Disclaimer: I own nothing, 'cept my mind; but I've probably lost that by now too.
Okay, now it's time to get this thing started. All right, boys and girls, get to your places! It's time to start Act I.
Safehouse, Moscow, UAS(United Asian States)...
Sally got out of the car she and Wufei had rented for the mission, having just gotten back from cleaning the car to the apartment complex they were staying at. She walked up the stairs to their apartment, opened the door, and walked in, closing the door behind her. "Wufei, I'm back," she called out. Hearing no response, she assumed that Wufei had gone out to get some take-out. I hope it isn't more Chinese food, she thought as she sat her purse down on a chair by the bar and walked into her bedroom. They had been lucky enough to get a two bedroom apartment, one of the rarist comodities in Moscow currently. She started to lay down on her bed, but then decided to go ahead and take a shower. She had gotten hot and sweaty while cleaning the car, having been unable to find an automated carwash, and the mission hadn't given her a chance to shower for nearly a week. She changed into her bathrobe and walked out of her room and towards the bathroom. She stopped, suddenly realizing that Wufei had his stereo on full blast....Wait, that can't be...It is! Wufei's listening to "Man, I Feel Like Woman"!!!.... and, after overcoming the initial shock, started laughing insanely. I can't wait to tell Duo about this, she thought. This'll be the perfect revenge for when Wufei threw up in my hair when I accidentally let it slip that Mulan wasn't real. She grinned one of Duo's grins of mischeif.
She continued towards the bathroom, the sound of the shower running completely drowned out by Shania Twain blaring from Wufei's stereo. She opened the door to the bathroom and walked in, closing the door behind her. Sally turned to look at the shower when she heard the shrill scream of a girl who'd just been walked in on while in the shower. She stared unblinkingly at the Chinese girl in the shower, not realizing that the girl had fainted until she came out of shock a minute or two later. Sally ran over to the shower, turned it off, and rolled the girl onto her back to make sure she didn't drown. She...she...., Sally thought,...she looks just like Wufei...except that she's a girl! Suddenly, Sally realized the obvious truth of the matter and fainted, falling into the shower on top of the Chinese girl.
Wufei awoke, not knowing how long he had been out. All he could remember was that Sally had walked in on him in the shower and he had fainted imediately after screaming his head off. He realized there was a rather heavy weight on top of him and looked to see Sally unconcious laying across his chest and stomach. He tried to push her off, but she wouldn't budge. Damn onna, he thought, how can she be so thin, yet so heavy at the same time? If I can just get to my room before she wakes up, I might have a chance...
Sally slowly came around, blinked a few times, and pushed herself up. She looked at the girl she had fallen onto and felt herself blush. She backed away slightly, taking an odd defensive posture. "Who are you?" she demanded.
A million semi-plausible lies shot through Wufei's head as he grabbed his robe and wraped it around himself tightly. I could lie about WHO I am, but there's no way it'd hold up if she asked WHY I am here...Kuso! he thought. He looked into Sally's eyes and began to speak, "I'm Chang Wufei! This is injustice! How dare you walk in on me in the shower, Onna!?"
Sally took a step back, not sure if she wanted to believe the Chinese girl or not. Face it girl, you know it's him. The face, the attitude, the...Suddenly, she noticed that the girl had pulled a katana out of her robe...the katana, it couldn't be anyone else. She nodded slowly. "Obviously, you are Wufei, but....well...um...do you realize that you're a girl?" Her eyes focused on the point of the katana.
Wufei glared at Sally with a glare he had learned from Heero and screamed, "Injustice! Injustice! How dare you call me an onna, you weakling onna no baka!!!??" Wufei lept forward and slashed at Sally with the katana, hoping to scare her into forgetting what she had seen.
Sally lept to the side, tripping over the toilet, and falling into the shower. She looked up to see the point of Wufei's katana mere inches from her face. She swallowed and then said, "Your robe is open." Wufei looked down to see that her robe was open and imediately pulled it tightly closed around her body, letting her gaurd down. Sally imediately took the oppurtunity and grabbed the katana and turned it on Wufei. "Now," she began, "Let's both go get dressed and then you can explain all this to me."
((Chibi-Sally: That bathroom's smaller than I thought. @_@))
Wufei realized she was beat and imediately retreated to her room where "Man, I Feel Like A Woman" by Shania Twain was still blaring on continuous loop on her stereo. She threw on some clothes, turned off her stereo, and walked into the living room where she sat down on the couch. She stared directly at the wall.
Sally went to her room, took noticeably longer to get dressed, then joined Wufei in the living room. She sat the katana down on the coffee table and sat down on the sofa next to Wufei. Wufei and Sally turned to look at each other, Wufei blushing and looking nearly as feminine as she had in the bathroom despite the fact she was wearing her normal outfit. They sat there in silence for a few minutes before Sally finally spoke up.
"Care to explain?" asked Sally.
Wufei yelled, "This is injustice! You have no right to interrogate me, Onna No Baka! What.....", but Wufei was interrupted by Sally.
"Quit with the injustice routine, Wufei. "Explain!" she barked.
Wufei, having never seen Sally get quite so indignant, almost imediately complied. After muttering something about injustice and weak women, she began, "I am really Chang Meiran."
Sally stared unblinking at the Chinese girl sitting next to her. "B-b-but...Meiran died years ago...." Sally stopped when the Chinese girl shook her head.
"Wufei is the one who died, not me," Meiran began. "Those who killed him were after me, not him. So I took on his identity, making it appear that I had been the one killed. I have been Wufei ever since."
Sally sat there, soaking in what Meiran had just said. "Does...," she began, stopped, then began again, "...does Duo know?"
Meiran blushed and shook her head vigorously. "You are the first person to find out. Not even Master O knew.....wait a minute! How did you know about me and Duo!?"
Now it was Sally's turn to blush. "I keep track of the activities of all Preventers."
"INJUSTICE!!!!!" screamed Meiran. "We've done our absolute best to keep our relationship secret! If Heero finds out, he'll probably actually kill me!" Meiran started crying, releasing a lot of the emotions that she was unable to release when she was still Meiran and was still unable to release as Wufei.
Sally looked at Meiran, nearly in shock from seeing Wufei cry. "Don't worry. Heero will not find out about you and Duo from me."
Meiran began to stop crying. She looked up at Sally, "Please don't tell anyone that I'm really a girl. I haven't told Duo yet because....because...because I'm afraid that he'll dump me when he finds out. From what he's said, he ONLY likes boys. He just flirts with girls for the attention and to occasionally make Heero jealous."
Sally giggled, illiciting a strange look combined with a glare from Meiran. "Don't worry, Meiran. I won't tell anyone, but if Duo really does love you; I doubt he'll care whether you are a girl or a boy. Face it, girl, you're gonna have to tell him eventually."
Meiran nodded, but started crying again. Sally leaned over and pulled Meiran towards her, providing her a shoulder to cry on.
Meiran leaned back away from Sally and wiped the tears from her eyes. She quickly blinked a few more tears from her eyes. "I'm...I'm sorry. It's just...the shock of someone finding out...the fear of more people finding out...telling what really happened 4 years ago...it's all just too much. I really am just a weak baka after all..."
Sally shook her her head. "No, you certainly are not a weak baka. You have managed to turn a tragic event into a chance to fight for justice, and you've successfully been your late husband for 4 years. No weak baka could have done that."
Meiran's face lit up. "You're right!" Just then Meiran's stomach started to rumble. She blinked a few times. "Kuso! I was going to go get take-out after my shower! I didn't expect you to get back so early. Perhaps we should just call out for delivery."
Sally nodded, "Okay, but no more Chinese food!"
Meiran hopped up off the sofa. "INJUSTICE! What's wrong with Chinese food!?"
"Nothing," Sally calmly replied, "but I'm tired of it. We've been eating Chinese food for every meal since we started this mission three weeks ago!"
"Hn." replied Meiran. "You order." She then walked quite decidedly back to her room.
"Oh, come on, Meiran, "Sally called after the Chinese onna. "don't go all Heero on me!" Sally sat there shaking her head. Wufei really a girl...who'd have thought it? she thought and smiled to herself before grabbing the phone book and the phone.
((Chibi-Relena: *latched onto Chibi-Dorothy's arm* Who'd have thought it? I would! I would! I would!
Chibi-Dorothy: That's because you're as insane as Koishii-sama, Miss Relena.
Chibi-Relena: *grins* You're so sweet, Dorothy!
Koishii Koibito: Okay, girls, you can stop interrupting the story now. =-.-=;; ))
She flipped through the phone book and found the number for Schlotzsky's and ordered a Thai Chicken Pizza for Meiran and a Texas Schlotzsky's Sandwich for herself. She hung up the phone, picked up her book, and decided to read while she waited the food to arrive.
Suddenly, Sally's eardrums were nearly blown out by "Not That Kind Of Girl" by Vitamin C blaring from Meiran's room. Sally pulled her earplugs out of the drawer in the coffee table and stuck them in her ears and went back to reading.
About 20 minutes later, the food arrived. After paying the delivery girl, Sally walked into the kitchen and sat the food down, then yelled, "Meiran, the food's here!" A few minutes later, Meiran walked in looking 100% like her "normal" Wufei self and no more feminine than usual. They both sat down at the table and started eating. They spent the rest of the evening in silence.
Chibi-Une: No more feminine than usual? You mean Wufei's supposed to be a boy! @_@ I thought Wufei was a girl....but wait, Wufei had a wife, so obviously Wufei's a guy, but Wufei is really Meiran, so Wufei's a girl, but... @_@ Master Treize! Help Me! *runs off in search Treize*
Chibi-Meiran: If Wufei's me, does that mean I'm Wufei?
Chibi-Catherine: *smiles* I got soup!
All the other Chibis: AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! *run*
Koishii Koibito: Catherine, didn't I tell you to stay out of the kitchen?
Chibi-Catherine: *sheepishly* Yeah...
Koishii Koibito: =-.-=;; Anyway, I hope you enjoyed Act I of Le Femme Wufei. I'll try to get Act II up as soon as I can. =^.^=