Potter vs

Potter vs. Evans – Chapter 3 – Of Love Denials and Proposals

When James heard what Lily said, he couldn't guess it was drunkenness, for he gave her a hangover potion. But he couldn't think it was her normal self, either. "C-can y-you r-repeat, please?" he stuttered, still astonished.

Lily seemed much comfortable, as if she and James were full-dressed and old friends. "You heard. I said I dare you to kiss me."

James's eyes seemed to jump of its orbs. "W-what?"

"Listen, Potter, I don't have all the time. Will you kiss me or not? But remember you have to do what I ask you as a dare. Remember the game's rules."

"I… I…"

"Don't you want to kiss me?"

Truth was sucked from his throat, from his heart. "Indeed, I do want to kiss you, but I can't. We're enemies, don't you remember?"

"Indeed we're enemies, but still, we can kiss."

"You're mad."

"Yes, I'm mad, but still, you have to kiss me."

James walked near her, and touched his lips faintly on her cheek, and as if it was very cold, he soon removed his mouth from her cheek.

Lily seemed to be indignant. "So it's the best the famous kisser James Potter can do? I guess I'll have to teach you some things."

Before he could say anything, her lips were touching his, and before he could breathe or move, he was kissing back.

Neither James nor Lily could tell how much time they stayed that way, doing what they were doing, but it was indeed too much time for the alcohol altered state, in which Lily were, ended. As it happened, Lily just find herself… in Potter's arms being kissed by him?

It could only be another of those exquisite dreams, but it wasn't of course, since none of her dreams were so real, and, after all, she couldn't be kissing James Potter!

So, before she could even think, she pulled her arms away from James's back, and used them to push him away from her.

He looked dazed and sheepish. She looked astonished and embarrassed.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING, POTTER?" she screamed at the top of her lungs.

James seemed not to believe in what he was hearing. After what happened, that moment, it had been magic, but not magic as they used to do magic, but a most powerful kind of magic in which he could feel himself out of the world, and at the same time, the most happy being in it, after everything how could Lily be so Lilyish again? And after asking the kiss as a dare, and after being the one who pulled him into the kiss, how could she?

"Hey! It was your dare!" he said in the most serious and non-kidding tone he could.

"My dare? You're lying, of course. I wouldn't never ever ask you to… to… to do what you've already done."

"You asked me to kiss you. I kissed you on the cheek, and then, you pulled me into this kiss. And I'm not lying. I can't, did you forget it?"

Lily blushed and said very, very faintly "Well, but I can't quite remember anything. Maybe I was still drunk."

"Impossible," said James "I gave you some of my hangover potion"

"Some potion you made, Potter. And we both know how greatly you deal with potions" she said sarcastically trying to sound annoying.

He bent his head sadly; she felt an urge to embrace him, but she restrained herself.

"Potter…" she began, but he told her by gestures to keep her mouth shut; but it wasn't likely for Lily Evans to obey James Potter's orders. "Potter," she continued, and James didn't make any objection for her speaking "Potter, let's stop this game, shall we?"

He shrugged, and said "That's okay by me."

Lily had never ever seen James Potter so quiet and miserable in her whole life. It made her feel something inside her chest, which she supposed it was her heart, although she didn't thought at the moment she had a heart, for letting James stay so miserable. But she wouldn't do anything. She couldn't. She had her pride.

"Er… Potter…?" she began again, a bit constrained, trying to engage conversation, but he didn't seem inclined to talk. To say the truth, neither was she. They didn't want to look each other into the eyes.

"What, Evans?" he asked, almost automatically.

"What time is it?"

He pulled his wrist closer to his face, but something unexpected was happening. His watch's hands seemed to be running a hundred times as fast as usual.

"I guess it's the same thing that happened to my watch. This place doesn't seem to give us a notion of time." Said Lily.

"It may be." Said James, without looking at her.

"I guess it's better for us to leave here."

"Maybe."

Lily seemed irritated. "Yuck! Could you please stop talking nonsense? Everything you say is may be, maybe."

James too was indignant. "Could you please stop being so Evans? I hate your inquiries so much. You talk as if we were old friends, and I'll tell you something, I'd rather be eaten by a hippogriff than spend a night like this with you!" he snapped, and suddenly realized that the truth potion's effect seemed to have ended.

Lily was hurt, but didn't show it. She just said, "I'll prepare another hangover potion, for I don't want to act weird again. I guess your potion made me do things I wouldn't ever do."

"Do whatever you want, just don't direct your word towards me."

"I'd rather kiss Snape." She stopped, and went on "But I guess I did something worse: kissing you."

It was the first time James actually looked at her after the kiss incident. "Let's forget it, okay? It was just a truth or dare game, but nobody needs to know it."

She nodded in agreement. "I guess I need to sleep." She said, and he shrugged.

She seemed to realize just now that she was wearing only underwear, and blushed. She laid on the bed, and covered herself with the sheets.

You love him! You love him!

Pray it's not my stupid subconscious again!

I'm a part of you, dear.

Well, I can't deny I don't dislike him.

That's a good beginning.

I actually HATE him. If I didn't, why should I be always willing to make him nervous?

That's your unique way to call his attention.

You think it. I don't.

I'm you, Lily. But I'm just a part of you.

Are you the sense or the sensibility?

Well, you'll have to guess what am I.

Will I?

Yep.

Bless me! I have to discover what I feel towards Potter, and then I have to discover which thing are you… that's too much for a sixteen years old girl's head!

You already know.

Do I?

Yep.

Could you please stop saying so many yeps? It's giving me a headache!

So stop asking dull questions.

Okay, but if I really loved James… I mean, Potter, why should I be so happy in making him nervous or irritated?

I told you! It's your way to call his attention!

But he does the same to me.

Maybe he does hate you. I can't tell his feelings, for like you, I don't know them. But truth is that it's possible that he loves you.

It's possible but it's not probable. It's also possible that I'm in love with Snape, but it's not probable at all!

Very true.

Hey! You had to argue with me!

No, I don't. I'll stop saying exactly what you want to hear but don't like to admit. Turn me off.

With pleasure, ma'am.

And Lily finally slept.

**

James was still sitting on the floor, feeling the heat from the fireplace, and thinking about… Evans?!

He shook his head firmly determined not to think about her.

Potter, Potter, do you forget what she is? Your enemy! You aren't suppose to have this kind of thoughts about her, he thought to himself, Yeah, but she's really a cutie.

He shook his head again, and tried to wake up from this dream (A/N James is warning me now that it's a nightmare. Shut up, James, everybody knows you are going to end up with her!).

He turned his neck and lifted his face to see her better. Not bad. Not bad, really. He shook his head again, and looked to the other side, much farther than her.

Potter, you have a girlfriend and thousands of unofficial affairs. Why are you thinking about Evans? He asked himself mentally, although he already knew the answer: Because she's the only girl in Hogwarts who wouldn't ever found a James Potter's fan club; because she is different from the others; because she kisses better than any other girl; because she's the prettiest girl in Hogwarts; because she's special; because… HEY! What am I thinking! She must have given me a love potion or something. But I'm not in love with her. I just can't be. Even with potions…

What's the thing you most value in a girl?, a tiny voice inside his head asked him. That's easy, he thought, nice breasts… but, well, many girls have nice breasts, so it isn't anything very special. The right girl, I mean right to date and have a good relationship, not the one I would spend the rest of my life because I won't marry nor would I live with the same woman for ages, but the right girl would be a clever one, who tried less to please me, I mean… almost all the girls in this school do everything to please me, and it's annoying sometimes. I like being surprised.

Like you are with Evans?, Er… she kinda surprises me sometimes, but…

Do you hate her?, Sure!

What do you most hate about her?, well, she's always doing things I don't expect, she always argues with me, she always do everything to make me nervous…

So she displeases you? True.

You already said the thing you most value in a girl is her being not always trying to please you, it means displease, you also said you don't like girls who doesn't surprise you; What's the conclusion? Maybe I… NO! That's impossible.

Not much, actually. I! HATE! EVANS! I! WOULD! RATHER! KISS! SNAPE'S! BUTT! THAN! LIKE! HER!

You know what? Love and hate are almost the same. Love can become hate so easily. A person who loves another, can, from night to day, start hating the other. You hate her just because you two are so alike. You hate her because everything she does is different from what the other girls do. You actually don't hate her. Maybe I kinda don't hate her… but I can't.

**

Lily looked like an angel while she slept, thought James, not even a bit alike the Lily he knew… sometimes pulling pranks on him, sometimes doing nothing but study, sometimes kissing him?! Well, it happened once, but for him, it happened thousands of times, in his dreams… or in his nightmares, like he preferred to say, although he actually didn't say anything, for he didn't want to be teased about it. While asleep, Lily had a calmness that only babies have; much different from Lily while awake, who was always hyper energetic and doing all and everything.

She twinkled some time before actually opening her eyes, then she yawned and stretched her limbs. Then she saw James.

"Potter!", Lily complained astonished, pulling the sheets to cover herself, "what the hell are you doing here in my room?"

"Shush!" he whispered. "We are in the cabin, forgot it?"

"Ow." She complained again, "I guess I was dreaming."

"Certainly. You also talked during your sleep."

She widened her eyes and blushed. "I did what?" Oh, God! Maybe I said something I wasn't supposed to? Pray, let a lightning hit me this very moment.

"You muttered 'James, James' all the time." He said, grinning.

"Ow, did I?", she asked again, stopping to blush. She understood he didn't actually listen at anything at all, for she didn't say 'James, James' anytime in the dream; she said something like 'you won't take Harry'… she didn't know why, but she kept having this dream over and over. Maybe it happened in another incarnation? Probably it did not. "I guess you're mistaken, for I said I had a dream, not a nightmare."

"Okay, seriously…" he started.

"What?", she asked impatiently.

"You snore…", he said, "and you also drool."

"I don't!", she shouted nervously.

"Oh, yes, you do."

"No, I don't!"

"Okay, what were you dreaming?"

"I don't drool, nor do I snore!"

"Okay, okay, I was just kidding, but what or who do you dream about?"

"It's none of your business."

He rolled his eyes. "Look, Evans. I'm trying to make this pernicious day a little bit more pleasant, and I would be glad if you helped just a bit. I know you hate me, but let's just pretend we are friends. Just as a pastime. We can be Potter and Evans again after they rescue us, but can we be just Lily and James now?"

She glanced at him, suspicious and astonished, and somewhere in his eyes she found he really wanted to be in good terms with her… at least that moment.

"Okay," she said, offering her hand to shake.

James picked her hand using his own, and, instead of shaking it, he kissed it. Lily instantaneously pulled her hand back.

"What?" James asked.

She shrugged, pretending to be more comfortable. "So… let's see if our clothes are dried? I guess we are here for a long time now. Long enough at least to dry the clothes, since they are near the fire."

She wrapped herself with the sheets and walked over to the fireplace. James walked after her. "What?", she said, astonished, "They are wetter than before!", and turning to James, "Do you have anything to do with it?"

He shrugged. "I guess I wouldn't soak my own robes," he said, pointing at them, which were as wet as her clothes. "Nor would I soak your clothes. It's visual pollution to see you half-naked." He said, and then stopped to see Lily's reaction. Although he didn't actually find her being half-naked unpleasant, he loved to tease her. He liked to see the effect his words had on her.

But she seemed not to care for it now, at least not verbally, for she always argued with him and now she didn't say a word. James didn't know whether she preferred to ignore him or if she really didn't care.

"So," he continued, "What were you dreaming about?"

"Well, I was dreaming about Sirius.", she lied.

James turned his face, for he didn't want her to see the expression he made. But it was useless; she took notice of it. "Are you jealous?", she asked.

James gulped, and answered rather too quickly, pretending not to understand the question in its total meaning "Of course not, why would I be jealous of Sirius? He gets many girls, and I never felt jealous for any. We don't have this friendship jealous, I know to separate things."

She took a deep breath of courage to say, "I meant to ask you if you felt jealous about me."

"No," he said, "Why would I?"

She seemed kind of hurt "Yeah, why would you?"

They've stayed quiet for some time. James has broken the silence. "Evans…?"

She pretended not to hear, and started singing a lullaby that her mother used to sing to her "Are you sleeping?/ Are you sleeping?"

"Evans…?", he repeated, this time more anxious.

"Brother John/ Brother John…"

Again, she pretended not to hear, and sang her lullaby louder. "Sleep into the morning/ Sleep into the morning…"

"EVANS!", he shouted.

She stopped singing the song exact in the "Ding, Dang, Dong" part.

"What, Potter?"

"Nothing," he said grimly, so she went on with her lullaby.

There was a loud silence again. So loud they could not bother it.

"Evans!" "Potter!", they said (James and Lily respectively) at the same time, and blushed vigorously.

"What?", they asked together again, and just didn't blush again because they were still very red.

"You first," said Lily.

"Please, you first."

"No, you."

"Okay… I didn't mean that," he said looking at the floor, "I actually do."

"Do what?"

"You know…", he lifted his head and looked into her eyes "I do feel jealous about you and Sirius."

Lily looked puzzled, and, somehow, unhappy. "You mean you two have this friendship jealousy?"

"No!", James almost shouted. He was almost there, and Lily had to discourage him exactly now! He pulled her by her shoulders. "You know what I mean, Evans. You're just pretending not to."

She pushed him. She looked as if she was holding a smile, and at the same time, wishing him not to have ever said that. "Y-you m-mean… y-you a-a-and I… I a-and y-yo-you?"

He nodded shyly.

"Nonsense! I think now you're the one who's drunk!"

He laughed nervously and said, as if there was another person in the room but Lily "Whoa! She asks me if I do feel jealous because of her, and when I answer that I really do, she says I'm drunk."

"Potter, just imagine… what would all the people in Hogwarts say if we… you know what!"

"To hell all the people in Hogwarts!", he shouted rather nervous "We don't even know if we're ever going to live this Goddamn place, and if we're ever going to see the 'people in Hogwarts' again."

"I know but…"

"You know but it's nonsense, isn't it?", he said, "I really agree with you. I don't know what happened to me. I'm really sorry. Don't tell anybody, or I'll be teased until death.", he laughed nervously "Well, look to whom I'm asking it! Exactly to the one who teases me more in that damn school!"

"And I'm your best friend's girlfriend!", said Lily, with false morality.

"Yeah, and I have a girlfriend who I was planning to propose to in the Yule Ball!", he said, half-lying, for he never intended to marry, but he decided to in this very moment of Lily's refusal.

Lily gulped. "Were you?"

"Yeah, you know, I'm the last Potter, and I have to give grandchildren to my folks."

"Very true," she said sadly. "But you're only 16!"

"I'm going to be 17 next month and… what's the matter? I'm not going to marry now, I'm just going to be engaged."

"Well, it's your life, your decisions."

"Exactly. I think being alone in this cabin may have made me feel odd about you and about me… but that was just it. I'm really very much sorry."

"Okay," said she, hiding a tear that had just rolled across her right cheek.

**

Much time had passed since their last talk. Lily was sitting on the bed, and he was sitting at the table; she was looking out window; he was looking out another.

It was at this very moment that the cabins door, which none of them was looking at, opened, making a huge noise. Both Lily and James looked at it.

**

To be continued…

A/N: Thanks Shanleigh for your beta reading (I've already uploaded the corrected version). I'd like to give also special thanks to everybody who reviewed the last chapters and apologies to StarChildHermione86 and Pool. Thanks to everybody for their patience.

The Girl Who Lives – herm_potter@yahoo.com