The Crime of the Fantasy
by Karuri-chan, Onna No Baka
Notes: Yes, I am aware how stupid this is...no one can really get this unless they know their history, or have seen the musical Ragtime. Gomen, but it's still kinda funny...
WARNINGS: This fic contains yaoi, Aeris-bashing, and a touch of Cloud- bashing. Most people take it in good fun. If this sort of thing offends you, don't read it. Go read up on the First Ammendment of the Bill of Rights (i.e. FREEDOM OF PRESS).. Thank you.
Disclaimers: I don't own FF of any kind, Ragtime or any of its songs, nor anything related to the law. I do own this parody, twisted as it is, and I'd appreciate it if you'd not take it. Want to use it? Ask me and I'll let ya, after getting you some couseling.
And on we go...
[ We enter in a courtroom scene. The trial is for the murder of Aeris Gainsbourogh. Sephiroth stands as the accused. Vincent is the judge, Tifa is the defense and Reeve is the prosecuter. Yuffie is the stenographer and Cid is the court judge. Everyone else is sitting in the jury and the audience.]
Tifa: The defense calls Cloud Strife to the stand.
[No one moves.]
Tifa: [turns to Cid] A little help?
Cid: Right.
[He goes to the audeince and plucks out Cloud, and dumps him uncerimoniously on the witness stand.]
Tifa: Cloud?
Cloud: [blinks] Oh? Are you talking to me?
Tifa: [growls] Yes! You are Cloud! Now, CLOUD, tell us what you know...[sighs] what you remember about Aeris' death.
[Music starts from nowhere. Cloud smiles at Vincent, who winces at the obvious song cue. Cloud starts to sing.]
Cloud: Your Honor,
I was once Miss Aeris' shining knight
Tifa: She's the Cetra's one last hope?
Cloud: Yes, that's right
Selling flowers in a Midgar slum
She's was nice, but, well, kinda dumb
Glad I got to her before some bum
Your Honor,
Then I went and met a man named Sephiroth
Reeve: [points to Sephy] Lab project gone insane
Cid/Yuffie: Oh! Oh!
Cloud: Sephy's a jealous guy
Cid/Yuffie: Chop! Slice!
Cloud: Cut her from low to high
Cid/Yuffie: Boo-hoo!
Cloud: Your Honor, be fair-
My Sephy went crazy, I swear!
Everyone: Now it's the crime of the Fantasy
Crime of the Fantasy
Giving the game a thrill
Cloud: Sephy's in trouble
Put Aeris in teh Lifestream
And Cloud will have a Mako ill!
All: The crime of the Fantasy
Crime of the Fantasy
All for a yaoi fling!
Rage so came
From that weird-ass name
Cloud: And now I forget everything!
Whee!
Cid/Yuffie: Oh! Oh!
Cloud: Aeris, she did love me
Tifa/Reeve: Slice! Chop!
Cloud: Now she's a memory
Cid/Yuffie/Tifa/Reeve: Boo-hoo!
Cloud: Your Honor, be kind-
My Sephy was out of his mind!
All: Now it's the crime of the Fantasy
Crime of the Fantasy
Making gamers go "Whee!"
Sephy's in trouble
Put Aeris in the Lifestream
Cloud: And Cloud's an amnesia mercenary!
All: The crime of the Fantasy
Crime of the Fantasy
Not such an awful thing...
Cloud: Aeris was killed
But Tifa's not thrilled
'Cause now I forget every-
Now I forget everything!
WHEE!!!!
[Song ends.]
Vincent: Well, jury? What's the verdict?
Red: [stands from the jury's box] We, the jury, find the defendant, not guilty!
Vincent: Okay, then. I'm letting this go, because I'm afraid he'll start singing again... [bangs mallet-thing on the desk] Now get!
Tifa: [jumps up] Sephy, we won!
Sephiroth: Yes! No one can convict me! Bwahahahaha!!!!!!!
Tifa: o.O...
Sephiroth: Er..I mean...justice is served. Right, Cloud?
[Cloud is still sitting at the witness stand]
Sephiroth: Cloud?
Cloud: Who, me?
Everyone: [facefaults]
*FIN*
Notes: Now wasn't that just...odd? Please R&R, if only to flame my insanity. It gets lonely here in Crazy Land...I've only got Cloud to talk to.
Cloud: Who?
*sigh* See what I mean? Well, Ja ne and all that stuffz.
~KSONB
Originally Published: 1-24-02
by Karuri-chan, Onna No Baka
Notes: Yes, I am aware how stupid this is...no one can really get this unless they know their history, or have seen the musical Ragtime. Gomen, but it's still kinda funny...
WARNINGS: This fic contains yaoi, Aeris-bashing, and a touch of Cloud- bashing. Most people take it in good fun. If this sort of thing offends you, don't read it. Go read up on the First Ammendment of the Bill of Rights (i.e. FREEDOM OF PRESS).. Thank you.
Disclaimers: I don't own FF of any kind, Ragtime or any of its songs, nor anything related to the law. I do own this parody, twisted as it is, and I'd appreciate it if you'd not take it. Want to use it? Ask me and I'll let ya, after getting you some couseling.
And on we go...
[ We enter in a courtroom scene. The trial is for the murder of Aeris Gainsbourogh. Sephiroth stands as the accused. Vincent is the judge, Tifa is the defense and Reeve is the prosecuter. Yuffie is the stenographer and Cid is the court judge. Everyone else is sitting in the jury and the audience.]
Tifa: The defense calls Cloud Strife to the stand.
[No one moves.]
Tifa: [turns to Cid] A little help?
Cid: Right.
[He goes to the audeince and plucks out Cloud, and dumps him uncerimoniously on the witness stand.]
Tifa: Cloud?
Cloud: [blinks] Oh? Are you talking to me?
Tifa: [growls] Yes! You are Cloud! Now, CLOUD, tell us what you know...[sighs] what you remember about Aeris' death.
[Music starts from nowhere. Cloud smiles at Vincent, who winces at the obvious song cue. Cloud starts to sing.]
Cloud: Your Honor,
I was once Miss Aeris' shining knight
Tifa: She's the Cetra's one last hope?
Cloud: Yes, that's right
Selling flowers in a Midgar slum
She's was nice, but, well, kinda dumb
Glad I got to her before some bum
Your Honor,
Then I went and met a man named Sephiroth
Reeve: [points to Sephy] Lab project gone insane
Cid/Yuffie: Oh! Oh!
Cloud: Sephy's a jealous guy
Cid/Yuffie: Chop! Slice!
Cloud: Cut her from low to high
Cid/Yuffie: Boo-hoo!
Cloud: Your Honor, be fair-
My Sephy went crazy, I swear!
Everyone: Now it's the crime of the Fantasy
Crime of the Fantasy
Giving the game a thrill
Cloud: Sephy's in trouble
Put Aeris in teh Lifestream
And Cloud will have a Mako ill!
All: The crime of the Fantasy
Crime of the Fantasy
All for a yaoi fling!
Rage so came
From that weird-ass name
Cloud: And now I forget everything!
Whee!
Cid/Yuffie: Oh! Oh!
Cloud: Aeris, she did love me
Tifa/Reeve: Slice! Chop!
Cloud: Now she's a memory
Cid/Yuffie/Tifa/Reeve: Boo-hoo!
Cloud: Your Honor, be kind-
My Sephy was out of his mind!
All: Now it's the crime of the Fantasy
Crime of the Fantasy
Making gamers go "Whee!"
Sephy's in trouble
Put Aeris in the Lifestream
Cloud: And Cloud's an amnesia mercenary!
All: The crime of the Fantasy
Crime of the Fantasy
Not such an awful thing...
Cloud: Aeris was killed
But Tifa's not thrilled
'Cause now I forget every-
Now I forget everything!
WHEE!!!!
[Song ends.]
Vincent: Well, jury? What's the verdict?
Red: [stands from the jury's box] We, the jury, find the defendant, not guilty!
Vincent: Okay, then. I'm letting this go, because I'm afraid he'll start singing again... [bangs mallet-thing on the desk] Now get!
Tifa: [jumps up] Sephy, we won!
Sephiroth: Yes! No one can convict me! Bwahahahaha!!!!!!!
Tifa: o.O...
Sephiroth: Er..I mean...justice is served. Right, Cloud?
[Cloud is still sitting at the witness stand]
Sephiroth: Cloud?
Cloud: Who, me?
Everyone: [facefaults]
*FIN*
Notes: Now wasn't that just...odd? Please R&R, if only to flame my insanity. It gets lonely here in Crazy Land...I've only got Cloud to talk to.
Cloud: Who?
*sigh* See what I mean? Well, Ja ne and all that stuffz.
~KSONB
Originally Published: 1-24-02