Author note: Time for our "Q" to make an appearance. I don't own any of the FF characters (poor me) Or the 007 ideas. Almost time for the confrontation to widen... Kyeh heh heh...
Enjoy! Cookies to those who review. Used lolly sticks to those who don't!!
'So now that you let Shadowkupo get away with the esper, kupo,' Mog was saying as he led Locke and Gogo through the darkened corridors of Narshe's underground (literally) secret government headquarters (Try saying all that with a mouthful of jellybean sandwich)
'We're gonna have to go and get it back, kupo,' Locke, now fully sober, nodded and grinned.
'So, I get to jetset across the world again, fighting dangerous villains, meeting beauuutiful women and generally saving the world again?' Mog shook his head.
'No, kupo. We're gonna put Gogokupo in charge, kupo,' Locke's jaw dropped. Gogo's eyes widened; the only sign of his surprise. Well, that and the fact that he was jumping around gleefully, doing an excellent impression of a football player who just scored the winning touchdown in the Superbowl.
'WHAT?!' Locke exclaimed. Mog's face remained serious.
'Yes, kupo. We want the job done right this time, kupo. We don't want you drinking all the funds again, kupo,' A single tear ran down Locke's cheek.
'Y-you... Why?' Mog grinned.
'Just kidding you, kupo! Why would we put mimekupo in charge when we have you, kupo?' Locke's tearful glare softened. Gogo began to bang his head against the nearest wall. He never got a break. Always that drunken fool. Damn. It made him want to kill himself, but then the world would be robbed of a great mime. What to do...?
'Y-you mean that...?' Locke whispered. Mog nodded.
'Sure, kupo. Now, c'mon, kupo. We have to go see Q, kupo,' Locke breathed a sigh of relief. Gogo continued to try and kill himself.
They soon reached Q's lab; a haven of machinery, gadgets and beautiful female lab hands.
'Heads up!!' a voice yelled. Gogo and Mog got out of the way. Locke was slightly off the pace and was hit in the chest by a inflatable projectile as it sped towards him.
'Everyone alrig...' the voice continued, heading towards the complaining pile of secret agent. 'Oh... Sorry, Cole... Kinda got away from me there,'
Master mechanic, King of a nation, lover of all women everywhere and explosives fanatic.
Default name: Edgar (nickname - Q for Quitbuggingmeyouperv!)
'Qkupo! What kind of invention is that, kupo?' Mog asked as he picked up the inflatable and peered curiously at it. Edgar smiled and gestured to it.
'Well, as I demonstrated, you can fire it out of a cannon and knock over enemies at 500 paces... You can also put butter in the cannon and spread 3000 pieces of toast in two minutes,' Mog quirked an eyebrow.
'Uh... alright, kupo,'
'Anyone get the number of that truck...?' Locke groaned, as he was helped back up to vertical by Gogo. Edgar grinned and moved to slap the ailing agent on the back.
'I knew you could survive it, old boy. After all, nothing can get you down, eh?'
'Nothing except four bottles of tequila...' Gogo muttered; chuckling to himself.
'You say something, kupo?' Mog asked; his eyes slitting again. Gogo shook his head and remained silent. Edgar grabbed Locke around the shoulders and began to drag him around the lab.
'What brings you all down here anyway? I haven't missed Christmas again, have I?' One of his beautiful female lab hands strutted past, giving the young inventor a sultry smile. Edgar quirked a playful eyebrow.
'I get so distracted sometimes...' Mog shook his head and eyed a few of the bizarre looking experiments that were bubbling around him.
'Lockupo is going to the heart of the EOE this time, Qkupo,' he started; provoking gapes from Locke and Gogo.
'I am? I thought we were just going to get the esper back!' Locke exclaimed. Mog shook his head and grinned evilly.
'Well, kupo. You should know better than to assume like that, kupo. We want you to get rid of the EOE entirely this time, kupo,' Locke face-faulted, ignoring the fact that Gogo was pointing at him and laughing silently. All that sounded like hard work!
'But, I'm only one man! They have an army!' Mog put an arm around Gogo.
'Well, Gogokupo here will help you,' Gogo's silent jeers stopped suddenly.
'D'oh...'
'Ah-hah... So, you'll need some of my experiments to help you, am I right?' Edgar started, clapping his hands together and giggling childishly. 'I can't wait for you to try some of these babies out!' He led them to a long table; upon which there were countless gadgets and machines. Edgar picked up a bandana and held it up against Locke's suit.
'Hmm... Not quite your colour, but it'll do...' Locke frowned.
'It's a piece of cloth,' he said. Edgar waggled a finger at him.
'So I would have you think! If you pull it taut once, then it becomes a highly explosive piece of cloth! You'll have ten seconds to get rid of it or deactivate it. Pull it taut three and a half times more and it will be deactivated,' Locke sweatdropped.
'How do you pull something taut three and a half times?' he asked. Edgar didn't hear him; instead choosing to pick up another of his inventions and grinning at it.
'You'll love this,' he started, holding up what appeared to be a set of lockpicks.
'Lockpicks, kupo?' Mog asked, eyeing the bandana suspiciously. Everything Edgar made seemed to have something to do with explosives these days...
'Not just any lockpicks!' Edgar gushed. 'These also double up as intricate toothpicks, as well as being highly explosive lockpicks!!' Locke, Mog and Gogo all exchanged glances. Edgar did not notice.
'Rub any two of them together, and you have the equivilant of two hand grenades!! You'll have ten seconds to chuck them,' He demonstrated by rubbing two of the lockpicks together. Locke sweatdropped again.
'Uhh... Edgar?' Edgar nodded in a preoccupied manner.
'Uhm-hmm?'
'How do you deactivate them?' Edgar frowned.
'We haven't figured that part out yet...'
Thankfully, the explosion didn't destroy too much of the lab, and a smoking and slightly charred Edgar was still able to show off a few more inventions before reaching his coup d'état.
'This is our best invention yet,' he started, petting the chocobo on the head. Locke quirked an eyebrow.
'It's a chocobo, right? Not an explosive chocobo, I hope...' Edgar smiled.
'This is what we call the "Aston Choco" Just a normal, two person mode of transportation, right?' Gogo, Locke and Mog all nodded slowly, even though they knew that this was no ordinary chocobo. What kind of normal chocobo had rocket launchers strapped to it?
'Wrong!' Edgar yelled triumphantly. 'This is an extra special chocobo. Anti-aircraft missiles, machine gun fire, and a few other adaptations of my own design...' He smirked evilly and patted the chocobo again.
'All you have to do is push the buttons on the reins. All are marked for your convinience,' Locke swallowed nervously.
'But it doesn't explode, right?' Edgar frowned.
'Well, it shouldn't...'
Back in the cave just outside Narshe, Shadow was enjoying a few moments of peace and quiet. The supreme leader had told him to get the esper to South Figaro, where a ship would be waiting. Then, he would get paid, and he would be free; free of those two idiots. Speaking of those two, he had started to wonder what was taking them so long. He had sent them undercover to the castle of Figaro to scout ahead and collect some supplies. This was a job that not even they could mess up...
Right?
'C'mon, Vicks!' Wedge said urgently, stumbling along the desert with his arms full of supplies. 'If we don't get back to Shadow soon, he might go back without us!' A few feet behind him, Vicks was staggering slowly; loaded down by even more potions, weapons and various items.
'Slow down, Wedge!' he grumbled, trying not to lose the Elixir that was balanced precariously on top of the pile of goodies. 'He's not gonna go anywhere...'
Wedge paused where he was, glad to get a rest under the indomitable sun. Why did Figaro have to be in the middle of a boiling hot desert?
'These recon jobs are the pits...' he mumbled, waiting for Vicks to catch up. 'But we got some good deals, right? Even Shadow has to be pleased for all the stuff we got!' Vicks finally reached where Wedge was waiting and nodded.
'Oh yeah. Only 1000Gil for a Potion!' Wedge let himself grin eagerly.
'We only spent 500,000Gil and look at all the stuff we got!'
'Well... We'd better get going... I wonder why all those merchants were laughing at us...?' Wedge scowled.
'It's cause of these stupid undercover clothes Shadow made us wear. I told him yellow wasn't my colour... It clashes with my eyes...' Vicks let out a slight sigh.
'I don't think he likes us...' Wedge nodded.
'I know... But he'll feel much better when he sees the present we got him!' The two giggled eagerly and started to walk back towards the cave again. Yup, he would be pleased when he saw all the supplies and the extra special gift they had got. And it had only taken half of the funds for them to buy all this.
Shadow was almost asleep when the two idiots stumbled back into the cave, in a flurry of groans, grumbles and potions. He leapt up from where he was lay, making it seem like he had actually been training all this time.
'Where have you two nitwits been?' he asked angrily. Vicks and Wedge had dumped their loads on the ground and were now leaning against each other; trying to catch their breath.
'W... We had to carry all the stuff... back from Figaro...' Vicks stuttered, gaining an affirmative nod from Wedge.
'Y-yeah... It was heavy...'
'And hot...' Shadow rolled his eyes.
'Excuses, excuses...' he said, moving to the entrance of the cave; just to check how hot it was. His black ninja gear had a tendency to trap heat and make him pass out on warm days. He couldn't have that happen in front of the twits.
'Lets see what you got then,' he said, moving over to the pile of items. Wedge pulled a checklist out of his pocket and began to read things off.
'15 Potions, 5 Phoenix Downs, 3 Elixirs... Check,' Shadow nodded contently. At least they could follow a shopping list.
'20 Shuriken, 1 Crossbow, 2 Mythril swords and a couple of Cherry Squishies... Check,' Wedge went on. Shadow's eyes narrowed. Since when did he order Cherry Squishies?
'2 bags of popcorn, 17 single M&M's and a partridge in a pear tree... Check,' Vicks said, reading from his own checklist. Shadow turned to them both.
'Wait just a minu...' he started, only to be interuppted by a grinning Wedge.
'And last, but not least, a present for our dear leader...'
'Check!' Vicks said, far more enthusiastically than Shadow would have liked. What the hell was going on here?
'What present...?' he said, feeling very uneasy about all this. Wedge moved towards the pile of items and began to rummage around.
'Nope, not there... Is tha... No, not that either... Wait a second... No, wait... Ah-HAH! Here it is!'
'Quick, quick! Give it to hiim!' Shadow's eyes moved over to where Vicks was clapping his hands eagerly and jumping up and down on the spot. This was not right...
'Here it is!' Wedge said, bounding towards Shadow with the energy of the supreme leader when he was on a sugar rush (not a pretty sight) The assassin looked down into Wedge's outstretched hand.
The anguished scream could be heard back in Narshe, where Locke was gingerly testing out the Aston Choco. He frowned; looking down at Gogo.
'Sounds like someone's trying out one of Edgar's patented designs,' he quipped. Edgar, who happened to be following one of his beautiful female lab hands around, heard and frowned.
'Heeey!' he complained. Gogo and Locke began to snigger.
'B-but, we thought you'd like it!' Wedge was screaming as Shadow chased him and Vicks around the cave.
'We just wanted to show our appreciation for your fine leadership!' Vicks yelled back, dodging an angrily thrown Shuriken. Shadow paused for a moment, turning a funny shade of red under his mask.
'YOU SPENT ALL OUR CASH ON A TOASTER FOR ME?!' he yelled, kicking the now mangled present harshly. Wedge and Vicks nodded dopily.
'Well, yeah! Everyone likes toast!' Vicks said. Wedge nodded.
'And it's not just a toaster. If you kick it hard enough, it turns into a highly explosive toaster! The King of Figaro himself built it!' Shadow was about to throw a Shuriken right between Wedge's eyes when a beep sounded from the toaster. He looked down.
'I swear I'm going to kill that supreme leader for sending you two out with me...'
The explosion could also be heard back in Narshe. Gogo was now testing out the Aston Choco; gingerly pushing a few of the buttons. He and Locke exchanged glances.
'Yup. Someone trying out one of Edgar's designs,'
'Hey! I heard that!!'
'Heh heh heh...'
Enjoy! Cookies to those who review. Used lolly sticks to those who don't!!
'So now that you let Shadowkupo get away with the esper, kupo,' Mog was saying as he led Locke and Gogo through the darkened corridors of Narshe's underground (literally) secret government headquarters (Try saying all that with a mouthful of jellybean sandwich)
'We're gonna have to go and get it back, kupo,' Locke, now fully sober, nodded and grinned.
'So, I get to jetset across the world again, fighting dangerous villains, meeting beauuutiful women and generally saving the world again?' Mog shook his head.
'No, kupo. We're gonna put Gogokupo in charge, kupo,' Locke's jaw dropped. Gogo's eyes widened; the only sign of his surprise. Well, that and the fact that he was jumping around gleefully, doing an excellent impression of a football player who just scored the winning touchdown in the Superbowl.
'WHAT?!' Locke exclaimed. Mog's face remained serious.
'Yes, kupo. We want the job done right this time, kupo. We don't want you drinking all the funds again, kupo,' A single tear ran down Locke's cheek.
'Y-you... Why?' Mog grinned.
'Just kidding you, kupo! Why would we put mimekupo in charge when we have you, kupo?' Locke's tearful glare softened. Gogo began to bang his head against the nearest wall. He never got a break. Always that drunken fool. Damn. It made him want to kill himself, but then the world would be robbed of a great mime. What to do...?
'Y-you mean that...?' Locke whispered. Mog nodded.
'Sure, kupo. Now, c'mon, kupo. We have to go see Q, kupo,' Locke breathed a sigh of relief. Gogo continued to try and kill himself.
They soon reached Q's lab; a haven of machinery, gadgets and beautiful female lab hands.
'Heads up!!' a voice yelled. Gogo and Mog got out of the way. Locke was slightly off the pace and was hit in the chest by a inflatable projectile as it sped towards him.
'Everyone alrig...' the voice continued, heading towards the complaining pile of secret agent. 'Oh... Sorry, Cole... Kinda got away from me there,'
Master mechanic, King of a nation, lover of all women everywhere and explosives fanatic.
Default name: Edgar (nickname - Q for Quitbuggingmeyouperv!)
'Qkupo! What kind of invention is that, kupo?' Mog asked as he picked up the inflatable and peered curiously at it. Edgar smiled and gestured to it.
'Well, as I demonstrated, you can fire it out of a cannon and knock over enemies at 500 paces... You can also put butter in the cannon and spread 3000 pieces of toast in two minutes,' Mog quirked an eyebrow.
'Uh... alright, kupo,'
'Anyone get the number of that truck...?' Locke groaned, as he was helped back up to vertical by Gogo. Edgar grinned and moved to slap the ailing agent on the back.
'I knew you could survive it, old boy. After all, nothing can get you down, eh?'
'Nothing except four bottles of tequila...' Gogo muttered; chuckling to himself.
'You say something, kupo?' Mog asked; his eyes slitting again. Gogo shook his head and remained silent. Edgar grabbed Locke around the shoulders and began to drag him around the lab.
'What brings you all down here anyway? I haven't missed Christmas again, have I?' One of his beautiful female lab hands strutted past, giving the young inventor a sultry smile. Edgar quirked a playful eyebrow.
'I get so distracted sometimes...' Mog shook his head and eyed a few of the bizarre looking experiments that were bubbling around him.
'Lockupo is going to the heart of the EOE this time, Qkupo,' he started; provoking gapes from Locke and Gogo.
'I am? I thought we were just going to get the esper back!' Locke exclaimed. Mog shook his head and grinned evilly.
'Well, kupo. You should know better than to assume like that, kupo. We want you to get rid of the EOE entirely this time, kupo,' Locke face-faulted, ignoring the fact that Gogo was pointing at him and laughing silently. All that sounded like hard work!
'But, I'm only one man! They have an army!' Mog put an arm around Gogo.
'Well, Gogokupo here will help you,' Gogo's silent jeers stopped suddenly.
'D'oh...'
'Ah-hah... So, you'll need some of my experiments to help you, am I right?' Edgar started, clapping his hands together and giggling childishly. 'I can't wait for you to try some of these babies out!' He led them to a long table; upon which there were countless gadgets and machines. Edgar picked up a bandana and held it up against Locke's suit.
'Hmm... Not quite your colour, but it'll do...' Locke frowned.
'It's a piece of cloth,' he said. Edgar waggled a finger at him.
'So I would have you think! If you pull it taut once, then it becomes a highly explosive piece of cloth! You'll have ten seconds to get rid of it or deactivate it. Pull it taut three and a half times more and it will be deactivated,' Locke sweatdropped.
'How do you pull something taut three and a half times?' he asked. Edgar didn't hear him; instead choosing to pick up another of his inventions and grinning at it.
'You'll love this,' he started, holding up what appeared to be a set of lockpicks.
'Lockpicks, kupo?' Mog asked, eyeing the bandana suspiciously. Everything Edgar made seemed to have something to do with explosives these days...
'Not just any lockpicks!' Edgar gushed. 'These also double up as intricate toothpicks, as well as being highly explosive lockpicks!!' Locke, Mog and Gogo all exchanged glances. Edgar did not notice.
'Rub any two of them together, and you have the equivilant of two hand grenades!! You'll have ten seconds to chuck them,' He demonstrated by rubbing two of the lockpicks together. Locke sweatdropped again.
'Uhh... Edgar?' Edgar nodded in a preoccupied manner.
'Uhm-hmm?'
'How do you deactivate them?' Edgar frowned.
'We haven't figured that part out yet...'
Thankfully, the explosion didn't destroy too much of the lab, and a smoking and slightly charred Edgar was still able to show off a few more inventions before reaching his coup d'état.
'This is our best invention yet,' he started, petting the chocobo on the head. Locke quirked an eyebrow.
'It's a chocobo, right? Not an explosive chocobo, I hope...' Edgar smiled.
'This is what we call the "Aston Choco" Just a normal, two person mode of transportation, right?' Gogo, Locke and Mog all nodded slowly, even though they knew that this was no ordinary chocobo. What kind of normal chocobo had rocket launchers strapped to it?
'Wrong!' Edgar yelled triumphantly. 'This is an extra special chocobo. Anti-aircraft missiles, machine gun fire, and a few other adaptations of my own design...' He smirked evilly and patted the chocobo again.
'All you have to do is push the buttons on the reins. All are marked for your convinience,' Locke swallowed nervously.
'But it doesn't explode, right?' Edgar frowned.
'Well, it shouldn't...'
Back in the cave just outside Narshe, Shadow was enjoying a few moments of peace and quiet. The supreme leader had told him to get the esper to South Figaro, where a ship would be waiting. Then, he would get paid, and he would be free; free of those two idiots. Speaking of those two, he had started to wonder what was taking them so long. He had sent them undercover to the castle of Figaro to scout ahead and collect some supplies. This was a job that not even they could mess up...
Right?
'C'mon, Vicks!' Wedge said urgently, stumbling along the desert with his arms full of supplies. 'If we don't get back to Shadow soon, he might go back without us!' A few feet behind him, Vicks was staggering slowly; loaded down by even more potions, weapons and various items.
'Slow down, Wedge!' he grumbled, trying not to lose the Elixir that was balanced precariously on top of the pile of goodies. 'He's not gonna go anywhere...'
Wedge paused where he was, glad to get a rest under the indomitable sun. Why did Figaro have to be in the middle of a boiling hot desert?
'These recon jobs are the pits...' he mumbled, waiting for Vicks to catch up. 'But we got some good deals, right? Even Shadow has to be pleased for all the stuff we got!' Vicks finally reached where Wedge was waiting and nodded.
'Oh yeah. Only 1000Gil for a Potion!' Wedge let himself grin eagerly.
'We only spent 500,000Gil and look at all the stuff we got!'
'Well... We'd better get going... I wonder why all those merchants were laughing at us...?' Wedge scowled.
'It's cause of these stupid undercover clothes Shadow made us wear. I told him yellow wasn't my colour... It clashes with my eyes...' Vicks let out a slight sigh.
'I don't think he likes us...' Wedge nodded.
'I know... But he'll feel much better when he sees the present we got him!' The two giggled eagerly and started to walk back towards the cave again. Yup, he would be pleased when he saw all the supplies and the extra special gift they had got. And it had only taken half of the funds for them to buy all this.
Shadow was almost asleep when the two idiots stumbled back into the cave, in a flurry of groans, grumbles and potions. He leapt up from where he was lay, making it seem like he had actually been training all this time.
'Where have you two nitwits been?' he asked angrily. Vicks and Wedge had dumped their loads on the ground and were now leaning against each other; trying to catch their breath.
'W... We had to carry all the stuff... back from Figaro...' Vicks stuttered, gaining an affirmative nod from Wedge.
'Y-yeah... It was heavy...'
'And hot...' Shadow rolled his eyes.
'Excuses, excuses...' he said, moving to the entrance of the cave; just to check how hot it was. His black ninja gear had a tendency to trap heat and make him pass out on warm days. He couldn't have that happen in front of the twits.
'Lets see what you got then,' he said, moving over to the pile of items. Wedge pulled a checklist out of his pocket and began to read things off.
'15 Potions, 5 Phoenix Downs, 3 Elixirs... Check,' Shadow nodded contently. At least they could follow a shopping list.
'20 Shuriken, 1 Crossbow, 2 Mythril swords and a couple of Cherry Squishies... Check,' Wedge went on. Shadow's eyes narrowed. Since when did he order Cherry Squishies?
'2 bags of popcorn, 17 single M&M's and a partridge in a pear tree... Check,' Vicks said, reading from his own checklist. Shadow turned to them both.
'Wait just a minu...' he started, only to be interuppted by a grinning Wedge.
'And last, but not least, a present for our dear leader...'
'Check!' Vicks said, far more enthusiastically than Shadow would have liked. What the hell was going on here?
'What present...?' he said, feeling very uneasy about all this. Wedge moved towards the pile of items and began to rummage around.
'Nope, not there... Is tha... No, not that either... Wait a second... No, wait... Ah-HAH! Here it is!'
'Quick, quick! Give it to hiim!' Shadow's eyes moved over to where Vicks was clapping his hands eagerly and jumping up and down on the spot. This was not right...
'Here it is!' Wedge said, bounding towards Shadow with the energy of the supreme leader when he was on a sugar rush (not a pretty sight) The assassin looked down into Wedge's outstretched hand.
The anguished scream could be heard back in Narshe, where Locke was gingerly testing out the Aston Choco. He frowned; looking down at Gogo.
'Sounds like someone's trying out one of Edgar's patented designs,' he quipped. Edgar, who happened to be following one of his beautiful female lab hands around, heard and frowned.
'Heeey!' he complained. Gogo and Locke began to snigger.
'B-but, we thought you'd like it!' Wedge was screaming as Shadow chased him and Vicks around the cave.
'We just wanted to show our appreciation for your fine leadership!' Vicks yelled back, dodging an angrily thrown Shuriken. Shadow paused for a moment, turning a funny shade of red under his mask.
'YOU SPENT ALL OUR CASH ON A TOASTER FOR ME?!' he yelled, kicking the now mangled present harshly. Wedge and Vicks nodded dopily.
'Well, yeah! Everyone likes toast!' Vicks said. Wedge nodded.
'And it's not just a toaster. If you kick it hard enough, it turns into a highly explosive toaster! The King of Figaro himself built it!' Shadow was about to throw a Shuriken right between Wedge's eyes when a beep sounded from the toaster. He looked down.
'I swear I'm going to kill that supreme leader for sending you two out with me...'
The explosion could also be heard back in Narshe. Gogo was now testing out the Aston Choco; gingerly pushing a few of the buttons. He and Locke exchanged glances.
'Yup. Someone trying out one of Edgar's designs,'
'Hey! I heard that!!'
'Heh heh heh...'