Chapter 4
The private moment Heero and Relena-tron 5000 had been sharing was
suddenly interrupted (thank God).
As they were heading towards the restaurant, Heero suddenly stiffened
and stared out the
window, but then he usually did that when he was that close to Relena.
Sensing his tension, Relena-tron 5000 promptly sat up.
"Heero, what's wrong?"
Heero didn't respond, only looked grimly through the window. Relena-
tron 5000 was
shocked to see the expression on his face; he had donned the Teletubbie
Mask of Doom once again, the same
mask that he had had during the war. It was a face Relena-tron 5000
was terrified of, the mask of being
totally devoted to a cause, whether it be right or wrong, and willing
to shove aside anything, even Relena-tron 5000,
in its path. Then she looked out the window.
"Why are all those people gathered around that skyscraper staring at
the
screen? Wait...there's someone on that screen! (well no duh Relena-tron
5000 hundreds of people gathered
around to watch a completely blank screen) But I can't tell who it
is...Heero, do
you know who that is? Heero?!"
But Heero had already opened the door to the slowly stopping car and
jumped
out.
"Stop the car!" Relena-tron 5000 ordered, and followed Heero.
"Umm.. we're already doing that.. that would be why the car is slowing
down."
"Shut up and stop damnit!"
Heero grimly strode towards the mob of people gathered around the
building, or
more specifically, the giant screen mounted on the building. As he
walked, he
couldn't help but think has this screen always been here? And if not
didn't anyone notice the hundreds of men
it must have taken to put it there? I mean they must have closed this
road for weeks. Here he was, on the
*cough* happiest day of his life, and
suddenly this mysterious figure appeared. Though nothing seemed to
have happened so far,
Heero had not spent his years fighting in vain; well, actually yes he
had but, shut up! stop discouraging him.
Relena-tron 5000 followed Heero, squeezing through the still growing
mob. She could
barely keep up with Heero, who was heading his way towards the front of
the crowd. As she
neared the front, she could already see Duo and Hilde, Zechs and Noin,
Trowa, Wufei, Quatre and
Dorothy, and Lady Une with Mariemaia. They had some how magically beat
the limo there even through the mob
of wedding press and well-wishers.
On the screen was a figure in shadow. It was impossible to identify the
speaker, let alone determine whether it was male or female, even though
everyone hoped that no female had
such a masculine build. Then suddenly, they realized that it indeed WAS
a woman, or at least she said she
was. The figure in shadow was... Chyna! The 9th wonder of the world!.
She appeared to be regarding the
Gundam pilots with a coolly appraising look. As Relena-tron 5000 went
to join Heero, it shifted its
stare towards her, probably because she was so hideously ugly.
"Greetings, Mrs. Relena-tron 5000 Peacecraft Darlian Yuy," the figure
said, gasping for breath by the time he
managed to say her entire name. but the voice
was so icy and devoid of human emotion that Relena-tron 5000 was taken
a back pack.
"Greeti-" she started to respond, but a swift look from Heero convinced
her
otherwise Most likely because red lazers shot from his eyes punching
holes through her back and voice box.
"I am the pilot of the mobile suit known as Tinky Winky, and I am
addressing you on
behalf of an elite organization. This organization is small, nameless,
in fact it is completely non-exsistant... I
mean.. FEAR ME!!! For these past years, they have been watching this
planet and the
space colonies closely, and-
"What is your point?" Zechs demanded in a harsh voice.
The figure curled her lips upward in a mockery of a smile. "Mr. Zechs
Merquise, yes, you have always disliked elaborate speech. Forgive me,"
the figure said
sarcastically, "for offending you. Let me try saying this is much
simpler terms that you can understand. Let's
see... how should I say... 'Yo Momma!' But per your request, I will cut
to the chase, so to speak. Mrs. Yuy, they are
declaring war."
"War?! But why? There has been continuous peace for the last few
years."
"Exactly. I won't try to hide it; we have very very short attention
spans, so we are getting rather bored of peace.
C'mon! Let's see something blow up! so therefore, with the colonies and
Earth completely defenseless, We will
achieve nothing by defeating them, but they will be easy targets and
lots of fun to blow up. One bold stroke, and
you will all be at
their mercy."
"You speak as if you are not a part of this 'elite organization,'"
Heero spoke
up cooly as he pulled on a pair of MIB-style shades and did a thumbs-up
to the camera.
"What about you? What do you plan on getting out of this?"
"Nothing...absolutely nothing. I am simply very very stupid. And there
is also a man behind with a gun to my
head." There are muffled whispers. "I mean," the figure began again
not very convincingly, "I am just really
really devoted to this stupid cause."
"Then why fight?!" Relena-tron 5000 cried in frustration. "Surely you
are skilled enough
to break away from these tyrants!"
"Uhhh... that is my concern, and none of yours, Mrs. Yuy." The figure
then muttered quietly to himself, saying
something about "damn dirty apes."
"So now what?" Wufei spoke up. "You've declared war; we are
defenseless; what
now? INJUSTICE!!!!"
Even though he had not spoke calmly, inside, Wufei was seething. "How
could I have been
so stupid?! As a Preventer, I should have been able to detect this a
long time ago! How long
have they been planning this takeover? INJUSTICE TIMES INFINITY!!!' He
just realized he had been speaking out
loud and blushed,.
"My superiors are in favor of striking now, as we speak. But I...have
convinced them otherwise."
"Why? To humiliate us?"
"You are truly a member of the Chang clan; the emphasis you place on
your pride
is obvious. Be careful; it will be your downfall. But yes, that is my
general idea. You look so silly when you are all
mad."
"INJUSTICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Touche, Wufei, I admit your point."
"And you STILL haven't answered my question!"
"I just did, Chang Wufei. Gosh, you really ARE stupid. I have my
reasons, which are not your concern. But I will
tell you this: I have bought you three years, cost me one pretty penny
too."
The camera pans over to show a shelf with several very shiny pennies on
it, "Get it? PRETTY PENNY??
hahahahahaha On this day, AC 203, we will attack.
You have until now to then to prepare yourselves. Arm yourselves
however you wish."
Quatre spoke up, "Really? Any way we want? Spoons? Leaf blowers?
ANYTHING?"
A brief silence, and the figure smiled again. "Tinky Winky and I will
be waiting
for you. But our fight is not with the civilians. It is YOU we wish to
fight."
"Well damn, there go my plans of forcing the civilians into battle...
Why do you want to fight the stupid
gundam pilots anyhow?" Hilde
demanded.
"Because then this story would have no plot, duh!," the figure stated
flatly. "In fact, I have doubts about the abilities of you pilots as
well, but that
doesn't matter. You will represent the people of Earth and the
colonies. Defeat myself and Tinky Winky
along with the very few other members of our little group, and you have
saved your future.
Lose..." and the figure let the sentence hang. "Also, by fighting you
alone, the number of
casualties will be minimized, though others are welcome to commit
suicide by attempting to
challenge me. Well, actually, if you all attacked me at once, I'm sure
you could beat me and not have
ANYBODY die, but hey, where's the fun in that???" the speaker added
sardonically.
"Since when were we concerned about civilian casualties?!" Dorothy
snapped.
Shrugging off Quatre's arm which then fell to the floor, she continued,
" I mean I just ran over six small children
trying to get here. Your dictatorship that you are threatening to
establish will result in the loss of lives as it is; no one
will be willing to accept your
tyrannical rule, and we will all fight and die rather than accept it!"
The crowd cheered when Dorothy fell face down in reverence. Actually,
somebody just shoved her down since
her eyebrows are so freakishly ugly.
But the figure was not at all intimidated. "Miss Dorothy, let us worry
about that later. Focus yourself on plucking
your damn eyebrows. My advice to you is to establish a base in space;
the
little 'summer home' you and Quatre have used for many a, ah,
interesting, evening, will suffice." Without waiting for
Quatre or Dorothy to say anything, the figure continued. "Yes, I DO
know what you have been doing in there..
and it's all recorded on my handy dandy spy cameras. I never really
knew that it was your house, but I just
wanted to spy on somebody, and who'da thunk it, it was you! Don't think
I haven't made quite the profit from
your little.. 'movies'."
Dorothy could feel her cheeks turn red, she had landed on a ketchup
packet when she fell over, and Quatre
groaned because he just discovered that Dorothy had shot him with a
poison arrow and he would soon be
asleep for several days.
But the speaker seemed oblivious, simply continuing with, "And one more
thing: if you plan on rebuilding your
gundams the exact way as they were four years ago, forget it. You will
be crushed, and I hate wasting
time. Even though I'm going to go float around in space doing
absolutely nothing for 3 years. I look forward to
meeting you in battle in three years."
"Wait!" someone in the crowd (named RELENA-TRON 5000 PEACECRAFT DARLIAN
YUY). "How do we know
you're not bluffing, huh? This
could be some joke for all we know!"
"Quiet!" Heero hissed, whirling around, but it was too late; the damage
was
done.
"So you need proof, is that it?" the figure said coldly. "Well, then,
here is
your proof. I hope you enjoy the fireworks." Turning around, the
figure barked,
"Detonate satellite MO4 now!"
"NO!" shouted Relena-tron 5000. "There are civili-"
Her words were cut off as a bright flash lit the area. Fearfully, the
entire
crowd turned towards its source: a ball of explosive light as bright as
a supernova
was in the sky. The crowed watched in amazement and cries of, "ooh,"
and "Ahhh," were heard.
"There's your proof. Goodbye," the figure said dully, and disappeared.
"Oh no! Sally Po was on that satellite!" shouted a random member of the
crowd.
"JUSTICE HAS FINALLY COME!!!!!" Wufei cheered while jumping up and clicking
his heels.
The private moment Heero and Relena-tron 5000 had been sharing was
suddenly interrupted (thank God).
As they were heading towards the restaurant, Heero suddenly stiffened
and stared out the
window, but then he usually did that when he was that close to Relena.
Sensing his tension, Relena-tron 5000 promptly sat up.
"Heero, what's wrong?"
Heero didn't respond, only looked grimly through the window. Relena-
tron 5000 was
shocked to see the expression on his face; he had donned the Teletubbie
Mask of Doom once again, the same
mask that he had had during the war. It was a face Relena-tron 5000
was terrified of, the mask of being
totally devoted to a cause, whether it be right or wrong, and willing
to shove aside anything, even Relena-tron 5000,
in its path. Then she looked out the window.
"Why are all those people gathered around that skyscraper staring at
the
screen? Wait...there's someone on that screen! (well no duh Relena-tron
5000 hundreds of people gathered
around to watch a completely blank screen) But I can't tell who it
is...Heero, do
you know who that is? Heero?!"
But Heero had already opened the door to the slowly stopping car and
jumped
out.
"Stop the car!" Relena-tron 5000 ordered, and followed Heero.
"Umm.. we're already doing that.. that would be why the car is slowing
down."
"Shut up and stop damnit!"
Heero grimly strode towards the mob of people gathered around the
building, or
more specifically, the giant screen mounted on the building. As he
walked, he
couldn't help but think has this screen always been here? And if not
didn't anyone notice the hundreds of men
it must have taken to put it there? I mean they must have closed this
road for weeks. Here he was, on the
*cough* happiest day of his life, and
suddenly this mysterious figure appeared. Though nothing seemed to
have happened so far,
Heero had not spent his years fighting in vain; well, actually yes he
had but, shut up! stop discouraging him.
Relena-tron 5000 followed Heero, squeezing through the still growing
mob. She could
barely keep up with Heero, who was heading his way towards the front of
the crowd. As she
neared the front, she could already see Duo and Hilde, Zechs and Noin,
Trowa, Wufei, Quatre and
Dorothy, and Lady Une with Mariemaia. They had some how magically beat
the limo there even through the mob
of wedding press and well-wishers.
On the screen was a figure in shadow. It was impossible to identify the
speaker, let alone determine whether it was male or female, even though
everyone hoped that no female had
such a masculine build. Then suddenly, they realized that it indeed WAS
a woman, or at least she said she
was. The figure in shadow was... Chyna! The 9th wonder of the world!.
She appeared to be regarding the
Gundam pilots with a coolly appraising look. As Relena-tron 5000 went
to join Heero, it shifted its
stare towards her, probably because she was so hideously ugly.
"Greetings, Mrs. Relena-tron 5000 Peacecraft Darlian Yuy," the figure
said, gasping for breath by the time he
managed to say her entire name. but the voice
was so icy and devoid of human emotion that Relena-tron 5000 was taken
a back pack.
"Greeti-" she started to respond, but a swift look from Heero convinced
her
otherwise Most likely because red lazers shot from his eyes punching
holes through her back and voice box.
"I am the pilot of the mobile suit known as Tinky Winky, and I am
addressing you on
behalf of an elite organization. This organization is small, nameless,
in fact it is completely non-exsistant... I
mean.. FEAR ME!!! For these past years, they have been watching this
planet and the
space colonies closely, and-
"What is your point?" Zechs demanded in a harsh voice.
The figure curled her lips upward in a mockery of a smile. "Mr. Zechs
Merquise, yes, you have always disliked elaborate speech. Forgive me,"
the figure said
sarcastically, "for offending you. Let me try saying this is much
simpler terms that you can understand. Let's
see... how should I say... 'Yo Momma!' But per your request, I will cut
to the chase, so to speak. Mrs. Yuy, they are
declaring war."
"War?! But why? There has been continuous peace for the last few
years."
"Exactly. I won't try to hide it; we have very very short attention
spans, so we are getting rather bored of peace.
C'mon! Let's see something blow up! so therefore, with the colonies and
Earth completely defenseless, We will
achieve nothing by defeating them, but they will be easy targets and
lots of fun to blow up. One bold stroke, and
you will all be at
their mercy."
"You speak as if you are not a part of this 'elite organization,'"
Heero spoke
up cooly as he pulled on a pair of MIB-style shades and did a thumbs-up
to the camera.
"What about you? What do you plan on getting out of this?"
"Nothing...absolutely nothing. I am simply very very stupid. And there
is also a man behind with a gun to my
head." There are muffled whispers. "I mean," the figure began again
not very convincingly, "I am just really
really devoted to this stupid cause."
"Then why fight?!" Relena-tron 5000 cried in frustration. "Surely you
are skilled enough
to break away from these tyrants!"
"Uhhh... that is my concern, and none of yours, Mrs. Yuy." The figure
then muttered quietly to himself, saying
something about "damn dirty apes."
"So now what?" Wufei spoke up. "You've declared war; we are
defenseless; what
now? INJUSTICE!!!!"
Even though he had not spoke calmly, inside, Wufei was seething. "How
could I have been
so stupid?! As a Preventer, I should have been able to detect this a
long time ago! How long
have they been planning this takeover? INJUSTICE TIMES INFINITY!!!' He
just realized he had been speaking out
loud and blushed,.
"My superiors are in favor of striking now, as we speak. But I...have
convinced them otherwise."
"Why? To humiliate us?"
"You are truly a member of the Chang clan; the emphasis you place on
your pride
is obvious. Be careful; it will be your downfall. But yes, that is my
general idea. You look so silly when you are all
mad."
"INJUSTICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Touche, Wufei, I admit your point."
"And you STILL haven't answered my question!"
"I just did, Chang Wufei. Gosh, you really ARE stupid. I have my
reasons, which are not your concern. But I will
tell you this: I have bought you three years, cost me one pretty penny
too."
The camera pans over to show a shelf with several very shiny pennies on
it, "Get it? PRETTY PENNY??
hahahahahaha On this day, AC 203, we will attack.
You have until now to then to prepare yourselves. Arm yourselves
however you wish."
Quatre spoke up, "Really? Any way we want? Spoons? Leaf blowers?
ANYTHING?"
A brief silence, and the figure smiled again. "Tinky Winky and I will
be waiting
for you. But our fight is not with the civilians. It is YOU we wish to
fight."
"Well damn, there go my plans of forcing the civilians into battle...
Why do you want to fight the stupid
gundam pilots anyhow?" Hilde
demanded.
"Because then this story would have no plot, duh!," the figure stated
flatly. "In fact, I have doubts about the abilities of you pilots as
well, but that
doesn't matter. You will represent the people of Earth and the
colonies. Defeat myself and Tinky Winky
along with the very few other members of our little group, and you have
saved your future.
Lose..." and the figure let the sentence hang. "Also, by fighting you
alone, the number of
casualties will be minimized, though others are welcome to commit
suicide by attempting to
challenge me. Well, actually, if you all attacked me at once, I'm sure
you could beat me and not have
ANYBODY die, but hey, where's the fun in that???" the speaker added
sardonically.
"Since when were we concerned about civilian casualties?!" Dorothy
snapped.
Shrugging off Quatre's arm which then fell to the floor, she continued,
" I mean I just ran over six small children
trying to get here. Your dictatorship that you are threatening to
establish will result in the loss of lives as it is; no one
will be willing to accept your
tyrannical rule, and we will all fight and die rather than accept it!"
The crowd cheered when Dorothy fell face down in reverence. Actually,
somebody just shoved her down since
her eyebrows are so freakishly ugly.
But the figure was not at all intimidated. "Miss Dorothy, let us worry
about that later. Focus yourself on plucking
your damn eyebrows. My advice to you is to establish a base in space;
the
little 'summer home' you and Quatre have used for many a, ah,
interesting, evening, will suffice." Without waiting for
Quatre or Dorothy to say anything, the figure continued. "Yes, I DO
know what you have been doing in there..
and it's all recorded on my handy dandy spy cameras. I never really
knew that it was your house, but I just
wanted to spy on somebody, and who'da thunk it, it was you! Don't think
I haven't made quite the profit from
your little.. 'movies'."
Dorothy could feel her cheeks turn red, she had landed on a ketchup
packet when she fell over, and Quatre
groaned because he just discovered that Dorothy had shot him with a
poison arrow and he would soon be
asleep for several days.
But the speaker seemed oblivious, simply continuing with, "And one more
thing: if you plan on rebuilding your
gundams the exact way as they were four years ago, forget it. You will
be crushed, and I hate wasting
time. Even though I'm going to go float around in space doing
absolutely nothing for 3 years. I look forward to
meeting you in battle in three years."
"Wait!" someone in the crowd (named RELENA-TRON 5000 PEACECRAFT DARLIAN
YUY). "How do we know
you're not bluffing, huh? This
could be some joke for all we know!"
"Quiet!" Heero hissed, whirling around, but it was too late; the damage
was
done.
"So you need proof, is that it?" the figure said coldly. "Well, then,
here is
your proof. I hope you enjoy the fireworks." Turning around, the
figure barked,
"Detonate satellite MO4 now!"
"NO!" shouted Relena-tron 5000. "There are civili-"
Her words were cut off as a bright flash lit the area. Fearfully, the
entire
crowd turned towards its source: a ball of explosive light as bright as
a supernova
was in the sky. The crowed watched in amazement and cries of, "ooh,"
and "Ahhh," were heard.
"There's your proof. Goodbye," the figure said dully, and disappeared.
"Oh no! Sally Po was on that satellite!" shouted a random member of the
crowd.
"JUSTICE HAS FINALLY COME!!!!!" Wufei cheered while jumping up and clicking
his heels.