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Crossovers From Hell (and How to Cope With Them) Chapter 2: The Insanity Increases! Notes: Lord, I've done it again...More Aeris and Cloud bashing, extreme violence and MORE FUN WORDS FROM CID!!! [*sigh* Like before, the crew is still lost. Cloud and Aeris have been brought back to life by the author (For some ungoddessly reason). And they've gotten out of the forest. They find themselves in a quaint, suberb-like city.] Yuffie: Where the @#$% are we? Cid: Don't @%^in' well steal my %$#%^in' lines, %^@#$ kids!! [Yuffie sticks her tongue out at him.] Tifa: Well, now what do we do? Red XII: How about we walk around for a while? Cloud: Can we look like tourists? Everyone except Cloud (and Aeris, who thinks it's a great idea): [facefault] CLOUD!! Cat Sith: [points his megaphone in Cloud's ear and yells] STOP BEING A MORON!!! Sephiroth: [to himself] I could kill them now...get it over with...btu no...Author-girl said keep them alive...Damn her! Author: [scowls] I only keep you alive because I think you're cute, so watch it.. [Suddenly, a 'Creature From the Black Lagoon' lookalike runs over Aeris. The thing checks its foot like it stepped in dog poop, then looks distugted.] Tifa: [slaps Cloud] No, incompetant. It's not a ducky. Creature: [whining] You gotta help me! Those girls--they're gonna KILL me!! [The creature grabs onto Sephiroth's jacket. Seph looks pitifully at the others.] Yuffie: What girls? who's gonna kill you? Voice from the distance: I think he went that way! Creature: [hides behind Sephiroth and Vincent (who, for some strange reason always stand next to each other...) and begins to cry] WHHAAHH!!! SAVE ME!! [Six girls run up to the group, dressed in strange costumes] Girl 1: Sailor Moon, I think these guys are hiding the creature! S. Moon: You're right, Sailor Mercury! Step away from the monster! Tifa: [glares at the author] you've gotta be kidding... [The author smiles evilly and shakes her head.] S. Mars: Step away, or we'll be forced to take you on too! Vincent: [sighs] Listen lady, we just took on a bunch of annoying kids. We just want to go home... S. venus: You can go home as soon as we detroy that monster! S. Jupiter: It's part of the Enemy!! Cloud: [scoots over to Sailor Venus] You know, I know this great Italian restaurant... [Venus high-kicks Cloud.] Cloud: [swirly-eyes look] Wowie...I taste blood... S. Moon: Come on Chibi Moon, let's vanquish--[looks around] Chibi Moon? Where'd she go?? [Everyone turns to see Red XIII, as he swallows a puff of pink hair.] Red XIII: [burps] Pardon. Yummy. Cid: You ate a $%@%in' girl!!!!!! Cat Sith: Now I think he has a taste for human blood... S. Jupiter: [oblivious to the death of Rini, she looks at Tifa] Hey, you might make a good Sailor Scout... [The author waves her hand over her magic keyboard, and Tifa is now wearing a Sailor fuku.] Cid: QUIT @#$IN' STEALIN' MY ^%@#@% &#$# $%& $^&$&$ ... ... ... ... ... @#^%IN' WORDS!!!!!!!!!! S. Mercury: Enough of this! MERCURY BUBBLES BLAST!! [Cat Sith is hit by the bubbles.] Cat Sith: [giggles like a schoolgirl] Stop! That tickles!! Hee hee! S. Mercury: [tearing up] It's...supposed...to--to...hurt...!! Sephiroth: [laughs] You think bubbles are gonna hurt someone?! Luna: [pops up from nowhere] Scouts! Hurry up already! I'm missing Springer!! Red XIII: [licks his chomps] Here kitty, kitty, kitty... [Luna runs for her life, chased by a hungry Red.] Cloud: [regains some consiousness] Ooh..preeeeeetty duckies... [S. Moon stabs him with her sceptor for no apparant reason.] Sephiroth: Oh, the hell with this! [He chants some garbage. Suddenly, a meteor falls from space, smashing all the Sailor Scouts into paste.] Vincent: Well, that about wraps things up. [Red returns to the scene, smiling and slurping up the last of a black tail.] Cid: And I @#$in' think that does wrap up everything. Tifa: Not quite. I'm still in this dumb costume! Sephiroth: Actually, I think it's kinda cute on you. Vincent: [glares at the author] A-hem... Author: Jeez...no fun at all... [She changes Tifa back to her regular clothes. Sephiroth pouts and Vincent fumes.] Aeris: [watches the still-steaming meteor] Well, now what do we do? Yuffie: [points to the creature] We could kill that. [Everyone jumps it and tears it to shreads.] Cid: [dusts himself off] That was @#%^#[email protected]#$in' fun... Red: Aeris is still alive. [The others gasp and turn to Aeris.] Vincent: Lord, could it be she actually survived? Author: Not likely vampy... [A huge stone with the words 'THE END' on it falls on Aeris.] Sephiroth: [growls at the author] How...convienent.... [There is a flash of smoke. When it clears, Sephiroth is wearing a gray Sailor fuku.] Sephiroth: What the--??!! [He turns a dark shade of crimson as everyone laughs. Vincent raises an eyebrow curiously.] Yuffie: Let's get outta here before Cloud wakes up. Cloud: [mumbling unconsiously] Duckies good...Author bad...make Cloud die...I'm the hero... [Everyone walks away from the scene, leaving the unconsious Cloud, the meteor, the rock of plot contrivances, and the leftover bits of the creature behind.] A/N: Yes, I am aware this chapter sucks. No, I'm not on drugs--if I was, this probably would've worked out better. I swear, Chapter 3 will be better. No Sailor Scout fans whining at me please, I actually like the show. I just thought it was a funny idea. And if you didn't get my subtle hints, I'm thinking of doing a Vincent x Sephiroth fic. What about it? ~Karuri-chan (will ahng herself now for bad writing) |
Crossovers Fom Hell (and How to Cope With Them)
By: Karu Leonnese