Aimee
We were finally all home, the day after Harry's graduation. Severus and I had Apparated home, leaving the children to take the Hogwarts Express. We met them later than evening at King's Cross, waiting for nearly an hour as Harry said goodbye to his former classmates.
That evening, Harry mentioned his plans to get a flat in London – with Draco Malfoy. My surprise must have shown on my face, for both Severus and Harry gave me a strange look.
"Harry – dear," I started, "Draco? Are you sure?"
Harry nodded, "Mum, Hermione and Ron are getting married – Draco's one of my best friends."
"Four years ago, you would have loved to see his head on a stake." Severus put in, raising an eyebrow slightly.
"That was then," Harry interjected, "This is now."
"But – Harry, Draco? Why?" I asked.
"Mum, I know the reason you don't want me to – you have to get over it." Harry gave me a pointed glance. I sighed, shaking my head.
"And how do you know?"
He smirked slightly, "He's not a Lupin, Mum. He's a Malfoy."
I cringed slightly at the sound of Remus' name. It had been an unspoken rule in the house not to mention it for the past two years. "I'm perfectly fine with that."
"No, you're not." Harry said gently, as if he was the parent and I was the child. "You're afraid that your son having his step-son for a roommate will force you two to acknowledge each other's presence."
I shook my head, but before I could say a word, he spoke once more.
"Mum, please. It's been two years… You have to get over it." Harry gave me a pleading look. He looked so much like James… Too much…
"I'll get over it when I'm ready." Perhaps I spoke a bit too sharply, but at that point and time, I really didn't care.
"He's right, love." Severus put in quietly, looking at his hands. "We're not asking you to see each other on a daily basis, even a monthly one. Just to tolerate being in the same room and not look like you're both about to break down."
"I can't!" I suddenly exclaimed, straightening up sharply. "Far too much has happened… you both know that."
"Lil, you're throwing one of the best friendships you've ever had out the window. I hate to see you do that to yourself." Severus said, looking past me at the doorway. "Yes, Cass?"
I whipped around, my frown dissolving into a smile as Castor came running into the room. "Hi Mummy, hi Daddy, hi Harry!" he exclaimed, his three year old arms latching around my knees. I smiled and picked him up into my lap.
"Hey Cass… What are you up to? Where's your elf?" I asked, smoothing his hair back.
He grinned, showing off his slightly crooked front teeth. "In my closet."
My eyes widened as Harry and Severus started laughing.
"Castor… You didn't." I warned, suppressing a smile.
"I did!" he grinned, climbing off of me and into Severus' lap.
I started laughing along with Harry and Severus as Severus sat the boy down in his lap and wrapped his arms around him. "You're going to let her out, aren't you?"
Castor's eyes widened innocently. "But Pollux said she'd like it in there!"
I smirked, "And where is your brother?"
"What one?" Castor asked, looking over at Harry. "Harry's right there."
"Pollux, dear." Severus answered for me.
"In the room."
'The room' was the bedroom the twins slept in – they had refused to sleep in their own rooms, and when we tried, they would always meet in one of the two rooms and curl up together.
Harry went and unlocked the house elf, then brought Pollux into the room. Castor immediately ran to his twin's side, grinning like mad.
"Pollux…" I said in a warning voice. "You know better than to lock your house elf in your closet."
He grinned sheepishly, his blue eyes gazing up into my amber ones. I immediately felt a stabbing pain of guilt – the same one I had been experiencing for the past four years. It washed over me, the familiar sensation taking over my senses. I closed my eyes briefly, screaming inside.
Fuck it… This is impossible.
What is, love?
This.
This would be what, precisely?
Pollux… his eyes.
You need to get over it, Lil. I have.
I know, I know Sev… But it's so hard. Imagine sleeping with your best friend in the world, then having to face them.
I already have.
Have what?
Slept with my best friend.
Smart ass.
I know.
That night, I fell asleep wrapped up in Severus' arms, perfectly content for the first time in months. Listening to the sound of Severus' heart beat, I kissed him softly, snuggling closer to his warm body.
Heat… immense heat. There was another body… He was there, on top of me, kissing me… I was ecstatic, confused, and angry all at the same time, but try as I might, I couldn't stop my body from reacting to his soft touches.
Colours were swirling all around me, even as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. His lips still covered mine, suffocating me, yet breathing life into my lungs at the same time.
He was all over me; I had no means of escape. I slowly sank in to his embrace, savoring the taste of his mouth. I opened my eyes once more as he lifted his lips from mine, and starred into his blue eyes.
Wait – blue? I was confused for a moment, then finally realized what was happening. The man wasn't Severus – it was Remus. I started to squirm violently, but I knew it was futile. Almost immediately, his beautiful face turned into a face I hadn't seen nor dreamt about in years.
His blue eyes turned red and snake – like, his tanned skin turned ghastly white. His broad features turned long and delicate. I was starring into the face of Lord Voldemort.
I woke up with a start, my body still surrounded and held tightly by Severus' arms. He was running his fingers through my hair, his warm breath tickling my face.
"Oh God…" I muttered, torn between screaming and crying.
"It was only a dream, love." He whispered, kissing my forehead lightly.
"You saw?" I asked quietly, burying my face into his chest.
"Yes," he murmured, "You were squirming and moaning in your sleep. I figured it was worth listening to."
"Sorry." I sighed, "My subconscious has a mind of it's own."
He smiled slightly, "Yes, I figured that. I'm rather glad you thought it was me, however."
"Tells you something, doesn't it?" I dug my fingers into his back, gripping tightly. "If this goes on any longer, it's going to kill me."
"What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger." Severus said whispered, "Talk to him, love."
"I can't." I whispered. "It hurts too much."
"You're killing yourself." He sighed, "Please, baby… for me?"
I sighed, "I've tried… I tried yesterday, but I just couldn't. There were far too many painful memories."
"I'll be with you the whole time, you know that." Severus said.
I breathed in his scent for a moment, then sighed once more. "I can't. At least not right now… I will thought, eventually. I promise."
Severus nodded, then kissed me once more. "And when you do, I promise I'll be there for you."
"Thank you, Sev." I smiled slightly, "I love you."
"I love you too, Lil, and you're welcome."