Title: The Shore Leave Adventures of Seamus Harper
Author: ILH, aka Melissa
Rated: PG-13
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: All characters and the like from Andromeda belong to Tribune. This is a fic orphan and the first 4 paragraphs belong to Anna.
Harper let the downpour wash the sweat and dirt from his face. Bright blood from a deep scratch beside his eye trailed down his cheek to drip from his unshaven chin. It figured that it would rain on this, his rare shore leave. Still, the rain felt good as it washed away the grime and the memories of the past few Hellish hours.
He was finally home free. He had escaped. He had lost his pursuers and made it to the outskirts of the dank Spaceport. Ships roared into the low angry clouds every few seconds, their afterburners shaking his ribcage with their songs.
He sighed, eyes closed, letting the exhaustion drain from his muscles.
Behind him, he heard the click-click of an ancient revolver being cocked. His breath caught in his throat. His eyes flew wide open in fear.
"No, no, no. Not this again. I could have sworn that I left them back there permenantly! And I'm only six or seven hundred feet from the Maru!" Harper controlled his quick ragged breathing and glanced around frantically for an escape.
Another large metal trash bin to the right of him caught his eye. 'You already know she's a damn good shot,' he thought to himself. 'If she gets me, I die, but she's about to shoot me anyways...what the hell? Maybe trash bins are lucky for me.' He abruptly rolled behind the bin, to hear the shot ring off of the metal. The gun was cocked again and heavy footsteps approached his position.
There was no escape this time, he realized. If he moved, she would shoot him. That left him dead. If he didn't move, she would shoot him. That left him dead. The nearest docked ship at the Spaceport was at least a hundred meters away. He knew that this fatal game of cat and mouse would soon be over.
"Hey, if there is a God listening to me, y'know, right now would be a good time for one of those miracles of Biblical proportions," he whispered as he crawled around the bin.
A figure leaped in front of him, which he immediately recognized as his main pursuer. She shoved the barrel of the cocked rifle into his temple as he tried to squirm away. "Stop moving or I'll fire!"
Harper realized he was on his last thread of hope for survival. "Hey, this is all one big misunderstanding. See, I didn't-"
"Shut up, boy!" The woman glared at him with her cold blue eyes. Her finger started pressing the trigger.
That diminshing thread of hope turned into much more very suddenly. Harper had to stifle the smile that wanted to spread across his face.
Beka Valentine used her forcelance to quickly disarm the other woman. A shot was fired into the air, and the gun slid over pavement several feet away. The other woman automatically sprang towards the rifle, but Beka was quicker. Beka used her forcelance for leverage and slammed the other woman in the other direction onto the pavement.
Beka leaned over her. "She's out cold. What in the hell happened to you, Harper?!?"
"Beka, have I ever told that you're an angel. A true angel! I'd kiss you right now if it wasn't so wrong," Harper said from the ground.
Beka cocked her head at him. "You must have hit your head, too. It's pouring down rain, and you're out here bleeding to death with a gun to your head? We've gotta get you to Med Deck." Beka closely examined the cut on the side of his face. "That's going to get infected."
"I know, I know, I know. Let's get to the Maru before she wakes up." Harper stared at the woman sprawled out on the pavement with hatred in his eyes.
"You want to leave her here to be mugged and maybe even killed?" Beka was surprised.
"Well, let's just put it this way. The Universe wouldn't be a worse place without her wreaking general havoc in it."
"We'd better get back to the Maru. Then, you can tell me all about what you did to make that woman want to kill you."
"Hey! Who says it's my fault? I mean-"
"Seamus, I've known you for four years now. It's always your fault."
They walked across the wet pavement of the Spacedock to the Maru in silence. They boarded and secured the airlocks before going to Medical Deck to repair Harper's wounds.
"You haven't said a word. Is what you did really that bad?" Beka asked as she wiped the blood away from the deep scratch. "This looks like it was done with fingernails."
"A fingernail, yes. I know what you're thinking, and the answer is no," Harper replied.
"You're damn lucky she didn't get your eye. This is going to sting." Beka applied the antiseptic to the wound.
"Ow! That really hurts," Harper complained, wincing.
"Are you planning on telling me what happened?"
"Yeah, but I don't know where to start..."
"Start at the beginning. The last time I saw you was at that bar ten or eleven kilometers east of here."
"Yeah, that's where it all started after you left. See, I was just sitting alone minding my own business..."
*****
Harper downed another shot of whiskey. It had been fifteen minutes since Beka had left. Fifteen of the most boring minutes of his life. He had few choices on what he could do. He had four whiskeys and was slightly inebriated, but he was still capable of the leaving the bar if he wanted to. His second choice was to remain seated in the booth, drinking down the occassional shot of whiskey. His third choice was to hop up onto the karaoke stage and make a fool of himself in front of everyone else singing the current selection, Britney Spears.
"Hey, is this seat taken?" A gorgeous blonde woman slid into the booth beside him.
"And then there's option number four," Harper said softly to himself, grinning. "Hiya."
"I'm Amber. What's your name?"
"Harper. Nice to meet you." He gave her entire body a glance. "Very nice."
She smiled and moved closer to him. "You know what I'd like to do right now?"
"Would I!" He smiled back at her.
She wrapped her arms around Harper, kissing him, and pulled him out of the booth. She made sure everyone was watching and pinned him to the floor. Her every action was evident and evoked a reaction from most of the people surrounding them.
"Get a room!" someone yelled from across the bar.
"Hey, maybe that's not a bad idea," Harper whispered into her ear.
"I like it right here," she seductively replied.
"Get up now, Amber!" an angry voice said from above them.
Amber stood, pulling Harper up with her. "This is my boyfriend."
"Who is this little pipsqueak?" the tall brunette woman asked.
"He's Harper. He treats me a lot better than you do." Amber began hanging all over Harper.
"Like hell he does! You wanna fight, short stuff?" The woman intimidatingly stepped forward, staring down at Harper.
"Stop it, Kiara! Stop it now!" Amber said.
"She's mine, and we're going to fight!"
Kiara grabbed Harper by his collar and glared into his eyes, snarling.
"Hey, would you mind ummmmm leaving me alone?" Harper asked.
"You tried to steal my girlfriend. I don't take things like this sitting down."
"I didn't try to steal anyone's girlfriend! She came onto me! I swear I hadn't even seen her until like five minutes ago!" Harper squirmed, trying to escape Kiara's grasp.
"Shut up, boy! We're going to fight!"
Harper kneed the woman in her stomach as hard as he could, which sent her doubling over. After pushing a couple of chairs in her direction, he ran around the tables and headed towards the exit. "It's only a few feet away, please let me make it, please let me make it..."
As his hand touched the door, Kiara popped up in front of him and tried to punch his face. He ducked and she missed. However, she managed to claw near his right eye with her other hand. Harper kicked her again and ran in the opposite direction.
"I'm going to get you, boy!!!!" Kiara angrily screamed. Her eyes locked on something above Harper.
He looked up to see an antique rifle hanging above his head. "Oh crap! I've really gotta get out of here now!"
He took the opportunity of her running towards the rifle to hurry back to the door. As he pushed it open, a shot was fired, barely missing his head. He knew she probably wouldn't miss on her second shot and ran through the back alley towards the Spacedock.
"It's probably ten or eleven kilometers from here!" He groaned and kept running.
Ten minutes passed without a sign of Kiara. He was beginning to feel relieved when he ran straight into a very tall, muscular man in leather.
"Who in the hell are you and what do you want?!?" the man asked as he turned around. "Hey, you're the pipsqueak Kiara just called me about!"
Harper knew that was his cue to run away again, which he did. He really hoped the man didn't have a gun. When Harper craned his neck around, he discovered his hopes were reality, the man didn't have a gun. But he was carrying a very sharp knife and quickly gaining on Harper.
"Damn it!" Harper muttered between breaths.
He passed a sign in the direction of the Spaceport that read 'Spaceport 9 Kilometers.' "There's no way I can run that far with this guy on my tail! I'm screwed!"
Since his energy was becoming quickly depleted, Harper chose to try to confuse his pursuer. He turned down a dark alley and ran. At the end of the alley, he found he had one option, and that was up. There was a large wire fence in his way. He started climbing towards the top. He was nearly halfway up when he heard his pursuer following him.
"He's got a knife," Harper whispered, scrambling towards the top. He felt the knife brush against the side of his boot.
That was more than enough to send Harper vaulting over the fence, quickly grabbing the links and pushing himself to solid ground again. His pursuer was still on his tail, though, and he continued running around the unfamiliar buildings and such.
Eventually, Harper's pursuer steps grew farther behind him. He turned into another alley and headed back to the main road that led to the Spaceport. He knew his pursuer would catch up to him. He needed a hiding place. After a thorough visual scanning of the area, he assumed he had nowhere to hide. When he stepped forward he tripped, and discovered the access cover to the underground transportation system.
Harper found that he did have his nanowelder in his pocket, and used it to remove the access cover and enter the system. He sealed the cover behind him when he heard a rumbling in the distance. "And that would be an underground shuttle! Oh crap! Crap, crap, crap!"
He sprinted forward, hoping to find a drop off or pick up point of some sort. He found nothing, and as the rumbling moved closer, he knew he had no choice but to flatten himself against the wall. There was a slight chance he would manage to stay under twenty inches from the edge. It was his only chance.
The rumbling turned into a roar as the underground shuttle passed him, nearly knocking him off of his feet. He clung to two support wires behind him for balance. Eventually, the end of the underground shuttle passed him. He took a deep breath and leaned over.
"That was way too close. I've gotta get out of here!" Harper noticed he was covered in dirt and dust the the underground shuttle had thrown up around him. "This really sucks."
He trudged quickly to the next underground shuttle drop off and pick up point. He managed to sneak past security and emerge in the city yet again.
The first sign he saw read "Spaceport 7 Kilometers." He groaned at the sight of it.
"I've just gotta get seven more kilometers without being killed by that psychotic woman or her thug friend."
Harper walked quickly past any people he saw with his head down. Fifteen relatively uneventful minutes passed when he finally let out a sigh relief at the sight of another sign. "Six more kilometers to freedom."
Without any warning, his two pursuers emerged from an alley, weapons drawn.
"I'm going to pump you full of lead, boy!" the woman said as she cocked the rifle.
"And after she's done, I'll dice you into little pieces and spread you all over town with my shuttle," the thug said. He smiled and stared at his large knife.
"I'd really love to stay and chat, but I've got places to go and people to see!" With that, Harper ran again.
Harper heard a shot ring out and whiz over his left shoulder. He headed into the nearest alley, taking all the turns he could to be out of firing range. It continued for what felt like hours. Soon, he realized they were running in circles. He knew he didn't have that much energy left.
"I've gotta find a way," he said to himself, taking in his surroundings as he ran. An opened trash bin used by an apartment building initiated a plan tumbling through his mind. He glanced up at the building's roof. "Now, getting up there..."
Harper spotted an escape ladder and headed straight towards it. He climbed it quickly and crawled across the roof. He found several barrels of oil, which he knew would suit his purposes well. He poured a trail of oil around the area leading down to the trash bin and sat the oil barrels near that area too. The only thing he had left to do was wait for his pursuers.
Harper stood and glanced over the roof edge to see them searching below, baffled. "Maybe they need some help," he said to himself as he knocked over some machinery.
As he had hoped, they saw him and started climbing the ladder. He ran towards the edge of the roof and acted as if he couldn't find a way out. When his pursuers approached closely enough, he ran to the side of the oil, but they went right through it. They slid across the roof and fell with a clatter into the trash bin.
To be assured he would not have to deal with either of them again, he pushed the oil barrels down into the bin with his pursuers. He stared down to see no movement and triumphantly climbed down and headed towards the Spaceport.
*****
"After a rather uneventful five kilometer walk, she somehow had escaped from my trap and that's when you came in. You saved me, we left her out there to die. And I don't know where in the hell the thug went. Gone forever, hopefully," Harper finished.
"You really do make lots of friends on our excursions, Harper," Beka said sarcastically.
"Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure they've both got a death ticket with my name on it right now if they're still alive so we'd better get out of here. And I've had more shore leave than I can stomach anyways, Beka."
"Too bad, Harper," Beka said as she piloted the Maru out of the Spacedock.
"Oh?" Harper asked.
"I met a girl that I think you'd like who doesn't have anyone. She said she'd really like to meet you," Beka said.
"Take me to her!" Harper grinned.
"After all that, you still want a girl? You never cease to amaze me, Seamus. Never."
FINIS
Author: ILH, aka Melissa
Rated: PG-13
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: All characters and the like from Andromeda belong to Tribune. This is a fic orphan and the first 4 paragraphs belong to Anna.
Harper let the downpour wash the sweat and dirt from his face. Bright blood from a deep scratch beside his eye trailed down his cheek to drip from his unshaven chin. It figured that it would rain on this, his rare shore leave. Still, the rain felt good as it washed away the grime and the memories of the past few Hellish hours.
He was finally home free. He had escaped. He had lost his pursuers and made it to the outskirts of the dank Spaceport. Ships roared into the low angry clouds every few seconds, their afterburners shaking his ribcage with their songs.
He sighed, eyes closed, letting the exhaustion drain from his muscles.
Behind him, he heard the click-click of an ancient revolver being cocked. His breath caught in his throat. His eyes flew wide open in fear.
"No, no, no. Not this again. I could have sworn that I left them back there permenantly! And I'm only six or seven hundred feet from the Maru!" Harper controlled his quick ragged breathing and glanced around frantically for an escape.
Another large metal trash bin to the right of him caught his eye. 'You already know she's a damn good shot,' he thought to himself. 'If she gets me, I die, but she's about to shoot me anyways...what the hell? Maybe trash bins are lucky for me.' He abruptly rolled behind the bin, to hear the shot ring off of the metal. The gun was cocked again and heavy footsteps approached his position.
There was no escape this time, he realized. If he moved, she would shoot him. That left him dead. If he didn't move, she would shoot him. That left him dead. The nearest docked ship at the Spaceport was at least a hundred meters away. He knew that this fatal game of cat and mouse would soon be over.
"Hey, if there is a God listening to me, y'know, right now would be a good time for one of those miracles of Biblical proportions," he whispered as he crawled around the bin.
A figure leaped in front of him, which he immediately recognized as his main pursuer. She shoved the barrel of the cocked rifle into his temple as he tried to squirm away. "Stop moving or I'll fire!"
Harper realized he was on his last thread of hope for survival. "Hey, this is all one big misunderstanding. See, I didn't-"
"Shut up, boy!" The woman glared at him with her cold blue eyes. Her finger started pressing the trigger.
That diminshing thread of hope turned into much more very suddenly. Harper had to stifle the smile that wanted to spread across his face.
Beka Valentine used her forcelance to quickly disarm the other woman. A shot was fired into the air, and the gun slid over pavement several feet away. The other woman automatically sprang towards the rifle, but Beka was quicker. Beka used her forcelance for leverage and slammed the other woman in the other direction onto the pavement.
Beka leaned over her. "She's out cold. What in the hell happened to you, Harper?!?"
"Beka, have I ever told that you're an angel. A true angel! I'd kiss you right now if it wasn't so wrong," Harper said from the ground.
Beka cocked her head at him. "You must have hit your head, too. It's pouring down rain, and you're out here bleeding to death with a gun to your head? We've gotta get you to Med Deck." Beka closely examined the cut on the side of his face. "That's going to get infected."
"I know, I know, I know. Let's get to the Maru before she wakes up." Harper stared at the woman sprawled out on the pavement with hatred in his eyes.
"You want to leave her here to be mugged and maybe even killed?" Beka was surprised.
"Well, let's just put it this way. The Universe wouldn't be a worse place without her wreaking general havoc in it."
"We'd better get back to the Maru. Then, you can tell me all about what you did to make that woman want to kill you."
"Hey! Who says it's my fault? I mean-"
"Seamus, I've known you for four years now. It's always your fault."
They walked across the wet pavement of the Spacedock to the Maru in silence. They boarded and secured the airlocks before going to Medical Deck to repair Harper's wounds.
"You haven't said a word. Is what you did really that bad?" Beka asked as she wiped the blood away from the deep scratch. "This looks like it was done with fingernails."
"A fingernail, yes. I know what you're thinking, and the answer is no," Harper replied.
"You're damn lucky she didn't get your eye. This is going to sting." Beka applied the antiseptic to the wound.
"Ow! That really hurts," Harper complained, wincing.
"Are you planning on telling me what happened?"
"Yeah, but I don't know where to start..."
"Start at the beginning. The last time I saw you was at that bar ten or eleven kilometers east of here."
"Yeah, that's where it all started after you left. See, I was just sitting alone minding my own business..."
*****
Harper downed another shot of whiskey. It had been fifteen minutes since Beka had left. Fifteen of the most boring minutes of his life. He had few choices on what he could do. He had four whiskeys and was slightly inebriated, but he was still capable of the leaving the bar if he wanted to. His second choice was to remain seated in the booth, drinking down the occassional shot of whiskey. His third choice was to hop up onto the karaoke stage and make a fool of himself in front of everyone else singing the current selection, Britney Spears.
"Hey, is this seat taken?" A gorgeous blonde woman slid into the booth beside him.
"And then there's option number four," Harper said softly to himself, grinning. "Hiya."
"I'm Amber. What's your name?"
"Harper. Nice to meet you." He gave her entire body a glance. "Very nice."
She smiled and moved closer to him. "You know what I'd like to do right now?"
"Would I!" He smiled back at her.
She wrapped her arms around Harper, kissing him, and pulled him out of the booth. She made sure everyone was watching and pinned him to the floor. Her every action was evident and evoked a reaction from most of the people surrounding them.
"Get a room!" someone yelled from across the bar.
"Hey, maybe that's not a bad idea," Harper whispered into her ear.
"I like it right here," she seductively replied.
"Get up now, Amber!" an angry voice said from above them.
Amber stood, pulling Harper up with her. "This is my boyfriend."
"Who is this little pipsqueak?" the tall brunette woman asked.
"He's Harper. He treats me a lot better than you do." Amber began hanging all over Harper.
"Like hell he does! You wanna fight, short stuff?" The woman intimidatingly stepped forward, staring down at Harper.
"Stop it, Kiara! Stop it now!" Amber said.
"She's mine, and we're going to fight!"
Kiara grabbed Harper by his collar and glared into his eyes, snarling.
"Hey, would you mind ummmmm leaving me alone?" Harper asked.
"You tried to steal my girlfriend. I don't take things like this sitting down."
"I didn't try to steal anyone's girlfriend! She came onto me! I swear I hadn't even seen her until like five minutes ago!" Harper squirmed, trying to escape Kiara's grasp.
"Shut up, boy! We're going to fight!"
Harper kneed the woman in her stomach as hard as he could, which sent her doubling over. After pushing a couple of chairs in her direction, he ran around the tables and headed towards the exit. "It's only a few feet away, please let me make it, please let me make it..."
As his hand touched the door, Kiara popped up in front of him and tried to punch his face. He ducked and she missed. However, she managed to claw near his right eye with her other hand. Harper kicked her again and ran in the opposite direction.
"I'm going to get you, boy!!!!" Kiara angrily screamed. Her eyes locked on something above Harper.
He looked up to see an antique rifle hanging above his head. "Oh crap! I've really gotta get out of here now!"
He took the opportunity of her running towards the rifle to hurry back to the door. As he pushed it open, a shot was fired, barely missing his head. He knew she probably wouldn't miss on her second shot and ran through the back alley towards the Spacedock.
"It's probably ten or eleven kilometers from here!" He groaned and kept running.
Ten minutes passed without a sign of Kiara. He was beginning to feel relieved when he ran straight into a very tall, muscular man in leather.
"Who in the hell are you and what do you want?!?" the man asked as he turned around. "Hey, you're the pipsqueak Kiara just called me about!"
Harper knew that was his cue to run away again, which he did. He really hoped the man didn't have a gun. When Harper craned his neck around, he discovered his hopes were reality, the man didn't have a gun. But he was carrying a very sharp knife and quickly gaining on Harper.
"Damn it!" Harper muttered between breaths.
He passed a sign in the direction of the Spaceport that read 'Spaceport 9 Kilometers.' "There's no way I can run that far with this guy on my tail! I'm screwed!"
Since his energy was becoming quickly depleted, Harper chose to try to confuse his pursuer. He turned down a dark alley and ran. At the end of the alley, he found he had one option, and that was up. There was a large wire fence in his way. He started climbing towards the top. He was nearly halfway up when he heard his pursuer following him.
"He's got a knife," Harper whispered, scrambling towards the top. He felt the knife brush against the side of his boot.
That was more than enough to send Harper vaulting over the fence, quickly grabbing the links and pushing himself to solid ground again. His pursuer was still on his tail, though, and he continued running around the unfamiliar buildings and such.
Eventually, Harper's pursuer steps grew farther behind him. He turned into another alley and headed back to the main road that led to the Spaceport. He knew his pursuer would catch up to him. He needed a hiding place. After a thorough visual scanning of the area, he assumed he had nowhere to hide. When he stepped forward he tripped, and discovered the access cover to the underground transportation system.
Harper found that he did have his nanowelder in his pocket, and used it to remove the access cover and enter the system. He sealed the cover behind him when he heard a rumbling in the distance. "And that would be an underground shuttle! Oh crap! Crap, crap, crap!"
He sprinted forward, hoping to find a drop off or pick up point of some sort. He found nothing, and as the rumbling moved closer, he knew he had no choice but to flatten himself against the wall. There was a slight chance he would manage to stay under twenty inches from the edge. It was his only chance.
The rumbling turned into a roar as the underground shuttle passed him, nearly knocking him off of his feet. He clung to two support wires behind him for balance. Eventually, the end of the underground shuttle passed him. He took a deep breath and leaned over.
"That was way too close. I've gotta get out of here!" Harper noticed he was covered in dirt and dust the the underground shuttle had thrown up around him. "This really sucks."
He trudged quickly to the next underground shuttle drop off and pick up point. He managed to sneak past security and emerge in the city yet again.
The first sign he saw read "Spaceport 7 Kilometers." He groaned at the sight of it.
"I've just gotta get seven more kilometers without being killed by that psychotic woman or her thug friend."
Harper walked quickly past any people he saw with his head down. Fifteen relatively uneventful minutes passed when he finally let out a sigh relief at the sight of another sign. "Six more kilometers to freedom."
Without any warning, his two pursuers emerged from an alley, weapons drawn.
"I'm going to pump you full of lead, boy!" the woman said as she cocked the rifle.
"And after she's done, I'll dice you into little pieces and spread you all over town with my shuttle," the thug said. He smiled and stared at his large knife.
"I'd really love to stay and chat, but I've got places to go and people to see!" With that, Harper ran again.
Harper heard a shot ring out and whiz over his left shoulder. He headed into the nearest alley, taking all the turns he could to be out of firing range. It continued for what felt like hours. Soon, he realized they were running in circles. He knew he didn't have that much energy left.
"I've gotta find a way," he said to himself, taking in his surroundings as he ran. An opened trash bin used by an apartment building initiated a plan tumbling through his mind. He glanced up at the building's roof. "Now, getting up there..."
Harper spotted an escape ladder and headed straight towards it. He climbed it quickly and crawled across the roof. He found several barrels of oil, which he knew would suit his purposes well. He poured a trail of oil around the area leading down to the trash bin and sat the oil barrels near that area too. The only thing he had left to do was wait for his pursuers.
Harper stood and glanced over the roof edge to see them searching below, baffled. "Maybe they need some help," he said to himself as he knocked over some machinery.
As he had hoped, they saw him and started climbing the ladder. He ran towards the edge of the roof and acted as if he couldn't find a way out. When his pursuers approached closely enough, he ran to the side of the oil, but they went right through it. They slid across the roof and fell with a clatter into the trash bin.
To be assured he would not have to deal with either of them again, he pushed the oil barrels down into the bin with his pursuers. He stared down to see no movement and triumphantly climbed down and headed towards the Spaceport.
*****
"After a rather uneventful five kilometer walk, she somehow had escaped from my trap and that's when you came in. You saved me, we left her out there to die. And I don't know where in the hell the thug went. Gone forever, hopefully," Harper finished.
"You really do make lots of friends on our excursions, Harper," Beka said sarcastically.
"Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure they've both got a death ticket with my name on it right now if they're still alive so we'd better get out of here. And I've had more shore leave than I can stomach anyways, Beka."
"Too bad, Harper," Beka said as she piloted the Maru out of the Spacedock.
"Oh?" Harper asked.
"I met a girl that I think you'd like who doesn't have anyone. She said she'd really like to meet you," Beka said.
"Take me to her!" Harper grinned.
"After all that, you still want a girl? You never cease to amaze me, Seamus. Never."
FINIS