"Anyone else hungry?" Lister asked.
"Yeah," Cat replied.
"Holly?" Lister inquired.
"Strange, I don't seem affected by things such as hunger or fatigue," Holly responded.
"Confirmed," Kryten added. "According to the computer, although Holly appears human, she has a perpetual energy source eliminating the need for food or sleep. In fact, only total annihilation can kill her, since her body is capable of regeneration."
"I guess it's just you and me, Cat," Lister said.
Kryten checked the computer to see if there were any places nearby that might provide food. There was a garden ahead, and a pub back in the direction they had just come.
"I say we backtrack to the pub," Lister suggested.
"For all we know the pub could be filled with a bunch of deranged psychopaths, who'll slaughter us the moment we step in the door," Rimmer responded.
"The computer is vague on the pub," Kryten added.
"What does it say?" Lister inquired.
"A pub," Kryten answered.
"And the garden?" Lister asked.
"A large two-hundred acre garden, filled with plant and tree species, along with various animals. A once in a lifetime experience," Kryten replied.
"Any fish?" Cat asked.
"Unknown," Kryten answered.
"Fine. But if all they have are some weird plants to eat, we're going back to find that pub," Lister announced, heading off toward the direction of the garden.
For a good twenty minutes, they followed a series of twisting and turning passageways before entering an enormous room filled with plants and animals.
"I'd hardly call this a once in a lifetime opportunity," Rimmer remarked, "not finding anything of particular interest."
"Perhaps there is another meaning," Holly added.
"In any event, I suggest we use caution," Kryten said.
They made their way further into the garden, which was more like a forest. Certainly there was something else to be found here. One possibility turned out to be a tiny fairy that flew out onto the path, in front of them.
"Welcome to my beautiful garden," she greeted them, before assuming human-size form; a strange light surrounded her as well.
"Where's the fish?" the cat asked.
The fairy did not answer at first. The aura surrounding her intensified, and all except Kryten, were taken by her glamour spell, including Holly. "There are many things for you here to enjoy," she finally replied.
Kryten could only follow, unable to gain the others' attention. They were like rats following the Pied Piper: hopelessly hypnotized.
"Where are you taking us?" Kryten asked the fairy.
"To my home, in the field," was her response.
They continued on through the garden. Familiar, and unusual animals scurried about, amongst the common and exotic, plants and trees. At one point, the fairy stopped, and began singing a song. Lister and Rimmer just stood there listening to her enchanting voice, while the cat and Holly tried to attract the animals; the cat for a snack, and Holly out of curiosity.
"Sir, don't you see what's going on?" Kryten attempted to point out to Lister.
"Isn't it just incredible?" was all the response Lister gave, with a far-away look in his eyes.
"I've never seen so many animals, outside of computer images, before," Holly remarked, equally lost under the glamour spell.
"Me neither," the cat added, with a sinister grin.
"Mr. Cat, why don't you wait till we get to my home? I'm sure I can find something even more to your liking," the fairy said, briefly interrupting her song.
"It's all so beautiful," Rimmer said. There wasn't a hint of the bitterness he usually wore like a badge.
Kryten punched up all information on fairies in the computer. The only significant information mentioned was that to break a glamour spell, one needed to discover the spell's purpose. He then attempted to cross reference information on fairies and things found in the garden. It said fairies were caretakers of plants and trees.
"Why don't you put your toy away, and just enjoy yourself, my mechanoid friend?" the fairy remarked to Kryten. She then led the others down the path again, continuing her song.
After a while, they came to a small field, which more resembled someone's living room, only with furniture made out of foliage and stones. There was a table fashioned out of a huge flat-topped rock, with tree stumps for chairs, encircling it. An artesian well provided cool, running water, while hot water was supplied by a hot spring.
"Welcome to my home," the fairy said. "Why don't you get some rest, while I cook up something to eat," she added, pointing to some patches of tall, thick grass.
"What's wrong with these trees?" Rimmer asked, noticing some of the leaves were turning brown.
"They're dying. But don't worry, I'm going to make up a batch of my special fertilizer to save them," the fairy replied.
"Special fertilizer?" Kryten responded.
With that, the fairy moved her hand through the air in a motion that started with Lister, and ended with the steaming hot spring. Lister immediately started walking toward the water.
"You see, I only need one of them for my fertilizer. If you don't stop interfering, all of them will perish," the fairy remarked in a charming, but menacing tone.
"How can I save them then?" Kryten asked.
"You can not break the spell. Only if one of them can realize what is happening on their own, can it be broken," she responded.
"But that very spell is preventing them from realizing what is going on!" Kryten retorted.
"You underestimate your friends," the fairy replied, pointing to Lister, who was now walking slowly around the perimeter of the spring. "Besides, if you don't let them do this on their own, then he won't be the only one going for a swim. Even you will not be able to escape me. I could command every animal in the garden to descend upon you and pick you apart," she added in a stern voice.
The others seemed unaware of Kryten's argument with the fairy, as they made beds in the patches of grass. Kryten, unable to convince the fairy to release them, walked away and began frantically searching through the computer for additional information.
"Go and join the others for a nap," the fairy commanded Lister, who immediately went.
"I could use some sleep," Lister replied as he fashioned a pillow out of his jacket.
The fairy then went out to gather some food, stopping only briefly to warn Kryten that she'd still be able to watch him, even though she was gone. There was no reason to doubt her claim.
About half an hour later, the fairy built a fire, and began cooking some meat she had collected. She then went back out to get some fruits, berries, and vegetables. All the while, she kept purposely letting Kryten know she was still watching him.
"Isn't there some way you could use me instead?" Kryten asked, knowing it wasn't likely.
"I admire your efforts, but I really must insist you refrain from any more attempts to hinder me. If you can not bear to watch, why don't you just shut yourself off," the fairy responded.
Knowing he was pushing her, Kryten again returned to the computer. So far nothing of any use could be found. It became clear he would have to just do what she said, and let the others figure it out for themselves; otherwise, they may all perish.
"Dinner is served," the fairy announced.
As the others arose from their naps, the fairy set the table. Her spell was still obviously just as powerful as before, much to Kryten's dismay.
"Hey Kryten, aren't you going to join us?" Lister asked.
"I'd rather not, sir. I think I'll just stand over here and count the leaves on all the trees," Kryten replied, bringing a glance of warning from the fairy, due to his sarcastic response.
"Suit yourself," was Lister's reply.
"I wish I could do that," Rimmer sincerely added.
"So tell me about this special fertilizer you're going to make to save those trees," Holly said.
"That's a secret fairy formula," was the reply.
"Is there anything we can do to help?" Rimmer added.
"Maybe," the fairy replied, forcing back a smile.
"I wish we could stay here forever," Lister remarked, stabbing a chunk of meat off his plate.
"You can stay for as long as you like," the fairy replied.
"I thought this was supposed to be a once in a lifetime experience. How could it be possible for us to stay here indefinitely?" Holly asked with interest, but still not aware of the fairy's intent.
Kryten suddenly realized that the "once in a lifetime" bit was the key to solving their predicament. He started squirming, like a little kid who forgot to use the bathroom before leaving on a long trip. He so desperately wanted to shout out his thoughts to the others, but knew it would only condemn them.
"Anything's possible here," was the fairy's reply.
"Once in a life time, huh? You mean like that little bird I was chasing earlier. It would have been a once in a lifetime opportunity to see the likes of such coolness, just before I had him for lunch," the cat quipped.
Suddenly the trance was broken, as everyone realized the significance of the cat's words, although it took the cat himself a bit longer than the rest.
"We were going to be used for the fertilizer!" Lister shouted.
"'Were', might be a bit premature," was the fairy's response.
"Do the words Hansel and Gretel mean anything to anyone," Rimmer added.
"I suggest we all make a run for the garden exit immediately," Kryten said, confident his intervention was no longer restricted.
"Isn't there something we can do to repay the favor?" Holly said with a malicious tone, as she glared at the fairy.
Everyone seemed to pause, mulling over the situation. Kryten broke the silence, with his further insistence that they get the hell out of there.
"I'd listen to him if I were you. There's no reason why I still can't have my way, simply because you've broken my spell," the fairy said.
With that, they took off running. But Holly had a bit of a problem with her long dress, so Kryten carried her until they exited the garden, and returned to the passageway.
"That was close. Another minute and we would've been worm food!" Cat declared.
"That was absolutely embarrassing," Holly added.
"Do you mean realizing you're not completely immune to human failings, or having to be carried out by Kryten?" Rimmer gleefully replied, to which Holly gave him a glaring look.
"How many points was that one good for?" Lister asked Kryten.
"Five hundred fifty points," Kryten answered.
"That's all?" Rimmer replied, astonished that their near peril was not worth as much as he thought.
"At the current rate, we'll need about two thousand encounters to reach a million. I'm afraid to calculate the odds of success, based on our narrow escape," Kryten noted.
"We're just going to have to find some harder problems to solve," Lister added, which brought looks questioning his sanity, from the others.
"Yeah," Cat replied.
"Holly?" Lister inquired.
"Strange, I don't seem affected by things such as hunger or fatigue," Holly responded.
"Confirmed," Kryten added. "According to the computer, although Holly appears human, she has a perpetual energy source eliminating the need for food or sleep. In fact, only total annihilation can kill her, since her body is capable of regeneration."
"I guess it's just you and me, Cat," Lister said.
Kryten checked the computer to see if there were any places nearby that might provide food. There was a garden ahead, and a pub back in the direction they had just come.
"I say we backtrack to the pub," Lister suggested.
"For all we know the pub could be filled with a bunch of deranged psychopaths, who'll slaughter us the moment we step in the door," Rimmer responded.
"The computer is vague on the pub," Kryten added.
"What does it say?" Lister inquired.
"A pub," Kryten answered.
"And the garden?" Lister asked.
"A large two-hundred acre garden, filled with plant and tree species, along with various animals. A once in a lifetime experience," Kryten replied.
"Any fish?" Cat asked.
"Unknown," Kryten answered.
"Fine. But if all they have are some weird plants to eat, we're going back to find that pub," Lister announced, heading off toward the direction of the garden.
For a good twenty minutes, they followed a series of twisting and turning passageways before entering an enormous room filled with plants and animals.
"I'd hardly call this a once in a lifetime opportunity," Rimmer remarked, "not finding anything of particular interest."
"Perhaps there is another meaning," Holly added.
"In any event, I suggest we use caution," Kryten said.
They made their way further into the garden, which was more like a forest. Certainly there was something else to be found here. One possibility turned out to be a tiny fairy that flew out onto the path, in front of them.
"Welcome to my beautiful garden," she greeted them, before assuming human-size form; a strange light surrounded her as well.
"Where's the fish?" the cat asked.
The fairy did not answer at first. The aura surrounding her intensified, and all except Kryten, were taken by her glamour spell, including Holly. "There are many things for you here to enjoy," she finally replied.
Kryten could only follow, unable to gain the others' attention. They were like rats following the Pied Piper: hopelessly hypnotized.
"Where are you taking us?" Kryten asked the fairy.
"To my home, in the field," was her response.
They continued on through the garden. Familiar, and unusual animals scurried about, amongst the common and exotic, plants and trees. At one point, the fairy stopped, and began singing a song. Lister and Rimmer just stood there listening to her enchanting voice, while the cat and Holly tried to attract the animals; the cat for a snack, and Holly out of curiosity.
"Sir, don't you see what's going on?" Kryten attempted to point out to Lister.
"Isn't it just incredible?" was all the response Lister gave, with a far-away look in his eyes.
"I've never seen so many animals, outside of computer images, before," Holly remarked, equally lost under the glamour spell.
"Me neither," the cat added, with a sinister grin.
"Mr. Cat, why don't you wait till we get to my home? I'm sure I can find something even more to your liking," the fairy said, briefly interrupting her song.
"It's all so beautiful," Rimmer said. There wasn't a hint of the bitterness he usually wore like a badge.
Kryten punched up all information on fairies in the computer. The only significant information mentioned was that to break a glamour spell, one needed to discover the spell's purpose. He then attempted to cross reference information on fairies and things found in the garden. It said fairies were caretakers of plants and trees.
"Why don't you put your toy away, and just enjoy yourself, my mechanoid friend?" the fairy remarked to Kryten. She then led the others down the path again, continuing her song.
After a while, they came to a small field, which more resembled someone's living room, only with furniture made out of foliage and stones. There was a table fashioned out of a huge flat-topped rock, with tree stumps for chairs, encircling it. An artesian well provided cool, running water, while hot water was supplied by a hot spring.
"Welcome to my home," the fairy said. "Why don't you get some rest, while I cook up something to eat," she added, pointing to some patches of tall, thick grass.
"What's wrong with these trees?" Rimmer asked, noticing some of the leaves were turning brown.
"They're dying. But don't worry, I'm going to make up a batch of my special fertilizer to save them," the fairy replied.
"Special fertilizer?" Kryten responded.
With that, the fairy moved her hand through the air in a motion that started with Lister, and ended with the steaming hot spring. Lister immediately started walking toward the water.
"You see, I only need one of them for my fertilizer. If you don't stop interfering, all of them will perish," the fairy remarked in a charming, but menacing tone.
"How can I save them then?" Kryten asked.
"You can not break the spell. Only if one of them can realize what is happening on their own, can it be broken," she responded.
"But that very spell is preventing them from realizing what is going on!" Kryten retorted.
"You underestimate your friends," the fairy replied, pointing to Lister, who was now walking slowly around the perimeter of the spring. "Besides, if you don't let them do this on their own, then he won't be the only one going for a swim. Even you will not be able to escape me. I could command every animal in the garden to descend upon you and pick you apart," she added in a stern voice.
The others seemed unaware of Kryten's argument with the fairy, as they made beds in the patches of grass. Kryten, unable to convince the fairy to release them, walked away and began frantically searching through the computer for additional information.
"Go and join the others for a nap," the fairy commanded Lister, who immediately went.
"I could use some sleep," Lister replied as he fashioned a pillow out of his jacket.
The fairy then went out to gather some food, stopping only briefly to warn Kryten that she'd still be able to watch him, even though she was gone. There was no reason to doubt her claim.
About half an hour later, the fairy built a fire, and began cooking some meat she had collected. She then went back out to get some fruits, berries, and vegetables. All the while, she kept purposely letting Kryten know she was still watching him.
"Isn't there some way you could use me instead?" Kryten asked, knowing it wasn't likely.
"I admire your efforts, but I really must insist you refrain from any more attempts to hinder me. If you can not bear to watch, why don't you just shut yourself off," the fairy responded.
Knowing he was pushing her, Kryten again returned to the computer. So far nothing of any use could be found. It became clear he would have to just do what she said, and let the others figure it out for themselves; otherwise, they may all perish.
"Dinner is served," the fairy announced.
As the others arose from their naps, the fairy set the table. Her spell was still obviously just as powerful as before, much to Kryten's dismay.
"Hey Kryten, aren't you going to join us?" Lister asked.
"I'd rather not, sir. I think I'll just stand over here and count the leaves on all the trees," Kryten replied, bringing a glance of warning from the fairy, due to his sarcastic response.
"Suit yourself," was Lister's reply.
"I wish I could do that," Rimmer sincerely added.
"So tell me about this special fertilizer you're going to make to save those trees," Holly said.
"That's a secret fairy formula," was the reply.
"Is there anything we can do to help?" Rimmer added.
"Maybe," the fairy replied, forcing back a smile.
"I wish we could stay here forever," Lister remarked, stabbing a chunk of meat off his plate.
"You can stay for as long as you like," the fairy replied.
"I thought this was supposed to be a once in a lifetime experience. How could it be possible for us to stay here indefinitely?" Holly asked with interest, but still not aware of the fairy's intent.
Kryten suddenly realized that the "once in a lifetime" bit was the key to solving their predicament. He started squirming, like a little kid who forgot to use the bathroom before leaving on a long trip. He so desperately wanted to shout out his thoughts to the others, but knew it would only condemn them.
"Anything's possible here," was the fairy's reply.
"Once in a life time, huh? You mean like that little bird I was chasing earlier. It would have been a once in a lifetime opportunity to see the likes of such coolness, just before I had him for lunch," the cat quipped.
Suddenly the trance was broken, as everyone realized the significance of the cat's words, although it took the cat himself a bit longer than the rest.
"We were going to be used for the fertilizer!" Lister shouted.
"'Were', might be a bit premature," was the fairy's response.
"Do the words Hansel and Gretel mean anything to anyone," Rimmer added.
"I suggest we all make a run for the garden exit immediately," Kryten said, confident his intervention was no longer restricted.
"Isn't there something we can do to repay the favor?" Holly said with a malicious tone, as she glared at the fairy.
Everyone seemed to pause, mulling over the situation. Kryten broke the silence, with his further insistence that they get the hell out of there.
"I'd listen to him if I were you. There's no reason why I still can't have my way, simply because you've broken my spell," the fairy said.
With that, they took off running. But Holly had a bit of a problem with her long dress, so Kryten carried her until they exited the garden, and returned to the passageway.
"That was close. Another minute and we would've been worm food!" Cat declared.
"That was absolutely embarrassing," Holly added.
"Do you mean realizing you're not completely immune to human failings, or having to be carried out by Kryten?" Rimmer gleefully replied, to which Holly gave him a glaring look.
"How many points was that one good for?" Lister asked Kryten.
"Five hundred fifty points," Kryten answered.
"That's all?" Rimmer replied, astonished that their near peril was not worth as much as he thought.
"At the current rate, we'll need about two thousand encounters to reach a million. I'm afraid to calculate the odds of success, based on our narrow escape," Kryten noted.
"We're just going to have to find some harder problems to solve," Lister added, which brought looks questioning his sanity, from the others.