Kamatari
Due to the fight yesterday you had with
me about your gift for my birthday, I can say that you must be very eager to
please me. Well Yumi and I had a brief
discussion yesterday and she finally relented to give you part of her ten
secret wishes. She gave you three. What are secret wishes, you ask? Well, secret wishes are wishes you make to
the genie at the bottom of a well. The
wishes she have and you have now are wishes from the genie at the well behind
our house.
Just say these magic words for the genie
to come up:
Pilipala, the hallowed well goddess,
materialize before me!
Best regards,
Shishio-sama
Kamatari reread the whole letter over again
disbelievingly, then placed the letter on his desk, and walked out to the well
at the backyard of the house.
~*~
"Oi, Kamatari!" Chou knocked on the
door. There was no reply. "Kamatari?"
He knocked again.
When there was still no reply, he kicked
at the door angrily and yelled, "KAMATARI you gay fag OPEN UP!"
When that didn't work Chou decided to try
the door himself. Strangely it
opened. "Eh?"
He walked into Kamatari's room and
scanned over the items of the room. A
kimono casually tossed aside on a chair with a hakama and gi; his weapon, the
heavy sickle (izzat what's it's called?) with the black ball chained to it
leaned against the left wall; and a white letter on the desk.
Chou walked interestedly to the desk and
picked up the letter. He read it, both
eyes widened, and grinned devilishly.
~*~
Soujiro walked back to his room, and
bumped into Yumi on the way. "Hiya
Yumi-san." He said good-naturedly.
"Hmph." Yumi answered, seemingly
disgruntled about something.
"What is it?" Soujiro asked.
Yumi waved off the question, muttering,
"Nothing that concerns you. Bye." And
walked off in a fit.
"Eh?" Soujiro smiled puzzledly (you know,
when he doesn't know something but smiles anyways? He looks sooooo cyyyuuute like that!).
~*~
"I guess this is it." Kamatari looked at
the moss-covered well in front of him. He
braced in front of the well, took a deep breath, and said, "Pilipala, the
hallowed well goddess, materialize before me!"
A swirl of gold and silver stardust
twirled around the well and Kamatari, and he gasped as the stardust bunched
together to form a beautiful woman with deep lavender eyes, droplets of water
dotted her shimmering aquatic hair, and she had on a silky baby blue dress
trailing down below her shins.
Kamatari gaped at the well goddess, mouth
hitting the floor.
~*~
Chou elbowed another bush out of the way
as he spied on Kamatari.
"There he is," he murmured to himself as
he spotted Kamatari nearing a well.
Kamatari mumbled a few words and suddenly a tornado of shining dust
gathered and the most beautiful woman Chou had ever seen appeared in front of
Kamatari.
"I think I'm in love…"
~*~
"Hello, you have called me out?" the
goddess looked at Kamatari.
Kamatari could only nod.
"How many wishes do you have?"
"Um—er—" Kamatari thought for a
while. "Three."
"Three?" the goddess asked.
"Is there an echo in here?" Kamatari said
impatiently. "Yes I said three."
The goddess smiled, "Saucy aren't you,
little girl."
Kamatari colored. "I'm a guy."
The goddess did a double take, "Say what???"
Kamatari sighed, "Look let's just get to the wishes here,
k?"
"Oh yes sure." The goddess nodded
again. "As you know, I'm Pilipala, the
goddess of the well here, and I can grant you three wishes…so your first wish?"
"I want to have a female body." Kamatari
replied instantly.
~*~
Chou poked at his ear, did he hear
right? Girly-boy Kamatari was getting a
girl's body?
This is getting good…
~*~
Yumi suddenly stopped in her tracks to
her room. Waitaminnit, if girly-boy
gets three wishes the first thing I reckon he wants is a feminine body, then
Shishio, then to be better than Soujiro!
The first two I simply cannot allow! Especially the second!
She thought this all over and began by going first another
"victim" of Kamatari's wish-making: Soujiro Seta.
As she neared the boy's room, she banged on the door. "Open up, Soujiro!" she shouted.
The boy's head poked out from his door, "Yes Yumi-san?"
"Come with me, I need for you to take me to the well
behind our house immediately. And since
you're the fastest in the Juppon-Gattana, besides Henya, but he's a bit too
creepy, I need you take me there." Yumi commanded.
Soujiro walked out of his room and took a look up and down
Yumi. He used hand to measure his
height and then Yumi's height. She was
taller than him by a few inches. "That
might be a little hard since I've never carried anyone while I used that attack
and since you escape my height by a few inches…that means you might escape my
weight by a few pounds."
"Shaddup and get me there already!" Yumi clenched her
fists.
~*~
Chou looked behind him and gave the official Rurouni
Kenshin "ORO!" face when he saw Soujiro carrying Yumi in his arms approaching
at full-speed.
"Shhh! SHHHH!" he
screeched as quietly as he could as the duo reached the bush he was hiding in.
"Chou? What are
you doing he—" Yumi started, but was muffled halfway as Chou covered her mouth.
"You can go now Soujiro." Chou told the puzzled boy.
"If you say so, Chou-san." Soujiro began making his way
back to his room.
~*~
Kamatari heard the
goddess say, "Close your eyes." And the next thing he knew there was a whoosh
and he was lifted off his feet by golden sparkletts similar to the ones
that circled the goddess before. His
squinted thru his eyes at the goddess, she was waving her hands and chanting
something.
As Kamatari was lowered to the ground, he felt himself for
any specific changes (a/n- ewww…).
"It's done, you're now a girl." The goddess smiled as
Kamatari began to smile as she realized that, yes, she was a girl officially.
~*~
Yumi and Chou's jaws both hit the floor when Kamatari was
magically transformed into a woman before their eyes. They exchanged looks and nodded: they have got to stop Kamatari
from getting her other two wishes before disaster and chaos wreak the earth and
the Juppon-Gattana.
And, Chou silently added slyly to himself, get a wish for
himself and maybe somehow snag the well chick.
~*~
Kamatari grinned gratefully at the goddess, "Thank you soooo
much! Now for my second wish I wan—!!!"
her mouth was covered by a pair of rather familiar gloves. "Chmow!" she said thru the gloves, her voice
voice muffled by them.
"You are not gonna get Shishio-sama, little boy—er,
girl!" Yumi retorted, prodding a finger at Kamatari's face.
A vein popped in Kamatari's head and, taking a deep
breath, she bit down hard at Chou's hands.
"YOOOOWWWWCH!" he exclaimed, shaking his hands away from
her.
"Yumi! Chou! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?!?!" Kamatari
said angrily.
"Um…eh…" Yumi elbowed Chou's ribs, hissing at him, "you
explain!"
"Jeesh so pushy." Chou grumbled, but said to a steaming
Kamatari, "See, Yumi came here for no good reason at all but I have a
reason! A good rea—OW! What didja kick me for, you slut?!"
Yumi glared daggers at him and awarded him with another
kick at the shins, "Take that you sword idiot."
"Will someone please explain to me what's going on?"
Kamatari tapped her foot impatiently.
The well goddess tapped Kamatari's shoulder, "The second
and third wish?"
"Oh yeah! Almost forgot."
Kamatari twirled back, with a smile on her face.
"Nooooo!!!" Yumi wailed, then suddenly grinned
deviously. "Genie! Her second wish is to be a man again!"
"SAY WHAT?!" Kamatari came at Yumi with a death chop but
it was too late, the wish was granted and the damage ws done. Kamatari was back to a guy.
"Noooo!!!! YUMI!"
Kamatari groaned. "Oh well." He cheered
up. "I'll just use my last wish to make
into a girl ag—CHOU!" he screamed suddenly as he saw Chou "explaining" to the
goddess about Kamatari's last wish.
"See, Kama's a real nice guy, and he agreed to let me have
his last wish, and so it's—" Chou was cut off as Kamatari threw a kick at him.
"Pilipala!" Kamatari barked fiercely at the confused
genie.
"Hai?"
"My last wish is to—"
"Give me the wish!" Chou intercepted.
"No, me!" Yumi cried.
"MY LAST WISH IS—" Kamatari raised her voice.
"Wish granted." Pilipala abruptly said, and a mist of
shimmering gold and silver circled a small body that no one noticed
before. And suddenly Soujiro was
standing back on the ground, looking at his hands and marveling. "Why thank you, Ms. Pilipala!"
"My pleasure, little boy." The goddess winked and
disappeared back down the well.
"SOUJIROU!" Kamatari and Chou roared, ganging up on the
boy.
Yumi kicked both of them aside and knelt down next to
Soujiro, "What did you wish for?"
"For the scars on my hands to disappear. See, when I was still with a step family
they whipped my hands once when I was six and since then I had five vertical
and two horizontal scars on my left palm and two vertical and three horizontal
on my right. I hated them because they
disturbed my training but now they're gone and it's all thanks to that goddess!"
Soujiro explained excitedly.
"Good for you.
Maybe I should have given you the wishes in the first place instead of this clown and his sidekick." Yumi
jerked her thumb and Kamatari and Chou.
Soujiro laughed, "Thank you Yumi-san. But I think Kamatari-san and Chou-san are
pretty nice to me."
Kamatari ruffled Soujiro's hair and smiled, "See ya later,
guy."
Chou grinned at Soujiro, "Nice compliment, smiley. Maybe I'll teach you how to drink
someday. To make you tough, you know." And
walked off.
Soujiro waved at the duo departing. Then later, as he and Yumi walked back to
the house, he said, "You know, if Kamatari was a girl, he would look pretty
good with Chou."
Yumi laughed, "Oh, you."
A/n- like it? My
first RK humor/general. I think I like
it fairly well cuz it had Kamatari and Soujiro in it, two of my all-time
favs. At first this started out as a
just Kamatari fic but later on I added in Yumi, Chou, and Soujiro in just for
laffs. ^^
And now, let's go on to our personal interviews about "Three
Secret Wishes"'s actors/actresses!
CyberSerpent (CS for short): first we have the "main"
character, Kamatari!
Kamatari: I play such a sad role in here…but I like the
idea of me being female!
Yumi: I think it's horrendous that you might be female.
{{Kamatari slaps Yumi}}
Yumi: How dare you!
{{slaps back}}
Kamatari: OW!
{{slaps back}}
Yumi: Fag!
{{slap}}
Kamatari: whore!
{{slap}}
CS: Girls!…um girl and guy!
Chou: this is chaos.
Soujiro: eh? {{smile
smile}}
CS: Soujiro!
CUTEY! {{glomps Soujiro}}
Soujiro: {{sweatdrops}} eh heh heh…kindly get off me
Kamatari: {{stops slapping Yumi for a while}} hey CS I thought
you said you liked me too.
CS: yeah but glomping Soujiro looks more normal since some
ppl might mistake you for a girl and might mistake me for a homo.
Kamatari: teehee. {{Yumi sees a chance and slaps
Kamatari}} OW! You bitch! {{slaps Yumi}}
Yumi: that was my beauty mark! {{slap}}
{{Soujiro, Chou, and CS quietly slink out}}
{{CS slinks back}}
CS: oh yeah! I forgot
the ending!
Later dayz!
CyberSerpent .~
Kamatari: die slut!
{{slap}}
Yumi: you die, baka!
{{slap}}
{{CS sweatdrops and drags the two out, muttering, "Story's
over, you two."}}
