Author's Note: Sorry about all the html stuff on part 4, I didn't copy it right=) Anyway, thanks for the nice reviews and I hope you enjoy part 5.
Hello, Gorgeous
By: Jaycie
Nicole had always been an eavesdropper. As a child, she knew what would be waiting for her under the Christmas tree by early November. In school, people came to her for the hottest gossip; she had known the class president was being dumped two days before he did.
And, most importantly, it had been an overheard conversation that had made her notice Dawson Leery. It was right in the middle of sophomore year, and Dawson stood smack dab in the middle of the manicured quad. His face was alight with rage, eyes flashing red and fists clenched. A girl stood before him, face calm. She looked as if she wasn't at all surprised by his outburst. The situation had intrigued Nicole, and she walked closer to the couple, taking a seat on a bench nearby. She had picked up her five-pound biology book and flipped through it, attempting to be inconspicuous. She knew now that she needn't have tried so hard. Dawson had been lost in his own world, the same one he now shared with Jolie...instead of her.
Nicole remembered the words Dawson said that day. "I thought I could trust you. You know I loved you unconditionally," at this the girl put her head down, but Dawson lifted her chin gently, his voice softening, "Just tell me why. Didn't I give you everything you wanted? What else can I do? Just tell me and I'll do it. If only you'd come back, if only you still loved me the way I love you. I can't even sleep anymore-" Dawson's voice lowered so that Nicole could no longer hear his words, but she had heard enough. She picked up her bag, quickly finding her sunglasses and slipping them on. Nicole never could cry in public. She continued watching the two of them until the girl turned and ran from Dawson. Nicole saw his shoulders slump, saw him reach down and pick up his books dejectedly. As he walked from the quad he looked over to Nicole and she pulled her sunglasses off, letting him see her tears. And he smiled.
And now, for the second time in her life, she didn't bother to hide the tears that filled her eyes and slowly tumbled down her cheeks. For twelve years, Dawson had been her life. Every day she had woken up next to him, fought over what to have for dinner with him, snuggled up on the couch they had bought together with him. After a year of idyllic marriage, they brought an angel into the world and named her Jolie. In French jolie meant pretty-and she was.
Now, after a year of never seeing him, simply hearing him say her name was enough to make her crumble. She stood up shakily from the bar stool, aware of the many pairs of eyes that followed her. For once, she didn't care what they thought of her. She cared only what Dawson thought and he wasn't making it easy for her. He stood, an unreadable look in his eyes, his jaw set in the way it always did when he was faced with a difficult decision. Nicole couldn't believe how much more attractive he had gotten. Was it really possible to change so drastically in only a year? Nicole knew it was, Dawson was living, breathing proof.
As she reached him, she wiped away her tears with fisted hands, determined to be as strong as Dawson was being. She rolled back her shoulders and lifted her chin with the resolute determination she'd always had. And then she spoke.
****
It was two in the morning and Josephine couldn't sleep. She'd had a dream about Andie, the one she always had. She got up and yawned, thinking how she'd been having the dream at least once a week for about thirteen years now. It hardly bothered her anymore, except for the sleep she never got. She looked to the slumbering form in the bed next to hers and smiled. Ricky always had slept like a log.
Josephine found herself thinking for the hundredth time what a perfect boyfriend Ricky would make. He cared for Josephine in a way no man ever had, he'd seen her through her worst times and didn't run now when she decided to revert back to drunken Josephine every once in a while. He was her savior.
He was also gay. Josephine sighed and ran a hand through her long tresses as she headed for the bathroom. She had told him about Jack, and the fact that she seemed to attract gay men was a running joke between the two of them. Ricky was the only one Josephine let herself get attached to. He held every piece of the puzzle of her past except the one that completed it. The one that made every other piece fall into place. Without it, all Ricky had was a pile of cardboard cutouts that made no sense. Everyday, in every conversation they had, Josephine thought of telling Ricky, of giving him that last piece. But just before the words escaped her lips, she stopped herself. Even Ricky wouldn't understand what she did. If she couldn't forgive herself for that night...how could he?
She looked at herself in the dingy bathroom mirror and her reflection depressed her. Memories of high school made her yearn for the old Joey Potter, the girl with unbeatable determination, fierce wit, and enough charm to cajole a sweater off a homeless man's back. She didn't need to ask where that girl had gone. She had been buried with Andie. But tonight, as Josephine stared at her weary reflection, she felt her chin rise and her eyes start to flash. Andie had never left her side since the night of her death. After thirteen years of torment, Josephine was sick of the burden. She had come back to Capeside to face her demons and leave them here. And she'd be damned if she faced them looking like a scared little schoolgirl. She was a strong, independent woman. And her name was Joey.
**
Dawson felt such a mix of emotions
Anger. She stood before Dawson, shaking like a fawn when he knew she was more like a panther. She seemed to believe that crying would immediately melt his heart and he'd need her to mold it back together. Dawson's jaw clenched. That might work with Jolie, but Nicole...nothing short of a divine intervention would make him civil enough to even smile at her. He thought of his daughter, curled peacefully under the blankets in his childhood bedroom. She didn't deserve to have Nicole crash in and out of her life whenever she felt she was out of the spotlight. If Dawson had anything to say about it, Nicole could hand over her diamond wedding ring.
But, on the other hand... Attraction. On an animal level...Dawson's fingers ached to touch her. His eyes drank in the curves of her body, the shine of her hair, the roundness of her eyes. Her smell alone, a mixture of amber and sunflowers, triggered hundreds of memories of torrid nights spent together. Of the night they made Jolie. A shudder ran through Dawson's body and he had to fight to keep his fisted hands in his pockets.
His mind, his heart split in half. One side remembering her striking features distorted into an ugly, jealous scowl on the day she drove off and left him a single father. The other remembering how she'd smiled as she'd said 'I do.' How she looked now, vulnerable and fragile. It looked like she needed him, the way Dawson had always wanted her to.
His breath caught as she spoke, "Surprise." She laughed, a nervous quivering laugh.
Dawson didn't laugh. He didn't smile. He couldn't decide how to act, not yet. Finally, he dragged his eyes away from her piercing gaze and rested his chin on his chest. With a sigh and a shrug he answered her, his voice tortured, "I can't do this. Not now."
He turned on his heel and pushed through the door, feeling a rush of relief when fresh air invaded his lungs. He pressed his palms against his eyes, thinking that it wasn't right to feel like a caged animal around his wife, estranged or not. He had made it out alive, but not before he had seen Nicole's eyes, how the hope and light had both been extinguished.
**
Pacey had watched the interaction between Dawson and the woman, how so many words had been understood between them when only three sentences had been spoken. For the second time tonight Pacey was left breathless. Somehow seeing Dawson have such a strong connection with someone other than a Capesider hurt him. Dawson had always seemed the hub of their circle of friends. He was Pacey's best friend, Joey's best friend, Jen's next-door neighbor... Even through the rough times, without Dawson, Pacey had always believed their bond would have just broken and faded away.
The fact that Dawson had...grown past him and Joey and Jen and Jack, it just wasn't right. Maybe he had even forgotten Andie. Pacey squeezed his eyes shut and pursed his lips. No, Dawson hadn't forgotten about Andie. Of that Pacey was sure. He realized that somewhere in his mind he had expected to find Capeside just how he had left it. With Dawson still agonizing over trivial things, Joey still agonizing over Dawson. He had expected them all to be more successful than him. Just as it had always been. But from what he could see, he had surpassed them all. Instead of feeling satisfaction, however, Pacey felt unexplainably depressed.
He rose from the stool, having sobered up upon seeing Dawson. He walked past Nicole, who had not moved since Dawson had left her by the door, with hardly a glance in her direction. As far as he was concerned, she didn't even know Dawson. As he had expected, Dawson sat on a bench only a few feet in front of O'Connor's Pub, his head in his hands. Pacey noted how he was dressed. Pressed khakis and a brown cable-knit sweater. Preppy as always, Pacey guessed some things never changed.
He walked up behind Dawson and spoke in a soft, nostalgic voice, "Do you remember," Pacey noticed him jump slightly, "when we used to pretend your tree house was O'Connor's Pub?"
Dawson didn't turn, but he answered, laughter in his voice, "We used to fight over who got to be the bartender." He looked up at Pacey.
Pacey knew then that he had been wrong. Dawson's eyes still shone with the unshakable optimism he'd had back when Pacey knew him. And still, behind the optimism, lay the ever-present anxiety that had always haunted him. Pacey grinned, clapping a hand onto Dawson's back, "Dawson Leery. We meet again."
Dawson stood from the bench, a smile slowly forming to match Pacey's, "You really don't know how much I've missed you, Pace," he furrowed his forehead in a way that was familiar to Pacey. Dawson was already over-analyzing, "In fact, I don't think I appreciated how much I've missed you."
Pacey shook his head, eyes flashing, "You're still the same old Dawson, you know? Separated for twelve years and I feel like I never left."
Dawson raised an eyebrow, "Actually, I think I left first. I seem to remember a surprise going away party you threw me. Well, you and Andie..." Dawson's voice dropped to a whisper, "both threw it."
Pacey knew Dawson hadn't meant to bring her up, but a knife still thrust itself through his heart, "Yeah. You're right. Me and... We both threw it for you Dawson." Pacey didn't have any more words to say. It had been years, since her funeral, since Pacey had spoken about Andie to anyone. She had been tucked into the back of his mind, his own little secret. It made the guilt ease just slightly. Now he was in Capeside, where everyone knew... Pacey couldn't breathe.
Dawson spoke, "I'm sorry, Pacey. I didn't mean to... bring all of that up. I know I'm not over it yet, not by far. So I know you aren't either," he placed a hand on Pacey's shoulder, a comforting hand.
It worked. Pacey didn't want to ruin this night thinking of Andie. It had been twelve years since he'd seen his best friend and here he was, standing right in front of him. It would be foolish to waste this opportunity.
He shrugged his shoulders and shook himself; pushing Andie from his mind, "Let's not talk about her tonight, Dawson." The devilish glint he had been infamous for in high school began to shine in his eyes, "Let's talk about that gorgeous woman you left crying in the bar."
Dawson's shoulders slumped and he breathed out heavily, "Let's not, Pace. I'll tell you what. Let's talk about Jolie."
Pacey's brow furrowed, "Who's Jolie? Don't tell me little Dawson Leery has two beautiful ladies crying over him? It's not possible." Pacey laughed a genuine laugh, one he hadn't heard come from his lips in years.
Dawson smiled ironically, "Something like that. Come with me and you can meet her."
Pacey happily obliged.
**
Joey slipped through the doors of the hotel. It was freezing outside, but instead of bracing herself for the cold, she lifted her chin and strode right into it. The fresh, frosty air on her cheeks and in her lungs reinforced her decision to get past it all. To become Joey Potter again.
She had gotten into the shower after her epiphany, feeling so restless she feared she'd never be able to sleep again. She had to get out, to feel the freedom she had surrendered to Andie for so long. She had taken the time to blow-dry her hair. As she had figured, Ricky hadn't been awakened by the noise. She had painstakingly applied first eyeliner, then mascara, then lipstick. She was beginning to look like the firecracker she had been. She had slipped into a pair of tight jeans and a sweater, the most presentable clothes she had brought along with her. The next time she looked at herself in the mirror, it wasn't the same reflection she had seen an hour ago. She looked...hot. Like she remembered her reflection to be.
Now, Joey floated through the streets of Capeside, finding she still knew them all like the back of her hand. She felt carefree and lighthearted and she wondered why she hadn't let go of Andie much earlier. After all, it wasn't completely her fault.
Joey shook herself. Like everyone told her, it wasn't her fault at all. Andie knew she shouldn't have driven. It doesn't matter that Joey had practically forced her to get behind the wheel... But Joey was past thinking about, agonizing over, all of that now. She was stronger than anyone thought.
Her breath caught as she saw who walked only a few short steps in front of her. Pacey and Dawson, two men she knew almost as well as herself. Why, then, was she frightened at the prospect of facing them? This wasn't the Joey Potter she remembered and it wasn't the Joey Potter that was walking here on this very street tonight. She ran a hand through her thick, shimmering hair and smiled. She walked a little faster, quickly reaching her two closest friends.
Author's Note: Thank you for reading all the way down here, please review!
Hello, Gorgeous
By: Jaycie
Nicole had always been an eavesdropper. As a child, she knew what would be waiting for her under the Christmas tree by early November. In school, people came to her for the hottest gossip; she had known the class president was being dumped two days before he did.
And, most importantly, it had been an overheard conversation that had made her notice Dawson Leery. It was right in the middle of sophomore year, and Dawson stood smack dab in the middle of the manicured quad. His face was alight with rage, eyes flashing red and fists clenched. A girl stood before him, face calm. She looked as if she wasn't at all surprised by his outburst. The situation had intrigued Nicole, and she walked closer to the couple, taking a seat on a bench nearby. She had picked up her five-pound biology book and flipped through it, attempting to be inconspicuous. She knew now that she needn't have tried so hard. Dawson had been lost in his own world, the same one he now shared with Jolie...instead of her.
Nicole remembered the words Dawson said that day. "I thought I could trust you. You know I loved you unconditionally," at this the girl put her head down, but Dawson lifted her chin gently, his voice softening, "Just tell me why. Didn't I give you everything you wanted? What else can I do? Just tell me and I'll do it. If only you'd come back, if only you still loved me the way I love you. I can't even sleep anymore-" Dawson's voice lowered so that Nicole could no longer hear his words, but she had heard enough. She picked up her bag, quickly finding her sunglasses and slipping them on. Nicole never could cry in public. She continued watching the two of them until the girl turned and ran from Dawson. Nicole saw his shoulders slump, saw him reach down and pick up his books dejectedly. As he walked from the quad he looked over to Nicole and she pulled her sunglasses off, letting him see her tears. And he smiled.
And now, for the second time in her life, she didn't bother to hide the tears that filled her eyes and slowly tumbled down her cheeks. For twelve years, Dawson had been her life. Every day she had woken up next to him, fought over what to have for dinner with him, snuggled up on the couch they had bought together with him. After a year of idyllic marriage, they brought an angel into the world and named her Jolie. In French jolie meant pretty-and she was.
Now, after a year of never seeing him, simply hearing him say her name was enough to make her crumble. She stood up shakily from the bar stool, aware of the many pairs of eyes that followed her. For once, she didn't care what they thought of her. She cared only what Dawson thought and he wasn't making it easy for her. He stood, an unreadable look in his eyes, his jaw set in the way it always did when he was faced with a difficult decision. Nicole couldn't believe how much more attractive he had gotten. Was it really possible to change so drastically in only a year? Nicole knew it was, Dawson was living, breathing proof.
As she reached him, she wiped away her tears with fisted hands, determined to be as strong as Dawson was being. She rolled back her shoulders and lifted her chin with the resolute determination she'd always had. And then she spoke.
****
It was two in the morning and Josephine couldn't sleep. She'd had a dream about Andie, the one she always had. She got up and yawned, thinking how she'd been having the dream at least once a week for about thirteen years now. It hardly bothered her anymore, except for the sleep she never got. She looked to the slumbering form in the bed next to hers and smiled. Ricky always had slept like a log.
Josephine found herself thinking for the hundredth time what a perfect boyfriend Ricky would make. He cared for Josephine in a way no man ever had, he'd seen her through her worst times and didn't run now when she decided to revert back to drunken Josephine every once in a while. He was her savior.
He was also gay. Josephine sighed and ran a hand through her long tresses as she headed for the bathroom. She had told him about Jack, and the fact that she seemed to attract gay men was a running joke between the two of them. Ricky was the only one Josephine let herself get attached to. He held every piece of the puzzle of her past except the one that completed it. The one that made every other piece fall into place. Without it, all Ricky had was a pile of cardboard cutouts that made no sense. Everyday, in every conversation they had, Josephine thought of telling Ricky, of giving him that last piece. But just before the words escaped her lips, she stopped herself. Even Ricky wouldn't understand what she did. If she couldn't forgive herself for that night...how could he?
She looked at herself in the dingy bathroom mirror and her reflection depressed her. Memories of high school made her yearn for the old Joey Potter, the girl with unbeatable determination, fierce wit, and enough charm to cajole a sweater off a homeless man's back. She didn't need to ask where that girl had gone. She had been buried with Andie. But tonight, as Josephine stared at her weary reflection, she felt her chin rise and her eyes start to flash. Andie had never left her side since the night of her death. After thirteen years of torment, Josephine was sick of the burden. She had come back to Capeside to face her demons and leave them here. And she'd be damned if she faced them looking like a scared little schoolgirl. She was a strong, independent woman. And her name was Joey.
**
Dawson felt such a mix of emotions
Anger. She stood before Dawson, shaking like a fawn when he knew she was more like a panther. She seemed to believe that crying would immediately melt his heart and he'd need her to mold it back together. Dawson's jaw clenched. That might work with Jolie, but Nicole...nothing short of a divine intervention would make him civil enough to even smile at her. He thought of his daughter, curled peacefully under the blankets in his childhood bedroom. She didn't deserve to have Nicole crash in and out of her life whenever she felt she was out of the spotlight. If Dawson had anything to say about it, Nicole could hand over her diamond wedding ring.
But, on the other hand... Attraction. On an animal level...Dawson's fingers ached to touch her. His eyes drank in the curves of her body, the shine of her hair, the roundness of her eyes. Her smell alone, a mixture of amber and sunflowers, triggered hundreds of memories of torrid nights spent together. Of the night they made Jolie. A shudder ran through Dawson's body and he had to fight to keep his fisted hands in his pockets.
His mind, his heart split in half. One side remembering her striking features distorted into an ugly, jealous scowl on the day she drove off and left him a single father. The other remembering how she'd smiled as she'd said 'I do.' How she looked now, vulnerable and fragile. It looked like she needed him, the way Dawson had always wanted her to.
His breath caught as she spoke, "Surprise." She laughed, a nervous quivering laugh.
Dawson didn't laugh. He didn't smile. He couldn't decide how to act, not yet. Finally, he dragged his eyes away from her piercing gaze and rested his chin on his chest. With a sigh and a shrug he answered her, his voice tortured, "I can't do this. Not now."
He turned on his heel and pushed through the door, feeling a rush of relief when fresh air invaded his lungs. He pressed his palms against his eyes, thinking that it wasn't right to feel like a caged animal around his wife, estranged or not. He had made it out alive, but not before he had seen Nicole's eyes, how the hope and light had both been extinguished.
**
Pacey had watched the interaction between Dawson and the woman, how so many words had been understood between them when only three sentences had been spoken. For the second time tonight Pacey was left breathless. Somehow seeing Dawson have such a strong connection with someone other than a Capesider hurt him. Dawson had always seemed the hub of their circle of friends. He was Pacey's best friend, Joey's best friend, Jen's next-door neighbor... Even through the rough times, without Dawson, Pacey had always believed their bond would have just broken and faded away.
The fact that Dawson had...grown past him and Joey and Jen and Jack, it just wasn't right. Maybe he had even forgotten Andie. Pacey squeezed his eyes shut and pursed his lips. No, Dawson hadn't forgotten about Andie. Of that Pacey was sure. He realized that somewhere in his mind he had expected to find Capeside just how he had left it. With Dawson still agonizing over trivial things, Joey still agonizing over Dawson. He had expected them all to be more successful than him. Just as it had always been. But from what he could see, he had surpassed them all. Instead of feeling satisfaction, however, Pacey felt unexplainably depressed.
He rose from the stool, having sobered up upon seeing Dawson. He walked past Nicole, who had not moved since Dawson had left her by the door, with hardly a glance in her direction. As far as he was concerned, she didn't even know Dawson. As he had expected, Dawson sat on a bench only a few feet in front of O'Connor's Pub, his head in his hands. Pacey noted how he was dressed. Pressed khakis and a brown cable-knit sweater. Preppy as always, Pacey guessed some things never changed.
He walked up behind Dawson and spoke in a soft, nostalgic voice, "Do you remember," Pacey noticed him jump slightly, "when we used to pretend your tree house was O'Connor's Pub?"
Dawson didn't turn, but he answered, laughter in his voice, "We used to fight over who got to be the bartender." He looked up at Pacey.
Pacey knew then that he had been wrong. Dawson's eyes still shone with the unshakable optimism he'd had back when Pacey knew him. And still, behind the optimism, lay the ever-present anxiety that had always haunted him. Pacey grinned, clapping a hand onto Dawson's back, "Dawson Leery. We meet again."
Dawson stood from the bench, a smile slowly forming to match Pacey's, "You really don't know how much I've missed you, Pace," he furrowed his forehead in a way that was familiar to Pacey. Dawson was already over-analyzing, "In fact, I don't think I appreciated how much I've missed you."
Pacey shook his head, eyes flashing, "You're still the same old Dawson, you know? Separated for twelve years and I feel like I never left."
Dawson raised an eyebrow, "Actually, I think I left first. I seem to remember a surprise going away party you threw me. Well, you and Andie..." Dawson's voice dropped to a whisper, "both threw it."
Pacey knew Dawson hadn't meant to bring her up, but a knife still thrust itself through his heart, "Yeah. You're right. Me and... We both threw it for you Dawson." Pacey didn't have any more words to say. It had been years, since her funeral, since Pacey had spoken about Andie to anyone. She had been tucked into the back of his mind, his own little secret. It made the guilt ease just slightly. Now he was in Capeside, where everyone knew... Pacey couldn't breathe.
Dawson spoke, "I'm sorry, Pacey. I didn't mean to... bring all of that up. I know I'm not over it yet, not by far. So I know you aren't either," he placed a hand on Pacey's shoulder, a comforting hand.
It worked. Pacey didn't want to ruin this night thinking of Andie. It had been twelve years since he'd seen his best friend and here he was, standing right in front of him. It would be foolish to waste this opportunity.
He shrugged his shoulders and shook himself; pushing Andie from his mind, "Let's not talk about her tonight, Dawson." The devilish glint he had been infamous for in high school began to shine in his eyes, "Let's talk about that gorgeous woman you left crying in the bar."
Dawson's shoulders slumped and he breathed out heavily, "Let's not, Pace. I'll tell you what. Let's talk about Jolie."
Pacey's brow furrowed, "Who's Jolie? Don't tell me little Dawson Leery has two beautiful ladies crying over him? It's not possible." Pacey laughed a genuine laugh, one he hadn't heard come from his lips in years.
Dawson smiled ironically, "Something like that. Come with me and you can meet her."
Pacey happily obliged.
**
Joey slipped through the doors of the hotel. It was freezing outside, but instead of bracing herself for the cold, she lifted her chin and strode right into it. The fresh, frosty air on her cheeks and in her lungs reinforced her decision to get past it all. To become Joey Potter again.
She had gotten into the shower after her epiphany, feeling so restless she feared she'd never be able to sleep again. She had to get out, to feel the freedom she had surrendered to Andie for so long. She had taken the time to blow-dry her hair. As she had figured, Ricky hadn't been awakened by the noise. She had painstakingly applied first eyeliner, then mascara, then lipstick. She was beginning to look like the firecracker she had been. She had slipped into a pair of tight jeans and a sweater, the most presentable clothes she had brought along with her. The next time she looked at herself in the mirror, it wasn't the same reflection she had seen an hour ago. She looked...hot. Like she remembered her reflection to be.
Now, Joey floated through the streets of Capeside, finding she still knew them all like the back of her hand. She felt carefree and lighthearted and she wondered why she hadn't let go of Andie much earlier. After all, it wasn't completely her fault.
Joey shook herself. Like everyone told her, it wasn't her fault at all. Andie knew she shouldn't have driven. It doesn't matter that Joey had practically forced her to get behind the wheel... But Joey was past thinking about, agonizing over, all of that now. She was stronger than anyone thought.
Her breath caught as she saw who walked only a few short steps in front of her. Pacey and Dawson, two men she knew almost as well as herself. Why, then, was she frightened at the prospect of facing them? This wasn't the Joey Potter she remembered and it wasn't the Joey Potter that was walking here on this very street tonight. She ran a hand through her thick, shimmering hair and smiled. She walked a little faster, quickly reaching her two closest friends.
Author's Note: Thank you for reading all the way down here, please review!