All the usual disclaimers apply. The characters are not mine, I am merely a fan who makes no commercial gain from writing this story.
Sequel to "I, Angel" - if you haven't read that and want to catch up, please click on the link to Soo W above and you'll get there
"...you wanna know the deal? human weakness. it never goes away..."
Cordelia marched into the lobby of The Hyperion. The journey home had not calmed her, not dampened her anger by the least amount, nor quelled the grief that hovered, threatening to dissolve her into tears at any moment. As she said a quiet "hey" to the others, she knew she wasn't going to be able to break it to them gently. "Hell," she thought, "I'm not sure if I even want to spare anyone's feelings tonight."
She stood before the coat rack and looked at herself in the mirror. Her face was white, almost as white as the four creatures chained at Faith's feet, apart from two smears of red on each cheek. She'd done her make-up before entering the prison and it had looked fine, natural. Now, all the colour she'd painted on looked out of place, garish and clown-like against the pallor of her skin.
Gunn was the first to notice her mood. He left the communal conversation and wandered over to her. His words, "Is everything OK?" were brief and neutral, but as she turned towards him, she could see his face furrowed in concern for her.
"Gunn..." she gulped, "No. No, everything's not OK, as a matter of fact. Things are pretty much the opposite of OK."
Back in the prison, Fred shuffled around her cell. "Only twenty-four hours left," she reminded herself, "Then I'm going to be going home." The thought was strangely uncomforting. "Maybe the Angel thing only works here," she thought, glumly. "Maybe..."
Maybe she'd better get everything she wanted to say said, just in case.
"Angel?"
"I'm here."
"Can I... touch you?"
"Please..."
"I'm shy. Don't know why."
"You're sitting on my lap, just as you did when you came back through the portal that time."
"OK. That feels nice."
"Fred? I want you to do something for me."
"Anything."
"You... you have to stop them. Stop them bringing me back."
Outside an abandoned factory on the outskirts of Los Angeles, Faith aimed her thirty-fifth rock at the only unbroken window the place now possessed. The glass shattered, and a large fragment fell through to the floor of the factory with a satisfying crash. She smiled, and looked around for something else to destroy.
She'd been here for a couple of hours, after leaving Wesley and Gunn to care for a distraught Cordelia. The fact was, she was supposed to be catching her fifth and final vampire, not mooching about looking for things to break.
The problem was, she was so angry about Angel that she couldn't imagine finding a vampire and not having to slay it.
Or was it just that she had a specific vampire in mind?
In the prison, Fred was too shocked to reply at first, and then managed to croak, "Why?"
She felt him hold her a little tighter. "It's too dangerous. I... I love you."
"Then that's all the more reason... don't you want us to be together?"
"More than anything."
"Then..."
"Listen to me. When I was cursed, when my soul was restored, they did it in such a way that prevents me from being really happy and content. It was part of their revenge."
"What do you mean?"
"If I'm truly happy, even for a moment, I lose it again."
"Lose it?"
"My soul. I just become a regular vampire. A killer."
"No..."
"It happened once before. Wes can tell you." He kissed the top of her head and continued. "It's my fault. I should never have started this. I should never have tried to make you want me. But... I never expected to feel... I didn't expect to be in love with you like this. I thought I could keep it under control."
In the murk of LA, Faith abandoned her search for a random vampire and raced to a call box. She dialled the ex-directory number from memory.
"Lilah Morgan."
"Lilah. Faith. Long time no see."
"What do you want?"
"I want not to have to come over there and make modern art with your internal organs. I want some information."
"What information?"
"Where is she?"
"I don't know what you mean."
Faith injected a tone of menace into her voice. "Don't tell me you aren't tracking her. You're the biggest control freaks I've ever met. Tell me where she is, or this might get messy."
Meanwhile, Fred tried to reason her way through what Angel was saying. "But that doesn't mean you can't come back. You lived with the curse before. When I came back from Pylea..."
"I didn't have you then. Look at us. You're not even really here, and I can barely keep from... thinking about being with you..."
Trying not to think about it evidently made him think about it all the more. His words had barely faded away when Fred felt him shifting. His body moved behind her at first, his naked skin pressed into her back and his hands gently cupping her breasts; then she felt herself lifted as he carried her in his arms and laid her down on and imaginary bed somewhere, climbing to join her; then he was holding her in front of him and kissing her.
Eventually, the ebb and flow of his thoughts became indistinct and confused, one wish merged with the next in his mind, and she only knew that he was there, surrounding her, seeming to be in touch with all of her from the soles of her feet to the crown of her head. She couldn't keep up with him, he seemed to know so many ways to stroke and caress her. Eventually she capitulated, gave up the effort and murmured his name, involuntarily, as she surrendered to the sensations he evoked.
"Fred... Fred... I know. It's bliss and I want it too much. If we did this in reality, any of this, I don't think I could stop myself... being happy. It's too dangerous."
"But what's the alternative? I leave you here?"
"We can have this. Here. For as long as you want it."
"Or you could come back and we could... just be friends. As we were."
"Fred... it wouldn't work. You know we'd always be hoping for more. I'm not... always good at denying myself. I can't be the cause of any more pain."
She felt tears well up in her eyes. "Angel, I don't even know if I can get in touch with them. I may not be able to..."
"Promise me you'll find a way. I'm serious."
"OK. I - I promise." As she spoke the tears came. She buried her face in his neck. "I just can't stand to think of you stuck here."
"Fred, please, don't cry." His anguish was almost palpable. "I can settle for this. Even if it's just for a while. If it's the only way I can have you."