We open again to a shot of Herrington High School, where all of these deranged teachers work. A car screeches through the parking lot.
Hallie: This better be who I think it is.
Josh gets out of the car and walks around to the trunk-while the camera follows his ass the whole time.
Hallie and Gina: YEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He pulls several pens out of the trunk and puts them in his pocket, slams the trunk and walks away. We go to a geeky boy getting out of the school bus. He has a camera around his neck, a sure sign that he is a dork. He looks at the head cheerleader while he is getting off the bus. An elbow comes out of nowhere and knocks him in the nosey.
Gina: Ow.
The camera freezes while he falls down. His name flashes in red "bloody" letters. Casey.
Hallie: Oh my god the screen just froze.
Casey: Sorry, my fault.
A goth chick: Crash and burn, Casey.
The screen freezes again.
Hallie: HOLY SHIT. Nice name- Stoakly isn't that a last name?
Stoakly backs into one of the jocks on the football team.
Jock: You ok?
Stoakly: Walk much?
Gina: Ooh, that hurt.
Jock: You ran into me, beast.
Hallie: Gina, you beast.
Gina: Shut up, crust.
The jock looks over at the cheerleader who is talking to her squad.
Cheerleader: Just keep the hair the same, no hairspray, no teasing, just elegant.
Hallie: That's elegant? God I hate this freakin screen freeze. Delilah. That's kind of a dog name.
The jock goes to kiss her
Gina: Whoa brothers and sisters are getting close these days.
Delilah: Oooh, Stan! These are Estee Lauder lips, they take 72 minutes to apply.
She pushes him away.
Hallie: Really? Cos you still look like shit!
Stan: I have to talk to you about something.
Gina: I'm pregnant
Delilah: Stan, baby, not now, I have to find a new cover story for the school newsletter.
Stan: This just might be the story you're looking for.
Delilah: Do the words editor-in-chief mean ANYTHING to you?
She walks away.
Gina: Bitch.
A blonde new girl is looking for the office.
Blonde: (In a southern drawl) Excuse me, could you please tell me where the office is?
Goth points in the direction, silently.
Hallie: Gina, how did you get into this movie?!
The camera freezes. Marybeth pops up in the screen. The camera cuts to Josh Hartnett walking down the hall. Sadly, it is not focused on his ass.
Hallie and Gina: FINALLY!!
Josh hands two guys fake I.D.'s. When they complain-
Hallie and Gina: GOD THEY'RE SO MEAN TO JOSH!! (We have tears in our eyes).
He hands them pens filled with white dust.
Josh: Guaranteed to jack you up.
The camera freezes and up pops Zeke.
Hallie: That was not a fake orgasm, that was real.
Gina: Ew.
Hallie: This better be who I think it is.
Josh gets out of the car and walks around to the trunk-while the camera follows his ass the whole time.
Hallie and Gina: YEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He pulls several pens out of the trunk and puts them in his pocket, slams the trunk and walks away. We go to a geeky boy getting out of the school bus. He has a camera around his neck, a sure sign that he is a dork. He looks at the head cheerleader while he is getting off the bus. An elbow comes out of nowhere and knocks him in the nosey.
Gina: Ow.
The camera freezes while he falls down. His name flashes in red "bloody" letters. Casey.
Hallie: Oh my god the screen just froze.
Casey: Sorry, my fault.
A goth chick: Crash and burn, Casey.
The screen freezes again.
Hallie: HOLY SHIT. Nice name- Stoakly isn't that a last name?
Stoakly backs into one of the jocks on the football team.
Jock: You ok?
Stoakly: Walk much?
Gina: Ooh, that hurt.
Jock: You ran into me, beast.
Hallie: Gina, you beast.
Gina: Shut up, crust.
The jock looks over at the cheerleader who is talking to her squad.
Cheerleader: Just keep the hair the same, no hairspray, no teasing, just elegant.
Hallie: That's elegant? God I hate this freakin screen freeze. Delilah. That's kind of a dog name.
The jock goes to kiss her
Gina: Whoa brothers and sisters are getting close these days.
Delilah: Oooh, Stan! These are Estee Lauder lips, they take 72 minutes to apply.
She pushes him away.
Hallie: Really? Cos you still look like shit!
Stan: I have to talk to you about something.
Gina: I'm pregnant
Delilah: Stan, baby, not now, I have to find a new cover story for the school newsletter.
Stan: This just might be the story you're looking for.
Delilah: Do the words editor-in-chief mean ANYTHING to you?
She walks away.
Gina: Bitch.
A blonde new girl is looking for the office.
Blonde: (In a southern drawl) Excuse me, could you please tell me where the office is?
Goth points in the direction, silently.
Hallie: Gina, how did you get into this movie?!
The camera freezes. Marybeth pops up in the screen. The camera cuts to Josh Hartnett walking down the hall. Sadly, it is not focused on his ass.
Hallie and Gina: FINALLY!!
Josh hands two guys fake I.D.'s. When they complain-
Hallie and Gina: GOD THEY'RE SO MEAN TO JOSH!! (We have tears in our eyes).
He hands them pens filled with white dust.
Josh: Guaranteed to jack you up.
The camera freezes and up pops Zeke.
Hallie: That was not a fake orgasm, that was real.
Gina: Ew.