Sleeping Panny – Losing Hope
[Author's Notes: It's been a while since the last Sleeping Panny update, and the scary part of that is that I actually took that long to write this part. Of course, I did take breaks in between, and for those who care, I'm struggling on an epilogue for If That's What It Takes. This chapter must have induced the ugliest writer's block I've had in a while, so I would appreciate it immensely if you would comment. Thanks. Oh yes, and it's not just you, the chapter titles are getting stupider.]
It was night-- a warm, dry night with little wind. Where am I? The stars were faint, and though there were no clouds in this night, there was little to see in the sky. A grand castle lay ahead, the sort everyone wishes they could live in someday, brightly lit. Limousines and horse drawn carriages formed a great line before the entrance. What's happening? Beautiful damsels strutted up the stairs daintily, dressed in their most extravagant gowns and drenched in powder and perfume. Not much different from living, breathing Barbie Dolls, thousands of maidens ushered through the open palace doors, glittering as though they had stolen the stars from the empty night sky.
Pan felt herself floating through the air, above it all, as if she were an angel looking down upon the world as it was now. Curious to see what was going on, she, too, drifted past the open doors and marveled at the beauty of the grand hallway. A ball? She watched in awe as girls in billowing dresses slid gracefully across the floor, while sparkling crystal chandeliers illuminated the room from above. As her dreamy gaze wandered through the room, her eyes rested upon the figure that shuffled from guest to guest, bowing politely and going on his way. A prince! Curiosity overwhelmed her apprehension and she crept closer to sneak a peek at the first-- and probably last real prince she'd ever see.
Tranquil blue eyes stared out from under lavender locks, and a look of pure boredom filled his shrouded gaze. She giggled at the thought, and all of her childhood dreams didn't seem as faded as she thought. He was the prince she'd always imagined, the one who would rescue her from her prison and sweep her off of her feet. Who would fall in love with her at first sight; the prince she would live happily ever after with. With those thoughts came bitterness, she knew somewhere inside that this dream would never last. Her thoughts where interrupted when he froze, still amidst an ocean of dancers. Following his gaze, she saw a girl much unlike all of the others. She was on the short side, with slender limbs cloaked in a flowing white gown that looked suspiciously like a wedding dress. Auburn tresses framed her glowing face, falling down her back. And it wasn't that she was more beautiful than the rest, there was just something unnatural about her, something no man could resist.
Jealousy coursed through her veins as she watched the emotions flicker through her prince's eyes. Silently, Pan cursed herself for feeling so attached to him, and told herself it was only a matter of time before his girlfriend showed up. Wistfully, she watched as he waltzed to her side, and as she was about to turn away, something caught her eye. Purple smoke slowly engulfed him, an unnatural purple glow that shone brightest in the girl's unblinking eyes. Slowly, the smoke tightened around his body, and though it was sucking from him his life, his soul, he didn't notice. He saw only her. An enchantment?
And that's when reality came back to her, her own harsh reality. There was nothing she could do. Pan was a Son, and a warrior at heart. And more than anything, she hated to be helpless. More than anything. "I'll save you," she cried out, launching herself toward the unseeing prince, "I promise."
~ losing hope
Pan gazed on in fury as the chestnut-haired girl dragged her prince onto the dance floor and buried herself into his arms, never releasing her eerie gaze. As the purple smoke spread, his actions grew clumsier, and with every new failure, Pan was running out of ideas. She had attempted to drag him away from the evil girl's clutches, she had failed in waking him from his restless slumber, and she had yet to succeed in making the girl look away. Her forks had sailed straight and true, only to go right through their target, and no matter how many glasses she broke on his head, no one looked up.
Finally, she hurled herself against him, clinging with all her might, and begged him to wake. She knew that he wasn't dead, that he was still in there, and that if she tried hard enough, she could reach him. But as she fell back onto the floor, she could see no change in his emotionless stare. As she stood to propel herself against him once more, the world faded around her, and in the corner of her eye, she watched as the prince fell to his knees. She had failed. And though she had never seen this man before, though she had never spoken to him, or heard the sound of his voice-- though she never even knew his name, her heart ached for his, and she could feel the tears springing to her eyes.
Son Pan doesn't fail, she thought to herself miserably, and as she was drawn back into the gloomy darkness, there was something different about her. She, who had sustained herself for so long, she, who had always dreamt of the day things would be different . . . she, who had fought so tirelessly, she, who had promised her friends and her family that she would never give up . . . she was losing hope.