miaka1 Just a small random fic. I was originally going to do a Miaka-bashing rant, but when I really got to thinking about Miaka, this idea popped up instead. It's pure speculation and helps explain the possible reason why Miaka eats so much and never gains a pound. > It's also my attempt to humanize Miaka and make her easier to relate to. ^_^ This story's a bit personal for me too, since I put in my own experience on how I felt when I was starting high school... Well anyways, I hope this piece helps convert a few Miaka-haters and help them like Miaka a bit better. xD And it also shows that perhaps it wasn't just because of luck that she was chosen to be the Suzaku no miko...

- Lady Ryouko

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Take Me Away

- Miaka, just the girl -

"Mom, I got a B on my English essay," I said brightly.

"Like that's going to get you into Jonan."

"Look, Mom, I got 2nd prize in the science fair!" I exclaimed.

"2nd? You know you could've done better than that..."

"Mom...."

"Go study, Miaka."

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I'm not studying. I won't study. I don't care.

I walked by Jonan Academy on the way home. I tried to familiarize it with myself as much as I could, so I can get myself use to the idea of attending it someday. This will be my new school. Never mind how it looks like a prison and the hallways stretch on forever... I watched a few Jonan girls leave the school and tried to imagine that was me. Could I ever be like them? They marched smartly down the steps and discussed the classes they had that day. I hid a giggle. Yui and I would be would be running down to the nearby ice cream shop and talking about our latest crushes.

I know I'm not going to fit in. I'm not going to have any friends there... I'm going to the weird outcast that no one talks to. Everyone has their own little groups already...

I just wish Mom wasn't so hard on me. I know how hard she works and how badly she wants me to go to Jonan. Then she'll feel like all her hard work paid off... that her daughter's going to one of the best schools in Japan. But I'm scared. I'm not smart enough... I'm going to fail and Mom's going to hate me, I don't know...

All my friends act like they're sad that I'm going to be leaving them. "Miaka, are you SURE you can't go to the same school as us...?" Not really sure. "Miaka, we're going to miss you! We'll call you every day, hehe!" Yeah right.

I don't want to imagine myself in the future. I'm scared. No one really knows how worried I am because I try and act happy around them. Maybe Yui understands... she told me that she'll try and come to Jonan with me, just for me! But that's not really good news... I told Mom and she said to me that it just means I'm going to work harder to get into Jonan.

I'm such a fool. I should study, I really should. I need to study as much as I can. There's only a few weeks until the exams... but no, instead I'm eating Cream Puffs and writing in this stupid journal. It's wonder why I'm not huge already, with all the food I'm eating nowadays. I really don't like eating so much, so I usually throw up afterwards. But when you're stuffing your face, you don't have to think about much else. Sugar sweetness, and it almost fills up the strange void inside of me.

I feel sick. I wish I could just run away. I've been having the strangest dreams lately. Of course I can't remember much of it after I wake up, but I know I'm eating Chinese food. Yea, that's kinda weird, but the thing is that.... I felt so happy. I was perfectly content and eating my noodles... I wish so bad that I could remember more, but all I can recall is that I'm eating noodles. I guess I really do think about food too much. I wonder what those dreams mean though...

Yesterday I ate 4 bowls of noodles to try and make myself feel better. I ate them and tried to remember how safe and happy I felt in my dream. I ended up crying afterwards and feeling so pathetic. I wish my dream was real though, just for a few minutes. I can't remember how it feels to be truly happy anymore.

There's a really pretty sky out tonight. Even in the city fog, I can see a ton of stars. The constellations seem to twinkle reassuringly at me and I smile like I haven't done for months. Even though I feel a bit foolish, I bow and clasp my hands together. Please... take me away from all this...

The Beginning

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Well, actually, The End. But that's my version of the beginning of Fushigi Yuugi. =)

So, how was it? I hope I portrayed Miaka like I wanted to... now really, could you honestly say you hate her now? ^_^ I'm sure most of you can relate to her a bit better after this reading this, I hope. Please feel totally free to write a review if you've enjoyed my little story, thanks.