|
So Much Madness in One Chapter!! [Our heroes are once more in the land of Anime.] Tifa: Yeah. Thanks to Cait here. Cait Sith: Well, it's better than American Animation!! Cid: And to top it all off, we're back in the @$%@%^in' forest!! Yuffie: Well, we just have to get out before any anime characters find us. Aeris: [dreamy-eyed over Cloud] Isn't he cuuuuuuuute....? [They walk into someone's campsite.] Sephiroth: I wonder who's here...and if I could take 'em on... Vincent: [banging his head on a tree trunk repetitively] Life is a joke...*BANG!* I'm just the punchline...*BANG!* Life is a joke...*BANG!* I'm just the punchline...*BANG!* Life is a joke... Barret: Foo' wat you's tryin' to do- kill yoself?? Red XIII: What did he say now? Cloud: 'Fool, what are you trying to do- kill yourself?' [Aeris mysteriously disappears...not like anyone cares.] Author: Nowhere in particular... [Scene pans to Aeris, alone in an arctic tundra.] Aeris: H...hello? Anyone?? [Scene pans back to our group, as guy and a girl enter, with a little flying, glowing Super Ball following them.] Tifa: We're from the game Final Fantasy VII. Who are you? Guy: I'm Link, and this is Zelda. The fairy's name is Navi. Link: [takes Navi and punts him/her/it.] I SAID SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!! Zelda: Why are you in our camp? Barret: 'Cause we's lost!!! You's know where we is?? Link: You're in Hyrule (it's the only Zelda location I know...). Cid: Where in the name of @#%^ is that?! [A map flies down from the sky.] Sephiroth: [looks to the author] You didn't do that sooner, why? Author: [shrugs] Didn't feel like it. Vincent: Life is a joke...*BANG!* I'm just the punchline...*BANG!* Link: What's with your friend there? Tifa: [smiles] He's just a little scuicidal right now... Vincent: And I'll take all of you with me!! Sephiroth: That's nice. you just do that, okay? [He breaks a branch off the tree, which falls on Zelda, killing her.] Link: Damn you! What was that for?! Vincent: [points to Sephiroth] He said I could. [Link pulls out his sword. Cloud grabs his B.A.S. Tifa stops everyone.] Tifa: What's that buzzing noise? [Everyone listens as the buzzing grows louder.] Cloud: [pulls a beehive out of the brach on the ground] I think this is it. [Everyone hides. Cloud tosses the beehive in the air and catches it.] Cloud: What's with you guys? [The bees fly out of the hive and start to sting Cloud relentlessly.] Cloud: Owwie!! Mommy!!! Whaaaahh!!! [He dies from being deathly allergic to bee stings (kinda does that sometimes...). The bees then chase the rest of the group. Everyone jumps in a nearby lake, as the bees fly past them. The group trudges out of the water, sopping wet.] Link: You guys are dangerous! I'll have to kill you all now, before you hurt others! Sephiroth: Kid, don't bother. We've taken out plants tougher than you. [Link pulls out his sword. He rushes at Yuffie, who wasn't paying attention. Then, he trips and impales himself on his own sword.] Cid: [with his leg sticking out] Now how the @$#% d'ya think that happened? Navi: Hey! Look! Listen!! Cait: [traps Navi in his megaphone and does a Kefka laugh] This'll be fun...[yells into the megaphone] HEY!!! LOOK!!! LISTEN!!!! [Navi flies erratically out of Cait's megaphone, then falls to the ground.] Red XIII: Hey guys, check this out! [Everyone turns to see him juggling the empty beehive in his front paws. Then he misses the catch, and the hive hits Vincent and Sephiroth.] Sephiroth: Damn cat-thingey... [Then the two realize that there was a lot of honey in the hive, They walk away from each other, only to be flung back together by the sticky honey.] Tifa: If that isn't a couple hint, I don't know what is... Sephiroth: [casts a menacing stare at the author] This is your doing, isn't it? Author: [whistles innocently and smiles] I don't know what you mean... [The group starts back on their way, Vincent and Sephiroth still stuck together.] Not exactly one of the best chapters, but I got some VincentxSephy hints in. "This is where it turns into a hard-core lemon!" ~Xander (my bro) |
Crossovers Fom Hell (and How to Cope With Them)
By: Karu Leonnese