Aimee
I didn't bother going back to Hogwarts that night. I stayed with Lily and the children, persuading her to come down and join s for dinner. There were multiple questions as to where I had disappeared to and why, but we both swiftly dodged them with such ease we amazed even ourselves. I didn't dare meet Harry's eyes; he knew, I was sure of it. His room was next to ours, and one of the curses of the Snape Mansion was paper-thin walls.
I cornered him later that evening in a part of the house reserved for studies. I had my own lab and study located there, along with a room Lily lovingly referred to as the Thinking Room. Adorned with plush armchairs and sofas, with books lining the walls, I saw Harry sitting in the one nearest the roaring fireplace.
"Harry?" I asked, walking in slowly. He looked up over the rim of his glasses, not caring to move his head.
"Yes, Father?" he asked.
I paused, sitting down in the armchair next to him, watching the flames crackle. "You know."
It was more a statement than a question. "Yes."
I nodded, "Your mother and I wish to keep it private."
He nodded, eyes still on the fire. "Why did you take her back so easily?"
"Love is a peculiar thing, Harry." I sighed, "What your mother and I have is irreplaceable. One moment of undesired mind controlling, if you'd wish to call it that, is not about to ruin seventeen years of marriage."
"But she still cheated on you." Harry said, "With Remus, in fact."
I shook my head, "He didn't have a choice in the matter; I don't blame him in the slightest. Your mother had no idea what she was doing. It was a mistake. A large one, yes, but a mistake."
"How could you forgive her so quickly?" his voice was nearly inaudible.
"I didn't have a choice." I said, "It was either forgive her or watch her wither away and die."
He looked up at me once more, "Surely she wouldn't have died? Be in great distress, perhaps, but never die."
I shook my head once more, "You're far too young to understand it, Harry. I am telling you this because you need to understand what happened."
He nodded, "Go on."
"What your mother and I have is a bond that has survived so many things. Over the course of nearly twenty years, we've have seven children together - "
"Seven?" he asked, slightly confused.
"Yes, seven. In our seventh year, your mother was pregnant with my daughter. Voldemort killed her, however, leading to our marriage and false break up."
"Oh." Harry said, his eyes now downcast. "I didn't know, sorry."
I smiled, "It's all right. Very few people know."
Harry nodded, "I won't tell anyone."
"Thank you." I said, continuing. "I can't expect you to understand completely why, but your mother and I… We were terribly lucky to find each other. We've endured so many hardships, from James Potter to Voldemort to now, Remus Lupin… It wasn't his fault, not at all. James Potter… his marriage to your mother nearly killed both her and I. Me mentally, her physically. I hated that man… I hated him with a passion. Even now, the very sound of his name makes rage pulse through my body. But then I think, how could someone so evil make a child as wonderful as you? It was destiny; it had to be."
I paused for a moment, gazing into the fire. "Spying for your grandfather was hard; it made me lie and betray many people that trusted me. However, your mother helped me through it. And then, when James died… She was in shock, due to the fact she was as close to Death as she could ever be, yet she survived, as did you. It was my turn to help her through that and each one of the pregnancies. And now, with Remus – she couldn't consciously control it and Remus couldn't help himself. I don't blame either one of them. Therefore, there is nothing for me to forgive them for."
Harry shook his head, obviously disagreeing with me. "She slept with another man! How could you just brush it aside like that?"
"I am well aware of the fact she slept with Remus." I snapped a bit harsher than I had wanted to, "And I am not brushing it aside. I am merely trying to find the reason, the way to the road of recovery. Me leaving isn't going to help the situation; it'll only make it worse."
"Still…" Harry started, "She acted like a completely different person, like a slut almost."
I stood up and faced Harry, trying to control my temper. "Don't you ever speak that way about your mother – ever. To your fourteen year old male mind, sex seems like something dirty. To you, it's not about emotion; it's about the physical feeling and act of. However, to myself, sex isn't about the action or physical feeling; it's about the emotion. Your mother showed me her events of yesterday, and I know she felt nothing behind the need. There was no love, no lust, no liking behind it; just the mental need to know she could do something like that, something where she had control. It was unfortunate Remus was the one to see her in that state; however, they are best friends and I am sure they will get over it. It was out of both of their control, so don't you blame either of them for it."
Harry nodded as I sank back into my chair. "What are you going to do if you ever run into him?"
"Remus?" I asked, "I'll try to act as if nothing has happened. If he insists on bringing the subject up, then I'll let it be known that I don't blame him."
The silence between us was deafening. I finally got up and bid Harry goodnight, walking through the mansion and into the Master Bedroom, where Lily was starring up at the ceiling.
"Hello." I said quietly, opening the wardrobe and looking for my robe. Finding it, I set it on a hanger on the wall next to it. "What are you doing?"
"Watching the shadows." She said. I looked up and smiled slightly; the shadows from the candles that surrounded the room were flickering, making the shadows dance across the ceiling and walls.
I changed and slipped my robe on, then stood next to my side of the bed. "Would you like me to sleep here or on one of the sofas?" I glanced around at the three sofas in the room.
She shook her head, "No, no… Here."
She patted the space next to her, scooting over as close to the edge as possible. I sat down and raised my eyebrows.
"You don't have to go all the way over there, Lily."
She shrugged, "Are you sure?"
I smirked, "Is this really that uncomfortable for you now?"
She shook her head, "No, I just… don't want to make you feel bad or anything."
"Lily, all I want to do right now is lay as close to you as possible and know you're mine."
She smiled a bit, scooting over towards the middle. "Is that better?"
I laid down and wrapped my arms around her shoulders. "Yes, much."
"We're gonna get through this, right?" she whispered as the candles were blown out.
"Yes, Lily, we're going to get through this." I said, "There's not a doubt in my mind we will."
"I'm sorry, Sev."
I smiled in spite of my self, "Yes, baby, I know that."
Thanks, Sev.
You're welcome, baby. Just never do that again.
Oh God, I'd rather maim Dakota before doing... that again.
Good to know, Lil, that our children are safe.
She laughed, "They are… I don't think I'll ever see Remus again, though."
"I wouldn't be so sure of that if I were you," I said. "I'm going to have a little chat with him."
Her eyes widened, "Sev…"
I shook my head, "No, I'm going to tell him that if he refuses to talk to you, I'll make him wish he were dead. Also, that I don't blame him in the least. You know that."
She breathed a sigh of relief, "Thanks."
I laughed, "And for the second time, you're welcome."
Why, why, why
Oh ooh ohh
There you are, in a darkened room
And you're all alone, looking out the window
Your heart is cold and lost the will to love
Like a broken arrow
Here I stand in the shadows
(In the shadows)
Come to come, come to me
Can't you see that?
Nobody wants to be lonely
Nobody wants to cry
My body's longing to hold you
So bad it hurts inside
Time is precious and it's slipping away
And I've been waiting for you all of my life (ohh)
Nobody wants to be lonely
So why (why), why don't you let me love you
Why (ooh ohh yeah), why (oh why), why
Ooh ooh, yeah
Can you hear my voice, do you hear my song
It's a serenade, so your heart can find me, ohh
And suddenly you're flying down the stairs
Into my arms, baby, ohh
Before I start going crazy
(Going crazy, ohh)
Run to me
Run to me
Cause I'm dying...
Nobody wants to be lonely
Nobody wants to cry (don't wanna cry)
My body's longing to hold you (I'm longing to hold you)
So bad it hurts inside
Time is precious and it's slipping away
And I've been waiting for you all of my life (ohh)
Nobody wants to be lonely
So why
Why, why don't you let me love you?
I want to feel you need me
(Feel you need me)
Just like the air you're breathing
(Breathing)
I need you here in my life
Don't walk away, don't walk away
Don't walk away, don't walk away
No, no, no, no...
Nobody wants to be lonely
Nobody wants to cry... yeah yeah
Nobody wants to be lonely (yeah ohh ooh)
Nobody wants to cry (nobody wants to cry)
My body's longing to hold you (is longing to hold you)
So bad it hurts inside (hurts inside)
Time is precious and it's slipping away
And I've been waiting for you all of my life (ohh
Nobody wants to be lonely
So why (why), why don't you let me love you
Let me love you...
Nobody wants to be lonely
Nobody wants to cry (nobody wants to cry...)
My body's longing to hold you (I'm longing to hold you)
So bad it hurts inside (so hurt inside)
Time is precious and it's slipping away
And I've been waiting for you all of my life
Nobody wants to be lonely
So why (why), why don't you let me love you
Why (why), let me love you
Why, love you, let me love you*
*Ricky Martin/Christina Aguilera, Nobody Wants To Be Lonely