The Great Hero

Chapter two: Women, Basilisks and a rock named Quatre!

Disclaimer: Once again NOT MINE. Everybody got that? I'm so glad! Have a good Monday!

A/N: You like me! You really like me! *sniff…* lol, anyways! Thanks so much for all support! This chapter starts to get a little more serious…. BLEH! I hate seriousness! Well when I write it anyways! Some of you guys out there… WOW! Man… I'm rambling aren't I?

Shoulder Mini Angel of Death: Are you ever.

Me: Blah.. anyways! I hope you all enjoy! Please review! I worked really hard to get this one out!! You'll make me cry…. Sniff.. sniff…. Lol.

OH! One more thing… I know I spelt Wufie's name wrong… I'M SORRY!! He's me fav character and I wrote the first part a few months ago when I still hated him! I'm SORRY!!!!!

~*~

Duo stood outside the small house for almost ten minutes, and was getting annoyed, 'Might as well just leave…' he thought as he turned around and prepared to do just that.

"Where are you going oh great hero?" came a serious female voice from directly behind him.

Duo jumped and whipped around, "Who are you?!" he demanded in surprise, even though he knew the answer.

The woman smirked and Duo looked her over.

Long blond hair hung in two twisted braids over her white robe clad body. Many golden chains of all different sizes and shapes that clanged together as she walked accented her dress. The many layers of the dress and pure white cape hid her feet. Her bright blue eyes seemed to laugh at him as his jaw dropped open in shock.

"You know exactly who I am, fool. Do not ask such questions, they only waste time. And that is something we no longer have in abundance." She said as she turned to walk back into her house, "Hurry and follow me, I have many things to tell you before you set off towards the sea."

Duo looked at her retreating form confused, "Why would I go to the sea?" he asked as he followed her into the house.

Sally turned to him, "You don't know?" she turned and walked to a large chair in one corner of the main room, flopping into it she sighed, "Damn that Quatre! He was supposed to explain all this!"

"So I've heard." Duo mumbled as he looked around. He was in a cozy looking house, practical, but still pleasant. Much different then Wuffie's dire cottage. This house was full of windows and paintings, granted they were paintings of dragons and other beasts ripping humans apart, but they were paintings none the less. There were doors all over the place. Duo did a double take when he saw a door in the middle of the room, there was no walls connected to it, only a frame and the door itself. Duo shook his head, where could a door like that go? If it even had a purpose that it.

Duo scanned the room one last time and determined that it was a room that couldn't hold more then ten people comfortably and there were at least two dozen doors.

Sally looked Duo over, "Who told you that?"

"Some guy with a major attitude problem. I think his name was Wufie." He said.

Sally smiled softly, "Yeah that sounds like Wufie…." Duo's words seemed to fully sink in and she looked up at him a little confused, "How do you know Wufie?"

Duo looked sheepish, "Um, I kinda took a wrong turn…"

Sally shook her head, but didn't comment. "Well, getting back to the business of your quest…" she pulled a book off of a shelf and opened it to reveal, not pages but a false cover that contained a key.

"What's that for?" Duo asked.

Sally ached an eyebrow at him then moved towards the door in the center of the room. She unlocked it and entered, it much to Duo's surprise she didn't come out the other side, and instead she vanished. Or entered a secrete room, he couldn't tell which.

Sally's voice called to him from the door, "What do you prefer? Sword of Truth, Bow made from Dragon's bones, quiver and arrows made by centaurs, scythe owned by the Grim Reaper, Mallet of justice, mace made by The Black Knight, Daggers of the Night, Winged Sandals of Hermes…" there was a loud bang and Sally said, "Oops, scratch the sandals. So what do you want?"

Duo thought about it for about two seconds before responding, "Gimme the scythe!"

Sally emerged from the door with a large scythe, she locked the door behind her and handed Duo the weapon. "Here, you'll need this, you can strap it to you back with this." She said as she gave him a leather sheath that would go over one shoulder. Duo put it on right away and marveled at the exact fit.

"Wow! This fits great!" he said as he ran his fingers over the soft detailed leather. There were patterns of dragons and trees carved into it.

Sally shook her head, "Well of course it is!" she exclaimed, "It was made for you." She shook her head, "Heroes these days know nothing of fate!" she mumbled as she put the key back and moved towards another door, "Since we really don't have time for you to get lost, I'll…Duo, stop swinging the scythe in my house or I'll use it on your hair!"

Duo dropped the scythe and his hands flew to his braid, "You wouldn't!"

Sally smirked, 'Man does she look like Wuffie when she does that... Hey! Speaking of the guy!' he thought as he pulled out the jar that Wuffie had given him. "This is for you from Wuffie with love." He said as he handed it to her.

Sally blushed slightly, as she took the jar. She examined it and stood up, "Well, now I have a call to make." She walked over to one of the doors and opened it, "If you go through there, you'll get to a kitchen, help yourself to some food." She said as closed the door behind her.

Duo was left alone in a house full of very breakable objects. Very valuable impossible to replace breakable objects. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

He moved towards the door Sally had indicated and entered, he was surprised to find a kitchen on the other side. And not a little kitchen, the kind one would expect to find in a house that holds only one woman. No, this kitchen could easily fit twenty full-grown dragons comfortably.

"Man! Now what?" he asked as he shut the door behind him.

"What do you mean, now what? Now you eat stupid!"

Duo groaned and covered his eyes against the purple light. "What do you want Lady Une?"

He heard something that sounded suspiciously like a snort come from the bag, "Hmph! You know you could be a little more polite to me, Weakling! I am stuck with you for the rest of this quest, and who knows how much longer after that!" she took in a deep breath, "So you pathetic excuse for a hero! You'd better shape up! Or this whole quest will fail!" there was another purple flash and the bag fell silent.

"Well at least she shut up…" Duo felt a shock run through his body and heard the bag laugh again.

"What was that for?!" he demanded.

Lady Une laughed some more, "You're rude! Until you're polite, I'll be rude too!"

"Isn't shocking someone considered cruel, not rude."

"Now you call me cruel as well as rude?!"

Duo was shocked again, and fell to his knees.

"Now that's exactly how a man should be." Came a female's voice form the other end of the kitchen, "On his knees."

Duo looked around and saw a girl with short blue hair and large butter fly style wings before him. She was only a few inches shorter then him, and was quite beautiful. She wore a long form fitting sleeveless silver dress with an almost indecent neckline. Duo looked closely at her face and noticed that her ears were quite long and pointed. Her features were delicate, and her midnight blue eyes intoxicating.

"Who are you?" Duo asked as he slowly climbed to his feet.

"My name's Noin!" she smiled as she said it, "I'm visiting my dear friend Sally. Who are you?"

Duo found it hard to make simple words come out of his mouth, "I uhh… I'm…"

Noin giggled; "I think that's a complement!" she laughed and walked until she was within two feet of Duo, "You hungry?"

Duo could only nod, that simple thing called articulation was escaping him at the moment.

With a flash of her wings a feast appeared before them, "Enjoy."

"Oh wow!!" hey! He could talk again! "By the way, the name's Duo, Duo Maxwell."

An astonished look crossed her petite face, "THE Duo Maxwell?!" she squeaked as she moved to touch him.

He nodded, "If ya mean that great hero guy, 'sme."

There was a puff of smoke, and Noin disappeared.

Duo looked in the direction she had been and shrugged. He was getting use to the strange way people came and went in this place. So as oppose to sitting around worrying about it he turned to the food in front of him and with a feral grin dove in.

~*~

Sally came back a few minutes latter to find her kitchen a total disaster. "What have you done to my house?!" she groaned as she leaned back against one of the cupboards.

Duo looked up innocently, "I ate."

Sally rubbed her temples, "I sure am glad Wufie gave me this." She said as she dug out the bottle. She popped it open and a super-dragon-strength cleaning spell went to work.

Within a few seconds the room was back to normal. Sally glared at Duo and grabbed his braid, "You come with me! We're going out side then YOU are being teleported to the sea to meet up with Princess Relena. She has something for you!" she said as she dragged him though her house, making sure not to use the magical door and drag him as far as possible.

"OOOW! Hey!" Dup protested, "Let me go I can walk!"

Sally pretended to not hear him and hummed happily to herself as she inflicted pain on the most idiotic man she had ever met.

Well besides Wufie but that was another matter entirely.

As they reached the garden Sally dropped Duo and raised her hands in the air. Deciding to waste no time she recited the shortest teleportation spell she knew and waved as Duo vanished and left her in peace.

~*~

Duo woke up and tried in vain to catch those annoyingly cute birds flying around his head. He would have sat there for who knows how long hade the warm and caring voice of Lady Une spoken up, "Hey moron! Wake up!"

Did I say warm and caring…?

Duo shook his head, "What do you want now?" he asked, not really sure if he wanted to know the answer.

He felt the all too familiar sensations of an electric shock flood his body, "AH!!"

Lady Une laughed, "Haha! I told you to address me as Lady Une, not 'you' not anything but Lady Une."

Duo ran his fingers through his hair and frowned, "Ok ok, I'm sorry, Lady Une. What did you want?"

"I believe you've reached your destination." She was silent for a moment before adding, "Oh, and don't think for one minute I didn't catch the sarcasm in that Mr. All Great Hero." She said before the light faded and he was once again shocked.

"Ow… I'm really starting to hate her…" he mumbled under his breath. Duo looked around and found himself on a beach the waves from the sea crashing against a rock group not far out.

One of the rocks in particular caught his attention, it didn't look right… He moved as close to the water's edge as he dared and looked again. There was someone out there!

"Hey!" Duo called waving his arms, "Hey are you okay!?"

The figure's head turned, reviling it to be a woman with long dirty blond hair. She looked at Duo before jumping off the rock.

"Hey!" Duo yelled as he ran out into the water thinking she had just tried to kill herself. He threw his cloak to the ground along with his shirt and dove in, trying to be heroic and save the girl.

He swam out to where the rock was and looked around, he didn't see her anywhere; he looked down and still couldn't see anything. The water was stronger out here, and Duo was having a hard time staying afloat. He grabbed onto the rock and pulled himself up. He didn't know what had happened to the girl, but if she had gone out much further then he was now, he knew there was no way she could have survived.

He shook his head, "Poor kid…"

"Who sir, are you talking to?" came a cute voice from the water.

Duo looked down and saw the girl swimming in front of the rock looking up at him expectantly. Her hair was decorated with what looked like, (but surly couldn't be!) seaweed and starfish. Her eyes were the same colour as the sea. "Hey! You're okay!" he exclaimed.

She looked at him a little confused, "Of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Umm… Maybe the fact that you just dove into pretty nasty water." He said wondering just how dumb this girl really was.

She just looked at him for a few seconds before a light bulb lit up, "OH! You're Duo Maxwell!" She laughed, probably at her own stupidity, Duo couldn't tell and wasn't about to ask.

"Yea, I am."

She smiled brightly, "My name is Princess Relena. And as you can see the water does not affect me at all. That is because Hero, I'm a mermaid." She said as she flipped a long blue tail out of the water, splashing Duo a little more.

"Hey!" he protested before realizing he was already soaking wet, and it wouldn't hurt. "So, umm… Sally and Quatre all said I was suppose to come see you for something." He said.

Relena nodded, "Right!" she held out her hand, "Come with me Mr. Maxwell!"

Duo looked at her hand for a second before throwing caution to the wind and taking it. Relena grinned and jerked her arm back, making Duo fall into the water headfirst. He tried to pull his arm away, realizing that she was taking him down to the seabed but she seemed stronger then he was!

Duo began to panic, he was sure the mermaid had a great home and all, but he needed air!

"Stop panicking Mr. Maxwell. As long as I'm touching you, you can breath underwater. I forgot you aren't familiar with magic." She looked at him, "That's why you couldn't pull your arm away. As long as I'm in the water I posses several magical talents. The ability to drag men down to the bottom of the sea being one of them."

Duo looked at her wide-eyed, and noticed that she wasn't wearing a top! Didn't Mermaids wear those shell thingys? Like in the movies? He shrugged and decided to try very hard not to stare!

He knew some stories about magical creatures, "Are you the kind of mermaid that'll kill me or make me your husband?" he asked nervously. Not really sure which was worse.

Relena laughed again, "Neither, I'm only going to give you something to help with your quest, then you're off to see…." She looked thoughtful for a moment and ticked off three fingers, "Me…Sally…Wakai…" she snapped her fingers, "Noin and What's his name!"

Duo looked confused, "What's his name?"

She nodded, "Yeah, I don't know what it is about him. Whenever you say his name he gets really mad and disappears in a puff of smoke. It's really annoying to visit Noin for tea not that's she's got What's his name glued to her hip." She said with distain.

Duo shrugged, 'Why not. It seemed in this place anything went…'

They reached the seabed and Relena showed him into her cave, careful not to let go of his arm.

"Now Duo, she said as she swam around her home dragging him with her, "I'm going to give you several small vials, understand?"

He nodded.

"Excellent, now in these vials are spells, each vial has a different spell ya know?" he nodded and she continued, "There are 10 vials all together, each one is clearly labeled and won't open until you tell it to."

Duo looked confused, "How do I tell it to open?"

"Duh! How do you think? Open Sesame!" she rolled her eyes at him, "Don't you read?"

Duo just shrugged and she continued, "The 10 spells vary, there's a few for healing and stuff like that. Two powerful ice spells… one full blast storm summoner, I'd be careful with that one… umm... three water spells and one teleportation spell to be used for a real emergency! You only get one!" she said meaningfully.

Duo nodded and Relena attached the vials to his belt with a magical string, "Oh before you ask, no they won't fall. It's magic." She said as she placed the last vial, "There done. Let's get going, you have to hurry to see Noin! You were late visiting me!" she sounded upset almost as though she took personal offence to his being late.

"Not my fault!" He protested, "I got lost!"

Relena rolled her eyes and dragged him back up to the surface.

As they reached air, Duo took a long breath and sighed, it felt good to be able to breath on his own again!

Relena waited as he climbed back up on the rock, "Now! Just so you don't get lost listen carefully! You have to head east until you reach a small inconspicuous cabin. Once there you have to knock three times, and whatever you do. DON'T SAY WHAT'S HIS NAME'S NAME!" She yelled trying to get as least that point across.

Duo nodded, "Ok! I gottcha!" he said with a smile.

Relena watched him walk back to the beach with a sigh, she looked to the dark figure that emerged beside her, "Ten bucks Duo says his name."

The figure nodded, "He's an idiot what do you expect?"

~*~

Duo recovered his clothing and moved on, "East, east, east… okay…"he turned in a circle, "What way's east?"

"That way!" came a voice Duo was getting sick of hearing. He looked down and sure enough there was Quatre's face in yet another rock.

"Hey Quatre I thought you could only appear in certain things. Why this rock?" he asked.

Quatre seemed to space out for a minute, "Oh sorry Duo, anyways! Head in the direction of those large trees I'm sure you'll reach Noin soon!" he said with a smile.

Duo shook his head, the plot holes in this dream or altered reality or whatever where large enough to stick all five gundams in…

A roc flew over head (a.n A roc is a REALLY HUGE bird! Probably the same size if not bigger then a gundam! They eat elephants!) and decided to relieve itself of its lunch on Duo's head.

"EEEEW!!" Duo yelled as he ran back into the water to try to clean himself off.

Quatre laughed, "He should know better then to say that kind of thing when he's being controlled by one of the fanfiction.net authors…"

Despite being a plot-holed little rock, Quatre wasn't so dumb after all…

Duo managed to clean himself and began walking in the direction Quatre had pointed out.

He hadn't gotten far when he noticed he was being followed.

"Ok! Who's there! Come out!" he yelled.

A dark figure appeared, "So you are the great hero come to save us from the terrible evil eh?"

Duo sunk into a fighting stance and pulled his scythe out of it's sheath, "What do you want?"

The figure waved a hand in the air, "Just wanted to be the first in line to try to kill you. That's all. I mean really, you didn't think you'd get through two whole chapters without meeting a bad guy did you?" the 'bad guy' laughed.

Duo frowned; he knew it was to good to be true.

The figure emerged from the shadows and Duo fought back an urge to laugh.

It was a male fairy. A very small very pink male fairy.

"You?! You are a bad guy!?" Duo fell over laughing.

The fairy growled, "Oh shut up! I told you I was the first! You really think the main bad guy's gonna be the first to met you? Nooooo they have to send out the weakest ones first." The fairy shook his head, pink hair falling in his pink eyes, "But that's my job and I'll do it!"

Duo managed to drag himself to his feet as the fairy shot several pink bolts of lightning at Duo.

He dodged them all and ran at the fairy, scythe out and ready to kill. The fairy saw his fate and quickly flew above Duo's head, "Geez! You're not very nice are you? I'm a frickin' pink fairy and what do you do? You pull out the Grim Reaper's scythe! That thing'll kill any one! Immortal or no!" the fairy shook his head, "Unhun, I'm outta here! I have a family too you know!" he flapped his pink wings, "I'll see you at the big climatic battle hero! Oh and the next bad guy should be around soon! You took to long getting to me!" with that the fairy flew away.

Duo re sheathed his scythe and frowned, 'Does everyone have to remind me I got lost… geez...'

He shook his head and kept walking. If everyone was going to bug him about being late then he'd just have to pick up the pace!

He began to run towards the east and hopefully catch up on some lost time.

~*~

Duo arrived at the small house just before dark. He decided he'd eat before going in. The impression Relena had left on him about the people that lived in the house made him want to spend as little time as possible with them.

"Hey, ummm Lady Une, could you maybe whip me up some dinner? Please?" he said trying his best to be polite because he was really really hungry.

The pouch glowed purple, "My my Duo you are learning." There was another flash of light and a full course meal appeared.

Duo looked it over carefully, it wasn't burnt, it wasn't soggy and, he picked up a coke and drank. THE COKE WASN'T FLAT! Duo felt like jumping for joy, but decided on stuffing his face instead.

Ten minutes latter he dusted himself off and faced the house, "Okay! Here we go!" he said as he walked to the gate and pushed it open.

Or tried to anyways…

"Hey! What the…?" Duo pushed harder and still the gate refused to open.

"Do you mind?!" came an irritated voice from the direction of the gate.

'Oh no…. not another one…' he thought with a groan, Duo was getting really sick of all the talking inanimate objects.

"Hello! I'm talkin' to ya! Do ya mind?!" came the gate's voice once again.

Duo looked at the gate, "Um, hey how's it going, you mind opening up so I can get in?"

"What are you talkin' about? I can't open!" there was a small growling noise and a basilisk popped up. Duo looked at the small lizard in awe.

"Hey what are you?" He asked as he leaned closer.

The basilisk jumped back, "What are ya a fool!? Don't ya know what I am?" he asked.

Duo shook his head and looked closer at the basilisk, "Hey! Funky sunglasses! Can I see them?"

"No ya darn fool! I'm Howard and a basilisk to boot! You take these glasses off me and I look at ya and ya turn into a rock!" Howard said, trying to figure out how such an idiot could possibly exist.

"Really? That would suck! Especially since I'm suppose to save the world. Or something like that."

Howard did a double take, "YOU'RE Duo Maxwell?!"

Duo nodded.

"Ah geez… we're doomed…"

"Hey!" Duo said as he kicked a fair sized rock at Howard.

Howard jumped back and his glasses fell off. Duo jumped away from him and Howard looked out into the forest trying very VERY hard not to look at Duo.

No matter how much he wanted to at the moment.

There was a loud crash from a near by tree, Howard grabbed his glasses and ran over to see what had fallen.

"Hey Duo come look at this!" he called over his shoulder.

"No way! You're going to turn me into a rock! Like Quatre!" Duo thought about that for a minute, "I don't wanna be like Quatre!!" he wined, "He's a wussy!!" Duo was about to start crying when a rock nailed him in the head.

"Will ya shut up?" Howard yelled, "I'm wearin' my glasses!"

Duo looked at him cautiously, "Okay. So what was that crash?"

Howard took one last look at the fallen figure, "Kid I think you're in trouble, that was a Yeck. They're shape shifters that are strong enough to lift mountains. I wouldn't want one of them following me around! They could do some serious damage." He moved towards the body and picked something up.

Duo blinked as his world went white, "What's this?" he asked pulling the cloth off his head.

"That's the Yeck's cap. If ya wear it you get the ability to become invisible." He said.

Duo looked at the cap a second time, "Really?"

Howard nodded, "Yeah but that's not the point. Duo someone's keepin' tabs on ya. I wouldn't be surprised if ya found more creatures lurkin' in the bushes."

Duo looked at the forest, "Maybe…" he thought about it for a minute and brightened up, "Who cares if they're following me!"

Howard rolled his eyes; he knew where this was going…

"I'm the God of Death! And a Gundam pilot! I saved the world several times! I think I can handle some creepy crawly things!" he said as he struck a dramatic pose. Making him look, of course, like a total idiot.

"Sure whatever kid, I'd be careful though. A Yeck isn't very dangerous but you just wait until they start sending manticores or dragons. Then let's see how well you do."

Duo shrugged, "Who knows, I'll live." He said as he looked at Howard, "You got anything else to tell me, or can I go on with my mission?"

Howard nodded, "Go ahead, oh! The gate's stuck so you'll have to jump over it. Millarido was suppose to fix it, but he slacks off something awful."

"AHHH!!!!" came a scream from inside the house. Duo looked just in time to see a puff of blue smoke rise from the chimney and then vanish.

"What was that?" Duo asked.

Before Howard could reply a young woman came out of the house looking rather upset.

"You! I should have known it was you!"

End Chapter two!