Lana
Severus couldn't remember the last time he cried; he was convinced that until the moment Dumbledore told him Lily had lost the baby, he had never cried; at least not like that. He was unable to stop the constant flow of tears running down his cheeks, even hours after he was told.
Severus sat with Lily long after the others had left. Madame Pomfrey tried to kick him out multiple times, but he refused to move. Professor Dumbledore finally gave him permission to sit with Lily as long as he needed, and told him he was excused from his classes for the next day.
Lily hadn't suffered a miscarriage; no one was quite sure what had happened, but Madame Pomfrey was positive it had been a form of magic. Lily's stomach was perfectly flat; there was no way a miscarriage could have taken place. As much as Severus wished James were capable of that powerful of magic so he'd have someone to blame, he quickly dismissed the idea, knowing James wouldn't do something as bad as that, even to Lily.
She awoke around 7 AM the next morning with a scream of terror. Severus had drifted off to sleep, but immediately rushed to her side when he heard her.
"Lily, baby, shh, it's ok… Madame Pomfrey's coming, shh…" Severus whispered, looking up to see the Hogwarts nurse come bustling up.
"Severus, go get Professor Dumbledore, he wanted to know when she was awake." Madame Pomfrey instructed. Severus gave one longing glance towards Lily before rushing out of the ward to get Dumbledore.
Madame Pomfrey busied herself with trying to calm Lily down, as she was now bawling loudly. Five minutes later, Severus and Dumbledore arrived, and Dumbledore immediately went over to Lily's bedside to try and help Madame Pomfrey.
"Severus, come here… She might listen to you." Professor Dumbledore instructed, waving his hand. Severus made his way over to her and gently took her hand, trying to will her to calm down. At his touch, she seemed to slow down a bit, and finally after a moment or two, she was crying softly.
"I'm sorry… I'm so, so, so sorry…" she mumbled beneath her cries.
"Lily, honey… Listen to me… Whatever they did to you, it's not your fault. Calm down, you have to tell us the whole story." Professor Dumbledore murmured, brushing a few stray hairs away from here cheek.
"I can't… I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry…" Lily was still hysterical, shaking her head back and forth.
"Lily baby, please… I'm here, we're all here… You need to talk to us, just calm down, please…" Severus begged, gripping her hand tighter.
Once again, Lily seemed to calm down at the sound of his voice. She turned to face him for the first time since she had woken up, and a fresh wave of tears overcame her.
"It hurt so much… He – he took her from me, it hurt… I felt so bad… It still hurts…" Lily sobbed, resting her free hand on her stomach.
"Who took her, Lil? Who did this?" Severus said softly, his red-rimmed eyes now threatening to overflow once more.
"He.. he came up to me and forced me to go with him… He threw me to the ground and did some sort of spell… and then I felt her being ripped out of me… I heard screaming… And then I blacked out… It hurts… God, it hurts…"
"Lily, this is important. Who did this?" Dumbledore wiped her forehead with a damp cloth Madame Pomfrey had provided.
"Voldemort… He went and killed my baby…" Lily started crying harder.
Severus' eyes widened. "Voldemort? You don't think he knew and is trying to get back at me?"
Dumbledore shook his head, "Everything that goes on in Hogwarts stays in Hogwarts. He wouldn't have known. Your father – He is a Death Eater, correct?"
Severus nodded, "He is in Voldemort's inner circle."
"Did you tell him?"
"Yes."
Professor Dumbledore shook his head, "Write a letter to your father, act as if he is the one that did it. Send it, and the moment you receive an answer, bring it to me."
Severus nodded, "Yes sir."
Madame Pomfrey then came into the room with a thick, steaming liquid. "Here, have her drink this; it'll give her a dreamless sleep." She then poured the liquid down Lily's throat, and within a matter of seconds, she ceased to cry and her eyes closed.
Dumbledore sighed, then sat on the bed next to hers. "This just gives me one more reason to want to kill that son of a bitch. Tom Riddle – a great student, Head Boy in fact. However, he is now the reason Lily is suffering." He turned to Severus. "Are you still willing?"
Severus nodded vigorously, "I am more willing than I was yesterday, and I promise you, Lord Voldemort will be defeated."
Dumbledore nodded, "Good, good… Now go write that letter, and remember, come to me the moment you receive a reply."
Severus nodded, and with one last glance towards Lily's sleeping form, he went up to the Slytherin Tower and up to his dormitory, where Lucius Malfoy was sleeping.
Severus quietly got out a piece of parchment, and with quivering hands, he started to write.
I>Dear Father,
Why did my Lord, Lord Voldemort, insist on taking my child away from me? I wish to know why, for he nearly killed the child's mother in the process. Is it because she is Muggle born? Is it because we are so young, or is it because I told you I wasn't coming back home for the summer? I must have an answer, father, I must know why you chose this destiny for me. I shall be joining the Death Eaters in less than seven months, and I must know why my Lord chose this path for me.
As I said before, she is the kin of one of the greatest wizarding families of our time. If you think it matters and wish for me to tell you, then I will. Please Father, tell me why this is now my destiny.
Severus/I>
He spent all day and all night in the hospital wing with Lily, only getting up to eat breakfast and await for his father's letter. Surprisingly, the very next day he received one, and before reading it he went directly to Dumbledore, who was now by Lily's bedside.
"Professor, he has written back." Severus announced breathlessly, handing Dumbledore the letter.
Dumbledore opened it carefully and began to read out loud, pausing every now and then.
"Dear Severus,
Your Lord wished for you to be strong; he believed having a family to support, especially an infant child, was too much for you to handle at such a young age. Instead of watching one of his followers, especially one with so much potential, become weak, he had decided to make sure your loyalty would not falter. He took the necessary precautions, and he was merciful enough to spare the woman. Be grateful she is still with you. Our Lord took pity on you, Severus. All he took was a baby that was not yet born; She had no value, she was still inside the womb. Do not think your Lord has betrayed you, for in fact, he is willing to make sacrifices to see to it you are happy. Thank him, Severus, for he spared her.
Sincerely,
S. L. Snape."
Professor Dumbledore slowly dropped his hands, his body shaking with fury. Severus, however, was now in a state of shock; his pale face had turned even paler, and his black eyes had a faraway look to them.
"It's my fault." Severus whispered, looking down at Lily's sleeping form. "It's my fault this happened."
Dumbledore shook his head, "You couldn't have know. It is not your fault, it is Lord Voldemort's fault, it is his own bearing."
Severus gripped Lily's hand. "No, no… You're wrong. It's my fault she's in so much pain; it's my fault the baby died… It's MY fault…"
Dumbledore stood up and set his hands on Severus' shoulders, slowly tightening his grip.
"Severus, listen to me. Are you listening to me? It is NOT your fault; it is only Lord Voldemort's fault. You couldn't have known, and I know you would have done everything in your power to prevent it."
Severus shook his head, "No, I left her… I left her in Hogsmeade… I told my father, and he told Lord Voldemort… I shouldn't have left her, I shouldn't have told him… God, it's all my fault." Tears were now silently streaming down his face and he didn't bother wiping them off.
"Severus, stop it. It is NOT your fault, nor will it ever be. Stop blaming yourself, you couldn't have known, there was no way. You can't change the past, do not blame yourself."
Severus turned his head up towards Dumbledore. "Then whose fault is it?"
"Blame Lord Voldemort; Blame your father; Blame the
Fates; but do NOT blame yourself, for it is not your fault."