Dawn handed Spike's journal of poetry back to him. As he took it, he looked at her questioningly. "Did you really think they were good, or are you just trying to be nice?" He tilted his head and tried to judge the look on her face. "Be honest now."
"I am being honest, Spike. I really think they're good. Hey, you've had 125 years to improve!"
"But I only started writing again about 5 years ago, when I was isolating myself so much after Buffy came back…" He looked somewhat bewildered, but he was happy that Dawn did really seem to like his poetry. Now, he didn't feel so stupid about having written it.
She just shrugged. "Doesn't matter. They're still good." He buried the journal back in the very bottom of the trunk. He still didn't want it where anyone else was likely to discover it. "Spike." "Yeah Nibblet?" "Thanks for letting me read it." "Thanks for not laughing at me for writing it!"
He sat down close to her. "You seem to be getting back to your old self, Sweet Bit. I'm glad to see it. I was worried about you." She could see in his eyes that he really had been frightened for her, more than he was letting on. "You still haven't told me how this happened, Dawn. How'd you get turned? Do you remember?"
"Yeah, I remember." The smile dropped from her face, and she stared at the floor. He hated having to bring it up, but he had to find out.
"Was someone trying to get at the slayer by turning you?"
"I don't think so. It was just stupid. I should have known better. Both you and Buffy have warned me often enough that it's dangerous out there. But he said he just wanted to step outside to talk, because it was quieter."
"Who did?"
"Just some guy. Said his name was Jason. He'd been hitting on me all night."
"You liked this guy, huh?"
"No, not really. But I figured I could deal with him better by myself, without my friends there trying to egg me on to go for this guy. He could tell they were, and it was just encouraging him. I just wanted to tell him to leave me alone. He said he didn't think so, and the next thing I knew I was up against the wall, and he was biting me. I couldn't even scream."
She shuddered, and Spike wrapped an arm around her shoulder, trying to comfort her.
"That's all I remember until Buffy almost staked me and then dragged me here instead, and that part's all kind of hazy. It's like I was in some kind of fog, until you pulled me out of it."
She seemed terrified all over again, and Spike felt like a cad for having brought up her turning, especially since she'd seemed so calm and happy just moments before. "I'm sorry for bringing up bad memories, Bit", he said in practically a whisper. "Forgive me."
She nodded and leaned into him. "I wanted to tell you. I needed to tell someone." He held her as she calmed down again. Finally, she pulled away and wiped a few tears from her eyes. "Sorry, Spike. I'll be ok now."
When he was sure she wasn't going to break down, he got up and looked through his stuff. "I'm almost out of cigarettes. I'm going to go out and pick some up. Promise you'll wait here? I don't want you wandering around by yourself yet."
"Why can't I come with you?"
"I'm not going to corrupt you, taking you with me when I'm buying booze or cigarettes."
She rolled her eyes at him. "Hey, I'm not a little kid. I'm pretty sure I can handle it."
"Please, Nibblet. Just stay here. I promise I'll take you out somewhere tomorrow night. Ok?"
She sighed. He was as stubborn as Buffy. "Ok, I'll wait here."
"I won't be long", he said as he left.
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As soon as he'd gotten a fair distance away from the crypt, he started running. He ran all the way to The Bronze without stopping, a benefit of not getting out of breath due to not having to breathe. He had the description that Buffy had given him, and now he had a name. Spike wandered in and started looking around. He saw a group about the same age as Dawn, none fitting the description, but he went up to talk to them. They all looked at him kind of funny, since he was dressed strange and appeared to be several years older than any of them. "I'm looking for a guy about your age, name of Jason", Spike told them, and gave a description of what this Jason looked like.
"I think you mean him", one of the boys said, pointing towards the door where a couple was about to leave. The guy fit Jason's description. The boy pointing him out snickered. "I don't think he'd appreciate you bothering him right now. Looks like he's about to get some." Spike ignored the boy and followed the couple out of the building. The girl was already struggling to get away.
Spike walked up to them. Spike could sense that the guy was definitely a vampire. "Hey, I don't think she's really interested in you", he said to what he hoped was Jason.
"I don't think it's any of your business."
"I'm making it my business."
Jason vamped out and said, "I really think you'll stay out of this if you know what's good for you."
Spike calmly slipped into his own demon face. "Wanna bet?"
Jason let go of the girl and stepped towards Spike. "You lookin' for a fight?" The girl who'd been with Jason took advantage of the opportunity to run away.
Spike moved quickly and slammed Jason face first, flat up against the wall, before Jason could do anything. Spike said calmly, "That wasn't much of a fight. Rather boring in fact. Maybe you could make this more interesting by telling me about a girl named Dawn."
"Dawn? I don't know any Dawn."
"You can't have forgotten already. It was just two nights ago. Beautiful girl. Long, brown hair…"
"Oh, her."
"Yeah, her. Why'd you do it? Why'd you turn her?"
"Oh come on, obvious isn't it? Lovely thing like that. Turn a chick, she'll do whatever you want. I do it all the time. Gonna tell me you don't?"
"I don't", Spike growled. "I know how to treat a lady."
"A lady?" Jason laughed, as much as he could with his chest pressed up against the wall. "That Dawn was all over me. She wanted me bad! I know how to treat a tramp like that!"
Spike spun Jason around and slammed him back against the wall, one of Spike's hands tightly around Jason's throat and the other hand holding a stake pointed at Jason's chest. "You. Take. That. Back."
Jason started struggling when he saw the stake. "Stop it, man! What do you care anyway? What's she to you? Just let me go!"
"She's my friend, you bloody stupid wanker! Now take back what you said!" He pushed the stake harder against Jason's chest, drawing blood.
"Fine! I take it back!"
"Good." Spike shoved the stake into Jason's heart and enjoyed the shocked look on Jason's face just before he turned to dust.
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Spike turned and hurried back to the crypt. Dawn's sharp eyes noticed that Spike had come back without any cigarettes. Spike saw how she was looking at him and realized that he'd forgotten to stop at the store for his alibi. "Spike, gone all that time and you didn't even remember to get your cigarettes? That's not what you went out for, is it?" Dawn asked. "You went looking for Jason", she stated plainly.
He couldn't lie to her. "I did."
"Did you find him? Did you kill him?"
Spike stared at the floor. What if she hadn't been completely truthful about how she felt about Jason? The guy was a complete jerk, but she didn't necessarily know that. Spike tried to answer, but he couldn't speak.
"Did you?" she asked again.
"Yeah", he blurted out. "I found him, and I killed him."
Spike continued to stare at the floor, unable to look at Dawn for her reaction. Had he just undone all the progress they'd made tonight?
Dawn put her hand on his face and brought it up to meet her eyes. "What's wrong, Spike?" She looked concerned. "You're not hurt are you?" She looked him over for any sign of injury.
"No, I'm fine. It's just… are you angry? That I killed your sire?"
"Angry? No! I'm glad you did! He… he told me that once he'd turned me, I'd be his, and do whatever he wanted. I was so afraid of what would happen if I saw him again. Afraid that he'd have control over me." She was trying hard not to start crying.
Spike wrapped his arms around Dawn, so glad that she wasn't angry. "Oh Dawn. Maybe if he'd gotten to you first, when you were still disoriented, he might have been able to make you dependent on him. But the minute Buffy dragged you through my door, you were safe. I would never have let him hurt you. I wouldn't have let you out of my sight until I knew he wouldn't be able to control you like that." Although Spike didn't say it, he also knew that if Jason had gotten to Dawn and taken advantage of the situation, Spike would have fought him, killed him, to get Dawn back. "If you were afraid, why didn't you ask me about it, Nibblet?"
"I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer, and I would have been embarrassed if you'd told me that I was some dork's minion."
"You'd have been embarrassed?! I let you read my poetry, for gods sakes. I told you all about my pathetic life. You should never be embarrassed to come to me, Bite Size." He tensed suddenly when he realized what he'd said.
"Spike? What is it?"
"Dawn, does it bother you that I call you nicknames like that, now that someone really has, you know, taken a bite outta you?"
"No, I don't mind it coming from you. But I'm hardly bite sized anymore. I'm almost as tall as you!" She stood up straight and could look him almost directly in the eye.
"No, you're not bite sized, are you? But you'll still always be my Nibblet."
She dropped her head onto his shoulder and laughed. He smiled to hear her happy again.
Spike finally released Dawn from his arms and looked at her. She truly had grown up to be quite beautiful. It certainly wasn't the first time that he had noticed. So many times, he hadn't been able to help but notice. But when she'd stood to face him, while still in his arms, the way her body had pressed against his…
Spike closed his eyes and tried to suppress his desire. He didn't want Dawn to see him looking at her with lust in his eyes. He realized just how special she was to him. As much as he had tried to avoid it, over the last couple of years he had still managed to fall in love with her. It wasn't just fear of rejection or loss of her friendship that made him hide his feelings even now that she was no longer human. He was equally afraid that she would accept any romantic advances he made, but only out of a sense of obligation. He had taken her in and cared for her when she was just turned, had taken on the role of her mentor in place of her sire.
She had just finished confiding in him her fear of being under someone's control, and Spike was the one most likely to actually have that control. He would not take advantage of her vulnerability. He loved her. He wanted her. He wanted her more than anything, but only if she truly wanted him too. He walked past her, careful not to look in her direction.
Dawn watched him walk away, not quite sure what had just happened. But it had been a long night, and maybe she was just confused because she was getting sleepy. She walked over to lie down on the makeshift bed.
Spike longed to lie next to her again, with her in his arms. She obviously wasn't going to run away now, however, so he had no such excuse tonight. He sat down in his armchair.
"Are you coming to bed?"
"I think I'll stay up a bit longer, Nibblet."
As she drifted off to sleep, he pulled out the journal she'd been reading earlier and turned to a blank page. His feelings for her were overwhelming him. He needed to express them somehow, and the paper was waiting. He wanted this one to be special. It was for Dawn, even if she'd never know it. He struggled to find the right words, words fine enough to convey his feelings for her. When he'd finished writing, he read what he'd written. He suddenly realized what William's problem had been. He almost laughed out loud, but he held the sound back, not wanting to wake Dawn. Spike ripped the page of dreadful writing out of the book and crumpled and tossed it in the trash.
He sat back in the chair and looked over at Dawn, asleep on his bed. His pen was back on the paper. His thoughts and emotions spilled out onto the page as he wrote again. *Much better* he thought, reading the final work. He was afraid that what he'd written was too obviously about her, so he carefully tore that page out too, folding it neatly and putting it in the back pocket of his jeans. Then he lay back in the chair and drifted off to sleep.
She woke once, during the early morning, and saw Spike asleep in his chair. He hadn't come to bed. Earlier in the night, when she had stood in his arms, her body against his, it had felt so good, so right. She had loved him for so long, and for a few brief seconds, she had thought that he'd felt it too. But then he'd seemed upset by her closeness. He had taken his arms from around her and had walked away, appearing unwilling even to look at her. And he'd slept in the chair. She cried silently until she fell back to sleep.
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Spike woke to find Dawn already up and warming their next meal. She had warmed blood for him before a few times, mainly when he'd been badly injured and barely able to move. But she'd always scrunched up her face and held the mug out to him with obvious disgust. Spike found it fascinating watching her now, as she finished preparing the two mugs of blood and carried them over as if they were no worse than two cups of coffee. "What's with this then, Nibblet?"
"You've been generous enough to give me a place to stay. I figured the least I could do is heat up breakfast. Or is it dinner?" She looked thoughtful for a minute, but then just laughed quietly. She handed one mug to Spike, then sat on the floor and drank hers. He watched her discreetly as she drank. He was impressed with how well she was adapting. The previous night she had gone from scared, confused, and barely knowing who she was to being practically her old self. That change seemed to be holding. She appeared totally comfortable with the idea that she was a vampire now, but she also seemed well in control of her demon aspect. She did vamp out when she fed, but as soon as she was finished drinking, her human features immediately slid back into place. He wasn't even sure if she was aware of it.
He'd never seen a vampire so in control so soon after turning. He wondered if it was because he hadn't let her make the final transition by making a kill, or if Dawn's personality was simply strong enough not to be suppressed by the demon side of her. Maybe it was a Key thing? It didn't matter why, he decided. He was just glad to see her adapting so easily.
He still needed to get her out of the crypt, to see how well she could handle the rest of the world, surrounded by walking food. In fact, he had promised to take her out tonight, hadn't he? He wondered if she remembered. "You've been cooped up here for two days. Would you still like to go out somewhere tonight?"
Her face lit up. "You really meant it? When you said you'd take me out tonight?"
"I said it, didn't I?"
"Yeah! But, ooh, if we're going out in public, I really need a shower. I'm sure I must look a mess."
Spike thought to himself that she looked absolutely lovely.
"Buffy also didn't bring me anything decent to wear for a night out. I think she expects you to keep me locked up in this crypt for the next century. Can we stop by the house so I can shower and pick up something nice to wear?"
"Yeah, we could do that." No sooner had the words left his mouth, Spike realized with a shock that Dawn would be unable to enter the Summers' house without an invite. She probably hadn't even thought of that. After only two days, he wasn't sure if Buffy would give one. Spike didn't even want to think about what it would do to Dawn if Buffy refused to let her in. He needed a way around this, fast!
"Hey, Nibblet, instead of just picking up something from home, how'd you like to go out and buy yourself something new for tonight?"
"I don't have any money. What I did have with me, I think Jason swiped."
"Don't worry, Nibblet, I've got enough money for it."
"Where'd you get money from? Steal it?"
"No, I di… well… ok, the money I started with I stole, but a few years back I started getting some investment advice from Anya. I've made a decent amount of money that way."
"Then why are you still living in a crypt?"
"I didn't say I got rich. The money wouldn't last long paying rent, but I can certainly afford to buy you something nice to wear tonight. We'd better hurry before all the stores close, but you're gonna eat some more before we leave. It'll make it a lot easier for you to be around humans if you're not hungry."
When he was convinced that she'd fed enough, they headed out in his car. "Spike, you sure you're not going to be bored silly waiting for me to try on stuff?"
"Oh, I'm sure I will be, but I'm not about to let you go off on your own yet." He wasn't about to admit how much he actually looked forward to buying something nice for her.
"I do feel more comfortable with you here, just in case… " She didn't finish what she'd been going to say, but she didn't need to. He understood.
They found a store that was still open, and Dawn quickly sorted through the dresses and grabbed a few to try on. Spike sat and fidgeted while he waited. Finally, she came out of the dressing room. "What do ya think, Spike?" she said turning all the way around. She looked absolutely stunning. She was wearing a short, form-fitting, dark blue dress, with a low cut neckline and open back. He almost told her to go change. He didn't want her to have the same effect on any other guys that she was having on him right now. But he definitely wanted to keep seeing her in that dress. "It looks nice", he said noncommittally.
She'd hoped for more of a reaction, but if this one didn't do it, nothing would. She was starting to head back toward the dressing room, when she thought to look at the price tag. "Damn", she mumbled.
"What's wrong Nibblet?"
"I didn't realize how much this dress was. It's too expensive."
He walked over and casually took a look at the price tag. "No problem, Nibblet. I can afford that. You want it, it yours." The smile that was directed at him was more than worth the price of the dress.
She changed back into her own clothes, and Spike made the purchase. He noticed the way Dawn was looking at the salesclerk. Dawn was aware of the woman's heartbeat, the pulsing of her blood, and it inflamed all of Dawn's senses and pulled the demon close to the surface, even though she didn't really need to eat now. If she killed the clerk, Spike wouldn't have to pay for that expensive dress. *No! Spike doesn't want me to do that! Get a grip on yourself, Dawn!* She looked over at Spike, confusion and even some fear in her eyes. Spike gently stroked her back and spoke quietly to her. "It's ok, Nibblet. You're going to feel that way. You can handle it. It'll get easier over time, I promise." He was actually amazed that she had managed to handle this first encounter without her demon fully emerging.
As they left the store, he told her, "You didn't even vamp out, luv. That proves how strong you are. You'll get through this just fine." Spike then got dragged along with her to find shoes. He was afraid that this would be a test of just how strong he was, but fortunately, the shoe shopping turned out to be rather quick and painless.
As they were driving back, she reminded him that she still needed to take a shower. From being buried, she still had dirt, well, just about everywhere. She gave him a curious look. "Where do you go to shower anyway? You do shower don't you?" The look on her face made him laugh. "Yeah, don't worry, Bit. I'm not wearing 125 years' worth of dirt." She giggled. "There's plenty of public buildings with showers. I just break in when I need to."
He figured she might be a bit more finicky about bathroom conditions than he was, so he pulled his car into the parking lot behind an old motel. He went room to room listening for anyone inside. He found one that appeared to be empty, and quickly picked the lock. He peeked inside looking for luggage, but the room looked unused for now. "We don't know if someone is coming later, so try to hurry. If someone does show up, by the time they can go to the desk and try to clear up the confusion, we should be able to be out of here."
She showered fairly quickly, but took enough time to get off all the dirt. Fortunately the motel had supplied those little soaps, and she'd brought her hairbrush along. She dried off and changed into her new dress and shoes.
"Hope you left some hot water." Spike took his turn in the shower. He came out wearing just his jeans. He'd accidentally gotten his t-shirt wet, and didn't feel like wearing a damp shirt. Besides, if she was going to torture him in that sexy dress… well, he hoped she'd enjoy the view.
They went back to the car and headed back to the crypt for Spike to get some clean dry clothes. He had some clothes that he'd gotten years ago, when he'd been trying to impress Buffy. He hadn't had much chance to wear them since then, but they were still clean and in good condition. Dawn looked so nice, that he felt he should dress up at least a little. As he started changing his clothes, he realized that Dawn would probably be embarrassed if he changed in front of her, so he took his clothes and went into the shadowy alcove in the back of the crypt, where Dawn had changed the other day. He came out wearing the outfit that had gone totally unnoticed by Buffy five years earlier. Dawn smiled at him. "You look really good in that."
"You're sure I don't look stupid? Disadvantage of the whole no mirror thing, not being able to tell for ourselves how we look."
"Well, you look great, Spike."
"Let's get going then. Where do you want to go, Dawn? I don't know of anywhere to go in this town other than The Bronze, and I'm not sure how you feel about going there after..."
"So I had one bad experience there. No reason to avoid the place. The Bronze is fine with me."
Spike drove them out to The Bronze and parked the car. He walked into the place for the first time in years, with Dawn on his arm.
To be continued...