Aimee
How long has it been since I've felt the burn of human emotion?
Too long. Far too long. You're an outcast in your own mind, even though you're surrounded by friends.
And who am I to argue? These people look at me as if I'm a freak. I am…
You are.
The last time I felt as if anyone cared was when…
Was when you betrayed your best friend.
Yes. Guilt beyond guilt.
It was like your whole world had come crashing down….
It did. She hated me… Or so I thought. He… He still hasn't looked at me the same way, especially since I hurt her…
Now that wasn't your fault.
Of course it was! How could it not be?
You weren't in your right state of mind.
What do you know?
Everything.
Yes?
I am you.
Of course you are…
Remus sighed as he looked around the crowded alleyway. Witches and Wizards of all kind streamed passed him. The few he knew and dared to meet eyes with either looked away or nodded swiftly without a word.
Guilt pounded in his chest as he stepped into Flourish and Blott's. Surveying the scene in front of him, he cautiously made his way down an empty aisle, his eyes running over the assorted spines of books he would probably never read in his life. His eyes flicked from cover to cover, his mind soaking in the words as his eyes passed over them.
"The rise and fall of the Dark Arts, summarized into one five-hundred page book?" Remus shook his head, picking up the leather-bound book. "Impossible."
Flipping to the index, he scanned the page for "Potter, Lily." Making a note of the page numbers, he turned to it and raised an eyebrow at the picture of her.
It was a biography up to Ethan's birth. A picture of what was her and Severus while they were still at Hogwarts was put in the top corner. Severus was cut out of the picture, only a few strands of his raven hair showing. Lily was smiling and waving, her seventeen year old self as radiant as ever.
The two people you destroyed…
I did no such thing.
You tried.
It wasn't my fault.
So you say.
We did it together.
Yes, you definitely did something together.
We f-cked – Nothing more.
Is that all it was, then?
Yes.
There was no emotion? No love? We both know how much you adore her.
A schoolboy crush is not worth ruining the best relationship she'll ever have.
Yet you did it anyway.
I was weak.
You still are.
I've always been weak – ever since I was bitten, I've been weak.
Yes, and look where that got you; your best friend possibly pregnant with your child.
Twins. She told me they were twins.
Did she now? And how do you feel about that?
Overjoyed… terrified…
Are they yours?
God I hope not.
Remus squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, shoving the book back onto the shelf. He walked down the aisle once more, his eyes falling onto a book about werewolves.
Ahh, it's you.
Yes, it's me, once a month.
Wonder how Lily felt? Three full moons have past; have you even bothered to check up on her?
Once. Severus is keeping her under tight reign.
Yes, but that is her doing, not his.
Why?
Why would she want to be treated as if she were a child? Because, my friend, for the first time in her life, she's had to act like an adult.
Why?
So many question… We are both aware of how much sleeping with you hurt her, emotionally.
Yes. She nearly killed herself.
She damn well tried… And you believe it is not your fault?
Of course that is my fault. I should have said no.
You couldn't have, you're –
I know. I'm too weak.
That and a werewolf. Your animal instincts took over.
Were my eyes yellow?
Ask her, I'm sure she'll tell you.
When the wolf in me comes out… my eyes turn yellow.
Yes, I'm quite aware of that, Remus.
So if my eyes were yellow…
Then you were part wolf that night.
I didn't mean it.
We both know that… But it's your fault.
I couldn't help it.
So you've said.
You don't believe me?
Why should I?
Because you're me.
True.
Remus shook his head once more, watching a blonde boy that looked vaguely familiar streak past him. The figure was blurry; his eyes were now fighting back tears he hadn't noticed before.
Why now?
It's the perfect time.
Why though?
You'll see.
I'll see what?
Fate, Remus.
Fate?
Yes, Remus. Fate.
As in destiny?
There's a fine line between fate and destiny, Remus. Don't cross it.
Remus took a step forward, his eyes blurry and downcast. A moment later, he was thrown to the floor.
Ignoring the pain in his left shoulder, he looked over to his right, seeing the person who had knocked him over… Or had it been the other way around?
To his surprise, the person offered their hand to him. He took it gratefully, hoisting his trembling body to its feet.
"Oh God, I'm so sorry…" It was a woman.
A woman?
Yes, a woman.
Destiny?
Fate.
"That… That's ok. I wasn't looking where I was going." Remus stated gruffly, looking up at the woman.
"Wait… Remus?" His eyes met hers as she said his name. "Remus Lupin?"
"Yes, and who is this?" He asked, taking in her light blonde hair and slim figure.
"You don't remember me?" She smiled a bit. "You kissed me once, in our sixth year."
Realization hit him. "Narcissa? Narcissa Martin?"
She smiled at me, "It's been a long time, Remus."
Remus smiled back. "It certainly has."
I thought love was only true in fairytales
Meant for someone else but not for me
Oh love was out to get me
That's the way it seemed
Disappointment haunted
All my dreams
Then I saw her face
Now I'm a believer
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I'm in love
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave her if I tried
I thought love was more or less a givin' thing
Seems the more I gave the less I got
What's the use in tryin'?
All you get is pain
When I needed sunshine I got rain
Then I saw her face
Now I'm a believer
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I'm in love
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave her if I tried
Aw love was out to get me
Now that's the way it seemed
Disappointment haunted
All my dreams
Then I saw her face
Now I'm a believer
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I'm in love
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave her if I tried
Yes I saw her face
Now I'm a believer
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
Said I'm a believer
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah (I'm a believer)
Said I'm a believer yeah (I'm a believer)
Said I'm a believer yeah yeah, Oh yeah*
*I'm A Believer, Smash Mouth
(Of course, it was originally done by the Monkees, but the version
I listened to while writing this ended up being Smash Mouth's.)