I really don't feel like doing all that disclaimer junk, since
obviously me and Laura don't own Gundam Wing. If we did, we'd be rich
and we'd be bragging about it all the time. So any ways... umm... to
help this fic make a little more sense to anyone who's reading it, our
friend actually wrote this fic and gave it to us to help edit. With the
fic in our hands and nothing to stop us, we butchered the poor fic
relentlessly. How did it turn out? Read and see! I'm not sure if bold
letters shows up here on ff.net, but if it does, the bold is obviously
the changes by Laura and myself. If it the bold doesn't show up, then I
guess this fic while just seem really really weird to you. If you e-
mail us and ask us nicely, maybe we'll send you the actual Microsoft
word file so you can read it with the bold stuff. Maybe. Some of the
stuff we added should be pretty obvious. Also as a lil' helper kind of
thing, this fic used to be really serious. But obviously, we changed
that quite a bit. ^.^
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Never Ending Injustice
Chapter 1
At the sound of the bell you will not remember anything that happened
in the past and you will think you are....
a chicken!
Duo Maxwell hurried to the front of the store.
"Aww...just when I was about to close up too," he protested good-
naturedly.
"Still, business is business I guess."
When he opened the door, he encountered a pair of cold blue eyes, eyes
that would have seemed unwelcoming and
dead to the average stranger.
"Oh look, its another visiting corpse! Silly dead bodies.. why don't
you stay in the ground.. oh! Heero! It's you!"
But to Duo, they were the eyes of someone who he used to think was
dead, but had now
discovered otherwise.
*flash back scene*
Heero lay on the ground in an odd pose; limbs sticking out in random
directions, looking, well, dead. A little
girl saw him and ran away screaming in terror. Another man took out a
cell phone to call 911 and report some
dead body lying in the middle of the children's play ground.
Duo fell out of some bushes, looking for Heero. He discovered the
strange boy and poked his motionless,
posing body with a stick.
"Hey Heero! Wanna get some ice cream?"
"Not now, I'm dead."
"No you're not, you just talked."
Heero sat up, looking somewhat shocked.
"Really? I'm not dead?"
"Yea.. you were alive yesterday too, baka."
Heero shrugged and looked up to Duo.
"So... still wanna get some ice cream?" asked Duo.
"Sure."
The two skipped merrily, arms linked, in the general direction of
wherever an ice cream store might be.
*end of flash back scene*
Even in that moment, Duo's sharp eyes could detect a flicker of life
in those eyes, a flicker of light found in those who have feelings and
emotions or, somebody who just has a light
being shined in their eye. But he
didn't sit on it; he was just glad to see the man.
"Heero! How are you? You haven't come by in so long that Hilde and I
thought
you'd pulled another one of your disappearing acts again or something!"
The solemn man didn't say anything for a moment, but then the corners
of his
mouth twitched in the semblance of a smile. Heero then shoved the
strange, solemn man away.
"Oh come on Heero! Smile! Come on, is a true real smile all that
difficult?"
Duo goaded gently. "Really, for someone who has waged war against this
entire
planet and then some, a smile can't be all that difficult!"
"Don't push it," Heero said wryly as he motioned to the weights hanging
from each corner of his mouth, ending
the subject, but he did do another
one of his half smiles, causing him to break a sweat with the effort
that was required to do so. "I've come to ask
a favor..." he began, but then trailed off awkwardly.
"Favor?! You, ask for favors?!" Duo exclaimed, then rapidly subsided
when he
saw the steely glint in Heero's eyes. "Alright," he said briskly, "what
can I do for
you?"
"Well..."Heero began in a strangled voice, then straightened his
shoulders and
shot the man who had been strangling him, "I need you suggest to me a,
ah, romantic place for
dinner," he finally choked out. Suddenly, he spontaneously combusted
and slowly formed back together.
Duo stared for a moment, too stunned to speak, and then managed, "Well,
ah,
sure, Heero, but WHAT THE HECK FOR?!"
"Um, well I was planning on going to the romantic restaurant to have a
romantic meal.. is that ok with you??"
"Don't be so cold Duo!" a new voice chided gently. Hilde walked in,
trailed by
a bouncy three-year-old rubber ball on a string tied to her left ankle.
"Heero, it's so nice to see you again! Duo and
I were hoping, I mean afraid you would never come back!"
"So I've heard."
"So what is it that you need? A romantic restaurant?" she inquired.
Encouraged by his tentative nod, she continued, "A personal favorite of
mine is the French
restaurant across town. It can be a little difficult to get
reservations, but since we've done the
manager a few times, well more than a few times, wink wink nudge nudge"
Hilde chortled, " I think we can get
you reservations. When do you need them?"
"Tonight."
"Okay," she said. "That shouldn't be too difficult."
Heero nodded. "Thank you, I owe you one dollar" Heero handed Duo a
one-dollar bill.
"Really, Heero! Gee thanks!" Duo said as he pocketed the dollar.
Heero's mouth twitched again and at that moment, Heero suddenly dropped
to the ground, convulsing, but no
one said anything. Instead, he looked
down at Hilde's little bouncy ball whom she had named Jericho, Jerry
for short.
"Hi Uncle Heero!" the child said enthusiastically.
"Hello Jerry," Heero responded, twitching all the while. "I wonder what
our internal organs would look like... on a
platter." he thought to himself as he unwittingly phased out into
space. "Whoops," he said and phased back.
Duo and Hilde exchanged glances. Regardless of how much he had
changed, it was
very unlike Heero to phaze out; rather, he was usually very sedentary.
"Heero," Hildebegan said gently (Hildebegan is the Maxwell's maid and
will never be mentioned again... well
maybe once... or twice.. oh well we will just have to wait and see),
"would this restaurant have anything to do with
Relena and the box I saw you
walk out of the jewelry store with this afternoon while I was
shopping?"
Heero abruptly jerked himself back to reality and stared at Hilde in
shock.
"How did she know I planned to kill her and bury her bloody corpse in a
box?!" he thought to himself furiously.
At the same time, Duo whirled around to stare at his wife.
"WHAT?!" he exclaimed. "Jewelry store?!"
"I...I mean..er, well, what I meant was... "Heero stuttered, then gave
up; it
would be useless to try to deny it. "I wouldn't have been like this
five years ago!" he
thought. "Why did I change?", then answered his own question. "I fell
off a cliff, that's what... I never have been
the same since that amnesia set in."
"Wow! Jewelry store, huh? Heero, you son of a gun, you're finally
going to do
it!" Duo cheered.
Jerry supported his father. "Uncle Heero, are you gonna get
married? Please don't uncle Heero please!! Relena is a mean nasty
bitch!"
"She might not say yes you know," Heero said stiffly. "I mean, I've
threatened to kill her quite a few times, tried to
kill her brother Zechs, and treated her like the stupid bitch she is...
I mean... I treated her unkindly."
Going up to Heero, Duo howled into his ear, "HEERO NO BAKA! You idiot!
Of
course she's going to say yes! She's been stalking obsessively you
ever since she first met you!
Really!"
As Duo howled at the moon about Heero's lack of sense, Hilde pointedly
ignored her
insane husband and instead focused on Heero. "Heero, that's
wonderful!" she said.
"But are you sure you want to propose in a crowded restaurant? Why not
take her
out for dinner, then suggest a visit to the wal-mart near here and
propose there? that would be much more romantic,
standing in the aisles of a store where you can buy your groceries, a
tent, and some underwear, and eat atMc
Donald's all in the same place." Hilde said with a dreamy glint in her
eye at the thought.
"Alright," Heero agreed. "Thanks for your help."
"Hey, Relena's not the only one who's been waiting for you to propose,"
Hilde
joked.
"We'll get you your reservations, and the rest is up to you, okay?"
Heero
nodded, then turned to leave. "Thanks for everything."
"Bye Heero!" Duo called cheerfully. "Good luck, not that you'll need
it,
hehe."
a few hours later...
"Heero, it was so nice of you to invite me out to dinner," Relena said
kindly.
"You don't know how much I appreciate this," she continued as Heero
pulled out her hair
for her.
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!," Relena screamed in pain but Heero reminded
her that unless she shut
up he would kill her and shove her in the big box he stole from the
jewelry store.
Heero managed to choke out a few words that made no sense to even him
as he
nervously sat in his own seat. The now bald Relena regarded Heero
curiously. Even if she had known
him for so long, he was sometimes still a mystery to her. But she
didn't mind that. Her
enigmatic hair was something she was used to and admired...and now it
was gone forever, never to be hers
again.
"But I don't know if he feels that way too..." she thought.
"Then again, he's already promised me he
won't leave again," she reassured herself, "So he must feel as much
blind hatred as I do for him." and she knew
how difficult it was to receive a
promise like that out of someone like Heero. Then she remembered that
she had tied him to a chair and held a
match near his blankie, threatening to burn it if he wouldn't promise
to never leave again. She remembered
his girlish scream and cackled evilly. "But still...why is he so
nervous? Maybe I shouldn't have threatened him
like that.."
Heero, well aware that Relena was observing him, attempted to regain
his
composure by donning the cold mask made of steal he had often used
during his battles in the war years ago to
scare off those he was fighting. It usually worked too because it had a
large purple teletubbie on the front.
"My mask looks good," he said stiffly, hoping that there that actually
steak on the menu, not a hunk of rubber like
last time, cause he liked steak a lot.
"The mask looks delicious," Relena said as she ripped it off of the
unsuspecting pilot's face and began to eat it,
progressing rather slowly since it was made of metal.
The only thing Heero managed to do was cower in fear, and he called the
waiter over to take the freak eating a
metal mask away from him.
Meanwhile...
"Duo, WHY are we doing this?!" Hilde whispered furiously. "I mean it is
kind of crowded to do it in this tent in the
wal-mart outdoors department don't you think? And this is the Wal-Mart
Heero and Relena are going to come
to in a while. and what's that camera for?"
As he struggled to hunch down behind the electric lantern and juggle
the camera and answer
an indignant Hilde at the same time, Duo hissed, "Hey, he's going to
thank me for
this one day! And besides, they're not here yet!"
"Which is why we should take this opportunity to GO HOME! And why would
he thank you for groping me in a tent
with a camera?"
Suddenly Wufei crawled out of a neighboring tent and dusted himself
off. He looked around briefly, then
turned his attention to Duo. He raised and eyebrow and walked off,
tripping on the tent display platform,
causing him to land flat on his face.
"INJUSTICE!!!!"
"Oh come on Hilde! I KNOW you want to do this."
"Well...yes, but a camera?! Duo, you aren't going to put pics of us
screwing in Wal-mart up on the internet
again, are you??"
Duo grinned, ";Aw, c'mon Hilde! You know just as well that no matter
how mad
you get, you will be too dizzy with happiness to care or remember this
incident, because
all you'll be thinking about at that point is Relena!"
Hilde sighed. "Fine, FINE!" she said, throwing up her legs in
exasperation.
"I'm out of arguments, but I still don't think this is a good..." she
started but was
abruptly cut off as Duo kissed her.
Regarding his stunned wife with satisfaction, Duo said smugly,
"You were saying?"
an hour later...
Relena regarded Heero with a worried expression. Heero had barely said
a word
all evening, besides asking her five times how her mask was without
looking at her for fear of seeing something he
did not wish to see... Relena.
He had also taken barely taken 470 bites of his steak.
"Heero," she started, "is something wrong?"
"NO!" shouted Heero, but calmed down and said, "no, I'm just not very
hungry, that's all," then added somewhat awkwardly, "I'm sorry if I
spoiled this evening for
you."
"Oh no, Heero!" Relena exclaimed. "I'm on fire! Don't worry; I love
it!" she blurted in a rush.
Heero felt a surge of warmth rush through him; probably because the
flames were growing larger and getting
quite near him and she had said she loved it.
"Well," he thought, "may as well get it done with." Heero said hastily
and absent-mindedly sprayed her with a fire
extinguisher.
Standing, he said, "You know, it's too crowded here." as he scanned the
room, seeing only 4 people, quietly
dining. "Let's go to Wal-Mart."
Relena stood also and smiled; Heero was finally cooling off. "That
would be wonderful,"
she said.
"Let's go then," Heero said, offering her an arm that he had ripped off
from an innocent person walking to the
bathroom.
at Wal-Mart...
"Here they come," Hilde whispered.
Readying his camera, Duo smirked, "Who's eager now, huh? Ow!" he
added, as
Hilde gave his braid a yank.
"Keep it down and maybe no one will see us here," she snarled quietly
in an effort to hide her embarrassment as
the shoppers who walked by stared in shock at the naked couple lying in
the broccoli.
The two watched Heero and Relena walk down the path. Neither were
talking, but
both looked wretched and possessed. As Relena was admiring the large
florescent lighting, Heero would keep
sliding his eyes over to her and then anxiously slip his hand inside
his purse to reassure
himself that the box was still there.(it was compactable) Finally, he
stopped in front of an isle, near where Duo and
Hilde were "hiding".
"Let's sit," he said, then berated himself mentally for sounding so
persnippity.
Relena, however, did not notice, and merely sat on the cold, hard
linoleum, smiling up at him.
"Isn't it so wonderful in here Heero?" she asked, smiling serenely.
"It's times
like these that really makes me think that fighting was a heck of a lot
more interesting than this story. What do you
think, Heero? Heero!" she gasped, since he was already flat on his
back, doing some bizarre, possessed dance
and foaming at the mouth.
"Here it comes!" Duo whispered excitedly, he sat up quickly and let out
the loudest, biggest burp ever.
"Relena," Heero choked, "I don't know how to say this because I'm
afraid I'm
not a romantic person, but even though I have so many faults...I think
you are a hideous freak of nature. How did
you get so ugly?" he finally finished.
"Heero!" Relena cried, "Oh Heero!" then she started sobbing.
Heero felt his heart rise, he thought Relena was finally dying, but
then Relena flung her arms around a passing
stranger and cried on his shoulder.
"Of course I will Heero! Oh, I thought you'd never ask; this is the
happiest day of my life!" she managed.
Temporarily stunned by her outburst, Heero slowly perceived the meaning
of her words. "You mean...you
mean...WHAT?!!?" he said out of utter confusion, afraid to believe what
she had said.
"YES!" she cried, "Yes, Heero Yuy, I will marry you! But aren't you
supposed to give me a ring or something??
What happened to that??"
"I don't remember asking you to marry me at all.." muttered the
confused gundam pilot.
"Shut up!" snapped Relena as she clung to Heero's arm, her eyes shaped
like hearts. Not actual, pink hearts
like in the cartoons, but her eye sockets mutated to become shaped like
hearts. It was indeed a very
disturbing thing to see. It frightened a small child and deeply
concerned a few people passing by, but did not
frighten them as much as Hilde and Duo, still lying in the broccoli in
their birthday suits.
And at that moment the camera exploded, causing shards of plastic to
embed themselves in Relena's face,
turning her into a hideous, deformed freak, even more so than she used
to be.
Wufei walked by, carrying a small basket of assorted goods, humming
"I'm a Little Tea Pot", when he
suddenly caught site of Hilde and Duo. He dropped his basket and his
stuff scattered across the floor. The
poor boy lay there on the linoleum, covering his eyes, trying to forget
the burning image of Duo's bare hind
end. Finally, he managed to choke out one word...
"INJUSTICE!!!"
obviously me and Laura don't own Gundam Wing. If we did, we'd be rich
and we'd be bragging about it all the time. So any ways... umm... to
help this fic make a little more sense to anyone who's reading it, our
friend actually wrote this fic and gave it to us to help edit. With the
fic in our hands and nothing to stop us, we butchered the poor fic
relentlessly. How did it turn out? Read and see! I'm not sure if bold
letters shows up here on ff.net, but if it does, the bold is obviously
the changes by Laura and myself. If it the bold doesn't show up, then I
guess this fic while just seem really really weird to you. If you e-
mail us and ask us nicely, maybe we'll send you the actual Microsoft
word file so you can read it with the bold stuff. Maybe. Some of the
stuff we added should be pretty obvious. Also as a lil' helper kind of
thing, this fic used to be really serious. But obviously, we changed
that quite a bit. ^.^
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Never Ending Injustice
Chapter 1
At the sound of the bell you will not remember anything that happened
in the past and you will think you are....
a chicken!
Duo Maxwell hurried to the front of the store.
"Aww...just when I was about to close up too," he protested good-
naturedly.
"Still, business is business I guess."
When he opened the door, he encountered a pair of cold blue eyes, eyes
that would have seemed unwelcoming and
dead to the average stranger.
"Oh look, its another visiting corpse! Silly dead bodies.. why don't
you stay in the ground.. oh! Heero! It's you!"
But to Duo, they were the eyes of someone who he used to think was
dead, but had now
discovered otherwise.
*flash back scene*
Heero lay on the ground in an odd pose; limbs sticking out in random
directions, looking, well, dead. A little
girl saw him and ran away screaming in terror. Another man took out a
cell phone to call 911 and report some
dead body lying in the middle of the children's play ground.
Duo fell out of some bushes, looking for Heero. He discovered the
strange boy and poked his motionless,
posing body with a stick.
"Hey Heero! Wanna get some ice cream?"
"Not now, I'm dead."
"No you're not, you just talked."
Heero sat up, looking somewhat shocked.
"Really? I'm not dead?"
"Yea.. you were alive yesterday too, baka."
Heero shrugged and looked up to Duo.
"So... still wanna get some ice cream?" asked Duo.
"Sure."
The two skipped merrily, arms linked, in the general direction of
wherever an ice cream store might be.
*end of flash back scene*
Even in that moment, Duo's sharp eyes could detect a flicker of life
in those eyes, a flicker of light found in those who have feelings and
emotions or, somebody who just has a light
being shined in their eye. But he
didn't sit on it; he was just glad to see the man.
"Heero! How are you? You haven't come by in so long that Hilde and I
thought
you'd pulled another one of your disappearing acts again or something!"
The solemn man didn't say anything for a moment, but then the corners
of his
mouth twitched in the semblance of a smile. Heero then shoved the
strange, solemn man away.
"Oh come on Heero! Smile! Come on, is a true real smile all that
difficult?"
Duo goaded gently. "Really, for someone who has waged war against this
entire
planet and then some, a smile can't be all that difficult!"
"Don't push it," Heero said wryly as he motioned to the weights hanging
from each corner of his mouth, ending
the subject, but he did do another
one of his half smiles, causing him to break a sweat with the effort
that was required to do so. "I've come to ask
a favor..." he began, but then trailed off awkwardly.
"Favor?! You, ask for favors?!" Duo exclaimed, then rapidly subsided
when he
saw the steely glint in Heero's eyes. "Alright," he said briskly, "what
can I do for
you?"
"Well..."Heero began in a strangled voice, then straightened his
shoulders and
shot the man who had been strangling him, "I need you suggest to me a,
ah, romantic place for
dinner," he finally choked out. Suddenly, he spontaneously combusted
and slowly formed back together.
Duo stared for a moment, too stunned to speak, and then managed, "Well,
ah,
sure, Heero, but WHAT THE HECK FOR?!"
"Um, well I was planning on going to the romantic restaurant to have a
romantic meal.. is that ok with you??"
"Don't be so cold Duo!" a new voice chided gently. Hilde walked in,
trailed by
a bouncy three-year-old rubber ball on a string tied to her left ankle.
"Heero, it's so nice to see you again! Duo and
I were hoping, I mean afraid you would never come back!"
"So I've heard."
"So what is it that you need? A romantic restaurant?" she inquired.
Encouraged by his tentative nod, she continued, "A personal favorite of
mine is the French
restaurant across town. It can be a little difficult to get
reservations, but since we've done the
manager a few times, well more than a few times, wink wink nudge nudge"
Hilde chortled, " I think we can get
you reservations. When do you need them?"
"Tonight."
"Okay," she said. "That shouldn't be too difficult."
Heero nodded. "Thank you, I owe you one dollar" Heero handed Duo a
one-dollar bill.
"Really, Heero! Gee thanks!" Duo said as he pocketed the dollar.
Heero's mouth twitched again and at that moment, Heero suddenly dropped
to the ground, convulsing, but no
one said anything. Instead, he looked
down at Hilde's little bouncy ball whom she had named Jericho, Jerry
for short.
"Hi Uncle Heero!" the child said enthusiastically.
"Hello Jerry," Heero responded, twitching all the while. "I wonder what
our internal organs would look like... on a
platter." he thought to himself as he unwittingly phased out into
space. "Whoops," he said and phased back.
Duo and Hilde exchanged glances. Regardless of how much he had
changed, it was
very unlike Heero to phaze out; rather, he was usually very sedentary.
"Heero," Hildebegan said gently (Hildebegan is the Maxwell's maid and
will never be mentioned again... well
maybe once... or twice.. oh well we will just have to wait and see),
"would this restaurant have anything to do with
Relena and the box I saw you
walk out of the jewelry store with this afternoon while I was
shopping?"
Heero abruptly jerked himself back to reality and stared at Hilde in
shock.
"How did she know I planned to kill her and bury her bloody corpse in a
box?!" he thought to himself furiously.
At the same time, Duo whirled around to stare at his wife.
"WHAT?!" he exclaimed. "Jewelry store?!"
"I...I mean..er, well, what I meant was... "Heero stuttered, then gave
up; it
would be useless to try to deny it. "I wouldn't have been like this
five years ago!" he
thought. "Why did I change?", then answered his own question. "I fell
off a cliff, that's what... I never have been
the same since that amnesia set in."
"Wow! Jewelry store, huh? Heero, you son of a gun, you're finally
going to do
it!" Duo cheered.
Jerry supported his father. "Uncle Heero, are you gonna get
married? Please don't uncle Heero please!! Relena is a mean nasty
bitch!"
"She might not say yes you know," Heero said stiffly. "I mean, I've
threatened to kill her quite a few times, tried to
kill her brother Zechs, and treated her like the stupid bitch she is...
I mean... I treated her unkindly."
Going up to Heero, Duo howled into his ear, "HEERO NO BAKA! You idiot!
Of
course she's going to say yes! She's been stalking obsessively you
ever since she first met you!
Really!"
As Duo howled at the moon about Heero's lack of sense, Hilde pointedly
ignored her
insane husband and instead focused on Heero. "Heero, that's
wonderful!" she said.
"But are you sure you want to propose in a crowded restaurant? Why not
take her
out for dinner, then suggest a visit to the wal-mart near here and
propose there? that would be much more romantic,
standing in the aisles of a store where you can buy your groceries, a
tent, and some underwear, and eat atMc
Donald's all in the same place." Hilde said with a dreamy glint in her
eye at the thought.
"Alright," Heero agreed. "Thanks for your help."
"Hey, Relena's not the only one who's been waiting for you to propose,"
Hilde
joked.
"We'll get you your reservations, and the rest is up to you, okay?"
Heero
nodded, then turned to leave. "Thanks for everything."
"Bye Heero!" Duo called cheerfully. "Good luck, not that you'll need
it,
hehe."
a few hours later...
"Heero, it was so nice of you to invite me out to dinner," Relena said
kindly.
"You don't know how much I appreciate this," she continued as Heero
pulled out her hair
for her.
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!," Relena screamed in pain but Heero reminded
her that unless she shut
up he would kill her and shove her in the big box he stole from the
jewelry store.
Heero managed to choke out a few words that made no sense to even him
as he
nervously sat in his own seat. The now bald Relena regarded Heero
curiously. Even if she had known
him for so long, he was sometimes still a mystery to her. But she
didn't mind that. Her
enigmatic hair was something she was used to and admired...and now it
was gone forever, never to be hers
again.
"But I don't know if he feels that way too..." she thought.
"Then again, he's already promised me he
won't leave again," she reassured herself, "So he must feel as much
blind hatred as I do for him." and she knew
how difficult it was to receive a
promise like that out of someone like Heero. Then she remembered that
she had tied him to a chair and held a
match near his blankie, threatening to burn it if he wouldn't promise
to never leave again. She remembered
his girlish scream and cackled evilly. "But still...why is he so
nervous? Maybe I shouldn't have threatened him
like that.."
Heero, well aware that Relena was observing him, attempted to regain
his
composure by donning the cold mask made of steal he had often used
during his battles in the war years ago to
scare off those he was fighting. It usually worked too because it had a
large purple teletubbie on the front.
"My mask looks good," he said stiffly, hoping that there that actually
steak on the menu, not a hunk of rubber like
last time, cause he liked steak a lot.
"The mask looks delicious," Relena said as she ripped it off of the
unsuspecting pilot's face and began to eat it,
progressing rather slowly since it was made of metal.
The only thing Heero managed to do was cower in fear, and he called the
waiter over to take the freak eating a
metal mask away from him.
Meanwhile...
"Duo, WHY are we doing this?!" Hilde whispered furiously. "I mean it is
kind of crowded to do it in this tent in the
wal-mart outdoors department don't you think? And this is the Wal-Mart
Heero and Relena are going to come
to in a while. and what's that camera for?"
As he struggled to hunch down behind the electric lantern and juggle
the camera and answer
an indignant Hilde at the same time, Duo hissed, "Hey, he's going to
thank me for
this one day! And besides, they're not here yet!"
"Which is why we should take this opportunity to GO HOME! And why would
he thank you for groping me in a tent
with a camera?"
Suddenly Wufei crawled out of a neighboring tent and dusted himself
off. He looked around briefly, then
turned his attention to Duo. He raised and eyebrow and walked off,
tripping on the tent display platform,
causing him to land flat on his face.
"INJUSTICE!!!!"
"Oh come on Hilde! I KNOW you want to do this."
"Well...yes, but a camera?! Duo, you aren't going to put pics of us
screwing in Wal-mart up on the internet
again, are you??"
Duo grinned, ";Aw, c'mon Hilde! You know just as well that no matter
how mad
you get, you will be too dizzy with happiness to care or remember this
incident, because
all you'll be thinking about at that point is Relena!"
Hilde sighed. "Fine, FINE!" she said, throwing up her legs in
exasperation.
"I'm out of arguments, but I still don't think this is a good..." she
started but was
abruptly cut off as Duo kissed her.
Regarding his stunned wife with satisfaction, Duo said smugly,
"You were saying?"
an hour later...
Relena regarded Heero with a worried expression. Heero had barely said
a word
all evening, besides asking her five times how her mask was without
looking at her for fear of seeing something he
did not wish to see... Relena.
He had also taken barely taken 470 bites of his steak.
"Heero," she started, "is something wrong?"
"NO!" shouted Heero, but calmed down and said, "no, I'm just not very
hungry, that's all," then added somewhat awkwardly, "I'm sorry if I
spoiled this evening for
you."
"Oh no, Heero!" Relena exclaimed. "I'm on fire! Don't worry; I love
it!" she blurted in a rush.
Heero felt a surge of warmth rush through him; probably because the
flames were growing larger and getting
quite near him and she had said she loved it.
"Well," he thought, "may as well get it done with." Heero said hastily
and absent-mindedly sprayed her with a fire
extinguisher.
Standing, he said, "You know, it's too crowded here." as he scanned the
room, seeing only 4 people, quietly
dining. "Let's go to Wal-Mart."
Relena stood also and smiled; Heero was finally cooling off. "That
would be wonderful,"
she said.
"Let's go then," Heero said, offering her an arm that he had ripped off
from an innocent person walking to the
bathroom.
at Wal-Mart...
"Here they come," Hilde whispered.
Readying his camera, Duo smirked, "Who's eager now, huh? Ow!" he
added, as
Hilde gave his braid a yank.
"Keep it down and maybe no one will see us here," she snarled quietly
in an effort to hide her embarrassment as
the shoppers who walked by stared in shock at the naked couple lying in
the broccoli.
The two watched Heero and Relena walk down the path. Neither were
talking, but
both looked wretched and possessed. As Relena was admiring the large
florescent lighting, Heero would keep
sliding his eyes over to her and then anxiously slip his hand inside
his purse to reassure
himself that the box was still there.(it was compactable) Finally, he
stopped in front of an isle, near where Duo and
Hilde were "hiding".
"Let's sit," he said, then berated himself mentally for sounding so
persnippity.
Relena, however, did not notice, and merely sat on the cold, hard
linoleum, smiling up at him.
"Isn't it so wonderful in here Heero?" she asked, smiling serenely.
"It's times
like these that really makes me think that fighting was a heck of a lot
more interesting than this story. What do you
think, Heero? Heero!" she gasped, since he was already flat on his
back, doing some bizarre, possessed dance
and foaming at the mouth.
"Here it comes!" Duo whispered excitedly, he sat up quickly and let out
the loudest, biggest burp ever.
"Relena," Heero choked, "I don't know how to say this because I'm
afraid I'm
not a romantic person, but even though I have so many faults...I think
you are a hideous freak of nature. How did
you get so ugly?" he finally finished.
"Heero!" Relena cried, "Oh Heero!" then she started sobbing.
Heero felt his heart rise, he thought Relena was finally dying, but
then Relena flung her arms around a passing
stranger and cried on his shoulder.
"Of course I will Heero! Oh, I thought you'd never ask; this is the
happiest day of my life!" she managed.
Temporarily stunned by her outburst, Heero slowly perceived the meaning
of her words. "You mean...you
mean...WHAT?!!?" he said out of utter confusion, afraid to believe what
she had said.
"YES!" she cried, "Yes, Heero Yuy, I will marry you! But aren't you
supposed to give me a ring or something??
What happened to that??"
"I don't remember asking you to marry me at all.." muttered the
confused gundam pilot.
"Shut up!" snapped Relena as she clung to Heero's arm, her eyes shaped
like hearts. Not actual, pink hearts
like in the cartoons, but her eye sockets mutated to become shaped like
hearts. It was indeed a very
disturbing thing to see. It frightened a small child and deeply
concerned a few people passing by, but did not
frighten them as much as Hilde and Duo, still lying in the broccoli in
their birthday suits.
And at that moment the camera exploded, causing shards of plastic to
embed themselves in Relena's face,
turning her into a hideous, deformed freak, even more so than she used
to be.
Wufei walked by, carrying a small basket of assorted goods, humming
"I'm a Little Tea Pot", when he
suddenly caught site of Hilde and Duo. He dropped his basket and his
stuff scattered across the floor. The
poor boy lay there on the linoleum, covering his eyes, trying to forget
the burning image of Duo's bare hind
end. Finally, he managed to choke out one word...
"INJUSTICE!!!"