A/N: This chapter is the reason I rated this story "R"

A/N: This chapter is the reason I rated this story "R". There is sex, and the means in which it is done is not pleasant. However, the rating is more for themes than graphic sex or violence, so nothing that squeamish people find offensive will be in here.

The Ghosts In My Head

Chapter Two: Make Amends With You

Dinah Banks was the best friend of Ariadne's brother.

A Muggle-born, she had been sorted into Slytherin the same year as Ariadne's brother, and they had been friends since their second year. He had called Dinah a Mudblood, and she had chased after him with her gun.

Dinah was an unusual person. Her father had been a wealthy British surgeon; her mother the youngest of eight children from a rural farm in America. Dinah's accent consisted of posh English and southern American.

Among other things that were uncommon of most witches, Dinah could shoot a gun. She could hit any "critter," as she called them, from nearly any range with one shot. She was extremely proud of her rifle, and never failed to threaten anyone with it. And after her display of marksmanship in Ariadne's first year, no one ever doubted her word.

Dinah had shot eight bullets at a moving target. The bullets were all clustered around the bull's eye. Dinah had won quite a bit of money that day. Dinah had been her second year then, and this was right after her escapade with Ariadne's brother.

Ariadne's brother kept his friendship with Dinah a secret from their parents, since they didn't approve of Ariadne's friendships with Muggle-borns.

But Dinah was Ariadne's brother's closet companion, and they were always together. Inseparable. When Ariadne's brother got his heart broken, Dinah was there to comfort him, even though the girl that unintentionally broke his heart was one of Dinah's friends. When Dinah's parents died in Ariadne's fifth year, Ariadne's brother stayed in his friend's bed with her all that night, comforting her.

So Dinah was fine with Ariadne sleeping at her house. Ariadne and Dinah had always been friendly, and even if Dinah didn't know the real reason for Ariadne wanting to sleep at her house--Ariadne said it was because her brother was driving her crazy--she allowed her to with no questions asked.

One day, Dinah had to go away on a mission with Lily and Lily's boyfriend, James Potter.

When Dinah went away, Ariadne was forced to sleep at her brother's home.

The third night that she was back at her brother's home, he brought home a friend—Nikolas Avery. Ariadne had never really known who Avery was, but she did now.

Avery had gently pushed open Ariadne's bedroom door while her brother was downstairs, talking to someone through the fire. Ariadne had turned around to see a man a year or two older than her standing in her doorway, an odd look in his eyes.

He came at her, pushing her back on the bed. She screamed for help; he covered her mouth with his, blocking out all sound. He pinned her on the bed and quickly cast a Body-Bind Charm, leaving her unable to move.

He quickly undressed her, his eyes never leaving hers. His eyes were full of lust and madness; his motions became more violent as he took in the fear in her wide eyes.

He stepped back and raked her naked body with his eyes, a twisted smile on his ugly face.

"Well, Doll, it seems as though I am the victor here…and you know what they say, when takes all. In this case, I'm going to take you."

Ariadne eyes grew wider.

His smile grew. "I suppose if you have no objections…"

He undressed himself speedily, and threw himself on top of her. He proceeded to do something to her that is often called making love, but there was nothing loving about it. No, he did it ruthlessly and quickly—he had to, the last thing he wanted was his friend coming in to find him raping his sister—laughing as some of the fear in her eyes was replaced with pain.

When he was finished, he got off her, put on his clothes, and undid the hex on her.

"Not bad, Doll," he sneered.

And then he was gone.

Ariadne got to her feet slowly, but found she couldn't support herself. She crawled to the bathroom and vomited, again and again, as if trying to empty herself of all feeling of him inside her.

She rested both hands on the toilet bowl, inhaling and exhaling deeply. Sweat covered her brow; she wiped it off with the back of her hand, using the other to support herself. She didn't trust her legs.

When she felt she could finally stand, she went over to the mirror.

"What the hell am I going to do?" she asked her reflection.

He voice was hoarse, and the softness of it scared her. She bit her lip, trying not to yield to the tears that were threatening to fall. She had to get out of the house, go somewhere, but where?

Lily. Lily would know what to do. Lily always knew what to do.

She quickly Apparated to Lily's house and pounded on the door. No answer.

It took her ten minutes of knocking to remember that Lily wasn't home. She sank to the ground, finally giving in and sobbing. She then climbed into the oak tree that was in Lily's front yard, hiding herself among the many leaves.

Where could she go?

Then it hit her. Remus Lupin. They had become friends, after all. He was a perfectly nice man, and extremely good looking.

She Apparated to his house, and banged on the door with as much fury as she had on Lily's. Remus quickly answered the door, and when he saw Ariadne, tears streaming down her face, he gently pulled her inside.

"Ariadne, what is it?" he asked.

So she told him.

She told him about how her brother's friends were always trying to sleep with her, and how she couldn't take it, so she slept at Dinah's place.

Told him what had happened tonight, with Avery.

"He raped you?"

Ariadne nodded. She was sobbing, and Remus patted her shoulder gently.

"Does your brother know?"

Ariadne stood. "No! And he can't!"

If she told her brother, he'd go after Avery the second he knew. He might end up dueling or even killing Avery, which would cause the Dark Lord's suspicion to fall on Ariadne's brother. He could die.

"All right, calm down. I'm going after him!" Remus stood and went to get his cloak.

"Remus, no!" She grabbed the back of his robes. "Please, don't! It's too dangerous! You could get killed!" The last thing she needed was his death on her head. No more guilt.

"Let me go," he growled at her, and she was surprised by his tone of voice. Remus had always seemed to be passive and calm, not temperamental and cruel.

His eyes softened as he explained, "One of my friends was just raped. I'm not going to sit around and not do anything about it!"

She looked pleadingly into his eyes. "Remus, please! Please, I beg you, you'll get killed! He—he's—he's not the type of person you want to get into a duel with. Trust me."

Ariadne couldn't very well tell him that Avery was a Death Eater! Too much suspicion would be aroused as to how she knew that information.

Remus sighed. "All right. I won't do anything to him. "But Ariadne, are you sure that you're all right?"

"I'm fine!" She forced a smile, still reasonably shaken up from the whole experience. "Can I sleep here tonight?"

He nodded. "Of course. It'll have to be on the couch, mind you, but I'm sure you'll be fine."

She nodded. "Thank you so much, Remus. Good night."

Ariadne stayed at Remus' house for the next few days, and the conversation turned to their families.

"My family?" Ariadne asked, sitting on the couch next to Remus. "My family life was…unpleasant, to say the least. I don't like to talk about it."

"Tell me," he coaxed gently.

So she told him.

Told him about her family life, how her parents hated her, how she had nothing, how no one liked her.

Told him everything except that her brother was a Death Eater, working for the Dark Lord at twenty, while his sister, at nineteen, worried not only for her sake but also her brother's, praying that he wouldn't get caught by the Ministry.

Remus silently listened the entire time, his arms wrapped around her.

"Ariadne," he said, gently smoothing her hair down. "That's not true. Plenty of people like you."

"Who?" she asked bitterly. "Lily? Dinah? They don't like me, they pity me." And it was true. She had seen the pity in their eyes when they thought she wasn't watching.

"They don't pity you, Ariadne. And I like you." The arms around her tightened. "And I know what it feels like to be unloved."

And then he told her.

He told her how he had been bitten by a werewolf when he was five, how his twin had died that night.

Told her how he was too afraid to tell his friends, how they figured it out, and still didn't desert him.

Told her how hard it was for him at work, with his boss always wary of him, thinking he was a dark creature.

Told her how his family had hated him because his brother had died and he had lived, and because he was a monster.

Told her how he felt like a monster.

Ariadne was shocked. "You're a werewolf?"

Remus nodded slowly. "Since I was five."

Ariadne was having trouble processing all that he had just told her. It obviously was what Severus had meant when he said that Remus was below him in more ways then one. Severus had never been very tolerant of semi-humans or non-humans who spoke a human language, House-Elves included.

"Werewolf?"

Remus nodded again. "The whole deal. Fur, fangs, and claws, once a month."

"I…oh. I don't think any less of you, really, I…" Ariadne struggled to find the right words to say in this situation. But what were the right words? Were there any?

"It's all right if you do," he said in a dull voice. "I know I'm a monster."

Ariadne leaned her head against his chest. "Remus, you aren't a monster. You're the sweetest guy I've ever met. You wouldn't hurt a fly--"

"Not true."

She looked curiously up at him. "Hmm?"

"I killed a spider last night," he said with grin.

Ariadne couldn't help but smile. "I don't like spiders anyway."

And they sat there, each one holding the other until dawn, neither being able to sleep. And when dawn came, Remus looked down at her, smiling in a sad sort of way.

She smiled back up at him, wondering about his past. What had his parents done to him to make him feel so beneath the rest of the human race?

Probably what her parents had done to make her feel unworthy of their care and…well, certainly not love. No, her parents had never loved her.

They say every mother loves their child.

'They' had obviously never met her mother.

Her parents had almost completely ignored her, and when they did speak to her, it was usually to degrade her, tell her what she had done wrong, not what she had done right.

Her father had taken the time to teach her healing, but he taught it to her and her brother at the same time; it was mainly for his benefit, she couldn't ask questions as he could.

Remus' parents had probably ignored him as well, and told him that he was a monster, a dark creature. She wondered briefly if he had ever been beaten, as she had.

"Your parents beat you?" she heard a horrified voice ask.

Too late, Ariadne realized that she had spoken that thought aloud. She slowly nodded, turning to face Remus.

They had beaten her. With anything they could find--belts, spatulas, and--when she had done something they really didn't like--the riding crop her father used when he rode the family horse, Mage.

She had been beaten for anything and everything--not using the right fork at dinner, not having her room clean enough, even things that her brother had done wrong were taken out on her, because it was her fault—she had led him astray, even though she was younger.

"When I was younger," she told Remus with a shrug. "It stopped after I went to Hogwarts."

That was when the verbal abuse had begun.

It had started out subtly. They would mention how proud they were of her brother and, "why couldn't our daughter be as successful as him?" in every conversation they had with any person, even if Ariadne was standing right there.

Then they started to say that to her face, especially when she failed at the Dark Arts.

Then the letters came. The letters that came to Hogwarts, her haven, her sanctuary. The letters that were from her mother, that said that Ariadne couldn't possibly be her daughter, that she had been so perfect, why wasn't Ariadne?

Ariadne began to fear breakfast.

They were always comparing her to someone else. Some perfect model of how she should act, the perfect rich, pureblood, Slytherin daughter.

She could never fit the mold.

So she became rebellious.

"I befriended people my parents hated," she told Remus one afternoon. "I got interested in Muggle things. I even made my hair bright red at one point--you might remember."

Remus nodded. They were seated on his couch, drinking tea.

"I remember. Your brother was not pleased."

Ariadne chuckled.

They sat there in silence for a while longer.

"Ariadne," Remus began, but she stopped him, pressing a finger to his lips.

"Don't speak," she whispered.

He put one hand on her back and set his tea down on the table. He put his other hand on her back as well, pulling her closer to him.

She reached up and put her head on his shoulder.

He brought a hand around and lifted her head up, cupping her chin. He looked at her face, and saw all the permission he needed.

He lowered his face to hers, and they kissed.

That was her second mistake.

***

Another person is touching me, touching my face. I struggle to open to my eyes.

One.

The other.

My youngest son is standing there, a goblet in his hand.

"Hold her up," he says.

I feel myself being pushed back against the stairs even more. The hands stay there.

I am cold.

His hand forces my mouth open and he pours the contents of the goblet down my throat.

A wonderful warmth fills me, and suddenly I can see a little better. The pain in my stomach isn't as unbearable.

"Will-Strengthening Potion," he explains to his siblings.

I smile.

My youngest son, the serious, studious one. Always making potions, pushing himself to do better and learn more.

He looks down at me. His eyes travel from my face to my wound and back again.

I see his face, the face that is his father's, with his stern eyes, the eyes that he turns on his siblings to get them to stop their antics, even if he is younger.

He looks into my eyes, his eyes are void of their usual harshness.

They are consumed with fear.

***

Remus and Ariadne were together for a while after the horrible episode with Avery. They had nine long, wonderful months together, and were even talking about getting married.

But that had all changed on that day when it was so glorious outside.

Ariadne went to the Ministry to see when her exam was, as Polviety was a Ministry-run establishment.

After finding out that she had less than a week to study for this excruciatingly difficult test, she decided to go see Remus for comfort. She walked over to the Auror part of the building, wondering idly when he was going to pop the question.

They'd been talking about getting married for at least a month and a half, but he had yet to actually ask. Ariadne was growing impatient—after all, her twentieth birthday had come and gone, and most of her friends were either married or engaged.

She had even gone with Remus to James and Lily Potter's wedding, back when they were first dating. The wedding had made Ariadne wonder if she would ever get married. Would she ever have children, and if she did, would they be as awful as she was?

She was contemplating these thoughts as she walked towards Remus' office, hoping that maybe he would ask her that day. She quietly opened the door, hoping to surprise him.

It was she who got the surprise.

A/N: Well, that was the wonderful rape scene. I hope that you people aren't too attached to Mr. Lupin…he will be exiting stage left soon…with no curtain calls.

Disclaimer: I own only Ariadne and Dinah. The chapter title once again belongs to Incubus, from a song called Make Yourself.

Reviewers (there were more of you last time, c'mon people, review, please?): Ada Kensington- Ah the Snape-obsession…it happens to the best of us, including me…Aieshya- thanks for the notice about the fics at ff.n. I loved the 22nd part, and the 23rd will be up soon, right? Aww, come on…and about that dream…*sigh*. Rosmerta- she's just learned to block out her family's dislike of herself…loved your story, where's that sequel you promised, eh? Slow Gen- Oh, I'm so glad she's not a Mary Sue…I was so afraid she would turn out to be, thank you for reassuring me that she isn't. LOP- Yes, Snape will be in the next chapter. Patience, my friend. Ginger Donahue- Your work is very nice, but you never seem to finish anything…go on, try something. Oh, he'll get a girl…two, in fact. J