She was surrounded by scarlet and gold, as a reference to her House: Scarlet sheets, golden tassels, scarlet curtains, gold fixtures, scarlet armchairs, and a golden desk. The floor was wooden, freshly swept, and a painting of a vase of lilies protected the door. Dumbledore had conveniently chosen the room that was adjacent to the Slytherin 7th Year Boy's dorm. Placing a passageway at the head of Severus' bed that led directly to the room, he warned them not to do anything they'd regret.
It was the day almost the whole school left for Christmas Holiday, three days after Lily was attacked and two days before Christmas. She had been moved to the room an hour previous, silently rejoicing at the fact she wouldn't have to face any of the three remaining Marauders. She still hurt, although not nearly as much physically as emotionally. She knew Severus blamed himself, although he had no reason to. He had done what any son would do; he told his father about what was happening in his life, confident his father would not betray him.
She lay on her bed, occasionally glancing out the window at the waning half-moon. She wanted desperately for Severus to come through the door, but no matter how hard she wished he hadn't appeared yet.
She hadn't cried since the day she had woken up and had to relive her experiences; she was too numb. She placed a hand on her now empty belly, trying to wish the baby back in. She still couldn't believe what had happened, after all she and Severus had been through. Overcoming James had been hard enough, and when she found out she was pregnant, she was terrified Severus would leave her. He hadn't however, and their relationship grew.
A creak interrupted her train of thought; she looked up to see Severus standing there, slowly closing the door behind him. He looked at her, his black eyes reflecting the little light in the room. He made his way over to her bed and she scooted over, making room for him. After he climbed in, Severus wrapped his arms around her and pulled her up against him, trying to get as close as possible.
"Are you doing ok?" he asked softly, resting his chin on the top of her head.
"I'm still alive… Does that count?"
"It's as good as anyone could hope for right now." Severus answered, a tone of sorrow filling his words.
"Can you stay with me tonight?" she asked, intertwining her ankles with his.
"I'll stay as long as you want me to." He answered, scooting down a bit and kissing her gently.
"We're going to be laying here forever then." She said with little humor.
"Then I'll know for sure I died and went to heaven." He kissed her once more. "Christmas is in two days… Are you going to stay in here the whole time, or are you going to come with me and eat something three times a day?"
She shrugged the best she could, "I'm not very hungry, but if you insist, I'll try."
"That's a good girl…" Severus tucked a stray piece of fiery red hair back behind her ear. "I don't suppose you'd want to stay in here the whole time, would you?"
"As long as I don't have to see James, I'll be ok."
"Why, what's wrong? He didn't do anything, did he?"
She shook her head, "No, but I feel… I'm not sure. Vulnerable, I guess, and I know he'd take advantage of that."
"I wouldn't be so sure of that if I were you, Lil… I know Remus would like to see you, he misses you."
"Let him miss me… I just want to stay here with you." She cuddled up to him, resting her hand on the nape of his neck and kissing him once more.
After a few minutes of this, Severus broke away and looked down at her. "Baby, are you sure about this?"
She nodded, kissing him once more. "I've never been so sure of anything in my life… Just trust me, Sev, you'll see."
Looking back on that night, Severus would have said
it was more need than want. They both had cried, not from physical pain
but from the memory of wanting something so badly, and then having it taken
right out from under them. He had kissed the tears off her cheeks, but
allowed his to spill down his own cheeks without remorse. With her, he
felt alive; he wasn't the corpse he had been for the past 72 hours. Instead,
he felt whole. Both pieces of the puzzle, when joined, were a piece of
art. To both parties, it was no longer an action; it was an emotion. For
the first time, they hadn't slept together… they made love.
So denied, so I lied, are you the now or never kind?
In a day and a day, love, I'm gonna be gone for good again
Are you willing to be had? Are you cool with just tonight?
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
Put your name on the line along with place and time
Wanna stay, not to go, I wanna ditch the logical
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
All my time is froze in motion
Can't I stay an hour or two or more?
Don't let me let you go...
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
~ Eve6, "Here's to the Night"