Aimee
Dinner was extremely tense; both of the twins didn't speak much at all, while Lily and Remus completely avoided each other's gaze. Glory had no idea what was going on – she chatted merrily, as if all was right with the world.
Everyone ate so hurriedly Lily was willing to bet at least two of them would get sick before midnight. In less than 45 minutes, the group was done and watching Lily and Severus expectantly.
I think this is your cue, love.
Me? Why me?
Because… I don't know.
Come with me, please Sev?
If you insist.
Lily and Severus stood up as one, then made their way up to the Master Bedroom, where both of the letters were stored. Taking it with shaking hands, Lily opened it carefully and closed her eyes tightly.
"Are you sure you want to do this, Sev?" she asked quietly, opening her eyes and looking up at her husband.
He looked back down at her and slowly took the letter from her, folding it shut once more and placing it on the table beside the bed. "The question is, love, do you want to?"
Lily sighed and buried her head in his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. They stood there for what seemed like hours, until Severus could hear her crying softly.
"It's going to be all right…" he whispered. "Do you want to do this?"
"I'm so, so afraid of hurting you…" Lily sobbed, "And I know if they turned out to be Remus', you'll be crushed, and I love you so, so much, I couldn't stand to see that happen…"
Severus started rubbing her back gently, closing his eyes and sighing. "I understand it's out of your control, Lily. It's already happened… no amount of wishing and praying is going to change it. I want to know, but I also understand it could be a great danger to the family if I'm not."
"What are we going to do if it is him?" Lily asked quietly.
"Live it out." Severus answered, "The twins – we raised them. If he is the father, Remus deserves a chance at getting to really know them. They say blood's thicker than water, but I don't believe that to be true at the moment."
"God, I wish…" she started, then failed to speak.
"I know you still love him, Lily." Said Severus softly, "We both know that."
"You'll always be first." Lily sighed, kissing his neck. "No matter what happens… I'll love you with all of my heart. Remus may own part of it, but you have it all. You're my husband… no one could ever replace you."
"But you still want to have some sort of a relationship with Remus." Severus said softly. It wasn't a question. "If you knew I'd be perfectly fine and not hurt in the slightest, you'd bed him."
Lily closed her eyes and breathed in her husband's scent. "Yes, I would. But I know it'd hurt you, and I'd never do anything intentionally to hurt you."
"If it made you happy, even for a moment, I'd want you to." Severus said, his voice barely audible.
"It would." Lily whispered, clutching Severus' warm body. "If only there was a way to be with you both… I'd be the happiest person alive."
"If you were the happiest person alive, I would be the second." Severus kissed her forehead gently, closing his eyes once more as he held her. "Do you want to know?"
Lily sighed, then nodded. Before Severus could reach for the letter once more, she kissed him hard and seized his wrist in her own small hand.
"Us, him. I want to."
Severus looked only slightly surprised for a moment, then slowly nodded. He had thought about it before; knowing it would make his wife happy, he was willing.
"Shall I read it?" he asked, black eyes meeting green. Lily nodded once more, knuckles white.
Severus slowly opened the piece of parchment, blinking before he started to read the fifteen year old handwriting. The tension was so think, Lily was sure she could cut it with a knife if she wanted to. She closed her eyes as Severus' voice washed over her, and showed no expression when her grandfather finally revealed the name of the twins' father.
He finished the letter, his face almost expressionless. The single glimmer of – something, perhaps love, was shining through his eyes as he spoke.
"Are you sure, love?"
"I need to." Lily said quietly, not meeting his eye. "Please?"
"Ok." Severus nodded, wrapping his arms around her shoulders once more. "Would you like to go down and tell them now?"
Lily nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Yes."
"Come on, love." Severus led her out of the room, down the hall and staircase, finally into the sitting room where everyone was once again sitting, the tension in the room mounting as Pollux and Castor eyed Remus warily.
It had begun.
Walk away if you want to
It's ok, if you need to
You can run, but you can never hide
From the shadow that's creeping up beside you
There's a magic running through your soul
But you can't have it all
(Whatever you do)
I'll be two steps behind you
(Wherever you go)
And I'll be there to remind you
That it only takes a minute of your precious time
To turn around and I'll be two steps behind.
Take the time
To think about it
Walk the line, you know you just can't fight it
Take a look around and see what you can find
Like the fire that's burning up inside me,
There's a magic running through your soul
But you can't have it all
(Whatever you do)
I'll be two steps behind you
(Wherever you go)
And I'll be there to remind you
That it only takes a minute of your precious time
To turn around and I'll be two steps behind.
There's a magic running through your soul
But you, you can't have it all
(Whatever you do)
I'll be two steps behind you
(Wherever you go)
And I'll be there to remind you
That it only takes a minute of your precious time
To turn around and I'll be two steps behind.
Two steps behind ...*
*Def Leppard, Two Steps Behind