Chapter 11
Rage
Zack got back to Logan's apartment first. He looked anxious, and ran in to tell Logan that he hadn't found Trigs and wanted to radio to the others. Looking out across the living room, he saw a small figure standing by the window, shaking like she was having a seizure. Zack ran across, expecting to see Max, but instead it was a face he didn't know. It was the face of an innocent child scared by years of toil, years of running, years of death.
Trigs looked up at Zack, and smiled. It was the same warm smile Zack had always looked forward too in the barracks. When Max had a seizure, Zack was always on one side of her, and Trigs was holding her hand in the other, smiling the smile that made everything better, then singing her beautiful songs.
Zack glowered at her. He knew how to do nothing else. She was not his ally. She was the enemy. She took the X5's away from him. She hid from him for years. She decided to show herself only because she was dying. It was not what he wanted.
But when Trigs slumped to the floor, shaking, all the hate and angry Zack had inside for her melted away. She wasn't X5 631, or anything else for that matter. She was Trigs, his little sister, and though she was a little brat, she was his sister, and she needed him to hold her.
Zack rushed over and grabbed his sister, stopping her from hitting her head. Holding her tightly, he moved her so her head was on his lap. He pushed the long red hair, matted form sweat, off her brow, and the hate melted off his own face.
"Zack? Is that you?" she asked, reaching out her own shaky hand up to him.
"Yeah Trigs. I'm here for you."
"Thank you Zack. You don't know how much this means to me."
"Why didn't you find me sooner. If you were dying…"
"My pride. You know me. I don't ask for help. I didn't tell Carn, let alone any of the X5's. Only Renz knew, and he wasn't supposed to tell."
"Good thing he did."
"I guess so. Zack, you need to know about her, about what she's done to me. She did this to me, and you could have it too."
"I know what she's done. She's killed my baby sister."
"More than that Zack."
"The baby sister I love with all my heart, because she and I share more than a bar code. We always looked alike Trigs. I always knew."
"Damn it Zack."
"All I can ask is if you forgive me? For all I've done."
"Yeah. I did a long time ago Zack. Can you forgive me?"
"You haven't done anything Trigsie. I did it all. I pushed you away. I let Ben die. I let Tinga die."
"You didn't do that. It's all Manticore Zack. All Manticore."
"Trigs…"
"I'm so scared Zack. I'm scared of dying. I don't want to be here. I want to go home, Zack. I want to go back to Manticore."
"No Trigs. I won't let you. I would not send my worst enemy back there."
"But Brin."
"Brin was different. You will just be experimented on. They'll let you live for a while and then kill you. Rather you die with dignity?"
"Yes."
"Good girl Trigs."
"Zack, don't let me go."
"I won't."
"Do you think I'll go to the good place?"
"Yes Trigs. You'll go there and you and Ben can sing until your lungs burst."
"Lungs don't burst there."
"I know. And then you can teach Eva to play the guitar. Renz said you have a talent."
"He flatters me."
"And then when you go to sleep, no one will wake you until you're good and ready."
"No. Peeps will want to go swimming."
"And then you Jack can eat all you want for breakfast."
"And then I'll write some poetry. I love poetry."
"I knew you would Trigs."
"Will you come with me?"
"One day I'll be there baby sister. You and me, we'll stay up longer than Max and Jondy and talk about our lives. There's so much of yours I missed."
"Oh Zack. This reminds me of a poem I once heard."
"What?"
"By Dylan Thomas. It went something like, Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight, Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay. Rage, rage against the dying of the light."
"Trigs no. Hold on a little more. Max is coming. So are Jondy and Zane. You need to talk to them."
"
"No Trigs. Hold on."
"Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray."
"Blue Lady save her soul!" Zack yelled Franticly.
"Do not go gentle into that good night," she said, her head slumping to one side.
Max and Jondy burst into the room flanked by Zane, Renz and Carn.
"No!" yelled Jondy, "NO! Trigs no! Please oh god wake up!"
"She's gone," said Carn, his eyes welling up with tears.
"Baby sister," said Zane, "No…"
"Give me the body," said Renz, "She had a request. One last one, for Carn and me. Please Zack. Hold a funeral, but she wanted her body up in the mountains that she loved. Carn and I will take her."
"Someone should call Brin," said Carn, "She'll want to know."
"Baby sister," said Jondy.
"Oh hell," said Max, "I'll tell Normal."