Chapter 2
a few months later...
"Which is better, the pink or the blue?" Relena asked Dorothy as she
whirled
around holding up two sets of knives.
"Blue," Dorothy said immediately. "It matches your eyes."
"I think the blue is beautiful, Miss Relena," Mariemaia said, not
looking up as she continued to carve her Relena
voodoo doll from a hunk of mishapen wood.
After the near disaster with her abusive, child-molesting father a few
years back, Mariemaia had become a much
quieter child. In fact, she had been downright withdrawn for a year
before Lady Une had managed to gently coax her
out of her shell. Mariemaia was not too happy to give up her ninja
turtle costume, but Une had offered her a
cookie and you can never turn down free food.
"You think so?" Relena smiled at the solemn girl. "Yes, I have to
agree with
you two. I like the blue too. Okay then," she said, turning to the
slapjack , "now, which
is better, white with pink and yellow or white with purple and blue?"
"Relena!" her mother laughed. "Relax! You still have several months,
and the
majority of the details haven't all been planned. You just need to
decide on the final
details, oh, and the other ones too. Hmm, I guess you're screwed after
all."
"Your mother is right Relena," Dorothy agreed. "The church has been
burned down to the ground, the plans with
the restaurant and reception terminated, the musicians have been dealt
with so that they won't run away in terror
anymore when they see you, your dress and the dresses of the
bridesmaids have been ripped to shreds, and
flower girl," she added, acknowledging
Mariemaia, who then flipped her off, "altered so that flower petals
shoot at incredibly high speeds from her
hands, Heero's found a suit he actually likes, a purple bunny suit that
is, and the same goes for the others, your
brother has been found and brutally tortured until he promised to come,
the press has been informed..."
"Oh the press!" Relena said disgustedly. "They're so nosy!"
"Yes, well, you ARE Relena Peacecraft," Dorothy said mildly. "It's
something a
princess must deal with. Every one knows that once you become famous,
you are not allowed to have any
privacy whatsoever."
"And I'm sure they can't be as bad as Duo," Hilde remarked, remembering
the
incident a few months back. Relena had to laugh at that one, seeing as
how Hilde had a gun pointed to her head.
"Yes, I remember the look on
Heero's face quite well," she chuckled. "It was most interesting to
see the expressions on
his face change back and forth."
At first, Heero had been completely shocked, then livid with
rage, and then his mouth twitched and he burst out laughing insanely.
His eyes glowed a demonic red as he
pulled out a dagger and stabbed Duo several times. Of course, he had
given Duo's braid
an extra hard tug afterwards, but somehow Duo survived, contradicting
what Hilde had hoped.. I mean predicted.
"He requested copies of the picture later didn't he," Relena said, and
Hilde questioned, "what picture?".
"Exactly what happened?" Dorothy demanded. "I've heard this story so
many
times, but I'm still confused."
"Well gosh, SOMEBODY's a retard. *cough*Dorothy." said Relena in a
rather menacing tone.
"Duo went out on a suicide mission and he dragged me with him," Hilde
said. "We hid in the produce section of
wal-mart for nearly 3 1/2 minutes, but sadly the camera exploded and
those hideous scars on Relena's are
from the shards of plastic that embedded themselves into her skin. He
had intended for that to kill him
instead it just made Relena horribly disfigured.
"And Heero let him get away with it?" Dorothy said incredulously. "I'm
surprised, no, I'm downright shocked!" Dorothy added, as she pulled her
finger from the electric outlet on the
wall.
"Yes, well, Heero HAS changed," Relena said softly, staring off into
space, mentally picturing the strange green
tentacles that had sprouted from his arms.
"But enough of that," she said abruptly. "What about these slapjacks?"
Everyone gave a small sigh, then burst out laughing as they all said in
unison, "God Relena, you're such an idiot.
Shut up about your damn slapjacks, already!"
downstairs...
"So Heero, am I a good photographer or am I not?" Duo said smugly,
admiring an
enlarged version of the picture he took months ago. It only showed
Heero's elbow and an obese, sweaty woman
with a hairy chin, but they hung it up any way. "NOW are you glad you
didn't rip the camera from my hands and
tear out the film?"
Heero grunted, trying to ignore Duo, which is what he usually did
whenever Duo
became particularly annoying.
"I still don't understand why you let him get away with it," Wufei
remarked, "I
probably wouldn't have if I were in your position."
"Relena has changed him," Trowa said calmly noticing the diaper Heero
was wearing from his usual position,
leaned
against the wall with his arms crossed. "Not that I'm saying it's a
bad thing. Cause he would really stink if she
didn't"
"Oh come on you guys, leave Heero alone," Quatre said as he offered
them a buscuit.
"Leave him alone?! Oh come on Quatre, have some FUN! Be adventurous!"
Duo
teased.
"I usually leave that up to Dorothy," Quatre said somewhat weakly.
Wufei let out a snort. "Oink oink! I'm a piggy!" Wufei giggled, very
proud of his statement.
"Dorothy's changed!" Quatre said defensively. "She doesn't pretend to
love war
like she used to, and she's different now!"
"With just the occasional extreme mood swing," Duo ate a snickers.
"Lay on Quatre now," Trowa said but no one followed his command. "It's
not his fault that Dorothy was
raised the way she was."
"It's okay Trowa," Quatre smiled. "I know that they're just joking
around.
Anyway, isn't Zechs supposed to be coming back today? I haven't seen
him or Miss Noin,
er, Mrs. Merquise, for years!"
Heero nodded. "They said they would come at two. It's almost one now.
Why the hell aren't they here yet!! oh
wait never mind. "
Just then Relena, Dorothy, Hilde, and Mariemaia fell downstairs.
"Hey how's the bachelor party coming along?" Dorothy called out in
greeting as
she went to wrap her arms around Quatre. Quatre blushed and smiled a
somewhat deleterious
grin.
Shocked, Duo stood up. "THIS is our bachelor party?! Where the hell is
the stripper? Heero! You suck at
bachelor parties! I'm going home!!" he shouted as he stormed off, not
quite sure about where the exit was.
Wufei rolled his eyes, and everyone else hid a smile. It was common
knowledge
that Dorothy definitely was the dominant one in the relationship. Duo
had even joked once
that she probably had a leash that she chained him to, which had earned
him a hard smack on the
ass from Dorothy and a painful tug on his left lung from Hilde.
"We're just fine," Quatre said, still with the silly grin plastered on
his
face, unfortunately, Quatre's talking cracked the plaster and his grin
fell off. Just then the door opened, and in
walked Lady Une. Though Mariemaia was the
illegitimate daughter of Lady Une's late lover, Treize Kushrenada, and
Leia Barton, Lady Une still
hated Mariemaia very much.
"Mariemaia, it's time to go home. You have school tomorrow," she said
after greeting the others with a brief nod.
Obediently, Mariemaia stood to go.
"What, you put your daughter to bed at 2 in the afternoon???" a voice
remarked. As everyone turned around, in
walked Zechs,
Lucrezia, and their two children, identical twins Reena and Aelis, who
were three years
old.
Leaping to her feet, Relena ran over to her brother. "Zechs!" she
cried,
flinging her arms at him, "your hair is so long!"
Smiling faintly down at her, Zechs reprimanded her harshly, "I am no
longer a
Peacecraft, and so therefore I am not your brother, so get the hell
away from me, you psychotic bitch. Seeing as
how I genetically altered myself to no longer be related to you in any
way, you are not allowed to touch me at
all."
But he still returned the embrace, and then turned his gun to Heero.
The two stared at each other for a minute, finally
Zechs
extended his hand as he ripped off his cheaply made Zechs Merquise
mask, revealing himself to be Vegeta
from Dragon Ball Z. His extended hand glowed with the flow of charging
ki and he fired a big bang attack at
Heero. The attack "accidentally" missed and killed Relena instead.
"Heero Yuy," he began formally, "we meet again, and finally under the
joyous
circumstances. Of my sis.. I mean that stupid chicks death."
Heero simply nodded, and everyone held their breath. Zechs and Heero
had once
been enemies; how would they react now that they would have a common
link between the
two of them? Finally, Heero extended his hand also, revealing himself
to be Piccolo as he fired a makankosappo
and everyone breathed again. Relena
stopped looking anxiously from one to the other, seeing as she was
dead.
Suddenly, out of nowhere emerged Relena-tron 5000. Every one rolled
their eyes in annoyance that Relena
was back, or at least some grotesque android that looked and acted
exactly like her.
Relena-tron 5000 turned her attention to Lucrezia. "Miss Noin, I'm
glad to finally see
you again! I never got a chance to thank you for helping with my terra
cotta forming
project! Or wait, it's Mrs. Merquise now isn't it?"
Lucrezia smiled and said, "For old time's sake, let's just call me Miss
Noin.
I've never really liked the concept of changing last names especially
when it is such a crappy one."
Wufei let out another snort, though this time a discreet one. Though
he had to
admit to himself grudgingly that Miss Noin had indeed proven her
prowess on the
battlefield, Wufei still had difficulties overcoming his chauvinistic
beliefs, mainly because he saw no
reason to. As he took a closer look, he saw the two little girls
mauling each other. "Twins," he muttered to himself.
Wufei hated twins. When he was younger, he had a twin, Hildebegan. She
had been an evil, sadistic twin who
always abused him to the point where he spent his days in the crib
cowering in the corner, twitching in fear.
Then an unexpected pain went through him, like a icy hand gripping his
heart. Jerking
himself upright, he quickly pulled his katana out of his chest, which
he had accidentally leaned on. He didn't
care that he was at a wedding, he HAD to have his beloved katana
wherever he went.
"INJUSTICE!!!" screamed Wufei for no apparent reason..
a few months later...
"Which is better, the pink or the blue?" Relena asked Dorothy as she
whirled
around holding up two sets of knives.
"Blue," Dorothy said immediately. "It matches your eyes."
"I think the blue is beautiful, Miss Relena," Mariemaia said, not
looking up as she continued to carve her Relena
voodoo doll from a hunk of mishapen wood.
After the near disaster with her abusive, child-molesting father a few
years back, Mariemaia had become a much
quieter child. In fact, she had been downright withdrawn for a year
before Lady Une had managed to gently coax her
out of her shell. Mariemaia was not too happy to give up her ninja
turtle costume, but Une had offered her a
cookie and you can never turn down free food.
"You think so?" Relena smiled at the solemn girl. "Yes, I have to
agree with
you two. I like the blue too. Okay then," she said, turning to the
slapjack , "now, which
is better, white with pink and yellow or white with purple and blue?"
"Relena!" her mother laughed. "Relax! You still have several months,
and the
majority of the details haven't all been planned. You just need to
decide on the final
details, oh, and the other ones too. Hmm, I guess you're screwed after
all."
"Your mother is right Relena," Dorothy agreed. "The church has been
burned down to the ground, the plans with
the restaurant and reception terminated, the musicians have been dealt
with so that they won't run away in terror
anymore when they see you, your dress and the dresses of the
bridesmaids have been ripped to shreds, and
flower girl," she added, acknowledging
Mariemaia, who then flipped her off, "altered so that flower petals
shoot at incredibly high speeds from her
hands, Heero's found a suit he actually likes, a purple bunny suit that
is, and the same goes for the others, your
brother has been found and brutally tortured until he promised to come,
the press has been informed..."
"Oh the press!" Relena said disgustedly. "They're so nosy!"
"Yes, well, you ARE Relena Peacecraft," Dorothy said mildly. "It's
something a
princess must deal with. Every one knows that once you become famous,
you are not allowed to have any
privacy whatsoever."
"And I'm sure they can't be as bad as Duo," Hilde remarked, remembering
the
incident a few months back. Relena had to laugh at that one, seeing as
how Hilde had a gun pointed to her head.
"Yes, I remember the look on
Heero's face quite well," she chuckled. "It was most interesting to
see the expressions on
his face change back and forth."
At first, Heero had been completely shocked, then livid with
rage, and then his mouth twitched and he burst out laughing insanely.
His eyes glowed a demonic red as he
pulled out a dagger and stabbed Duo several times. Of course, he had
given Duo's braid
an extra hard tug afterwards, but somehow Duo survived, contradicting
what Hilde had hoped.. I mean predicted.
"He requested copies of the picture later didn't he," Relena said, and
Hilde questioned, "what picture?".
"Exactly what happened?" Dorothy demanded. "I've heard this story so
many
times, but I'm still confused."
"Well gosh, SOMEBODY's a retard. *cough*Dorothy." said Relena in a
rather menacing tone.
"Duo went out on a suicide mission and he dragged me with him," Hilde
said. "We hid in the produce section of
wal-mart for nearly 3 1/2 minutes, but sadly the camera exploded and
those hideous scars on Relena's are
from the shards of plastic that embedded themselves into her skin. He
had intended for that to kill him
instead it just made Relena horribly disfigured.
"And Heero let him get away with it?" Dorothy said incredulously. "I'm
surprised, no, I'm downright shocked!" Dorothy added, as she pulled her
finger from the electric outlet on the
wall.
"Yes, well, Heero HAS changed," Relena said softly, staring off into
space, mentally picturing the strange green
tentacles that had sprouted from his arms.
"But enough of that," she said abruptly. "What about these slapjacks?"
Everyone gave a small sigh, then burst out laughing as they all said in
unison, "God Relena, you're such an idiot.
Shut up about your damn slapjacks, already!"
downstairs...
"So Heero, am I a good photographer or am I not?" Duo said smugly,
admiring an
enlarged version of the picture he took months ago. It only showed
Heero's elbow and an obese, sweaty woman
with a hairy chin, but they hung it up any way. "NOW are you glad you
didn't rip the camera from my hands and
tear out the film?"
Heero grunted, trying to ignore Duo, which is what he usually did
whenever Duo
became particularly annoying.
"I still don't understand why you let him get away with it," Wufei
remarked, "I
probably wouldn't have if I were in your position."
"Relena has changed him," Trowa said calmly noticing the diaper Heero
was wearing from his usual position,
leaned
against the wall with his arms crossed. "Not that I'm saying it's a
bad thing. Cause he would really stink if she
didn't"
"Oh come on you guys, leave Heero alone," Quatre said as he offered
them a buscuit.
"Leave him alone?! Oh come on Quatre, have some FUN! Be adventurous!"
Duo
teased.
"I usually leave that up to Dorothy," Quatre said somewhat weakly.
Wufei let out a snort. "Oink oink! I'm a piggy!" Wufei giggled, very
proud of his statement.
"Dorothy's changed!" Quatre said defensively. "She doesn't pretend to
love war
like she used to, and she's different now!"
"With just the occasional extreme mood swing," Duo ate a snickers.
"Lay on Quatre now," Trowa said but no one followed his command. "It's
not his fault that Dorothy was
raised the way she was."
"It's okay Trowa," Quatre smiled. "I know that they're just joking
around.
Anyway, isn't Zechs supposed to be coming back today? I haven't seen
him or Miss Noin,
er, Mrs. Merquise, for years!"
Heero nodded. "They said they would come at two. It's almost one now.
Why the hell aren't they here yet!! oh
wait never mind. "
Just then Relena, Dorothy, Hilde, and Mariemaia fell downstairs.
"Hey how's the bachelor party coming along?" Dorothy called out in
greeting as
she went to wrap her arms around Quatre. Quatre blushed and smiled a
somewhat deleterious
grin.
Shocked, Duo stood up. "THIS is our bachelor party?! Where the hell is
the stripper? Heero! You suck at
bachelor parties! I'm going home!!" he shouted as he stormed off, not
quite sure about where the exit was.
Wufei rolled his eyes, and everyone else hid a smile. It was common
knowledge
that Dorothy definitely was the dominant one in the relationship. Duo
had even joked once
that she probably had a leash that she chained him to, which had earned
him a hard smack on the
ass from Dorothy and a painful tug on his left lung from Hilde.
"We're just fine," Quatre said, still with the silly grin plastered on
his
face, unfortunately, Quatre's talking cracked the plaster and his grin
fell off. Just then the door opened, and in
walked Lady Une. Though Mariemaia was the
illegitimate daughter of Lady Une's late lover, Treize Kushrenada, and
Leia Barton, Lady Une still
hated Mariemaia very much.
"Mariemaia, it's time to go home. You have school tomorrow," she said
after greeting the others with a brief nod.
Obediently, Mariemaia stood to go.
"What, you put your daughter to bed at 2 in the afternoon???" a voice
remarked. As everyone turned around, in
walked Zechs,
Lucrezia, and their two children, identical twins Reena and Aelis, who
were three years
old.
Leaping to her feet, Relena ran over to her brother. "Zechs!" she
cried,
flinging her arms at him, "your hair is so long!"
Smiling faintly down at her, Zechs reprimanded her harshly, "I am no
longer a
Peacecraft, and so therefore I am not your brother, so get the hell
away from me, you psychotic bitch. Seeing as
how I genetically altered myself to no longer be related to you in any
way, you are not allowed to touch me at
all."
But he still returned the embrace, and then turned his gun to Heero.
The two stared at each other for a minute, finally
Zechs
extended his hand as he ripped off his cheaply made Zechs Merquise
mask, revealing himself to be Vegeta
from Dragon Ball Z. His extended hand glowed with the flow of charging
ki and he fired a big bang attack at
Heero. The attack "accidentally" missed and killed Relena instead.
"Heero Yuy," he began formally, "we meet again, and finally under the
joyous
circumstances. Of my sis.. I mean that stupid chicks death."
Heero simply nodded, and everyone held their breath. Zechs and Heero
had once
been enemies; how would they react now that they would have a common
link between the
two of them? Finally, Heero extended his hand also, revealing himself
to be Piccolo as he fired a makankosappo
and everyone breathed again. Relena
stopped looking anxiously from one to the other, seeing as she was
dead.
Suddenly, out of nowhere emerged Relena-tron 5000. Every one rolled
their eyes in annoyance that Relena
was back, or at least some grotesque android that looked and acted
exactly like her.
Relena-tron 5000 turned her attention to Lucrezia. "Miss Noin, I'm
glad to finally see
you again! I never got a chance to thank you for helping with my terra
cotta forming
project! Or wait, it's Mrs. Merquise now isn't it?"
Lucrezia smiled and said, "For old time's sake, let's just call me Miss
Noin.
I've never really liked the concept of changing last names especially
when it is such a crappy one."
Wufei let out another snort, though this time a discreet one. Though
he had to
admit to himself grudgingly that Miss Noin had indeed proven her
prowess on the
battlefield, Wufei still had difficulties overcoming his chauvinistic
beliefs, mainly because he saw no
reason to. As he took a closer look, he saw the two little girls
mauling each other. "Twins," he muttered to himself.
Wufei hated twins. When he was younger, he had a twin, Hildebegan. She
had been an evil, sadistic twin who
always abused him to the point where he spent his days in the crib
cowering in the corner, twitching in fear.
Then an unexpected pain went through him, like a icy hand gripping his
heart. Jerking
himself upright, he quickly pulled his katana out of his chest, which
he had accidentally leaned on. He didn't
care that he was at a wedding, he HAD to have his beloved katana
wherever he went.
"INJUSTICE!!!" screamed Wufei for no apparent reason..