A/N: this is the chap where I left off... just hang on (ideas for chapter 4 would be greatly appreciated!)
Disclaimer: don't own em
--
Episode Three
Obi wan peered about the interior of the cheese shaped ship. Yet again, he had a bad feeling---not that he was going to mention it. It was probably just those extra salty, mega cheddar, super broccoli dip chips he'd eaten for lunch...
Master Qui Gon unbuckled his seat belt and opened the hatch, all the while wondering where the welcoming committee was.
"It's awfully quite out there, master..." Obi wan glanced at Qui Gon, who rolled his eyes and booted the annoying apprentice off the ramp.
"Ow! That's heading straight for the dark side, master," he grumbled, rubbing his backside. "Say, aren't those..."
The master peered into the gloom. "Bad guys? No. I think I'd know, Obi wan. After all, I am--," he struck a dramatic pose, "--a Jedi."
Obi wan blinked. "...Oh. I didn't think of that." He shrugged.
They stood for a moment in uncomfortable silence.
Obi wan glanced down at the floor--and stopped. "Master! Look-a trail of Cheese Whiz!"
Master Qui Gon slapped the apprentice on the back. "Good work, Obi wan! Now... if only we knew what it meant!"
Obi wan nodded, rubbing his back. "Well, master I'm sure you think of something... whether or not its relevant..." he muttered. "But I think its probably a trail to entice us into a sure and deadly trap that will give us the opportunity to show off our Jedi thingie!"
Qui Gon nodded. "I say we follow! --Your sure that's what this is, Obi wan," he lowered his voice.
Obi wan nodded vigorously. "Yes! Master Yoda always-!" Qui Gon grabbed his hand and dragged him off toward the yellow line of sprayable cheese.
* * *
Darth Macaroon sat in his darkened closet, watching the Jedi master and his sidekick walking unknowingly into the best trap the Sith could come up with in five minutes.
But, Darth Macaroon thought, you have to admit... its pretty good for only five. Its brilliant--they'll walk into that room and then...BLAM! They'll never know what hit them. At least I hope so.
He sat back, smiling evilly.
"Don't they know? Cheese Whiz is the bane of all Jedi kind! AHAAAHAAH! None can withstand its tempting cheesiness and survive! The awesome power I hold in my hands is sure to kill them faster than you can say 'three M' fbbble'guck'thbbts in a sock drawer!' AHAAAHAAH!!! Its far too simple!"
Just then, a voice interpreted Darth Macaroon's mirth. "Yes, it really was."
Darth Macaroon spun around to see Master Qui Gon standing in the doorway along with his apprentice Obi wan.
" I thought we were going to have to execute a couple ugly henchmen and a few thousand battle droids! Whatever happened to showing off our superior Jedi thingie?!" Qui Gon grumped.
Darth Macaroon blinked. " 'Jedi thingie'??"
Obi wan stepped forward, looking indignant. "Yeah! Our 'thingie'!"
"I know nothing of your 'thingie' you preposterous Jedi! Whoever came up with that?!" Darth Macaroon glowered at them.
"Whatever," Obi wan threw up his hands. "We know what your up to, evil Sith! And it won't work!"
Qui Gon turned to his apprentice. "We do?"
Obi wan blinked. "...You don't? I thought you knew!"
"Oh, right! I'm the master-like I know everything! Hah! Blame it all on me!"
Darth Macaroon stood gaping at the two squabbling Jedi. It must be the Cheese Whiz's strange powers...
He cleared his throat. "...Hello! Excuse me! ..."
The Jedi let go of each other, looking rather embarrassed.
"Ahh...Now where was I..." Darth Macaroon looked lost for a moment. "...Oh, right-I am the evil Sith lord. So I'm going to kill you and everything like that. Same old, same old. But before I do, we all might as well get to know each other."
Master Qui Gon blinked. "Uh...Right. I'm Master Jedi Qui Gon Something-err-rather and this is my trusty sidekick, apprentice extraordinaire, Obi wan What's-his-bucket."
"Ahh," Darth Macaroon nodded wisely. "I see. You come from the galaxy of Little Intelligence. I was there once, when I was a mere grub, err, boy."
They all shook hands and Darth Macaroon offered them chairs.
"No, thanks," Qui Gon declined. "We're a little short on time and we must be off."
"Drat!" Darth Macaroon looked disappointed. "Well, then...without further ado..."
The two Jedi nodded and flourished their light sabers. Obi wan thumbed the little switch that said 'on' and his light saber blade sprang forth.
Qui Gon produced his with a flourish, looking very impressive and threatening, yes indeedy! But when he tried to turn it on, nothing happened.
"Oh, bugger!" The switch made little 'click, click' noises, but nothing materialized out of the saber's business end. Master Qui Gon shook it, peered into the end, and slapped it a couple of times.
"What?!! How can I kill you if you don't put up a fight? Well, that does it! Ooh!" Darth Macaroon threw down his can of Cheese Whiz, hitting his own foot. He hopped around, swearing profusely. "And now my foot's out of commission! Well, we'll have to postpone!"
The Jedi let their light sabers droop. "...All right. Another time then?"
"Yes. Another time, then." Darth Macaroon waved, smiling, at them as they let themselves out the door. "Bye!"
A moment later they poked their heads back in. "By the way--what's the Cheese Whiz for??"
Darth Macaroon frowned for a moment. "--It's the bane of all Jedi..."
Obi wan picked up the can, which had rolled away forgotten after it had been dropped.
"Actually, sir, it says right here 'does not tempt Jedi, mice or other small rodents, contrary to popular belief.' And then it says 'if you thought so, all the company can say in light of your disillusion is...AHAAAAHAAAH! Sucker! Thank you.' "
Darth Macaroon looked visibly deflated. "Egads! But everybody knows... You know, this is the third time I find that my master's tutoring has managed to make a galumphing Gick'merght'fffbt! out of my sorry red and black hide!"
The Jedi exchanged puzzled looks. "Gee, that's too bad...Well, we'll just be off, then. Bye."
"Oh, goodbye...Don't forget, okay? Drop in again some time!" Darth Macaroon waved as the Jedi disappeared.
He stalked over to a chair and groped around behind the spiked cushions. Looking around for a moment, he pulled out a small shoe.
"He did it again!" Darth Macaroon addressed the shoe. "Sole...what do you say---we do?" he held the shoe up to his ear for a moment and listened. "Oh! That's a very good idea, Sole! What would I do without you?... Yes, I know...you're my sole. But still... I wish that I didn't have to--no offense--ask a shoe that has more intelligence...Hah! That's a good one! 'You have the intelligence of a zucchini ' AHAAAHAAH! Oh, 'a very small zucchini' HAAAHAAAHAAAH! That's soooo funny!!"
He giggled for a minute or two, slowly dissolving into hiccups. The shoe sighed and shook its head.
A/N: yeppers, I am thinking of chap 4 as you read this... any ideas?? I've got writer's block :P
Disclaimer: don't own em
--
Episode Three
Obi wan peered about the interior of the cheese shaped ship. Yet again, he had a bad feeling---not that he was going to mention it. It was probably just those extra salty, mega cheddar, super broccoli dip chips he'd eaten for lunch...
Master Qui Gon unbuckled his seat belt and opened the hatch, all the while wondering where the welcoming committee was.
"It's awfully quite out there, master..." Obi wan glanced at Qui Gon, who rolled his eyes and booted the annoying apprentice off the ramp.
"Ow! That's heading straight for the dark side, master," he grumbled, rubbing his backside. "Say, aren't those..."
The master peered into the gloom. "Bad guys? No. I think I'd know, Obi wan. After all, I am--," he struck a dramatic pose, "--a Jedi."
Obi wan blinked. "...Oh. I didn't think of that." He shrugged.
They stood for a moment in uncomfortable silence.
Obi wan glanced down at the floor--and stopped. "Master! Look-a trail of Cheese Whiz!"
Master Qui Gon slapped the apprentice on the back. "Good work, Obi wan! Now... if only we knew what it meant!"
Obi wan nodded, rubbing his back. "Well, master I'm sure you think of something... whether or not its relevant..." he muttered. "But I think its probably a trail to entice us into a sure and deadly trap that will give us the opportunity to show off our Jedi thingie!"
Qui Gon nodded. "I say we follow! --Your sure that's what this is, Obi wan," he lowered his voice.
Obi wan nodded vigorously. "Yes! Master Yoda always-!" Qui Gon grabbed his hand and dragged him off toward the yellow line of sprayable cheese.
* * *
Darth Macaroon sat in his darkened closet, watching the Jedi master and his sidekick walking unknowingly into the best trap the Sith could come up with in five minutes.
But, Darth Macaroon thought, you have to admit... its pretty good for only five. Its brilliant--they'll walk into that room and then...BLAM! They'll never know what hit them. At least I hope so.
He sat back, smiling evilly.
"Don't they know? Cheese Whiz is the bane of all Jedi kind! AHAAAHAAH! None can withstand its tempting cheesiness and survive! The awesome power I hold in my hands is sure to kill them faster than you can say 'three M' fbbble'guck'thbbts in a sock drawer!' AHAAAHAAH!!! Its far too simple!"
Just then, a voice interpreted Darth Macaroon's mirth. "Yes, it really was."
Darth Macaroon spun around to see Master Qui Gon standing in the doorway along with his apprentice Obi wan.
" I thought we were going to have to execute a couple ugly henchmen and a few thousand battle droids! Whatever happened to showing off our superior Jedi thingie?!" Qui Gon grumped.
Darth Macaroon blinked. " 'Jedi thingie'??"
Obi wan stepped forward, looking indignant. "Yeah! Our 'thingie'!"
"I know nothing of your 'thingie' you preposterous Jedi! Whoever came up with that?!" Darth Macaroon glowered at them.
"Whatever," Obi wan threw up his hands. "We know what your up to, evil Sith! And it won't work!"
Qui Gon turned to his apprentice. "We do?"
Obi wan blinked. "...You don't? I thought you knew!"
"Oh, right! I'm the master-like I know everything! Hah! Blame it all on me!"
Darth Macaroon stood gaping at the two squabbling Jedi. It must be the Cheese Whiz's strange powers...
He cleared his throat. "...Hello! Excuse me! ..."
The Jedi let go of each other, looking rather embarrassed.
"Ahh...Now where was I..." Darth Macaroon looked lost for a moment. "...Oh, right-I am the evil Sith lord. So I'm going to kill you and everything like that. Same old, same old. But before I do, we all might as well get to know each other."
Master Qui Gon blinked. "Uh...Right. I'm Master Jedi Qui Gon Something-err-rather and this is my trusty sidekick, apprentice extraordinaire, Obi wan What's-his-bucket."
"Ahh," Darth Macaroon nodded wisely. "I see. You come from the galaxy of Little Intelligence. I was there once, when I was a mere grub, err, boy."
They all shook hands and Darth Macaroon offered them chairs.
"No, thanks," Qui Gon declined. "We're a little short on time and we must be off."
"Drat!" Darth Macaroon looked disappointed. "Well, then...without further ado..."
The two Jedi nodded and flourished their light sabers. Obi wan thumbed the little switch that said 'on' and his light saber blade sprang forth.
Qui Gon produced his with a flourish, looking very impressive and threatening, yes indeedy! But when he tried to turn it on, nothing happened.
"Oh, bugger!" The switch made little 'click, click' noises, but nothing materialized out of the saber's business end. Master Qui Gon shook it, peered into the end, and slapped it a couple of times.
"What?!! How can I kill you if you don't put up a fight? Well, that does it! Ooh!" Darth Macaroon threw down his can of Cheese Whiz, hitting his own foot. He hopped around, swearing profusely. "And now my foot's out of commission! Well, we'll have to postpone!"
The Jedi let their light sabers droop. "...All right. Another time then?"
"Yes. Another time, then." Darth Macaroon waved, smiling, at them as they let themselves out the door. "Bye!"
A moment later they poked their heads back in. "By the way--what's the Cheese Whiz for??"
Darth Macaroon frowned for a moment. "--It's the bane of all Jedi..."
Obi wan picked up the can, which had rolled away forgotten after it had been dropped.
"Actually, sir, it says right here 'does not tempt Jedi, mice or other small rodents, contrary to popular belief.' And then it says 'if you thought so, all the company can say in light of your disillusion is...AHAAAAHAAAH! Sucker! Thank you.' "
Darth Macaroon looked visibly deflated. "Egads! But everybody knows... You know, this is the third time I find that my master's tutoring has managed to make a galumphing Gick'merght'fffbt! out of my sorry red and black hide!"
The Jedi exchanged puzzled looks. "Gee, that's too bad...Well, we'll just be off, then. Bye."
"Oh, goodbye...Don't forget, okay? Drop in again some time!" Darth Macaroon waved as the Jedi disappeared.
He stalked over to a chair and groped around behind the spiked cushions. Looking around for a moment, he pulled out a small shoe.
"He did it again!" Darth Macaroon addressed the shoe. "Sole...what do you say---we do?" he held the shoe up to his ear for a moment and listened. "Oh! That's a very good idea, Sole! What would I do without you?... Yes, I know...you're my sole. But still... I wish that I didn't have to--no offense--ask a shoe that has more intelligence...Hah! That's a good one! 'You have the intelligence of a zucchini ' AHAAAHAAH! Oh, 'a very small zucchini' HAAAHAAAHAAAH! That's soooo funny!!"
He giggled for a minute or two, slowly dissolving into hiccups. The shoe sighed and shook its head.
A/N: yeppers, I am thinking of chap 4 as you read this... any ideas?? I've got writer's block :P