weren't going to be happy, that was for sure. They'd probably feel angry and betrayed. He'd still have to face them in the real world, everyday. He swallowed, eyes widening at the task. How was he going to do that? It was extremely unlikely the others would still be his friends in the real world. How was he going to be able to treat them normally, like nothing important had happened. That he hadn't just made the biggest decision of his life?
He sighed. This was going to be a lot harder than he'd thought. Maybe he should just defy Ken and go back to the others. It would certainly help things a lot. Although it might mean he'd be tortured a lot by Ken. And being tortured by Ken himself was a rare honour. It wasn't an honour he wanted to experience.
He looked up as Ken entered the room, a bundle of dark clothing in his arms. I'm making a mistake ... or am I? He remembered something he had heard a long time ago, years ago in fact. "When in doubt, always follow your heart. Even if it's not the right decision, at least you'll make yourself happy." He knew well his heart was with Ken, whether the others liked it or not. Maybe it was time to follow his heart this once.
He stiffened as Ken's gaze landed on the goggles still in his hands. "Are you going to discard those?" he asked, his voice smooth and soft. His most dangerous voice, a lot more dangerous than his rages.
"I don't know," he answered, his tone just as soft. "Part of me wants to keep them, as a reminder at least, but I'm not sure that's a good thing."
"Perhaps not," Ken said tactfully. "You could always give them back to Hikari and she could pass them onto her brother. It would prove you were gone from the Digidestined better than any words you could say."
Daisuke still stared down at the goggles, an item he had treasured and worn with pride. If he did this, he was gone once and for all. There would be no turning back then. He bit his lip absently, not noticing that both Ken and Veemon were watching him intently, waiting to see what he would do.
Sighing, Daisuke got up and placed them on the nearest table. "I'll give them to her when they leave I guess."
Veemon looked suddenly unsure, as a smile curled Ken's lips. "Very good Daisuke, I approve. Here, I want you to put these on." He handed the bundle of clothing to Daisuke quickly and smiled inwardly as Daisuke visibly balked.
"Leather?!" he squeaked, staring down at the bundle in complete, utter shock. "How am I supposed to put that on anyway?!" His jaw dropping, he looked up at Ken, who was openly grinning. "You are such a pervert!"
"But you still love me," the Kaiser replied, still grinning. Daisuke only arched an eyebrow. Ken smiled. He loved it when Daisuke did that, it was so adorable!
"Seriously though, how am I supposed to put these on?" Daisuke asked, peering at the clothing doubtfully.
"Well you could always wear the PVC ..." Ken trailed off laughing, as Daisuke choked and nearly dropped the clothing. "Relax, I was joking. Besides PVC isn't that comfortable anyway." Daisuke could only stare at him, his mouth opening and closing and yet no sound came out.
Shaking his head in amusement, Ken turned and pulled open the door. "Call me when you're ready," he said, before shutting the door.
Veemon looked at the pile of clothing Daisuke placed gently on the bed in interest. "They're different," he remarked at last, after giving them a quick run over. "They're different to what you usually wear as well."
"There's a reason for that," Daisuke muttered, as he pulled off his jacket grimly. "Usually I'd never be caught dead in leather."
Veemon's eyes twinkled. "But Ken's different of course?"
"Oh shut up."
Once he had pulled on the outfit and the boots that had come with it, he hesitantly walked over to the mirror. For one moment, he found he couldn't look and squeezed his eyes shut. In fact it was Veemon's soft, "Whoa", that convinced him to finally look. Opening his eyes, he could only stare for a moment, his jaw dropping open.
It wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. The soft leather top felt supple to the touch and fitted him perfectly - naturally of course. The collar was split, the ends flaring out to give a slightly unusual look. The cuffs were also split, to show the insides of his wrists. The pants clung like a second skin and actually weren't as uncomfortable as he had imagined them to be. The boots were fur lined and damn, were they comfortable! A slim jacket was on the bed, but it wasn't needed, at least not yet. The outfit was completed by leather gloves.
Daisuke was finally only able to utter a small squeak, his eyes widened alarmingly. "Hell," he whispered. "I actually look good in this." He hadn't look good in anything before - or at least that was what Jun had constantly told him for years. Daisuke couldn't help but smile at the image he got if she saw him now! He couldn't help but stare at himself some more, as the door opened. Hell, he was being self-absorbed for once, he deserved it! Ken had finally become too impatient. He waited for him to say something and when he didn't, he turned to see Ken blatantly staring at him, eyes wide behind their shades, his mouth slightly open.
"Um, like it?" Daisuke asked finally, feeling himself blush just slightly. He was entitled to some modesty here!
"Hell yeah," Ken managed to say eventually. My God, if I'd known Daisuke looked that good in leather I'd have made him wear it the first night he came! Daisuke grinned slightly, as for the first time, he saw Ken lose his composure completely.
He could learn to like this.
Hikari felt her eyes widen, as she gasped when she caught sight of Daisuke coming towards them. "Oh my God!" she hissed, unable to believe what she was seeing. This was unbelievable! Gatomon and Patamon only stared in disbelief.
"I never knew Daisuke could look so good in anything!" Gatomon quipped, looking astonished.
"Neither could I," Hikari returned quietly.
Miyako turned and nearly fell in shock. "Is Daisuke wearing leather?!" she choked. "How ... my God is right!" Takeru and Iori were only able to stare.
Daisuke stopped in front of them, beet red from embarrassment. Wearing it in front of Ken was one thing, wearing it in front of them was quite another. It had only been Veemon's encouragement that had enabled him to step out in the outfit. Nothing Ken had said had helped this time. "Hi guys," he muttered softly, staring down at the ground.
Takeru was the first to approach. "I guess this means you've made your decision then?" he asked quietly, realising this was it. This was really it. After they left finally, things would never be the same. Daisuke nodded silently. "I don't know whether to be sorry or happy for you."
Daisuke grinned crookedly at him. "How 'bout you be what you always are? Think I'm an idiot?"
"You're not wrong there," Takeru agreed, and he and Daisuke smiled. "I'm going to miss you, you know. I always assumed you'd be there y'know? I was hoping after Hikari ... you know ... that we'd be able to be friends. I guess not huh?" This time he couldn't keep the sadness out of his face or his voice.
"We'd probably would have had the worst friendship ever," Daisuke mumbled, after considering this.
Takeru paused for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah, you're right actually." He squeezed Daisuke's shoulder slightly. "Take care, whatever happens." He squinted at the material he had touched. "Damn, that's real leather!"
"What did you expect?!" Daisuke laughed, as Takeru stepped back, sadness evident on his face. He was replaced by Iori.
The youngest of the Digidestined stared solemnly up at him. "I'm not sure I still understand why you did it, but I'm not going to judge you. I suppose you had your own reasons for it." The corners of his lips quirked up slightly, as he held out his hand.
"Thanks Iori," Daisuke said sincerely, shaking his hand genuinely. It had to have been the nicest thing the other boy had ever said to him.
Miyako didn't bother coming forward, instead just glaring hatefully at him. Daisuke stared silently at her. He had expected this, but still it hurt that she wouldn't forgive him. She broke the stare first, as he sighed and turned to Hikari. He knew this would be the hardest.
She looked up at him, tears filling her gentle eyes. "I still can't believe this is it," she whispered, taking hold of his hand and squeezing it.
"Me either," he replied softly, the full implications of what he was about to do hitting him at last.
"I'm sorry I screamed at you. Being gay isn't something you should be ashamed of. I guess I was just surprised, that's all." She laughed slightly. "I still can't believe it's Ken you like, but I suppose we'll get used to it eventually or something." She smiled up at him, forgiveness clear in her eyes.
"I'm glad," he whispered, smiling back. Then, acting on impulse, he hugged her. She stiffened, startled for a moment, before relaxing and hugging him back.
When they drew apart, a mischievous gleam entered her eyes. "Do you know how good you look in leather?" she asked softly, so only he could hear.
He grinned at her. "Ken's reaction was enough to tell me!" She laughed, genuinely. "Good luck Daisuke, whatever you choose to do. Remember we'll always be glad to have you back." Her eyes trailed to a sullen Miyako. "All of us." The Keeper of Love and Sincerity snorted.
Daisuke looked down, guilt apparent on his face. It was time to sever the last link. "I don't know if I'll ever be back. I might be able to change Ken if I really try. If I can, then you bet I'll be back. So, just in case, take care of these for me." He pressed something into her hands and she felt her breath catch in her throat as she stared down at the object in her hands.
It was her brother's goggles.
"Oh Daisuke," she whispered, "it's really over, isn't it?" He nodded, pain gripping him as tears fell silently down her face.
"I'm so, so sorry," he whispered. She nodded, attempting to stop her tears.
"We forgive you. We're your friends after all."
"Maybe not everyone," he murmured, glancing at Miyako.
"She'll come around. She can't have Love or Sincerity if she doesn't." Attempting a brave smile, she turned and began to walk away. Slowly, the other three began to follow.
They had had to choose between a fight or simply leaving. Daisuke had secretly begged them just to leave, for their own sakes and they had reluctantly agreed. By leaving they had agreed to Ken's flat statements - they were to never try and get Daisuke back or attempt to rescue him. Ever.
They had had no choice but to agree.
Daisuke watched them go, something heavy in his chest. As they finally disappeared from view, his legs trembled and did what they had been threatening to do - they gave out. He clung onto Veemon and began to sob, as he let go of his destiny at last. Veemon tried his best to comfort him, his own eyes threatening to spill over.
Daisuke only dimly felt a hand land softly on his shoulder. Through blurred eyes, he saw Ken crouching beside him, waiting. Without hesitation he flung himself into the Kaiser's arms, sobbing desperately. Ken did the only thing he could do: he held him and waited for the tears to stop.
Finally, they did and were reduced to small sniffs. "Are you all right now?" Ken asked, kissing him gently on the forehead. Daisuke nodded slowly.
"I'll survive."
"Good. Unfortunately ... I have one last favour to ask of you." Ken felt sorrow tug inside him as he saw Daisuke's tearstained face look up at him. His love had been through an emotional upheaval almost as bad as his own when Osamu died. He shouldn't have to do this, not now at least. But he hadn't a say in the matters.
"What?" Daisuke asked shakily, trying to put on a brave face.
"I have something to show you," Ken explained, standing up and pulling Daisuke gently to his feet. "It is a ... test of sorts. If you survive, you will be unbelievably powerful and stronger than you ever imagined." He didn't want to say what would happen if he didn't survive.
However his love wasn't easily fooled. "What if I don't survive?" When Ken refused to answer, his bruised eyes narrowed, hardening. "Tell me."
"I don't know. You said you trusted me," Ken answered. "Do you truly?"
For a moment Daisuke didn't answer, instead thinking hard. Did he trust Ken? He knew he should and perhaps he did. An unbelievable amount of chaos had happened in the last few days, but Ken had never once lied to him. He had kept to his word and had done only what he had said he would. He had never horribly hurt Daisuke, and he said he held feelings for him. Daisuke believed him. "Yes," he answered honestly. "I trust you."
Ken looked down and saw the truth in Daisuke's battered eyes, he truly did trust him. He smiled and kissed Daisuke quickly. "Then you'll trust me again. I can't guarantee what's going to happen. I can't even guarantee you'll survive. But I'll be waiting for you once it's over. Both my heart and I will be waiting."
Fear gripped him as he began to lead Daisuke towards his destiny.