It was designed to either be the question or the answer to Lucy's monologue (previous poem). It came out kinda wrong I guess. Carter's POV.

Falling Apart

For God's sakes leave me
Let me be
I know what I've done
All that's wrong
With the way things are now
Stop haunting with me
Breathing with me my every breath
Stop living for me
Controlling what's inside my head
I know I wronged you
God, it hurt me too
Don't you think I hurt enough?
Can't you see the pain?
I didn't want you to die that way
It was my fault
I realised that long ago
No one can convince me otherwise
I don't know why
Everything I see is still you
Every object, every person
Holds too many memories to bear
It all floods back
The room, the blood, the words I said
I couldn't even be nice to you
Could I?
I ask myself why all the time
There are so many whys
I feel dizzy
And then I live it again
And again
It's a nightmare
A staged vision
But I can't escape
Playing inside my head
You think I don't hate myself?
I wish I was dead
I wish I was, more often than anyone knows
It's the only way it'll finally be over
The only way you'll finally leave
The only way you'll finally find peace
I don't hate you for dying
The way I used to
I wish I knew
I wish I knew how you felt
If you hate me
I wouldn't be shocked if you did
But remember before anger overtakes you
You may be dead but I'm the one who's
Been left behind
The one who's left with a hole they'll never fill
A numbness in their heart and brain
No drugs will ever overcome
Pain beyond belief
A suffering perhaps more eternal than your own.