Sorry I took so long!! ^^; I messed with Gourry quite a bit in this
episode, although I didn't realize it until I started proofreading. You'll see
what I mean. ^_~ The whole pool-hunting thing (which I could have made
much funnier than I did) is, believe it or not, based on a true story. XD
Once again, sorry in advance for any typos.
Director: Well, after a ludicrously long break, we're back! Aren't you guys excited?
Everyone else: No!
Zelgadis: Are you EVER going to stop torturing us?
Director: Are you kidding? With the great reviews I've got for this story? In your dreams!
Lina: No kidding. I dream about it every night.
Director: (sweatdrops) Okay, then. Anyway, would you mind trying to stick to the script today? It's taken me a long time to put together.
Lina: (looking through her script) THIS thing has taken you a long time?!
Director: Oh, please. Roll the opening titles!
Messy Minded Productions Presents...
The Slayers: World Tour
Episode V
Starring
Lina Inverse, Gourry Gabriev, Amelia Wil Tesla Saillune, Zelgadis Greywers, Xellos Metallium, and Filia ul Copt
With
Rezo the Red Priest as Rezo the Road Manager
Special Appearances By:
"The Lady Behind the Counter"
"The Parasailing Instructor"
Written and Directed by Natalie Detour
In their last adventure, our heroes braved the crazed fans staying in the hotel room below them. They are in great need of a vacation! Fortunately for them, their prayers have been answered. For the innocent citizens of Hawaii, however, it's a different story...
Lina and her fellow band members are in the airport, standing in the boarding line. Rezo, dressed in shorts, a Hawaiian t-shirt, and flipflops is behind them.
Lina: It's a good thing Martina decided to stay with Zangulus. I think I'd have gone crazy if she was tagging along with us this whole time.
Xellos: (wearing a lei and examining his ticket) You know, I never realized how much the word "Hawaii" looks like "kawaii". You know, the Japanese word for "cute"?
Lina: Er... yeah.
Upon reaching the counter, they each hand their boarding passes to the lady behind it.
Lady: You six are in rows fourteen and fifteen, and you (looks at Rezo) are right behind them in row sixteen.
The group files down the gate and onto the plane. While squeezing their carry-ons through first class, a thought occurs to Lina.
Lina: Wait a minute... why aren't WE in first class?!
Amelia: Hey, yeah! I never thought of that! Mr. Rezo?
Rezo: I'm not made of money! What did you want, the five-star suite or comfortable plane seats?
Amelia: Oh... I see.
Lina: I don't! Rezo, don't you remember how many copies our second album sold in the first day? A band as famous as we are deserves to sit in first class. No, actually, we deserve out own private jet!
Rezo: You watch too many touring band movies. Now move along, we're blocking the aisle.
Everyone gives up and heads for rows fourteen and fifteen.
Amelia: I want a window seat!
Lina: Me, too!
They both slide into their respective rows.
Gourry: You said you were going to teach me how to play card games, right Amelia?
He sits next to Amelia.
Zelgadis: I need an aisle seat.
He sits next to Gourry. Xellos, behind him, slides in next to Lina. Rezo, the next in line, passes them and sits in row sixteen. Filia, behind him, sees that the only empty seat is next to Xellos.
Filia: (screetches) Oh, I am NOT sitting next to YOU for the entire trip!
Xellos: (sweatdrops) Miss Filia, please-
Filia: Please nothing, you piece of filth!
Xellos: (stands up, looking offended) Miss Lina, I'll find a different seat if you don't mind!
He leaves row fifteen and heads farther back in the plane.
Lina: (jumps up) Hey, wait just a minute! Get back here, Xellos!
Filia makes a "hmmph" sound and sits next to Lina, who sighs and sits back down.
As the plane taxis down the runway, a flight attendant runs the passengers through emergency procedures. Gourry misunderstands her, however, and thinks the plane is crashing (despite it still being on the ground). After some panic and flying oxygen masks, Amelia manages to convince him that everything is under control, and he settles down.
(an hour and a half later)
Lina is looking out the plane window down at the Pacific Ocean.
Lina: Being up here really inspires me to write a song. I think I'll call it... Levitation!
She whips out a notebook and starts writing.
Gourry and Amelia are engaged in their game of Hearts. Zelgadis is holding a hand of cards and reading a book at the same time, clearly only playing the game to humor his companions.
Gourry: Wait, so how many points do I have now?
Amelia: Eight, plus the Queen of Spades is fourteen, so that's... twenty-two! You're still winning, Mister Gourry!
Filia: (sipping iced tea) It's so relaxing up here, with no turbulence. It's like-
She is cut off by a rather piercing screaming coming from the back of the plane. Lina drops her pencil, Gourry drops his cards, Zelgadis drops his book, and Filia nearly drops her tea. Everyone turns around to see Xellos running towards them. He plops down next to Filia and ducks his head, seeming to be hiding from someone.
Zelgadis: What was that?
Xellos: Oh, nothing...
Everyone knows this is not the case, but they also know better than to try pressing Xellos for information.
(several hours later)
The band members, plauged by jet lag but tempted by the warm air, have just thrown their bags down in their hotel suite. Everyone except for Zelgadis is waiting in line for the bathroom, each person with his or her swimsuit and towel.
Rezo: Now listen, you kids. I know you want to go out and play, but we have a concert tonight at nine thirty, meaning you have to be ready to head for the venue at eight. Is that agreed?
Everyone else: Yes.
Rezo: I'm serious about this. Be back here, ready to jump in the car, at eight o'clock.
Once everyone is changed into their swimsuits, they group together and prepare to head out the door.
Rezo: Wait! Tell me again, so I know you won't forget; what time do you have to be back here?
Everyone else: Eight.
Rezo: Good. Lina?
Lina: Eight.
Rezo: Zelgadis?
Zelgadis: Eight.
Rezo: Gourry?
Gourry: Eight.
Rezo: Filia?
Filia: Eight.
Rezo: Amelia?
Amelia: Eight.
Rezo: Xellos?
Xellos: Eight.
Rezo: Remember that!
Lina: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go, guys!
She runs out the door, followed by her bandmates. They skip the elevator and use the stairs, running until they reach the central courtyard of the resort.
Lina: Okay, we have two options here. Should we go to the beach, or hang out at a pool? I say beach.
Amelia: Pool!
Gourry: Beach!
Filia: Pool.
Zelgadis: Beach.
Xellos: Pool.
Lina pauses and scratches her head.
Lina: Um, okay, I guess we can just split up. Amelia, Filia, and Xellos can find a pool, and Gourry, Zel and I'll hang out at the beach. Agreed?
Everyone else: Fine.
Lina: Say, does anyone remember what time Rezo said we were supposed to meet for the concert?
Everyone else: No.
Lina: (shrugs) Oh, well. Come on, guys! (beckons Zel and Gourry)
She, Gourry, and Zelgadis turn and run in the direction of the beach. Amelia looks around.
Amelia: Do either of you two actually know where a pool is?
Xellos: No, I can't say I do...
Filia: I don't remember seeing one.
Amelia: Hmmm.... (frowns) I guess we'll just have to go pool-hunting. Let's go!
She heads in the opposite direction of Lina, Gourry, and Zel, followed by Filia and Xellos.
(at the beach)
Lina: Ah, it's a beautiful evening! Those guys are missing out!
Gourry: Yeah. What fun is sitting by a pool if you can surf?
He runs out into the waves.
Lina: (spreading out a towel) Hey, Zel! Aren't you hot? Why didn't you bring a bathing suit?
Zelgadis: I'm fine.
Lina: (shrugs) Suit yourself.
From out in the ocean, Gourry can be heard yelling for help. Lina squints to try and see him.
Lina: Looks like he's not a great body surfer.
She starts applying suntan lotion.
Zelgadis: Aren't you going to help him?
Lina: Why don't you?!
Zelgadis sighs.
(in the parking lot)
Amelia: I didn't see any pools. Did you guys?
Xellos, Filia: No.
Amelia: (bites her lip) I know! Do either of you have a brochure for the condo?
Xellos: I do. (pulls it out of his beach bag and hands it to Amelia)
Amelia: (takes it and examines it) This should have a map, or something. (flips through it) Aha! Here we go.
She shows the map to Filia and Xellos, who study it.
Filia: According to this, there's a big pool just over... (looks around before pointing south) there.
Amelia: But we were just there. Don't you think we would have seen it?
Xellos: We might as well try again. It must be around here somewhere.
(at the beach)
Gourry has returned from body surfing, looking a bit shaken but otherwise alright. Zelgadis sits in a beach chair, reading. Lina is arguing with a beach merchant trying to sell her bracelets.
Lina: I'm telling you, I can get this same exact one for five dollars at Wal Mart!
She gives up and storms back to her friends.
Lina: Some people. Yeesh. (taps her foot) I'm bored, but the water's too cold. There must be SOMETHING interesting to do on this beach....
She notices Gourry building a sandcastle (which is turning out as more of a lump).
Lina: I got it! Hey Zel, are you up for laying in some nice, relaxing, hot sand?
Zelgadis looks up from his book to give her a strange look.
Zelgadis: What do you mean?
Lina heads over to him, grabs his arm, and yanks him off of his chair.
Zelgadis: Hey! What the...?!
Lina: Lay down! I'm gonna bury you in the sand!
Zelgadis: You've got to be kidding.
Lina: No. Now lay down like a good living sand castle! Hey Gourry, wanna help?
Gourry: Sure!
Gourry jumps up and trots over to Lina, who is holding Zel down.
Zelgadis: I guess there's no point in fighting it.
Zel, looking unthrilled, lays still while Lina and Gourry work on piling sand on him.
(outside the front office)
Filia: I don't get it. We've walked back and fourth at least three times now, and I haven't seen any pool. We're never going to find it at this rate.
Amelia: We can't give up, Miss Filia! The pool is around here somewhere! Look at the nice picture of it in the brochure.
Xellos: The brochure doesn't seem to be helping us much.
Amelia: We can't possibly have covered all ground. Let's keep looking.
Director: Cut to commercial!
~~
The camera is on Lina, Gourry, and Amelia, who are sitting on a couch, watching TV. They are each holding a Coke.
Amelia: (voice over) It's the really simple things in life that I enjoy. Sometimes, it's nice to just sit around watching TV with my friends-
Lina: Hey, Gourry has more than me!
Amelia: (voice over) -and having an after-dinner snack.
Lina attempts to take Gourry's cup out of his hand.
Gourry: Hey! This is mine!
Lina: You've got more than me!
Gourry: Only because you drank yours faster than I drank mine!
Lina: Did not! Gourry, give me that!
They start wrestling over their cups, and Amelia ducks to avoid getting splashed with Coke.
Amelia: (voice over) Life tastes good... Coca Cola!®
~~
(at the beach)
Lina: Burying people in the sand is a great workout!
Gourry: It really is. This sure is fun, isn't it Zelgadis?
There is no reply.
Gourry: Hey, where's Zelgadis?
Lina looks down to see only a high lump of sand, but no Zel.
Lina: Whoops. I guess we overdid it a little.
She and Gourry begin frantically digging through the pile of sand.
(near the game room)
Filia: I'm getting sick of this. Is there anywhere on the resort we haven't been, Miss Amelia?
Amelia: (looking at the map, troubled) Well, I think there's some places over on the east side we haven't checked...
Xellos: (looking at the sky) It's getting dark. If we don't find it soon, we'll have to give up.
(at the beach)
Lina: (still digging frantically) Zel, Zel! Are you okay? Where are you?!
Zelgadis: Lina, I'm right here.
Lina spins around to see Zelgadis standing behind her.
Gourry: Huh? How did you get over there?
Zelgadis: (rolls his eyes) You guys don't pay attention. I got up and walked off about five minutes after you started burying me. You didn't even notice.
Lina jumps up and strangles him.
Lina: We were worried about you! We thought we'd buried you too deep!
Zelgadis: (trying to breathe) You probably would have, if I hadn't left.
Lina: (lets go of him) This beach isn't all it's cracked up to be. I wonder how Amelia, Filia, and Xellos are doing at the pool...
(outside the massage station)
Amelia: Where on earth is the POOL?!
Filia: I'm convinced there isn't one. We've looked all over the resort's property.
Amelia: (gritting her teeth and twitching) I'm getting really tired of this...
Xellos: Miss Amelia, there are some places over behind the clubhouse we haven't checked.
Amelia: Okay, okay. But we'd better find a pool there!
(at the beach)
Lina: Nice sunset. I wish someone had told me Hawaii was this boring!
Zelgadis: If you come out earlier in the day, you can rent boats and go-carts, I believe.
Gourry: I read they've got waterskiing, too.
Lina: That's all well and good, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm BORED!
Zelgadis: Why don't we go try and find the pool? I'm sure it's warm enough to swim in.
(behind the clubhouse)
Amelia is holding the brochure clenched in her fist, and looks too upset to speak. Filia looks bored. Xellos rubs the back of his head.
Xellos: Maybe we should wait until tomorrow, when there's more daylight. Why don't we go see how Lina and the others are faring at the beach?
Amelia nods silently.
(on the path coming from the beach)
Lina: What a ripoff. I was looking forward to a relaxing vacation, and I got this!
Amelia: (a few yards ahead) What a ripoff. I was looking for a pool, and I got this!
Lina: Amelia?
Amelia: Miss Lina?
Lina's and Amelia's respective groups come face-to-face with each other.
Lina, Gourry, Amelia, Filia: What are you guys doing here?
Lina: The beach was boring, and the water was too cold. How was the pool?
Amelia: Well.... there WAS no pool!
Lina: What?
Amelia: Mister Xellos, Miss Filia, and I spent an hour and a half looking for the stupid pool, and we never found it!
Lina: Oh. Did you check the brochure? There's a map in there.
Amelia, Xellos, and Filia facefault. Several yards away, a tall, shadowy figure can be seen running towards them.
Rezo (the shadowy figure): THERE you guys are! I've been looking all over for you! I thought I told you to be ready for the concert at EIGHT!
Lina: What time is it?
Rezo: Almost nine! We're late! Come on, hurry!
Lina: What, are we just going to perform in our bathing suits?
Rezo: We'll see. Come on, we have to rush!
(two and a half hours later)
After a successful but exhausting concert, the band members are in a limousine, heading back to their condominium.
Lina: (drinking a coke with an umbrella in it) This is great. Rezo, why do we travel by bus?
Rezo: The same reason we don't travel first class.
Lina grumbles something under her breath.
Rezo: So, Kids, we're going to be here all day tomorrow, and we're leaving the morning after that. Basically, you have all day tomorrow to lounge around.
Zelgadis: Where are we going after we leave here?
Rezo: Well, first, we're doubling back to San Fransisco so you can do your Rolling Stone interview, then we're headed to New York, which is our last American destination before we go world-wide.
Lina: There doesn't seem to be any method or pattern to this tour. It's like you and Zelas just got drunk and circled random spots on a globe.
Rezo: Yes, that's pretty much how it happened.
Everyone sweatdrops and doesn't say anything more.
(the next morning)
Our happy heroes, along with their road manager, are down at the beach. Lina, Gourry, and Amelia are splashing around in the water; Filia is sunning herself; Zel is reading; Rezo is sipping a piña colada in the shade of an umbrella; Xellos is wandering around and "accidentally" kicking sand on random beach occupants.
Lina: Hey, I've got an idea! Why don't we rent something? Like a boat or a surf board or some go-carts?
Amelia: I want to rent go-carts!
Gourry: I vote for a surf-board!
Lina: Okay, let's head in then.
She wades out of the water and back onto the beach, followed by her friends.
Lina: Hey, Rezo! Can we rent some stuff?
Rezo: Actually, I already rented something I thought you might like.
Lina: Really? What?
Rezo digs around in his beach bag and pulls out an fat, white envelope. Lina rushes over and takes it from him, tearing it open. She pulls out six tickets and a small booklet.
Lina: Pa... Parasailing tickets?!
Rezo: Have fun!
Lina looks as though she doesn't know whether to scream or smile. At last, she settles on smiling.
Lina: Great! Hey, thanks Rezo!
Rezo: You kids enjoy yourself now.
Rezo pulls out a tube of blue zinc sunscreen and rubs some of it on his nose.
Lina: Hey! Gourry, Amelia, Zel, Filia, Xellos! Come on! We've got parasailing tickets!
Amelia: Parasailing? Cool!
Gourry: I've always wanted to fly!
Zelgadis: (sarcastically) Yay.
Xellos: This should be fun.
Filia: Isn't parasailing dangerous?
Lina: Only if you're not heavy enough and you float away. Let's go!
Lina and her bandmates grab their towels and run down the beach towards the rental house a quarter mile away.
(an hour later)
Rezo is sitting in his beach chair, starting to doze off. He jumps awake suddenly, startled (for the second time on this trip) by someone's scream. Only this time, the scream sounds familiar...
(on a boat)
Lina: (to the parasailing instructor) Um... Mister? I think Gourry's rope came undone or something.
Gourry, being the first of his friends to try out the parasail, has started yelling and screaming for help as he floats farther and farther away.
Instructor: Oh, yes. That does tend to happen sometimes.
Everyone stares blankly for a few seconds.
Filia: Well, aren't you going to help him?!
Instructor: He's heavy enough; I'm sure he'll float back down eventually.
Everyone sweatdrops and turns around to watch Gourry.
(at the beach)
Rezo glances out over the water and spots a figure (unmistakeably Gourry) floating through the air, his rope detatched from the boat. Rezo chuckles to himself.
Rezo: Those crazy kids...
Will Gourry make it back to land safely? Will the others also, knowing the incompetence of their instructor? Will Rezo ever get some sense into that big, blind head of his? What kind of vacation is this, anyway?! Tune in next week for the sixth episode of World Tour for more on-the-road suspense!!