All right

All right. I admit it! The last part was terrible. Well, it was OK, but I reread it, and I was disgusted with myself. I was half asleep when I wrote it, and that means it all came out wrong, and the SPG was pretty hopeless. Oh well, I'm awake now. Goody. I know people like Starlight are going to complain and say: 'The standard has dropped. Go back to MWPP.' That, you'll be interested to know, will be up tomorrow…

Back to the Future (4): Regrets

   

    'I'm coming with you,' said Harry immediately.

    'Fine,' said James. 'I suppose if we're going to scare him, we've gotta do it properly (a/n Wise words…).'

    'I'll just get my coat,' said Harry, leaving for the Gryffindor dorms.

    'OK. Will you two stay here?' James added to Ron and Hermione.

    'Yeah,' said Ron, shrugging.

    'What if Sirius and Remus come looking for you?' asked Hermione, sounding concerned.

    'Tell them where we've gone. I'm not going to kill Peter. I'm going to hand him in, so Sirius is off the hook. But I'll scare him a bit first.' Ron grinned, but Hermione still looked unsure.

    'Look, we'll be fine, Hermione,' said James kindly. 'Peter wouldn't have the ability to harm Harry or me.' Hermione nodded. 'And you can stay here with Ron. I'm sure you'll enjoy that –' James grinned as both teenagers went red.

    'I'm ready, James,' said Harry from the corner. 'Let's go.'

*

Peter Pettigrew sat in his small hideout in Hogsmeade, waiting. He was bored out of his skull. If only I'd brought a radio, he thought bitterly. Sirius always had a radio … but there was no point in thinking like that. Sirius was no longer his friend – he was his enemy. So was Remus. They had tried to kill him. And Harry … Peter bit his lip. He couldn't do it. He'd never been able to do it. He couldn't hate Harry. Every time he thought about it, James' face came swimming into view. He couldn't stand it – but then again, he had made the right choice. James had been on the wrong side, the Dark Lord always told him, they'd all been. They were weak. However, he had never called James weak. Peter knew that he had feared James to an extent, but had managed to catch him off guard. And Peter had helped – Peter had shown he was true to his master …

He stretched out his legs, and picked up a copy of the Daily Prophet. He smirked when he saw the headline:

Seventeen Muggles killed in Death Eater attack

He liked it. Life was good. Since the Dark Lord had been reborn, he had given Peter much more responsibility and trust. He would be a great Death Eater some day. His name would never be forgotten. His thoughts were interrupted by a loud hooting from outside. Bloody owls, he thought, they'll give me a heart attack. Peter had never really liked owls. As a young boy, he had owned a small rat, the animal he later learned to change into. Throughout school, he hadn't had a pet. James had had Mercury; Sirius had had Snowy. And they had all had each other. Peter hated the memories of his childhood. They made him feel depressed. They made him wonder whether he'd made the right decision …

But of course he had. Another check of the Daily Prophet was enough to realise that. He had made the right decision, of course he had …

Another howl hooted outside, causing Peter to jump out of his chair. He looked at the clock. This late already? he pondered, time flies sometimes. He decided he might as well get himself some dinner. His stomach was aching with hunger. However, he'd never been much of a cook. Sirius was the one who used to whip feasts up in a matter of minutes. Peter remembered the meals they'd had together. Him – and Sirius – and James. They had dined together a lot. Sirius and Peter's flat hadn't been very far from Godric's Hollow, and anyway, they'd Apparated most of the time …

Peter remembered how James had helped him revise for his Apparition test. Surprisingly enough, he'd managed it first time. James had too, obviously. Sirius got it second time, but Remus never passed. Maybe it was to do with his physical structure – being a werewolf and all – but Remus had never clocked Apparition. He'd always needed to hold onto Sirius, James or Peter to get somewhere.

But Remus hadn't been around a lot in those days. He'd been working a lot – mostly on his job. They have never discerned exactly what it was Remus did – well, James knew – but otherwise, it was shrouded in mystery. One year, Peter recalled, they had only seen Remus twice – at Easter and on James' birthday. He had always looked so pale – Peter had wondered aloud on many occasions what he did, but Remus would act as though he hadn't heard and abruptly change the subject.

And then came that day. The day that changed Peter's life – his chance to show the world what he was really made of. The Dark Lord found him. And he forced me to join him, Peter remembered. But it was worth it. James and Sirius never suspected. Quite the opposite – the fools suspected Remus might be a follower of You-Know-Who, due to his prolonged absences. Peter had almost given himself away at times, but he kept his cover. The Dark Lord always said that he was cunning, and shrewd, monitoring the Potters like that. Peter's parents had died young, and encouragement had rarely come to him. James, Sirius and Remus had always encouraged him – but not in the same way as You-Know-Who.

And then there came that glorious, wonderful day, when Peter was made Lily and James' Secret-Keeper. He could show everyone now. He would show what little Peter Pettigrew was capable of. And yet – when he heard of Lily and James' deaths – he hadn't rejoiced, like other Death Eaters. He had never been able to place it – he had felt – empty. As though an important part of him had been removed. And then he heard the horrific news of the Dark Lord's downfall. Horror had ripped through him. But then again – no one knew, did they?

Except for Sirius.

Sirius knew. Sirius would hand him over to the Ministry. He couldn't let it happen. He had to revive his master…

But Sirius got to him before that. Peter had never seen such devastation – such damage – imprinted on a person's face. Sirius hadn't said a thing. He had just stared at Peter, his bright brown eyes cutting through Peter like knives. Peter couldn't stand it any longer. He had come up with a plan whilst standing there. Everyone – Dumbledore included – thought it was Sirius who had been Lily and James' Secret-Keeper. If Peter could somehow work this into his favour …

He remembered that conversation as if it was yesterday …

***

Sirius had him, cornered. There was no way out now. The Ministry would be here – they would subject him to Veritaserum – Sirius would get off. He would get life in Azkaban. Peter thought, fast. He had never been the clever one in the group. Or the sporty one. But then a sudden inspiration hit him. It was so simple – so brilliant – that he was amazed he hadn't thought of it before. It might work …

    'James and Lily, Sirius, how could you?' he moaned, pretending to wipe tears from the side of his face. It worked a treat. He turned and noticed that some Muggles had stopped to watch. Sirius' face had contorted.

    'What?' he hissed, looking furious. They were the last two words Peter heard Sirius speak for twelve years. He subtly slipped his wand into his hand, hidden behind his back. Peter had always been able to fake tears. He'd have never known how useful it would've been. He started to cry, which made some of the Muggles glare at Sirius. This was going well…

    'You know,' he shouted angrily. 'Lily and James! Sirius, how could you?! He noticed Sirius go for his wand. There was no time to lose. 'Have fun in Azkaban,' he muttered. He muttered 'Displodo!', and what happened next happened in slow motion. The whole ground shivered, and there was a huge explosion. Peter didn't have time to listen … listening wasn't important. Before Sirius could blink, Peter had changed into a rat. His explosion had left a nice hole down into the sewer. He could here screams behind him, but they weren't important. He was free…

Back on the streets, Sirius bowed his head. Twelve dead bodies littered the ground in front of him. Muggles were screaming – the Enforcers would be here any minute. Sirius suddenly spotted something, from where Peter had been standing. It was a photo, taken in their last year at Hogwarts. He picked it up, and stared at it.

Remus and Peter were grinning broadly at the camera. He, Sirius, was at the front, doing some form of lopsided dance. And Lily … James … they were at the back, not looking at the camera, but at each other. Sirius' face shattered when he looked at them. She was staring with her green eyes into his blue ones. I've failed you, he thought, I've failed you both …

Sirius looked again at the photo. Peter was smiling, good-naturedly. He had been good then, Sirius thought. He wasn't with Voldemort. He glanced again from the grinning Peter to Lily and James. He started to laugh. Not a happy laugh, but a cold, bitter laugh. He noticed Muggles staring at him, but he couldn't stop laughing. He didn't stop when the Enforcers came, or when he was transported to Azkaban.

But Azkaban stopped the laughter.

***

 

Peter sighed. Deep down, it had pained him to see Sirius go to Azkaban. Then again, he reminded himself, he would have killed me. Peter sat, musing things over in his mind. He checked the clock again.

    'Jesus,' he muttered. 'Memory Lane sure makes time fly.' He decided that he might as well make himself a mug of hot chocolate before he went to bed. Though his culinary skills were far from first-rate, he was sure he could stretch them that far. He got up off his chair, and walked through to the tiny kitchen. He often alluded to his master that there wasn't enough room to swing a cat, but the Dark Lord would go off on stories about how he had been Britain's greatest cat-swinger in his time, when it had still been a sport. Why can't he just like Quidditch? Peter wondered.

Peter picked up his mug, and walked back into the living room to fetch the book he'd been reading. He couldn't remember the title, but he knew he'd enjoyed it so far. As he crossed the room, his eyes fell again on the Daily Prophet. He smirked, but then another owl outside hooted. Those cursed owls! Peter thought. He had almost dropped his hot chocolate in surprise, but kept a grip on it. He was just reaching for the light switch, when …

BANG!

The door of the hideout flew backwards, and a shadowy figure stepped in. Peter stood, transfixed, staring at his doorway. The figure lowered its hood.

    'Hello, Peter.'

*

   

'Hmm ... this is getting boring,' said Hermione, folding her arms. Ron had just won his sixth game of chess in a row.

    'What do you want to do?' Ron asked. 'Go and see Hagrid?' Hermione looked out of the window to the stormy night sky.

    'No – too wet.' The two of them sat in silence for a moment.

    'Ron?' Hermione asked after a few minutes, causing Ron to start and send chess pieces flying everywhere.

    'Yeah?' Ron answered, summoning chess pieces back to the table with his wand.

    'You know last year, when –' She bit her lip. '– You know when Harry – he saved me?' Ron nodded to show that he knew. 'Do you – do you know how he did it?' Ron fixed her with a piercing stare.

    'You've no idea?' he asked her evenly.

    'No. I mean; was I stunned? I just remember floating, and then Harry's face …'

    'He's never told me, to tell the truth, Hermione. But I know what he did.'

    'What?' asked Hermione desperately. Ron shook his head.

    'We're not twelve years old any more, Hermione,' he said. 'You'll just have to find out for yourself.' And he stood up, and left the common room, leaving Hermione to her very confused thoughts.

*

  

    'Sirius? Are you in here?' Remus had popped back into Hogsmeade to check on Sirius.

    'I'm here, Remus,' said Sirius pleasantly, strolling out of the kitchen with a plate of lasagne floating behind him. 'What's up? Want some food?' He motioned to the floating delicacy behind him.

    'No, I need to get back to the castle soon – I should talk to James. God, it's so amazing. James was the last person I'd expect to mess with a time-turner.'

    'Do you think it was coincidence, that he came here?' Sirius asked shrewdly.

    'Oh, don't get me started on all that Divination crap again. Let me guess, was this "foretold in the stars", or something?'

    'Ha ha,' said Sirius. 'I just think it's strange, what with Voldemort being strong again...' Remus raised his eyebrows.

    'Cooper must really have got though to you,' he said, smirking. '"My dear boy, you have the Grim!"' Sirius snorted.

    'She never discerned that fact. But I remember people got dead scared whenever she said that and then they saw me in the grounds. I use to chase around some of her unlucky pupils.'

    'A right old bully you were,' said Remus, now grinning. 'Anyway, do you have the potion?'

    'The Wolfsbane?' Sirius asked. Remus nodded. 'In the kitchen, next to –' He was cut off at this moment, because a loud scream had just issued from one of the houses across the street. Well, it wasn't really a house; it was a derelict, uninhabited dump, to the best of everyone's knowledge. Sirius and Remus looked at each other for a second. Then, without a word, the two of them swept out of the front door, locking it behind them.

*

   

    'Harry?' said Peter nervously.

    'The very same,' said Harry. 'Expelliarmus!' Peter's wand flew to his hand, and Harry twisted it around in his fingers, the moonlight illuminating the smirk on his face. 'Long time no see, Peter,' he said. 'When was the last time we met? Ah yes, your master's little revival party.'

    'What do you want?' asked Peter shakily. He was trapped. Harry had both wands, and Peter knew only too well what he was capable of.

    'You're coming up to the castle with us,' replied Harry simply. 'Sirius has been a fugitive long enough.'

    'Who's "us"?' asked Peter angrily.

    'Oh, how could I forget?' He looked outside the door, and nodded. A second figure came into the room, with a hood covering his face. He stepped past Harry, and walked closer to Peter, standing terrified in the corner. Peter watched, shaking, as the figure came closer and closer. Was it a Dementor? He thought blindly. No, it wasn't cold enough. The figure stopped, a foot in front of him. Peter closed his eyes. The figure slowly lifted off his hood, and the moonlight lit up his pale face. Peter squinted his eyes, not looking directly at the figure. Finally, seeing nothing would happen if he stood cowering in this corner, he threw caution to the winds, and opened his eyes.

And he screamed.

*

Hermione sat up in her dorm that night, thinking hard. What had Ron meant? "We're not twelve years old any more, Hermione. You'll just have to find out for yourself." What did he mean? What was it that Harry had done? It seemed futile thinking about it – it was making her head spin. But every time she tried to forget it, Harry's emerald eyes kept slipping back into her head. Concentrate, Hermione, she told herself sternly, you'll never figure it out if you can't get Harry out of your head.

Hermione jumped off her bed and picked up a Charms book. She flicked through it, but the words were just blurred in front of her face. She could see something different now. When she had changed James' eyes back – she had been looking into his eyes – no, Harry's eyes …

Hermione sighed. There was no way she could do anything constructive whilst she was like this. She closed her Charms book and placed it back in her trunk. Might as well get some sleep, she thought, I suppose Harry'll be training tomorrow morning. She wondered for a moment where that thought had come from, but then remembered that Harry had been her friend for seven years – she was bound to remember simple things like that. Harry was her friend…

*

Peter fell back against the wall. This had to be a trick; it had to be. Of course it was.

    'Nice try, Harry,' he said, sneering slightly. 'But I always remember James being my age.' Harry said nothing. James stared at Peter for a moment. Peter could feel those blue eyes penetrating him. 'No,' he repeated. 'You're dead!' James removed his cloak, and stepped away from Peter.

    'Dear me, Peter, where did you go wrong?' he said. There was more pity in his voice than anger.

    'Shut up,' Peter replied. 'James is dead. You're an impostor.'

    'Of course I am, Peter, except –' He suddenly stepped closer to Peter, who recoiled. He drew back his sleeve, and showed Peter a mark on his forearm. Peter screamed again.

    'The Marauder's Mark,' he said softly.

    'I'm dead,' said James simply. 'Fair enough. You betrayed me.' Peter couldn't look James in the eye. 'But this is not who I am. This is who I was.' He pulled the time-turner from around his neck.

    'A time-turner,' he said softly. 'That's how I'm here. Where was I about twelve hours ago? Helping you master the Iris Solution.' Peter couldn't stand the bitterness and disappointment in his voice. It was boring into him like a drill.

    'James, I –'

    'You joined Voldemort and allowed him to kill Lily and me. And if it weren't for Lily, Harry would be dead, too. What happened to you, Peter? You were such a good friend. But you betrayed us, Peter. Look at me!' Peter could hardly believe that a seventeen-year old version of his former and dead best friend was ordering him around, but he couldn't put up any resistance. He looked into James' eyes. There was disgust in those eyes …

    'You betrayed us all. Me, Lily, Harry, Remus, Dumbledore. But most of all, Peter, you betrayed Sirius. Sirius. How many times in school did you proudly say that James Potter and Sirius Black were your best friends? And what did you do?' James was now talking in barely a whisper, but he knew that both Harry and Peter could hear every word. 'You killed one friend and framed the other for his murder. How could you do that, Peter? Did Voldemort teach you that it was the right way of life? You know that that's not true, Peter. I know that you know that. And do you want to know why?

    'Why?' asked Peter nervously.

    'Because of Jenny, that's why,' said James furiously. 'I thought you'd never forget that day …'

***

   

    'Calm down, Peter,' said Sirius impatiently from the corner, where he was beating Remus in a game of chess. 'I'm sure she's fine.'

    'I just want to know why she hasn't written,' said Peter impatiently. 'She ought to have written back by now.'

    'Patience,' said Remus simply, moving one of his chess pieces.

    'Checkmate,' said Sirius, grinning. 'What were you saying? Patience?' Remus grinned.

    'Right, that's six-nil to you. Hmm – best of thirteen.'

    'Nice try, Lupin. You now owe me six Butterbeers. Unless you'd like to go double or quits on one last game?' Remus nodded.

    'Looks like twelve Butterbeers to Sirius,' said James lazily from the corner. Lily was asleep across his chest, and he was absent-mindedly stroking her hair.

    'Oi,' said Remus, in a mock-affronted voice. 'No comments from you, lover boy.'

    'Yes,' said Lily sleepily from the couch. 'Lover-girl needs attention.'

    'Oh, get a room,' said Sirius, grinning.

    'We should do what the man says,' said James, laughing. 'Hmm … girls' dorm or boys' dorm?'

    'Oh no,' said Sirius suddenly. 'I've had enough of walking in on you two.' He shuddered. 'Go someone where nobody ever goes; where it's deserted.'

    'The library?' Remus suggested.

    'I'm going back to sleep,' said Lily. 'Too tired to think. Oi. Stop that!' James was nuzzling her neck.

    'Sorry,' he said, grinning. 'Hmm, how about doing this instead?' (a/n Tarik! You are coming nowhere near this next sentence; do you hear me?) He pulled down and kissed her on the lips for about twenty seconds. When he pulled back, Lily looked completely dazed.

    'Young love,' said Remus, raising his eyebrows in a typically adult gesture. He looked about to say something else, when there was a soft tap-tap on the window. They all whirled around, and gasped.

  

One of Voldemort's owls, jet black with a silver stripe across the face, was bobbing up and down outside the window. James saw Peter's face go the pallor of parchment.

    'No,' he said softly. 'No.' He opened the window, and wrenched the letter out of the owl's talons. He ripped it open feverishly, read it, and his face crumbled. He let out a sound that he wouldn't have thought himself capable of producing; half pain, half anger. He threw aside the letter and ran to the dormitories.

James picked up the letter gingerly. He read it, and felt another surge of hate towards Voldemort.

Pettigrew,

She's dead.

***

   

'I remember you telling us that night,' said James, his voice shaking slightly. 'That you would get revenge on Voldemort, no matter what the cost.' James bowed his head. Peter, who was close to tears, couldn't say a thing. The words got stuck in his throat. He just sat down on the bed, feeling utterly pathetic.

And he was. It had taken James coming forward in time for him to realise that. All those years ago – he'd made the wrong decision. He'd betrayed his only true friends – the only people who'd ever believed in him (Well, except maybe Dumbledore). The people who had helped him throughout his school life. The people who had encouraged him to believe in himself. And how had he paid them back? He sighed. Harry and James were talking in an undertone. It was incredible to look at them. They looked like identical twins. Peter sank lower in his chair. He could escape, but there would be no point. It would be futile. He couldn't go back to Voldemort without seeing James' bright blue eyes in his head again. He would go to Azkaban. That would make a lot of people happy – the Dementors, especially. But then another image entered Peter's mind. The Dark Lord. His threats. His power. Peter shuddered. This wasn't going to be easy. He would go back to the castle with James and Harry.

Or he might have done, if it hadn't have been for the interruption.

End. Or not. No, it really is the end. Ha! The ol' reviews section then, I suppose:

Fairyfly (Now yesterday, your review wasn't there when I went to upload part 3, and was there when I had finished. I tried to say thanks, but you'd gone. Rats.), Larissa Venuss (I think I made it quite difficult, myself, so congratulations on being clever enough to understand it. Same to the rest of you. Shame smiley faces don't come out on fanfic.net JJJJJ), Some girl (What an original pseudonym. *Cackles* More More More. I like. Cheers), Starlight (Hmm … why do I get a strange sense of foreboding when you say that?), Belle (You don't have long to wait), Anime Freak (So do I. Another good one is 'When Harry met Lily', by Little Witch. That's time travel. Thanks.), The Frog (Interesting is right. Strange is most definitely right. Thanks), Lavander (James has a strange effect on me. He makes me write him as the World's Greatest Person. Still, he is modest really. He just likes to pretend he's big-headed), Chinook (You won't have long to wait, either. Love your fic. Thanks), VIHPF5 (You're far too kind. It's people like you that encourage me to write these at the speed of light. Thanks), Kelzery (Which bit with Hermione? Tell me which bit and I can tell you. She's having an emotional crisis at the moment *cackles*. Thanks), TOGI (Thank you very much!), Twilight and Silence (Hmm, a cunning hint? 'Stop the story Sirius, it's utter rubbish!' I'm not really cut out for this type of writing. That's what makes it fun. Cheers), illusions2525 (By the time you read this, you'll know. How convenient. Thanks), HGW (That's actually quite important … you'll see. Thanks), gumdrop (Ah, my good old pal gumdrop. Wie geht's? Hmm ... no, I don't hate Peter as much as anyone else. I think that (in the HP books) he will go back to the goodies by saving Harry's life, or summat. Glad to hear you're curious), Sarah J (Thanks a lot. You're a star.), Lavender (I did it. Four parts four days. Now we're looking for five in five) Zybenkizzashanta (What a pseudonym! I will keep it up, with people like you reviewing), Lizzy-poo (Another great pseudonym. Yes, people seem to enjoy using the word 'more' in these reviews.) Mladybug3 (Ah! Another marvellous friend of the reviewing variety. Can't do the McGonagall bit. James is Neville; remember. I wonder if I should tell Dumbledore. Thanks), someone2 (Last but by no means least. Thanks a lot. I'm going as fast as I can)

This is getting longer (Hooray!), this list. You're all trying to give me a big head. Never! Excellent and marvellous. Pray for part five tomorrow and it may just come (how long can I keep it up?) Love you all, people (Specially you, Housey)

Ciao