Disclaimer: What I said in Chapter One.

A/N: This is really getting quite pathetic. As for the people that have read my reviews and previous stories, you know it¡¦s obvious if Kel will pick Neal or Cleon. By the way, everyone is totally OOC, but who cares? It¡¦s humor¡K

Our Favorite Mages Meet!

Chapter Four

Kel was just about to give the guys her decision.

¡§Kel, pick me, Kel!¡¨ Cleon pleaded.

¡§No way would you choose that slug,¡¨ Neal scoffed. ¡§I¡¦m older, taller, better¡K¡¨

¡§I¡¦ve got ¡V¡¨ Cleon countered desperately. ¡§I¡¦ve got red hair!¡¨

¡§So I¡¦ve got brown.¡¨

Cleon threw himself at Neal, and they started to fight.

¡§Stop doing that, or I won¡¦t pick either one of you!¡¨ Kel snapped.

They stopped.

¡§Umm¡K Neal, I guess.¡¨ Cleon, stricken, in a last attempt to even it out, gave the chosen a black eye.

¡§You [Jacuzzi-ing] [Jacuzzi] [Jacuzzi]!¡¨ Neal screamed, cupping his injury. Then he remembered something. ¡§Oh, yeah, I have my Gift, don¡¦t I?¡¨ He healed the rapidly swelling bruise.

¡§Cleon!¡¨ Kel shrieked. ¡§How could you?¡¨ She burst into tears.

¡§Kel, I ¡V I¡K¡¨ Cleon stuttered, amazed to see Kel crying.

¡§Just because Neal¡¦s better than you,¡¨ she wailed. ¡§Doesn¡¦t mean you can give him a black eye!¡¨

¡§Yeah,¡¨ Neal pouted.

¡§I¡¦m sorry, Kel!¡¨ Cleon bawled. ¡§This is too much for my miniscule brain to handle! I can¡¦t take this! I don¡¦t retain information easily!¡¨ He ran away, screaming.

Kel stopped crying. ¡§That¡¦s better. I never did like him much.¡¨

All of a sudden, Neal fainted.

¡§What happened there?¡¨ It was Dom. ¡§Why¡¦s the Meathead lying on the floor?¡¨

Kel shrugged. ¡§I dunno.¡¨

¡§Just wanted to let you know, the next duel is two days from now.¡¨

Kel studied him. ¡§Say, you¡¦ve got a nice smile.¡¨

¡§What? Uh¡K thanks.¡¨

Neal awoke, to see Kel watching his cousin. ¡§Kel?¡¨ he muttered groggily. ¡§That you, Dom?¡¨

¡§Neal, I¡¦m sorry. I choose Dom.¡¨

¡§NOOOOOO!!!¡¨ Neal screamed. ¡§Dom, I hate you! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!¡¨

Dom had no idea what was going on. ¡§Choose me for what, Kel?¡¨

She couldn¡¦t answer, because Neal had started assailing him.

¡§Not again¡K¡¨ Kel muttered. She strode away.

* * *

Sandry, Tris, Briar, Daja, Harry, Ron, and Hermione were sitting around again. Then two boys who looked strangely alike and were trying to beat each other up came in, followed by a tall, brown-haired, freckled girl.

¡§What¡¦s up?¡¨ asked Ron, bewildered.

The girl sighed. ¡§You must be the mages¡¦ students.¡¨

¡§Yes, we are,¡¨ Daja confirmed.

¡§Well, I told Neal I had chosen him, and then Dom came along, and I picked him instead. They¡¦re cousins,¡¨ she added, eyeing them both as they scuffled.

¡§That would cause problems,¡¨ Hermione agreed.

¡§Chosen them for what?¡¨ Harry asked, befuddled.

¡§They like her,¡¨ Sandry hissed.

¡§Ah.¡¨

Neal and Dom were still fighting. ¡§Get off me!¡¨ Dom¡¦s shout was muffled.

¡§She¡¦s mine!¡¨ Neal snarled.

¡§Yeah, I know! Just get off!¡¨

Neal released him. ¡§Huh?¡¨

¡§She¡¦s yours, whatever, I don¡¦t even know what¡¦s happening!¡¨

¡§But I ¡V I saw you ¡V you were¡K¡¨

¡§I don¡¦t know!¡¨

Neal staggered over to where Kel was. ¡§Kel,¡¨ he gasped.

¡§I¡¦m with Dom now, [Jacuzzi].¡¨

¡§You are?¡¨ asked Dom, surprised.

¡§Yes!¡¨

Neal glowered at them both. ¡§Then who am I with now?¡¨

Tris opened her mouth. ¡§Hey, who¡¦s the pig?¡¨ asked Neal. Everyone looked at Tris. She glared at them. ¡§What?¡¨

¡§Her name¡¦s Trisana Chandler,¡¨ Briar drawled. ¡§And just to let you now, she¡¦s got her eye on you.¡¨

Neal looked appalled and offended. ¡§But ¡V but I don¡¦t even know her! How could I ever like someone like ¡V like her?¡¨

Tris burst into tears. ¡§I know I¡¦m fat!¡¨ she howled. ¡§Don¡¦t rub it in!¡¨

¡§What is happening here?¡¨ Dom shouted.

¡§You¡¦re with me now, Dom. Me¡K you¡K a pair,¡¨ explained Kel.

¡§What¡K?¡¨

Kel sighed. ¡§Maybe Neal¡¦s better after all.¡¨

Neal jumped ecstatically into the air. ¡§Yes!¡¨ he screamed.

¡§I said ¡¥maybe.¡¦¡¨ Kel glared at him.

* * *

Thayet sobbed as she looked at her husband¡¦s Champion. ¡§Alanna,¡¨ she wailed. ¡§Jon, my dearest Jon, has been turned into a bunny!¡¨ She was red, blotchy, and tear-stained.

¡§Oh, get over it. He never was much anyway.¡¨ The Lioness stared defiantly at the white bunny, sitting in a cage. It had had to be taken by force from Dumbledore by Sir Raoul, Knight Commander of the King¡¦s Own, personally.

¡§But he was mine!¡¨ A fresh flood of tears overcame the queen.

¡§Come to think of it¡K¡¨ Alanna strode over to the wood cage on the table. ¡§Jon, if you can hear this, good for you, if you can¡¦t, that¡¦s too bad. Listen here, mister, this attitude thing started way back in the desert, that day when you visited me¡K¡¨

Thayet sobbed. ¡§Oh, Alanna, don¡¦t! He¡¦s a bunny! An innocent, naive bunny! He won¡¦t understand!¡¨

¡§¡KAnd that thing with the girl Keladry ¡V what? Oh, we can fix that problem.¡¨ She stepped out of the room, only to return a few minutes later with Daine in tow.

¡§This is Jon,¡¨ Alanna explained. ¡§Could you tell him a few things?¡¨

Daine, bewildered, agreed. ¡§Tell him that I don¡¦t know what happened to his ego, but it¡¦s blown way up since we were pages¡K¡¨ The Wildmage looked worriedly at the queen. ¡§Thayet, are you all right?¡¨

¡§Pay attention!¡¨ Alanna cried. ¡§This is important! And also, the jealousy factor with Josiane, didn¡¦t work, did it? I found George¡K¡¨

Daine was frantically trying to translate this all to an indignant Jon. ¡§He says,¡¨ she interpreted, ¡§He doesn¡¦t really care, and he¡¦s heard this all before.¡¨

Alanna, rapidly turning a splotchy scarlet, shouted, ¡§I don¡¦t care either! You will listen, and you will retain this information! The thing on your coronation, and borrowing my Gift, I didn¡¦t like that so much, it was only because Si-cham¡K¡¨

Daine deciphered, ¡§He wants to know if you¡¦re going to ignore him for four-plus years again because of all this.¡¨

Alanna, an attractive crimson now, screamed, ¡§By the Goddess, I should!¡¨

¡§He says he¡¦s sorry he brought it up.¡¨

Listening to all this only made Thayet¡¦s sobs increase.

* * *

¡§Let¡¦s play charades,¡¨ Hermione declared.

They agreed, as they had nothing better to do. They all wrote down a bunch of things/actions to imitate on slips of paper, folded them up, and stuffed it into a sack. ¡§Who wants to go first?¡¨

Ron volunteered. He selected a slip of paper, then went outside the room to plan. Opening it, he read, ¡§London Bridge is falling down.¡¨

¡§What the [Jacuzzi]? Of all the ones I could¡¦ve gotten, I had to pick a [Jacuzzi-ing] [Jacuzzi] bridge?¡¨

¡§It¡¦s time, Ron!¡¨ someone called.

Muttering darkly, he stepped inside. Walking up to the front of the room, he thought anxiously about what to do.

¡§We¡¦re waiting¡K¡¨

Ron collapsed onto the floor.

¡§He¡¦s hurt!¡¨ Hermione cried hysterically.

¡§It could be part of his act,¡¨ Daja pointed out sensibly.

¡§It¡¦s seeing Neal come into the room,¡¨ Tris murmured.

Neal, disgusted, gave his prediction. ¡§The look on his face was clearly one of distaste. I say it¡¦s seeing Tris coming in the room.¡¨

¡§Jousting with Lord Raoul,¡¨ Kel muttered.

¡§London Bridge is falling down,¡¨ Harry mumbled.

Ron shot up. ¡§How¡¦d you know?¡¨

¡§I wrote it.¡¨

Everyone groaned. ¡§Harry! You aren¡¦t supposed to tell if you wrote it!¡¨

¡§Er ¡V ¡¨

¡§Never mind. You can go next.¡¨

Harry got up, chose a slip, and trudged outside. He unfolded and read it. ¡§Imitate Mithros,¡¨ someone had scrawled. ¡§What?¡¨ he cried in dismay. ¡§How am I supposed to ¡V how can I ¡V what? Who is Mithros anyway? Oh, I remember Lord Wyldon talking about him¡K it was in their prayer¡K Oh, I know! It¡¦s probably the person who founded Tortall.¡¨

¡§Time¡¦s up!¡¨

He traipsed back inside, to the front of the room. How to imitate a founder? Harry stretched his arms wide, trying to gesture to everything around them.

¡§Long? Wide?¡¨

¡§Fat?¡¨

He traced a shield in the air. Mithros probably had to fight for his land.

¡§A heart?¡¨

¡§No, I¡¦m sure it was a square¡K¡¨

After much debating, they finally gave up.

¡§It was Mithros.¡¨

Kel, Dom, and Neal instantly stifled laughter.

¡§What? Isn¡¦t he the founder of Tortall?¡¨

At that, they fell onto the floor, snorting. ¡§It¡¦s ¡V one of ¡V our ¡V gods,¡¨ they gasped in between giggles.

Sandry covered a smile, Tris snorted, Daja turned away, Briar snickered, Ron grinned, and Hermione looked interested. ¡§What is your religion anyway? You have multiple gods? How do you worship?¡¨

Interesting. I noticed that this in-between stuff made a longer chapter than the main plot. Does that mean anything¡K?

Read this paragraph, it is very important!!! This stuff is strictly strictly humor. HUMOR!!! See, Kel CANNOT be with Cleon, even in humor, so she¡¦s with Neal, but I thought it would be a twist if she wanted Dom. But that¡¦s not possible, ¡¥cause Dom¡¦s with me!!! Me, A Knight of Tortall. I wanted to join the Queen¡¦s Riders, but come to think of it, I should join the King¡¦s Own. Then I can be with my Dom¡K (looks around as people stare at her) What? Well, Kel¡¦s obviously with Neal, so I can¡¦t have him, and Dom is the next best thing. So, he¡¦s mine. Hehehe. Review please please please, pretty please, or I¡¦ll sic Dom on you. (tries to look ferocious) He¡¦s pretty flashy with a sword¡K