Aimee
Thoughts ran through her mind at an alarming speed; even Severus could not understand them. Her body tensed up as disbelief flooded her mind.
"He – what?" Lily asked Severus, breaking away from his grip to look up at him. "Impossible."
"Lily, love, I'm so sorry…" Severus handed her the letter and he could hear her pronounce each word in her head slowly.
Dear Severus and Lily,
I'm sorry to inform you that Albus Dumbledore passed away just a few short hours ago, due to his high age. The cause of death has been deemed natural causes. As Lily is his next of kin, I have been asked to discuss arrangements with you. I'm deeply sorry for your loss, and I am sure we will all miss him.
Sincerely,
Minerva McGonagall
Lily set the parchment down with shaking hands. "She's lying."
"Lily… Come here." Severus wrapped his arms around her once more, "He was old… He was tired. He lived his life. Even magic can not prevent death, love. You know that."
"It's impossible!" Lily sobbed quietly, finally giving in and burying her head into Severus' shoulder. "He's Papa! He can't die!"
"I'm so sorry, love." Severus sighed, hugging her tighter.
After what seemed like an hour, Lily looked up at her husband, her green eyes full of tears. "He knew. He knew and he wouldn't tell me…"
"Knew what, Lily?" Severus asked, stroking her hair softly.
"He knew… about everything… about the twins…"
Severus shook his head and Lily buried her face in his shoulder once more. "Lily, love, this is no time to be thinking about such things… Here, lay down with me, you'll be more comfortable."
Lily obliged and curled into a ball the best she could, laying her head on Severus' chest. "Why, Sev? He's gone… This is it. It's just us now. Mum and Dad have been gone for how many years? Seven, now? And…"
"And I've never had any proper parenting to speak of, even if the bastard's still alive." Severus growled at the memory of his father.
"We're alone…" Lily sobbed quietly, "He's gone…"
Severus kissed her forehead gently as he willed himself not to let the tears forming in his eyes get the better of him. "Lily, love, it'll be ok…"
"No it won't..." Lily sniffed, "It's never going to be the same… He's gone."
Severus sighed, pulling her as close to him as possible. "We still have each other and the children. We'll live through this… you'll live through this."
"He's gone…" Lily whispered, squeezing her eyes shut and then blinking. "He's really gone. He's dead."
"He's only gone in body, not spirit." Severus said quietly, rubbing her back gently. "You know he wouldn't want to cry over him. He's always going to be with you, love. He's watching over you, just like your Mum and Dad…"
"You promise?" Lily sniffed, gripping the cloth of Severus' shirt tightly.
"Yes, love." Severus sighed, kissing the top of her
head as she closed her eyes.
The next morning, Lily awoke to the sunlight streaming through the windows and the babies kicking the inside of her stomach softly. Forgetting why it felt as if a lead weight had settled itself inside of her, she prodded Severus gently and took his left hand, placing it on the exact spot the little feet were moving.
"Sev…" Lily whispered in his ear, "Wake up."
He smiled before opening his eyes; as he did, his smile faded as the events of the night prior came rushing back to him.
"They're kicking." Lily said softly, her green eyes lighting up.
"'Morning, love." Severus said gently, "How are you feeling?"
It was as if a tidal wave had come crashing into her; the letter, the hours spent crying softly, unable to sleep…
"It wasn't a dream?" she asked timidly.
Severus shook his head, snaking his arms around her. "No, baby. It wasn't."
Lily breathed in deeply, closing her eyes. After a moment, she opened them once more, fighting back the tears. "Can you tell the children for me?"
"Of course." Severus whispered. "Are you going to be ok?"
Lily nodded slightly. "I want to write Professor McGonagall back… She told me to… I have to."
"Ok." Severus nodded, kissing her lightly. "I'm going to get up now… Will you be all right on your own, or do you want me to stay here?"
"I'll be ok." Lily said, moving herself into the warm indent in the mattress after Severus stood up. "I'm just going to lay here for a while… I'll be ok."
Severus smiled weakly and nodded, running his hand down her arm. He quickly dressed and left the room, leaving Lily, who was silently crying once more.
After what seemed like eternity, she shakily stood up and dressed herself, not bothering to look in the full length mirror standing on the wall across from the bed. She backed out of the room, looking through the sunlight-ridden windows until she reached the door.
Walking down the hall and stairs seemed to take forever; each step was harder and more intense than the step before it. She slowly made her way to the sitting room, where Severus had gathered all the children. The room was silent; he had just finished explaining to Drake and Dakota why their grandfather would never be coming back.
She was met with seven pairs of eyes starring up at her and she entered the room. She met only Harry's, seeing his own green eyes red and his skin pale.
This can't be happening.
It is, love.
Why? Look at them… They don't understand.
Harry and Ethan do, love.
The rest… Drake, Dakota, they don't even know the meaning of the word.
They understand now, Lily.
But why?
Sit next to me… Yes, now, look at them.
They're crying.
And looking at us for support.
I can't give it to them now.
You must, love.
But why?
You're their mother… They love you… They're counting on you and I to be strong.
I can't be strong.
Lily, love, listen to me. Be strong for them… As long as the sun's up, be strong. But when the moon comes up, I'll be strong for you. You don't have to be… ok?
Sev…
Please, Lily. Look at them… You have to be.
Lily sighed as Severus wrapped his arm around her shoulders, her eyes gazing at each child in turn. Dakota was too young to grasp the concept and was only feeding off of her sibling's pain. Drake understood as much as any six year old child might. Dea was feeding off of Kaylee's emotions; depression and the anger that was starting to settle in to the ten-year-olds body.
Ethan looked as if he had been bawling; his eyes were red and swollen and tears were stilling making their way down his red cheeks. He was wringing his hands nervously, yet starring off into space.
Harry had been crying, Lily could tell. His eyes were rimmed with red and she could just make out the tiny trail of tears that had rolled down his cheeks. However, he had stopped now, and he was surveying his parents with a sympathy.
"I'm sorry, guys." Lily said softly, looking down at her hands. "Professor McGonagall said it was painless… He died in his sleep. He didn't feel any pain, ok?"
Lily, love, you don't know that.
It will make them feel better.
What good is lying to them going to do?
We don't know it's a lie.
Severus sighed once more as the family all looked
at each other, all fighting an internal battle between their minds and
their hearts. Knowing that this was what was left; there was no Papa to
look up to now, it was just them.
Do you still remember, how we used to be
Feeling together, believe in whatever
My love has said to me
Both of us were dreamers, Young love in the sun
Felt like my saviour, My spirit I gave you
We'd only just begun
Hasta Manana, Always be mine
Viva Forever, I'll be waiting
Everlasting, Like the sun
Live Forever, for the moment
Ever searching, for the one
Yes I still remember, every whispered word
The touch of your skin, giving life from within
Like a love song that I've heard
Slipping through our fingers, like the sands of time
Promises made, every memory saved
Has reflections in my mind
Hasta Manana, always be mine
Viva Forever, I'll be waiting
Everlasting, Like the sun
Live Forever, For the moment
Ever searching, for the one
But we're all alone, was it just a dream
Feelings untold, They will never be sold
And the secrets safe with me
Hasta Manana, always be mine
Viva Forever, I'll be waiting
Everlasting, Like the sun
Live Forever, for the moment
Ever searching, for the one*
*Spice Girls, Viva Forever