Lana
Lily tried her hardest not to think about the baby, knowing Severus was listening. She hadn't officially told either of them nearly two weeks after she found out, scared it might be Severus' but even more terrified it could be James'. To the world, her having a baby with James would seem right, but to her, it would seem incredibly wrong. She had always wanted children, but with Severus. Having a child with Severus was not an option at the moment, she knew that. Dumbledore knew it, Remus knew it, and Severus knew it. Besides those three people and herself, no one had any clue of her relations with Severus, as far as she knew.
She cornered James one evening, while he was reading the Evening Prophet. Feeling her stare bearing into him, he looked up from the paper to her curved figure.
"Yes?" he asked slightly impatiently.
"James, I have something to tell you." Lily said, sitting down across the table from him.
He waited for a moment, and when she didn't say anything else he raised his eyebrow. "And what would that be?"
"I'm pregnant." Lily said quietly, looking him directly in the eye.
"You don't seem too happy about it." James murmured, after the shocked expression fell off his face.
"Neither do you." Lily shot back. "Voldemort's running loose, I have a reason to not want to bring a child into the world at the present time. What's your excuse?"
James looked back down at his paper. "I just think it's a bad time to be having a baby. I'm happy for you, Lil, don't get me wrong."
"You had a part in this to, so why aren't you happy for yourself as well?" she asked uncertainly.
James shifted in his seat, "I don't know. Give me a bit to get used to the idea."
Lily sighed, "In seven months, I'm having this baby with or without you. What's your choice?"
James looked up once again, surprised at her sudden
bitchiness. "Lily, what do you mean by that?"
"Do you want to have this baby or do you not want
to? Because if it's an inconvenience to you, just tell me and I'll leave."
James shook his head, "Lil, I have no idea what you're talking about. Of course I want to have this baby, it's just bad timing, that's all. Give me a few days and I'll be as happy and excited as you want me to be."
"Why can't you be happy and excited NOW?" Lily whined, "When I told him I was pregnant last time, he was so happy… He picked me up and hugged me… He was so happy…"
James was now thoroughly confused, "What do you mean, 'him' and 'last time'?"
"Why can't you be like him right now? Why?" Lily demanded, standing up and starting to pace. "He was so happy…"
"LILY! Calm down… Who are you talking about?"
"My husband… I'm talking about my husband…" Lily was now shaking her head furiously, turning quickly every few steps. "Why can't you be happy?"
James got up cautiously and walked over to her. Slowly, he put his arms around her and hugged her gently. "Baby, calm down… I'm right here… I'm happy, I'm excited we're having a baby… calm down honey."
Lily struggled against him for a moment, then slowly surrendered into his grip. She closed her eyes slightly and leaned against him. "I'm tired."
James shook his head, "Do you want me to go get Dumbledore? He might want to make sure you're ok."
"No, Papa's busy. I just want to sleep." Lily forced herself out of James' grip. "I'm going upstairs."
She stumbled up the stairs and into their room, finally collapsing on the bed. She laid down and pulled the blankets over her, not bothering to take off her robes and shoes.
Severus… Severus… Are you listening? I need to talk to you.
Lily? Are you ok? She smiled. Each time she talked to him lately, the first thing he would ask is whether or not she was ok.
No, I'm not.
What's wrong? Did James hurt you? Are you sick? She could almost hear the sincerity in his voice.
You're going to kill me.
Just tell me, baby… What's wrong?
That's what's wrong.
Lily, just tell me. Please?
Do you promise you won't kill me?
You've been hanging around James too much again. I swear on Merlin's grave, I won't even touch you.
That's what I'm afraid of. Lily admitted.
It can't be that bad… What's wrong?
I just blew up at James because he wasn't happy.
Why wasn't he happy?
Because I'm pregnant.
There was a pause as Lily could just barely make out a fast-paced jumble of thoughts. Congratulations baby… How far along?
Two months.
Once again, she could hear his quick mental calculations. …James is the father, isn't he?
That's what I'm afraid of.
Oh God Lily… Is it mine?
I don't know. Lily sighed aloud. Do you want it to be?
Of course. Starting a family with you would be wonderful.
There's a way… A Muggle way… To tell who the father is. After it's born, of course. Would you like to do that? I couldn't do it with James, or else he'd know what was going on.
Yes, I would. Can't your Papa tell though?
Probably, but I don't want to have to ask another favor of him.
Ok baby… I'm happy for you, honey.
Are you smiling?
I'm smiling just as much as I do when I'm with you.
Good. I want you to be it's Dad, not James.
It would be much safer if it was James', though.
I know… Lily sighed once more, But I still hope it's yours.
So do I, Lil. So do I.