Heh...lookit me. I'm jumping on every bandwagon I see ^_^ Right then...this is my personal thoughts as to what a relationship between Gaz and Zim might be like. The cast doesn't belong to me and is property of Jhonen Vasquez and the producers of Nickelodeon (meaning that this is where I give credit where its due and admit that I'm too pathetic to think up my own characters so I'm sponging off of these guys) This is the first part of many that I hope to post and i hope people enjoy it. I did my best to stay "in-character" for the cast. And....hey what're you reading MY yapping for? Story's down there! :D
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Of all the rotten luck...Gaz stormed down the street, a cartridge clutched in her fingers. That was the absolute last time she sat next to that freaky green kid on the bus.
Truthfully, she didn't know what had possessed her to sit herself next to him in the first place, other than the fact she knew her brother would have a conniption when he saw....however, once the novelty of Dib's mindless screaming and ordering her to "get away from the alien" had worn off, she had returned to the welcome bask of her Game Slave.
Ten minutes or so into the bus trip, she had moved to exchange games, retrieving another from the pouch of her backpack, and as the title screen warmed up, tossing the previous one into what she thought had been the back pocket, but apparently had been Zim's knapsack. The blasted bus must have shifted its contents as they had turned corners and such. When the driver had reached her stop, Gaz made a quick snatch for one last game to play on the walk home...preferably a loud one that would drown out her brother's impending lecture.
"Move it." she commanded Zim with tight-lipped hatred. The boy had goggled up at her a moment and then obediently slid out of the seat to allow her to pass as she grabbed up her backpack and slung it over one shoulder, sidling down the isleway. Dib had already begun his berating her before they had even made it to the door.
"Are you insane, Gaz?? He's dangerous!! You have no idea what he's capable of!!" and so on...and so on. After years of her brother's wild accusations and rants, she had learned to drown it into a dull annoying buzz in the back of her head as she slid the game into the slot in the back of her Game Slave with an accepting click and hit the power switch. Instead of the typical game logo warming her screen, however, several lines of incomprehensible gibberish had appeared, along with a small pop and a hiss in the back of the portable game system. She had gasped and dropped it on the sidewalk with a clatter as ribbons of smoke began to curl out of the casing, and then with no warning whatsoever, it had burst into a kamikaze ball of flames.
After Dib's demanding that she tell him what had happened, and she had silenced him with a brisk elbow in the ribs, Gaz gathered the sad remnants of her Game Slave, watching as the last few flames retreated back into the case and slowly died, leaving only the acrid smell of melting plastic and destroyed circuits. "My.....game....slave....." she growled through tightly clenched teeth. Her eerily calm and disinterested demeanor was quickly shifting into unbridled rage. Dib, realizing that his attempts to calm her would be futile, and his attempts to survive would be even MORE futile if he stayed around, hurriedly scampered in the direction of home, not looking back and certainly not slowing down.
Gaz turned the ruined Game Slave over in her hands, wrenching the game out of the back slot and examining it, only to find that it wasn't a game at all....a cartridge, yes, but not a game. "Zim..." she snarled. "He. Will. DIE!" her last word echoed off of the street, providing eerie acoustics as she rose to her feet and began in the direction of the green kid's house. She knew where he lived, only because Dib had made it a point to scream obscenities and vows of vengeance at it every time they passed it. What a moron he was....there was no such thing as aliens. Just stupid weird kids with no ears and green skin that broke her video game players.
She squeezed the faulty cartridge in her hand, wishing she possessed the strength to crush it between her fingers. "I mean, what kind of complete dweeb designs a video game that ruins a Game Slave??" she asked no one in particular as she stormed down the sidewalk, her shoes clacking noisily on the pavement. Her destination was in plain view now, but then she could see the unnerving stare of the gnomes lining the walkway to the small dwelling from some half a mile off. Imbedded in the lawn were a couple of gaudy flamingos and a flag reading "I "heart" Earth" boldly. Gaz was not one to find much unsettling, but even she had to admit that the environment surrounding Zim's home was somewhat...well....spooky. "His parents must be even dorkier than HE is." she thought to herself bitterly.
But there were more important things to worry about....like wringing Zim's neck, for one. She started up the walkway, hands clenched at her sides, her mind producing colorful images of the torture she would design for Zim if he gave her any crap about replacing the Game Slave. He owed her at LEAST that much.
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"Hideous Earth scum...." Zim grumbled, gingerly removing the membranous lenses from his eyes that hid their natural red-hazed color and tore the raven-haired wig from his head, allowing his scalp to feel the air for the first time that day. There, that was better.....his antennae perked upward, stretching themselves out from the cramped position they had been in for the past eight hours. Around him, the latest computers in irken technology hummed softly, confirming that everything in his base beneath the house was online and in perfect working order. It had been a typical day, all-in-all, he supposed. Gir had awakened him with a cheery smile and a plate of black smoking filth which had once been an omlette, according to the robot.
At skool, the learning unit, Ms. Bitters, had gone about her lessons as usual, beginning her tirade with a brief explanation of events known as the "World Wars". It reminded Zim of a movie that had been intercepted on its way to the planet Arrellia for Irk's entertainment when he had been younger...not four days out of his amniotic cylinder. He had remembered, even then, cackling with the other Irken troops at how poorly done the portrayal of battle had been. The explanation, however, had trit-trotted off into a rant about how World War Three would mark the end of mankind's existance as it was known to all. p
The rest of the day, he had tuned her out as she went into her pleasant nirvana of doom. He guessed that the ancient human obsessed herself so much with destruction and death because she wished for it on herself. He couldn't blame her, he supposed. If he was older than sand, he'd wish for a little doom himself. At lunch, as he had sat alone at his usual table and tried to decipher the slop on his styrafoam plate which the earthlings were attempting to pass off as food, there had been another confrontation with Dib. That horrid earth boy was more than beginning to annoy him with his constant attempts to unmask him in front of everyone. "What's the matter, ZIM?" the boy's hysterical nasal voice resounded through his head. "Haven't you ever seen mashed potatos before? Or maybe you'd rather feast on some juicy succulent BRAINS!!!"
The irken had been gratified when several people had stopped eating and glared at Dib, making him realize that he was making a public spectacle of himself and quietly retreating. The earthlings, as of yet, hadn't proved any real threat to his mission but still....rrgh, he wished he could just stomp on them all until nothing remained but a thick smelly red goo. And then he would laugh. He would laugh till it hurt, and for some variety, he'd laugh some more.
However, all he wanted to do now, was simply relax and, as he always did, reflect on the events of the day and see if he hadn't uncovered yet another means to weakening the earthlings' hold on their defenses. Heaving a small sigh, the alien meandered across the floor, approaching a large white-masked tube and began to disrobe, carefully setting aside his outfit with his gloves and boots neatly on top of it. Irkens didn't sweat...nor did their bodies give off any sort of odor so his clothes, provided he was careful about spilling things on them, could be worn as many times as he liked without offending anyone. Yet another advantage he had over the earthlings, he had thought to himself smugly.
Still, in his training program on Irk, he had gotten into the habit of regularly cleansing himself. "Grooming is important for any potential invader" his training manual had said. It never said WHY, of course, but who was he to question The Tallest? Fully unclothed, Zim approached a small keypad and quickly keyed in a series of buttons. The keypad made a furious grinding sound, processing the information, before giving an accepting beep as the tube opened at the base, allowing the irken to step inside. As the door hissed shut behind him, the cavity he stood in began to fill with a thick blue jelly, warm to the touch and smelling faintly of floor cleaner.
Zim closed his eyes, allowing the fluid to overtake him, enveloping his body and drawing in a deep breath just as it covered his face. He felt himself leave the floor of the tube and become suspended in midair. It would be about two minutes before the gel would drain, but he wasn't worried...after all, an irken's Gheesroflex had twice the air capacity of the human lungs and he could comfortably hold his breath for up to five minutes if need be. World conquest....mmm, it was so near he could taste it. He could almost hear the earthlings crying for mercy as their civilization was crushed and his name rang out forever in irken glory. "ALL HAIL ZIM!!! ALL HAIL---
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"---ZIM!!" Gaz roared at the closed door. She had begun by politely knocking. When that hadn't worked, she had resorted to pounding with her fists. "I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!!!!" She wheeled back, giving the door a kick and drawing in her breath in a pained hiss as her shin exploded in pain. "Mmph, dammit!" she cursed under her breath, kneeling to examine herself. Not too bad...just a bruise.
Alright if he wouldn't answer the door, she would resort to a different tactic...annoying him. A small sadistic smirk playing about her mouth, Gaz reached for the doorbell and pressed it. The human mind could only take so much of a doorbell before they'd either break down and answer the door or make a rudimentary noose out of dental floss and attempt to hang themselves from the nearest coat hook. Either was fine with Gaz at the moment as she moved to press it again. However, she never got the chance as the door swung open, a stringy-looking man with blank eyes and what appeared to be sparks coming out of his armpits appearing in the doorway.
"Welcome to our residence, visitor!" he stated in a tinny voice that sounded like a bad recording of a father figure off of a sitcom. Zim had done a bit of modifications on his faux parental units so that they no longer greeted anyone who came to the door as their "son". Gaz stood, cold and unimpressed as she cast her slitted eyes at the father bot.
"Is Zim home?" she asked flatly. Instead of answering, the father bot turned in time for the mother bot to broadside him, creating a flurry of blue and white sparks. She was covered in what appeared to be eggs, a healthy dollop of squeezy cheese on her head.
"I'm afraid our little boy's in the shower right now." she stated in a chirpy, all-too-false voice. Gaz stared at them spitefully. She was right. They WERE weirder than Zim. She didn't know how it was possible, but they were. "My aren't you a cute little thing!" the mother bot chirped, extending a yellow-gloved hand as though to pinch Gaz's cheeks. "Just try it, Lady..." Gaz thought to herself menacingly.
"Well why don'tcha come in and sit fer a spell, pardner?" Zim's "dad" offered, doing what Gaz guessed was an incredibly lame John Wayne impersonation. Gaz gave a long, defeated sigh, slapping her forehead. For putting her through this, Zim had just earned himself a thorough beating as soon as his parents weren't looking. She walked soundlessly past them and into the house, sparing a quick look around.
"Who's your decorator? Bozo the clown?" she muttered under her breath, her eyes settling on the horrifically large portrait of a yellow monkey hung above the couch.
"Want a drink, hon?" Zim's "mom" offered, zipping toward her with a can of Purple Fizzy. As she popped the tab, Gaz suddenly found herself covered in the tingling sticky liquid, sputtering angrily.
"This was my favorite shirt!" she spat, glaring at the purple stain that married the black fabric and white skull on the front.
"Aww...club soda'll get that stain right out!!" "Mom" declared, the unnerving grin never leaving her face as she raced backwards in a random direction, colliding loudly with the wall. As Gaz watched, "Mom" moved no more.
"Hey! Wanna see a trick??" "Dad" inquired excitedly as he seized Gaz's shoulder and jerked her in his direction. "Nothing up my sleeves, and PRESTO!!!" the robot darted his arm out, grabbing ahold of Gaz's ear and tugging on it fervently.
"Oww, let go! Let go, you freak!!" she cried, trying to wrench his hand away.
"GIMME THE QUARTER!!! GIMME THE FREAKIN' QUARTER, CHARLIE!!!!" the Father bot shrieked, flailing his other arm wildly. As the spectacle took place, no one seemed to notice as a small green body surfaced nearby out of what appeared to be a very oddly-placed toilet beside the refridgerator. Zim had been alerted to the fact, as he had climbed out of his bath, that an intruder was in his home and was now coming to investigate, having hastily thrown on some clothing.
He was betting Sqeeklars to Hudds that it was Dib again, and this time he hadn't even bothered with his disguise. Dib wanted an alien...fine. He'd give him an alien...in all of his red-eyed, antennaed glory. Maybe if he made a threat of laying eggs in his chest or some other such nonsense the humans had invented to portray foreign races in their poor excuses for entertainment, the earth boy would finally leave him in peace.
However, he wasn't prepared for the utter chaos that unraveled before his eyes as he surfaced from his transport unit. The father bot was busily torturing someone...a squealing someone. Zim gritted his teeth in frustration. "Why me???" he mentally screamed, running forth to break things up.
"Stop that!!" he cried, wriggling between the two of them and giving "Dad" a shove backwards.
"Now you just calm down, mister, or someone's fixin' to get a time out!" the robot grated, lunging forward again. Zim strained, groaning and not sure he'd be able to hold it back for much longer. Much to his relief, not to mention dismay, the father bot zipped backwards on his single transportational wheel and had managed to slam into the hall coat closet, locking the door behind himself. Disaster averted, Zim attended to the next order of business...the intruder.
"You pustule of waste, how dare you invade the home of Zim??" he roared as the human turned its head, squinting at him through heavily shaded eyes. Instantly, Zim recognized her. Gaz....Dib's little sister. What in the name of Irk was SHE doing here?
"Zim? Is that you?" she asked, her voice sounding a bit meek. Zim, despite the fact he was attempting to keep a hateful demeanor felt a pang of pity for the frightened girl.
"Err...yes?" he replied.
"Good." Saying so, she seized the collar of his shirt and yanked him close until they were touching noses.......if Zim had a nose, of course. "Hold still so I can destroy you."
"What're you talking about?" Zim growled, slapping her hands away and backing away a few steps. If Dib was bad, Gaz was ten times worse. He had been especially careful not to trifle with her until he had the proper means of doing so. In this stage of his research, he was still vulnerable...especially if a cretin like Dib could constantly best him in his ignorance of Earth's substances and customs.
"I'm talking about my Game Slave. You broke it. I. WANT. A NEW ONE." Amazingly, she had been able to keep ahold of the cartridge that had ruined her portable video game system and hurled it at Zim. It struck him harmlessly in the chest as he caught it, eyeing it a moment. He recognized it almost immediately and snarled at her, annoyed that something as dangerous as this had come into her hands. She must have obtained it from him when they were riding on that "cheese box" as he had heard its driver call it.
"HA! This is no mere 'video game'! This is an Irken implosive chip, you foolish earthling!!!" Zim, immediately after the words left his lips, realized his mistake....and remembered that he had left his contact lenses and wig downstairs. He was standing before Gaz fully revealed with nothing but his wit to protect himself...
....in other words, he was doomed.
"WHAT did you call me?" She asked, quirking a brow.
"Nothing. I said nothing." he replied quickly, backing away.
"And what's with the costume? Halloween's not till next month." she grumbled, extending a finger and poking at one of Zim's red eyes. She was startled to find it tender and moist beneath her touch, and not the cold plastic goggle lens she had thought it to be.
"My eye!! AKK!! It huuurrtttss!!" he wailed, slapping both of his spidery hands protectively over his hurt eyeball. Gaz blinked, stunned. "Wicked girl-beast!!" he hissed, turning away from her.
"That's your eye?" she asked, still somewhat doubtful. Any minute now, he'd turn on her and laugh hysterically at her for buying his stupid prank. But then he'd not be laughing for very long as he found his head firmly lodged in the ceiling...so it really made no difference to her.
"What did you think it was, you ignorant human??" he snapped, wincing slightly and rubbing at the corner of it. "Mmnnhh...oww..."
"Then Dib ISN'T crazy..." Gaz stated, eyes wide and mouth hanging slightly agape.
"That's entirely debatable" Zim snorted, crossing his arms and twitching his antennae irately.
"What are you?" She asked, reaching out and inquisitively touching the side of the irken's head.
"A science experiment if word of this gets out..." he replied bitterly, visions of himself on a dissecting table, looking down in horror at his own array of organs filling his head. "But you being the spawn of that oilbag Doctor Membrane, I suppose that its inevitable."
"What makes you think I'd tell dad? I could come into the house with my brains hanging off my face and he wouldn't even notice." she stated coldly, giving one of Zim's antennae a pull to confirm that it was real.
"Oww!! Foul earth monster!!" he squealed, bearing his teeth at her.
"Or maybe I SHOULD tell dad." she grumbled, taking offense at the invader's remark.
"Feh...you can't stop me! None of you can!!!" he declared. Gaz regarded him coolly as he did so.
"Am I supposed to be impressed?" she spat, crossing her arms over her chest. Zim's confident expression slipped a notch. It still puzzled him as to why his tactics for intimidation seemed to have no effect on anyone at all on both Irk and Earth.
"Oh you will be." he vowed, pointing a spindly finger at her. "And someday all will bow to Zim! All you EARTH-ians and your pathetic ice cream trucks of sustinence will be destroyed forever!!!! AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
"Right." she snorted, shaking her head skeptically. "I've coughed up scarier stuff than that."
"Woo hoo! Visitor!!" a high-pitched voice declared. Gaz looked up to see what looked to be a bipedal mishapen dog scampering into the room. Her aura of hatred was momentarily lost to surprise as the strange being cuddled up to her leg, cooing and hugging it.
"Gir, attack!" Zim ordered.
"Yes, my master!" Gir replied in a violent robotic voice, giving a stiff salute and then lunging at Gaz, knocking her flat on her back.
"GAH!!!" she shrieked as she collided with the floor.
"I like yooouuuu." Gir grinned at her, the robotic malice gone from his voice and the dog hood folded back to show his robotic features. "Whatcha doin' on the floor?"
"Nrrrggghhh...." Zim growled, slapping his forehead. "Gir, you were SUPPOSED to attack---nevermind." his voice trailed off in frustrated disgust.
"Wanna pretend we're dust bunnies??" Gir inquired hopefully.
"If you want to keep your limbs, you will get off of me....NOW!" Gaz snapped, shoving the robotic unit off of her chest. "Look," she spoke, her attention on Zim once again. "Get real. Pretending to be a kid isn't going to work forever."
"And why not, you vile receptical of all that is..." he paused, thinking of another insulting adjective "...vile?" he retorted. "My disguise is flawless."
"That's not a disguise, you idiot." Gaz snapped. "Only reason you're getting away with it is because the kids in my brother's class are so brainwashed by that crone teaching it that the only thing they hear anymore is the recess bell. And if my moron brother can see through it, anybody else can."
"That's not true." Zim snarled, stamping one foot. "It had YOU fooled, did it not??" He supposed he really ought to have been puzzled as to why she wasn't frightened by the fact that he was an alien and instead was speaking to him as though it was no big deal in her book.
"You actually think I waste as much time looking at you as my idiot brother does? There's more important things in life." she muttered, rolling her eyes. She was referring, of course, to her Game Slave and all of the games at home that she had yet to beat her standard ninety-seven times.
"Paugh....remove yourself, human." Zim growled, making a dismissing motion with his hand. "I have no time for this!"
"Alright." she growled, heading for the door. "I'm going." she turned the knob and paused in the threshold of the door. "See you at school tomorrow WITH my new Game Slave, ibZim/b/i." she placed extra loathing emphasis on his name as she slammed the door. Zim breathed a sigh of relief, glad that his home was his own again.
"She's nice." Gir grinned, looking up from where he was rolling in a pile of spilled popcorn on the floor that had been upset during Gaz's struggle with the parental bots from where it had been sitting on the couch.
"Nice?? Gir, our mission is to wipe the humans OUT! Not befriend them! They most certainly are NOT nice!!!!" the irken ranted. Gir blinked blankly in reply.
"Caterpillars are nummy." the robot stated matter-of-factly. "They dance ALL the way down."
"This is serious, Gir!!" Zim shouted. "She knows. She knows about us, and if she tells anyone else, our mission is ruined!! My defenses were down but never again! Zim is only gotten the better of once!!! We need to be very careful around this "Gaz" person from now on. Do you understand?"
"Can we get Freezies for dinner?" Gir asked hopefully, having ignored everything Zim had just said. Zim felt his eye twitch with utter disgust at the pint-sized robot.
"Just...just forget it. Forget I said ANYTHING!!!" Zim growled. Gir assumed a stiff saluting posture, his eyes shifting to a deep red.
"I obey, my master!!" he cried, racing out of the room squealing joyously. Zim shook his head. The Tallest had assured him that this robotic unit was the most advanced Irken technology available, and he was not one to disagree with them, but there were some times when he allowed himself his doubts.
Now then...this business with the earth girl. What could he do to placate her so that she kept her mouth shut about what she had seen? This "Game Slave" she spoke of...the tiny monitor she constantly paid hommage to every moment of the day. Perhaps if he obtained a new one of those, she would go back to turning her brains to ooze and allow him to go on his way with his mission. It was worth a try anyway...
"GIR!!!" he shouted as the robot tromped back into the living room, its dog hood back in place. "Come, Gir! We must make a visit to The Store before its too late!" Hurriedly placing a leash around his robot slave's neck, Zim bolted for the front door, remembering only as he stepped out onto the front porch that he still lacked his Earth disguise....and quietly, hoping no one had seen him, retreated back into his dwelling.
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"And furthermore, you have no idea what you're up against!!" Dib stated, pacing back and forth in front of his sister as she perched on the couch, attempting to play her copy of Kill & Kill Some More on the family's video game console. "What if he's carrying diseases, Gaz? Huh? You could be infected and not even know it!!"
"Are you STILL talking?" she sneered, her thumbs busily tapping buttons. Dib's amber eyes narrowed behind the lenses of his glasses. Why wasn't she seeing how idiotic she had been? Did he always have to point out people's errors to them?
"FINE!! Ahem....fine." he calmed himself. "Don't come crying to me when you melt into a pile of slime because you didn't listen." Dib straightened his trenchcoat slightly, trying to look important.
"When have I ever come crying to you about ANYTHING?" Gaz muttered, inwardly cursing as her player was struck by falling debris of the building he had just annihalated. Dib opened his mouth to retort and then fell silent again. "Thought so." she snapped. "Now get out of my light."
"We're not finished here, Gaz." he warned her. "Not until you promise me you won't go near that creature again!"
"Yeah, whatever, 'Mom'." she replied coldly. God, all she had done was sit next to him on the bus. It wasn't like they had been holding hands or anything. Gaz dared not mention her confrontation with Zim earlier, not because she feared what Dib would do to him, but because she couldn't stand the sound of her brother's voice anymore. The idea of finding a blunt needle and thread and sewing his lips together as he slept was becoming more and more appealing by the minute.
"Well alright then." he nodded firmly. "I can see that you see the error of your ways and I'm glad that we had this little chat because---"
"I'm giving you till the count of three....and when I look up you had BETTER be gone." Gaz interrupted. Dib blinked, and then soundlessly shuffled out of the room. Gaz could hear his footfall on the steps as he went up to his room and she shook her head. What an utter moron. Her thoughts returned to Zim. A real alien living right in her neighborhood and probably lighting the fuse to destroy the earth as she sat and played video games. Good, let him. At least he had guts, she had to give him that. That guy was even shorter than she was and hellbent on the fact that he was going to take over all of humanity.
"He'd better have my game slave tomorrow." she said to herself sourly as she completed the bonus stage and advanced to level three.
END OF PART 1 -- TBC