Alone
Chapter One: Burdens
Beginning Notes: Welcome to possibly the longest songficceh I've ever seen. The rundown is as followed. Each pairing has a line (and sometimes a picceh from the song for a good mental image) from the song to beh used. Every pairing from the ikkou will beh here, so beh patient for your favourite, although I hope you read them all [winks]. Each one also has a dedication, either someone who introduced meh to a couple or supports/inspires meh in a couple. Cuz I'm a whore for you all [grins].
Warnings: Shounen-ai. Alone c/r: Sumiyo Mutsumi/ab:fly/Mikuni Shimokawa
Saiyuki c/r: Kazuya Minekura
Chappeh Notes: Sorry there's so many notes in this chappeh. [sweatdrops] Umm...the pairing for this one wasn't in the song, but I decided to put this one and the next one in too. Author's prerogative. [sticks tongue out] This chappeh is 38, and dedicated to Karot, for her lovely triangles. Cuz it's always fun to see a jealous Gojyo [peace sign].
And now, finally, on with the ficceh!
--All people coming and going carry heavy burdens--
Rain fell steadily on the tent canvas. Another cloudy day had exploded into rainfall in the night hours. At this rate, Sanzo mused, he might never sleep again. Or maybe it was time to consider becoming nocturnal.
It had been going for about a week now. It was cloudy all day, but waited until nightfall to actually rain. This pattern made it difficult to sleep, especially for the pair whom rain made uneasy.
Hakkai was dealing with this problem as well, though it was slightly easier for him to fall asleep after some time. The emotions running through him wore him out, while Sanzo, who suppressed emotions outside as well as in, found it nearly impossible to sleep for more than a few hours.
None of them were asleep yet, however. Sunset was only an hour or so past, and camp had just been pitched. Under the canvas shelter, Hakkai was stirring dinner, a glazed faraway look in his eyes. Goku and Gojyo, finally tired of watching rain fall or playing cards every night, were splashing around outside the shelter, stomping puddles at each other and having a round of name calling.
Sanzo sat under the canvas, watching the others with mild interest. He took a long drag of his cigarette, crossing his arms against his chest. The night was cool here, and the rain made it cooler.
"I can't tell if it's cold because of the weather or because of the rain," Hakkai said suddenly, showing his talent for knowing exactly what his companions were thinking.
"The rain -is- the weather," he replied, knowing very well what the brunette meant, but deciding to be difficult.
The youkai's eyes, which hadn't lost their faraway look even as he spoke, now focused on the blond. "Bad night ahead. Have you been sleeping?"
Sanzo closed his eyes, inhaling the calming scent of cigarette smoke. "You of all people should know the answer to that question."
He began to dish out the food. "Yes, I suppose I do. I'm just trying to make conversation."
"Well, do me a favour and don't."
He sighed, and then nodded. Leaving the shelter, he went to fetch Gojyo and Goku.
As predicted, the storm continued heavily through the night. The lightning and thunder, a factor present the past few nights, was absent tonight. The monkey and the kappa slept soundly because of this, agitating Sanzo all the more.
Hakkai was lying down as well, but he wasn't sleeping. It was easier to get through the night when Gojyo or Goku were awake. Then at least he had something to focus on besides his own thoughts. He looked over at the last member of their party. Sanzo sat with his back to Hakkai, facing the clearing in the trees.
"Do you think tomorrow night will be clear?" Hakkai asked, getting up.
Sanzo jumped a bit, surprised by the interruption of silence. "Don't do that."
Hakkai sat down beside the monk, wrapping his blanket around himself. "My apologies."
Sanzo took out a cigarette and lit it before speaking again. "If it doesn't clear up soon, we're going to have to do this by night."
"Or teach Goku how to drive," Hakkai smiled the tiniest bit.
"I'd rather you fall asleep at the wheel," Sanzo's face didn't show it, but his voice was lined with humour.
Hakkai yawned. "Be careful what you wish for."
"If you drive us off the road, I'll kill you."
"How paradoxal," he wrapped the blanket tighter around his shoulders, "I try to go to sleep but I can't stop thinking. So I'm trying to think of anything else to say."
Sanzo looked straight ahead. "A diversion."
The brunette nodded. "But unfortunately our main diversions are deep asleep."
He shrugged. "So wake 'em up."
"That wouldn't be right. It's not their problem," he drew his knees up to his chest, "Besides, then they wouldn't get up tomorrow."
Sanzo sighed. "It's hard enough to wake them up when they sleep well."
"All the more reason to leave them be."
"Then why'd you bring it up?"
It was Hakkai's turn to sigh. "A diversion."
Sanzo looked over at the two sleeping forms. "It pisses me off."
"What?" Hakkai followed his gaze, "The fact that they're sleeping?"
"They are and I'm not," he leaned back, resting on his elbows, "It's like they don't have anything to worry about. Nothing holding them down. I can't help but get angry at them for it."
Hakkai was silent for a moment, surprised at the amount the normally stoic monk was sharing with him. He had to choose his words carefully. "It's not true though."
"Hmm?"
"You know it's not true. Both of them have had a lot of grief in their past, and a lot more to look forward to. But they've figured out something we haven't."
Sanzo was beginning to think the lack of sleep was taking its toll on his friend. "And what might that be?"
"They don't let these things bother them as much as we do," he continued without a beat.
"If this is going to turn into one of those 'life is wonderful and every day is worth living' speeches, save it. I've heard enough bullshit today."
Hakkai didn't say anything.
"I'm not looking for some way to forget all this and be cured. If that was gonna happen, I think a decade or two would've done it for me. All I need is something to get me through the night."
The youkai lay down next to him. "I suppose that's one way to go about it. Treat every time as the only one."
"Would you quit trying to put logic to it?" Sanzo squashed out his spent cigarette.
"It's what I do," he replied sadly.
The blond rolled his eyes. "Whatever."
After a few moments of silence, Hakkai propped himself up slightly. He looked at Sanzo with an unreadable look on his face.
Sanzo looked up at him. "What?"
Hakkai exhaled a breath, and then leaned down again, kissing the thoroughly shocked monk.
Sanzo sat up quickly. "What the hell was that?"
The brunette was silent for awhile, gathering his thoughts. Then he threw his blanket over the two of them and lay down.
"Getting through the night."
Without even realizing it, Sanzo forgot all about the rain...at least for the night.
--Now I can surely walk on and on forever--
A/N: Well? What do ya think for my first ever 38? I know it's short and probably heavy cliché, but it's a start! [swirly eyes] I hope these get better... Comments please!!