Aimee
The next day – Saturday – Severus went back to the Snape mansion at sunrise, fully prepared to face Lily. As he walked through the doors, however, and saw her sitting on the bottom step, surrounded by house elves, he nearly broke down himself.
With one fleeting glance at their Master, the house elves disappeared, leaving Lily in Severus' care. One look at her told him all he needed to know.
"Didn't make it to the toilet in time?" he inquired. She nodded miserably, her hands trembling slightly.
He's going to kill me… God, I'm going to die…
"You've been with me nearly twice as long as James
now; you should know I'd never touch you." Severus said quietly, glancing
around for any children.
"They're in bed." Her voice was hoarse. Severus
felt a stab of guilt; he usually helped her when morning sickness kicked
in.
She started to get up, but then almost immediately fell back down on the steps. She sighed, holding her head in her hands.
"Damn headache."
Severus chuckled a bit, and then walked over to her and easily picked her up. "You've lost weight."
He started up the stairs, Lily's head up against his shoulder.
"I'm sorry." She mumbled.
"For losing weight?"
"That too."
Severus shook his head as they reached the landing, "Really, dear. You need to eat."
"Not hungry. I'll throw it up anyway." Lily mumbled into his shoulder. Severus opened the door with much difficulty and set Lily on the bed. He pulled the covers over her, forgetting for a moment why he was there.
"Are you going to be ok?"
She shook her head, "No."
"Why not, love?" Severus asked, sitting down on the bed next to her curled form.
"I can't believe you're still calling me love, after all I've put you through." She sighed, "I don't deserve it."
"Lily, what is the one thing I have been telling you for the past seventeen years?"
"That you'll never be mad at me…" she sniffed, "That's impossible. I'm too flawed."
Severus shook his head, "You didn't ask to become pregnant."
Lily looked up at him with red-rimmed eyes. "You didn't ask for this either. It's my fault."
"Yes, it is your fault." Severus nodded, "But not to the point where you beat yourself up over it."
A small sob escaped from Lily's throat, "What if… what if Remus…"
"If it's Remus's baby, then I don't know what's going to happen. I know he or she will be your child… But he'll be a constant reminder."
Lily shook her head, "I need to see Remus… I need to tell him."
"Why, though?" Severus asked softly, "He'd be better off not knowing."
"If I give birth to a brown haired, blue eyed child, he'll need to know." Lily whispered. "The one hair and eye color we've failed to produce."
Severus shook his head, "I wish you wouldn't."
"I have to." Lily said, her face half-buried into the pillow.
Severus sighed, "Do you want me to come with you?"
Lily shook her head into the pillow, "No, I think it's best I do this alone. I don't know how Remus feels towards you, or how you'd react – no offense – towards him."
"None taken." Severus said quietly. "If you need any help – I'll be listening."
Lily nodded, "Thank you."
All it took was one tiny mistake.
Lily contemplated what she was going to say to Remus all that day; she had decided to visit him after supper, leaving the children in the house elves' care.
She Apparated to his tiny home in the country near London, hesitating slightly before knocking. The door flew open almost immediately, revealing a rather nervous looking Sirius Black.
"Lily?" he asked, squinting a bit.
"Sirius Black?" she asked, a smile spreading across her face. "No way."
"Is that really you?" Sirius asked.
"Yes… Good Lord, you've grown." Lily grinned. "Why are you at Remus' house?"
The nervous expression Sirius had a moment before returned. "You shouldn't be here."
Lily looked behind her, to where Sirius' eyes had focused. "Why not?"
He smiled slightly, opening the door and allowing her to enter. He closed the door behind them with a fleeting glance towards the moon-bathed country side extending out from all sides of the cottage.
"Where's Remus?" she asked, glancing around the house. "He's not away, is he?"
Sirius sighed, "You've forgotten?"
Lily shook her head, "Forgotten what?"
"Look outside, Lily. Look at the sky." Sirius ushered her towards a window. Her eyes widened as she gazed up towards the heavens.
"God… The full moon. I forgot to check the lunar chart."
Sirius shook his head, "What did you want to talk to Remus about?"
"Nothing." Lily said a bit too quickly.
"Lily…" he warned. "You could tell me right now, or Remus could tell me later."
"Don't you have a job somewhere?" Lily asked, praying for Sirius to drop the subject.
"It's Saturday night. Remus is going to be back at daybreak, and I wanted to make sure he was ok."
Lily nodded, "Ok."
"Now, for the second and last time, why do you want
to get a hold of Remus so badly you forget about the full moon?"
Lily shook her head, avoiding eye contact with Sirius.
"No reason, I just wanted to catch up."
Sirius scowled, "Lily, tell me."
Lily finally looked up at him. "You wouldn't understand, Sirius."
"What wouldn't I understand?" Sirius asked quietly,
putting his hand on her shoulder.
"Please… don't touch me." Lily said softly. "Last
time anyone touched me, it ended up disaster."
Sirius' face suddenly broke out into an expression of realization. "Ahh… So that's what you wanted to talk to Remus about."
Lily closed her eyes for a moment. "Did he tell you?"
"I forced it out of him." Sirius answered. "He didn't want to tell me."
"I just wanted to make sure he was ok." Lily lied, "I haven't seen him since then… and I just… I don't know."
Sirius nodded, "Do you think you could come back tomorrow, later in the evening? I'm sure Remus would be happy to see you."
Lily nodded, "Of course."
Sirius paused before gathering her up in a hug. "Don't you ever stay away from me that long again, you hear?"
Lily grinned, melting into his embrace. "It's just as much your fault as it is mine, Sirius."
He smiled, ruffling her hair. "How many kids do you have now?"
"Six." Lily beamed. "Harry, Ethan, Kaylee, Dea, Drake, and Star."
"Good God…" Sirius shook his head in a disbelieving manor. "And here I was thinking you were kidding about having as many children as possible."
"Believe me, I wasn't." Lily grimaced, touching her stomach in a discreet manor.
"Well… I guess I'll be seeing you soon then, yes?" Sirius asked, walking towards the door.
"I guess so." Lily smiled. "Thanks again, Sirius."
"You're welcome, Lily." Sirius opened the door and Lily took a step out. Before either her or Sirius had time to react, something pounced on her with such force it threw her to the ground.
Lily felt multiple sharp teeth cut into her flesh as she screamed, not so much from the pain but from the terror of being attacked. In a moment's time, Sirius had turned into a large black dog and had jumped on the creature, biting it's neck and dragging it off of Lily.
Looking down at her right arm, Lily nearly fainted. Even in the dark she could tell her arm was mutilated; blood was seeping through gashed that went to the bone, and she couldn't move her fingers.
The pain took a second to set in, but when it did,
Lily screamed. White-hot pains infested her arm, shooting through her body
and up her spine. Before she blacked out, she could see Sirius' face looming
above hers. His mouth was moving, but her vision was far too blurred to
make out the words.