"What the hell is that?" Rimmer yelled, pointing to what appeared to be a fully decorated Christmas tree walking toward them.
"Looks like a Christmas tree to me," Lister replied, seeming to be unconcerned about the animated evergreen.
"Pardon me, but I don't ever recall the family Christmas tree taking a stroll around the house," Rimmer snidely responded.
"Is it dangerous?" the Cat added.
"Deadly," the Christmas tree menacingly answered, coming closer.
"This doesn't look good," Rimmer said.
"Relax, will you? What's it gonna do, throw presents at us?" Lister responded, with a grin.
"That's it, rile it up," Rimmer retorted, growing worried (more so than usual).
"Mr. Tree, or whatever you prefer to be called by, we're not here to cause you any harm," Kryten announced, trying to clear any misunderstanding there may be between them.
"But I am!" the tree sneered, yanking off one of its ornaments.
"Oh no! It's even worse than I thought--ornaments!" Lister teased.
"Sir, those aren't ordinary ornaments," Kryten warned. "They contain an explosive concentration at least as powerful as a hand grenade. I suggest we get out of here immediately."
"Uh, that might prove to be a bit of a problem," Rimmer noted, pointing to a rather mean looking snowman lumbering in through the only exit.
"All we need is a deranged Santa Claus, and we'll be all set," Holly added.
Moment's latter, a trap door dropped open from the ceiling, and a rope fell to the floor. A pudgy man in a red suit slid down the rope. It was Santa all right, but he was about as cuddly as Charles Manson.
"You were saying . . ." Lister quipped.
Meanwhile Rimmer, near hysteria, bolted past Santa and started climbing up the rope, just as the tree chucked its ornament grenade. Rimmer quickly reached the top, but lost his balance when he reached up to grab at the floor above. He went tumbling to the ground, landing on the grenade just as it exploded; luckily Rimmer's hard light drive was able to absorb the shock.
The trio of Santa, the snowman and the Christmas trees seemed baffled that Rimmer was somehow able to survive the explosion. They went over into a corner to confer about what to do next. A massive metal door slid across the main exit, while the trapdoor closed again, preventing any further possible escape attempts.
"My plan worked!" Rimmer announced, displaying a typically pathetic excuse for his cowardice.
"I thought so," the Cat agreed. "Except for you surviving the blast," he cracked.
"It looks like we've been given a temporary reprieve, since Mr. Rimmer was able to withstand the grenade explosion," Kryten noted. "I suggest we use the time wisely to devise a plan."
"If this is a game, then there must be a solution," Lister suggested.
"Unless of course the solution was not coming in here in the first place," Rimmer replied, always assuming the worse possible scenario.
"As I recall, it was you, who suggested we come in here," Holly pointed out to Rimmer, who immediately became red-faced.
"We don't have time for this," Kryten interjected, bring a grateful "Thank you," from Rimmer. "We can blame him later," he continued, adding insult to the hologram.
"All three of these guys seem to have a wintry theme to them," Lister pointed out. "Is that some clue to defeating them?"
The trio immediately took notice of Lister's comment, and broke off their conference to attack again. This time the tree ripped off it's top part, and wielded it like a big club, while the snowman took chunks of snow out of itself, and began throwing snowballs. And with a red bag now in his possession, Santa began pulling out large toys and throwing them.
"Your presents . . ." Rimmer quipped to Lister.
"Don't let those snowballs hit you! They contain some sort of flesh eating acid!" Kryten warned, examining one of the yellow-tinged balls of snow.
"This isn't fair!" Cat complained. "If we had bazookoids, we'd kick their asses!"
"You are correct, it is not a fair fight," the disembodied game voice agreed.
A bazookoid, like the ones from Starbug, materialized in the Cat's hands. "The holidays are over," he boasted, chambering a round and blasting away.
The first volley struck the snowman, which was vaporized. But when Cat hit the other two, they just regenerated blown off parts, and became even more aggressive.
"Watch out!" Lister yelled. "Santa just pulled a machine gun from his bag!"
"This is hopeless," Rimmer whined, cowering behind Kryten for cover.
As the commotion ensued, Holly calmly began singing Christmas carols. The songs enraged Santa, and the tree responded by yanking off another ornament. Noticing the effect Holly's singing was having, the others joined in.
Santa dropped to his knees, screaming in agony, while the tree burst into flames. A few minutes later, they both disappeared in puffs of smoke.
"How did you know?" Lister asked Holly.
"Blasting them to bits wasn't working, so I thought maybe the solution was related to Christmas," Holly explained. "I just thought I'd try singing."
"What about the snowman?" Cat wondered. "I blasted him into next year."
"It was a two-parter?" Holly answered, shrugging her shoulders.
"You are awarded two points, and . . ." the voice said, as a hand held computer materialized in Kryten's hand. "Now you can keep track of your progress, as well as look up information regarding the places and things you encounter."
"Just how many points do we need to win?" Rimmer asked.
"One million."
"One million!" Rimmer shot back. "How are we supposed to do that, when we get only two points?"
"You were given minimum points, because you also received a valuable prize," the voice responded, referring to the computer they'd just received.
"Valuable prize?" Cat disagreed. "A new pair of shoes would have been better. Mine are already starting to get scuffed up."
"Perhaps next time," the voice chuckled, fading out.
The door blocking the main exit then swung open.
"Looks like a Christmas tree to me," Lister replied, seeming to be unconcerned about the animated evergreen.
"Pardon me, but I don't ever recall the family Christmas tree taking a stroll around the house," Rimmer snidely responded.
"Is it dangerous?" the Cat added.
"Deadly," the Christmas tree menacingly answered, coming closer.
"This doesn't look good," Rimmer said.
"Relax, will you? What's it gonna do, throw presents at us?" Lister responded, with a grin.
"That's it, rile it up," Rimmer retorted, growing worried (more so than usual).
"Mr. Tree, or whatever you prefer to be called by, we're not here to cause you any harm," Kryten announced, trying to clear any misunderstanding there may be between them.
"But I am!" the tree sneered, yanking off one of its ornaments.
"Oh no! It's even worse than I thought--ornaments!" Lister teased.
"Sir, those aren't ordinary ornaments," Kryten warned. "They contain an explosive concentration at least as powerful as a hand grenade. I suggest we get out of here immediately."
"Uh, that might prove to be a bit of a problem," Rimmer noted, pointing to a rather mean looking snowman lumbering in through the only exit.
"All we need is a deranged Santa Claus, and we'll be all set," Holly added.
Moment's latter, a trap door dropped open from the ceiling, and a rope fell to the floor. A pudgy man in a red suit slid down the rope. It was Santa all right, but he was about as cuddly as Charles Manson.
"You were saying . . ." Lister quipped.
Meanwhile Rimmer, near hysteria, bolted past Santa and started climbing up the rope, just as the tree chucked its ornament grenade. Rimmer quickly reached the top, but lost his balance when he reached up to grab at the floor above. He went tumbling to the ground, landing on the grenade just as it exploded; luckily Rimmer's hard light drive was able to absorb the shock.
The trio of Santa, the snowman and the Christmas trees seemed baffled that Rimmer was somehow able to survive the explosion. They went over into a corner to confer about what to do next. A massive metal door slid across the main exit, while the trapdoor closed again, preventing any further possible escape attempts.
"My plan worked!" Rimmer announced, displaying a typically pathetic excuse for his cowardice.
"I thought so," the Cat agreed. "Except for you surviving the blast," he cracked.
"It looks like we've been given a temporary reprieve, since Mr. Rimmer was able to withstand the grenade explosion," Kryten noted. "I suggest we use the time wisely to devise a plan."
"If this is a game, then there must be a solution," Lister suggested.
"Unless of course the solution was not coming in here in the first place," Rimmer replied, always assuming the worse possible scenario.
"As I recall, it was you, who suggested we come in here," Holly pointed out to Rimmer, who immediately became red-faced.
"We don't have time for this," Kryten interjected, bring a grateful "Thank you," from Rimmer. "We can blame him later," he continued, adding insult to the hologram.
"All three of these guys seem to have a wintry theme to them," Lister pointed out. "Is that some clue to defeating them?"
The trio immediately took notice of Lister's comment, and broke off their conference to attack again. This time the tree ripped off it's top part, and wielded it like a big club, while the snowman took chunks of snow out of itself, and began throwing snowballs. And with a red bag now in his possession, Santa began pulling out large toys and throwing them.
"Your presents . . ." Rimmer quipped to Lister.
"Don't let those snowballs hit you! They contain some sort of flesh eating acid!" Kryten warned, examining one of the yellow-tinged balls of snow.
"This isn't fair!" Cat complained. "If we had bazookoids, we'd kick their asses!"
"You are correct, it is not a fair fight," the disembodied game voice agreed.
A bazookoid, like the ones from Starbug, materialized in the Cat's hands. "The holidays are over," he boasted, chambering a round and blasting away.
The first volley struck the snowman, which was vaporized. But when Cat hit the other two, they just regenerated blown off parts, and became even more aggressive.
"Watch out!" Lister yelled. "Santa just pulled a machine gun from his bag!"
"This is hopeless," Rimmer whined, cowering behind Kryten for cover.
As the commotion ensued, Holly calmly began singing Christmas carols. The songs enraged Santa, and the tree responded by yanking off another ornament. Noticing the effect Holly's singing was having, the others joined in.
Santa dropped to his knees, screaming in agony, while the tree burst into flames. A few minutes later, they both disappeared in puffs of smoke.
"How did you know?" Lister asked Holly.
"Blasting them to bits wasn't working, so I thought maybe the solution was related to Christmas," Holly explained. "I just thought I'd try singing."
"What about the snowman?" Cat wondered. "I blasted him into next year."
"It was a two-parter?" Holly answered, shrugging her shoulders.
"You are awarded two points, and . . ." the voice said, as a hand held computer materialized in Kryten's hand. "Now you can keep track of your progress, as well as look up information regarding the places and things you encounter."
"Just how many points do we need to win?" Rimmer asked.
"One million."
"One million!" Rimmer shot back. "How are we supposed to do that, when we get only two points?"
"You were given minimum points, because you also received a valuable prize," the voice responded, referring to the computer they'd just received.
"Valuable prize?" Cat disagreed. "A new pair of shoes would have been better. Mine are already starting to get scuffed up."
"Perhaps next time," the voice chuckled, fading out.
The door blocking the main exit then swung open.