So this is some of the (occasionally over the top and slightly dodgy) poetry I felt compelled to write after Lucy died. It's been hanging around for ages and I just decided to do something with it at last. I'm well prepared to be completely slated for this. The idea of the first two is that they answer each other - well, in some ways anyway. This first one is Lucy's POV.

The Sound Of Silence

For what I'm about to say
I make no apology
I hate you now
And I always will
Where I am
That's no shallow threat
I'll never leave you
Never let you go
Why should I?
Why should your suffering end?
Mine never will
It left a hole in you the day I died
The hole in me is a chasm
I was so near to all I wanted
Yet so far away as well
You think your pain is unbearable
Try bottling it up for 24 years
Try never saying what you really feel
For fear of hurting someone else
Try always being the sweet one
The blonde one, the pretty one
Try dying before you've had a chance
To put the wrong right
Try leaving the world without doing yourself justice
Without making yourself proud
I pleased other people
I trained to do the very same
Second nature to me
I ignore the first
The instinct to follow what I felt
Till eventually I died from
My own good nature, my own damned niceness
So maybe I don't blame you as such
Maybe I know there is nothing you could have done
And I realise you can't change things now
But I hate you
I do, so much it burns and hurts
Even in death
I hate you with a passion you never even knew I had
Because you never stopped to find out
You never knew me
And that's what hurts the most
I know, believe me, because it's killing me too
I ache, as much as I can, for all we could have been
For all I could have been and never was
It's not your fault
Yet I need you to hurt
Because as long as you hurt you remember
And as long as you remember
I'm not truly dead
I can't be
If I'm living in your head.