A/N: Part five is here: finally! Writer's block/finals/boarding school applications/ etc. Sorry! I've also had other ideas stuck in my head for the past month that I couldn't help writing out… Eek! That's not cool… But now it's summer, so I can writ a little faster… =-)
Disclaimer: Digimon: Digital Monsters is legal property of Saban, Toei Animation, Fox Kids, et al. By writing this fan fiction, I in no way imply that I am the owner of the cartoon. All major characters used in this fan fiction are legal property of the owners of this cartoon show. This fan fiction is written purely for my own enjoyment and the enjoyment of those that may read it, and I do not intend any copyright infringement.
Awakenings 05: If I Fall…
"I know the sky is calling
Angel, let me help you with your wings…"
-Nickel Creek, When You Come Back Down
"I don't know. No one does, really. They went out to dinner, and I called Tai's cell phone to tell him about TK, and then the next morning, they had broken up!"
"But, I don't see how…"
"None of us do, Kari."
"But they were so much in love! There's no way that they could have broken up!"
"Well, they did."
Kari was pretty shocked, as far as Matt could tell. She hadn't expected this so soon after TK's accident. Matt handed her a tissue as she started to cry.
"Kari, are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine… no I'm not. I don't know!"
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"First the crash… what did I do, Matt? How did I deserve this punishment? Why? Is there something out there that wants me to suffer?" Kari's voice was angry. "What have I done?"
"Kari, it's not your fault."
"Yes it is! I did this! If it wasn't for me, he'd still be conscious!"
"Yeah, but if it weren't for you, he'd be miserable! Kari, don't you get it? You're the love of his life! If he hadn't told you that night, he'd have to keep it all in! He'd be lonely and sad and he'd wind up doing something drastic! Would you want that?"
"No, but…"
"Don't you go off on this 'it's my fault' guilt trip! When TK wakes up- and yes, I mean when, not if, Kari- he can't have you being all miserable, because he'll think it's his fault for telling you. It is NOT your fault. It's that drunk driver's fault, and he's punished. He's dead. You can't hold all of the guilt inside, Kari."
"But TK will hate me… his basketball…"
"TK can't hate you. He told me once that he thinks that you two share a soul. And basketball doesn't matter to him. You do. And he's not going to love you any less because some idiot got in a car after having a couple drinks."
"He said that?"
"Yeah. He seriously did."
"Since when did he get so poetic?"
"Since high school, when I told him that girls liked two things- poets and singers. And then he said that I was the one who got the voice."
Kari smiled, although there were tears in her eyes. "I miss him, Matt."
"I know, Kari," he said as he comforted her. "I know."
* * * * *
TK felt like he was in a fog. He couldn't feel anything, though… no heat, no cold, no pain… And then he remembered the accident- that had been painful… why couldn't he feel anything now? He had thought that he would be in pain for quite a while afterwards…
He couldn't see anything but a light in the distance. He had to reach the light, he didn't know why. He could barely move… the fog was thick and it was pressing down on him, making it nearly impossible to continue towards the light… But he had to keep going…
He could hear a little… someone was crying. Kari. He had to reach her, to stop her crying! TK wanted to make her happy… he didn't like her to cry, because when she cried he felt like his heart was breaking in two…
He tried to speak, but as he said the words, they were swept away… He screamed, hoping… maybe she could hear him then?
But no matter how much he tried to reach her, comfort her, make her be happy again, she couldn't hear him…
* * * * *
Dr. Philip Kelsey routinely skipped his lunch break to work on one case or another, but today he grabbed Takeru Takaishi's chart and walked to the staff lounge to review the information contained in the manila folder.
He had to admit it, when the patient first came in, he had thought it was hopeless. The pelvic fracture was bad enough that it could have killed him, but somehow he had made it to the hospital without dying. He saw why Jon O'Neill had called him down as soon as the patient had come in. Because, after all, Philip was the best.
But then it had turned out that Takeru Takaishi had Malignant Hyperthermia, and Philip had to work together with Jon O'Neill…
Philip couldn't help being sarcastic when Jon was around. He knew that their feud was discussed all around the hospital. He sincerely hated the man. He couldn't even think of how long they had been playing 'let's see who can be the better doctor', but he knew it had been a long time.
Then Julie Connolley had come along. Sweet, smart, Julie Connolley. Why did she have to be Jon's med student? But after talking to some nurses who had been around the two, Philip had figured out that he held the ultimate weapon. The more times he went out with Julie, the more miserable Jon would be. But he sincerely liked Julie. He didn't want to hurt her. But he did want to hurt Jon…
Or did he?
* * * * *
Kari had fallen asleep in the chair next to TK's bed. When she woke up, she could see two nurses wheeling the bed out of the room.
"What is it?"
"We're taking him up to fix his leg," said the first nurse. "It's routine surgery, no big deal. He'll be back in a couple of hours."
Kari nodded and the bed was whisked away. Matt, however, had gone to get something to eat, and as he entered the room with his Discman on, his face turned white.
"Kari, what's happened? Is he…"
Kari smiled at him. "He's gone to get his leg fixed."
Matt sighed in relief. "Oh. Okay."
"What'cha listening to?"
"Our band's CD."
"You have a CD?"
"It's a burned copy of our songs."
"Oh."
The two sat in comfortable silence, until the door to the room swung open, and Sora walked in.
"Sora!" Kari hugged the redhead. "Are you okay?"
Sora gave a watery grin. It was apparent that she had been crying since she had left Odaiba. Her eyes were red-rimmed and her nose was blotchy.
"Sora, have you been crying?"
"Matt, how could you ever tell?" Sora smiled at him, but it ended up erupting into a burst of tears. Kari handed her a tissue. Sora wiped her eyes. "Some women can look good when they cry, but I can't. my nose gets all blotchy."
Kari smiled at her. "I was crying all morning. Ask Matt."
Matt nodded. "She did cry all morning. For a while there, I didn't know if she'd ever stop crying."
"Hey, where is TK, anyway? How's he doing?"
Kari motioned towards the door. "He went to get his leg fixed, because he'd shattered it. And he's fine now, except he'll probably have a few scars from when he hit the pavement. And the doctor isn't quite sure if he'll wake up or not…" Kari sniffled. "Matt, give me the tissue box."
"Not this again, Kari… It's not your fault!"
"I know… but I may never see him alive again, and that's tough…"
Sora started crying again and the two hugged each other, both sobbing. Matt wiped at his eyes.
"Hey Matt, are you crying?"
"Almost. So be quiet."
"Okay."
Kari grabbed the tissue box and distributed them to everyone. "Okay. Sora, what happened?"
Sora wiped her eyes. "I don't know, exactly, and that's the worst part."
Matt groaned. "Okay. Start at the beginning."
"Well, Tai and I went out for dinner. And then we were talking, right? And I asked how you were doing, because I hadn't been able to get in contact with you in a while. And then he said that you were doing fine. I mentioned that I hoped that you and TK would get together. So then Tai said that he wanted to try and see if he could get you and TK together, and I told him that he shouldn't because that wasn't letting you make your own choices, and he said that I didn't understand. I asked why, and he said it was because I didn't have any siblings. So I told him that just because I didn't have any brothers or sisters didn't mean that I didn't know how to make the right decisions about love. Well, I guess that got on his nerves, because he said that I didn't know what love was. Then I got mad, and I yelled at him, and he yelled at me, and I called him some things that I probably shouldn't have, and…"
Matt interrupted. "What exactly did you call him?"
"Um, a worthless big-haired goggle-freak who didn't know enough to stop meddling in other people's business, and…"
Matt's eyes got larger. "Uh-oh, you insulted the almighty goggles."
"I know! And that's the worst part!" Sora was crying quite freely now. "I didn't mean it! And then he told me… he told me that I didn't deserve the crest of love!"
Kari wiped her eyes on a tissue. "Wow, that's low. Idiot brother."
"What do you mean?"
"He doesn't know what he's missing."
Sora sobbed. "But I miss him so much…" Her voice cracked. "I want him back!"
"Do you love him?"
"I don't know! What is love, anyway?"
Kari tossed her the tissue box. "Would you give anything to make him happy? Would you do whatever it took to make sure he was all right? Can…" She sniffled. "Can you see you two growing old together, and watching as your kids grow and you have grandchildren, and…"
Matt hugged Kari. "Kari, it's going to be okay. TK is going to wake up, and you two can get married, and Tai and I can have fights over who spoils your kids the most, and you can buy a house and live happily ever after."
Kari laughed, tears still rolling down her face. "Matt, I'm so scared."
"I know, we all are. But TK's a fighter. He'll make it out all right."
Sora sniffled. "I'm going to call Tai."
"That's it, Sora," said Matt. "Go for it."
Sora picked up the phone and Kari and Matt left the room to give her some privacy.
"So, Matt, what should we do?"
"Let's go get something to eat."
"Hey, remember when TK painted the cat?"
"And when he fell off that balcony-thing at Ken's?"
"And that time when you and Tai took him for a ride in that awful car, and he was almost throwing up?"
Matt laughed. "And then you yelled at Tai and Tai almost hit the tree?"
Kari smiled. "Do you know about the time when TK and I stole your guitar and hid it?"
"Yeah, and it took me three days to find it!"
"And then when he found you and what's-her-name making out in the closet and he told you that your mom was at the door?"
"Yeah! And I was trying to get her to leave through the back door so mom wouldn't catch her, and TK was laughing so hard that he was laying on the floor in the living room! I was so mad at him…"
"Oh, well, she was a slut anyway. No big loss."
"Okay, I was a junior. It really didn't matter to me!"
Kari grinned. "It was funny though…"
"How'd you find out about that, anyway?"
"TK told me about it."
"He told you a lot, didn't he?"
"He was my best friend! He told me everything. Including the time when your band had a party and you all danced around in your underwear…"
"Hey!"
"Someday, I can blackmail you… especially because TK has pictures!"
"He does not… If he does, I'll kill him, I swear…"
"You're right, he doesn't."
"Hey! Don't scare me like that!"
Kari giggled. "Hey, when do you think the surgery will be finished?"
"I don't know, probably pretty soon, I guess. Let's go find Sora."
As Kari and Matt entered TK's room, Sora greeted them with a grin.
"What is it, Sora?"
"He loves me! He really does! And we're not fighting any more, and he says that he forgives me! Aren't you guys happy?"
Matt grinned at her. "Hey, Sora, can I be best man at your wedding?"
"Hey, don't assume anything!"
Kari interrupted. "Because, Matt, you know what assuming does…"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give it up."
The joking banter was interrupted as a nurse wheeled TK's prone figure into the room.
"How did the surgery go?" asked Matt. "Is his leg going to be okay?"
"Actually," said the nurse, "Dr. Kelsey is going to be in the room within the next half hour to talk with you about that. He's only got a few papers to finish up, so it won't be too long."
Kari nodded. "Is something wrong?"
"You'll have to wait, I don't know a lot." The nurse exited the room.
Kari's eyes met Sora's, and she could tell that the redhead was as frightened as she was. Matt collapsed into the armchair next to TK's bed.
"What could have happened? I thought the other surgery was bad enough, and I wasn't even there! What could have possibly gone wrong?" Kari could tell by Matt's voice that he was mad. Not just mad, steaming. His rage was so contorting his face that Kari wasn't even sure that he was really Matt.
"Dammit!" Matt swore and threw TK's charts across the room. "Damn damn damn!"
"Matt, please…" Sora tried to calm Matt's anger, but failing. "Matt, stop it!"
"Stop what, Sora? Stop loving my brother? Stop wishing that everything could go back to the way it was? Well, it can't ever go back to the way it was, so just shut up! You don't know what it's like to have someone you love lying in a bed, and you're sitting there, not knowing what's going to happen. And you know that if he dies, you may never see him again, and you'll never get to say you're sorry for all the awful things you did when he was with you. And that if he does wake up, he may not even know who you are, because he might have amnesia! You don't know anything. So you just shut your mouth." He picked up a plastic bottle of water and threw it into the wall. "Damn."
Sora grabbed his arm. "Matt, we all love TK. You're not the only person in the world who cares about him. You've always tried to isolate yourself, so you don't have to feel anything. So you can be the strong one. You did it in the Digiworld, and you're doing it now. We're a team, Matt. You can't pull away like this, even if it is because of your temper. Look what you're doing to us! Look what you've done to Kari!"
Kari sat in the armchair, her head in her hands, silent sobs shaking her shoulders. "Look what you've done, Matt. You're not the only one who cares about him. You're not the only one who feels guilty. Don't pretend that you are!" Sora bent down to scoop up the handful of papers that had fallen off of the clipboard after Matt had thrown it. She placed the clipboard back where it belonged, on the footboard of the hospital bed. "I'm leaving, Tai and I are going out to dinner. Matt, you just watch. Everything is going to be okay."
Matt sat on the windowsill for some time after she left, his head in his hands, before he realized the full extent of her words. Was he isolating himself again? He didn't want to, he knew that. In the Digiworld, he had been so lonely, so angry, so ready to lash out, that he hadn't really made friends until he let the wall down.
Kari stood up, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. She looks worse than before, Matt thought, and it's all my fault!
"Kari, I'm so sorry…" He hugged her. "It'll be okay, I promise. I'm so sorry, I lost my temper, please, don't cry!" He could feel her tears soaking his shirt, but it didn't really matter to him. "TK will wake up, I promise. Please, stop crying!"
"But what if he doesn't? What if he stays like this forever? What if…"
"Shh… He will. I promise."
* * * * *
Dr. Philip Kelsey grabbed the charts off of his desk and made his way to Takeru Takaishi's room. His white lab coat billowed behind him as he hurried, so as not to be late to talk to the boy's family.
The surgery had gone well, he thought. If it weren't for the fact that the boy was the university's basketball star, he would have send one of the nurses to talk to the boy's family. But with such a shock before them, he didn't think that they would appreciate some nurse coming in and giving them the bad news.
He turned the corner and entered the room. The girl looked as if she had been crying, and there was an obvious family resemblance between the tall man sitting on the windowsill and the patient in the bed. As he walked in, he knew the family was very anxious.
"Hello, I'm Dr. Philip Kelsey… I'm the surgeon who did the work on Takeru's leg."
The girl nodded. "Is everything okay, doctor?"
"The surgery went well, if that's what you mean. Here are the x-rays of his leg before…" Philip held the picture up to a light box. "As you can see, there was significant damage to the knee…"
The girl gasped raggedly, and a single tear made it's way down her cheek. The man hugged her and nodded for Philip to continue.
"We inserted a device into his knee and repaired the cartilage… But there is one thing that you should know…"
"What is it, Dr. Kelsey?
"Because of the extent of damage, we were unable to restore Takeru's leg to its original condition. Once he awakens, he may be in a wheelchair for a few weeks and eventually, he'll start using a cane. However, he will probably have at least a slight limp for the rest of his life. Unfortunately, I don't believe professional basketball is in Takeru's future."
The man nodded. "I thought that's what might happen…"
The girl smiled. "Thank you, Dr. Kelsey. We really appreciate what you've done for TK."
"You're welcome. Give my best wishes to Takeru when he wakes up."
"We will, doctor. Thanks."
` Philip left the room. It didn't take long before he was back to the staff lounge.
He thought about the two people from before. How could they not be angry after what he had told them? Takeru might never play professional basketball again, and they were okay with that! The boy's future was shot! Most athletes that he knew of went to school to play, and skipped most classes…
Somehow, he thought, this boy is different.
* * * * *
Kari had opened the window, and a cool breeze blew into the room. The curtains fluttered in the breeze as she sat in semi-darkness.
She wished that Matt had stayed, though. The hospital staff had said that only one person could stay overnight, and Matt had said that Kari could. He left to go to his apartment.
But Kari was lonely. She hadn't wanted to be alone for most of this ordeal, but that night in the hospital…
That night had been the worst night of her life so far, she thought. She had been so lonely, so desperate, and she had to give her trust to the doctors, because there wasn't anything she could have done to help TK… She didn't like being helpless…
Suddenly a slight movement on the bed startled her. She watched TK for a moment- she had thought his fingers had moved. But she watched him for another minute and nothing happened…
There it was again. A slight movement of his left hand. Did this mean that he was waking up?
Please, please, please, thought Kari. Wake up… please…
His arm moved again, a little more this time, and then his leg shifted. As Kari watched, his eyes fluttered open…
"Am I in heaven?" he asked. "Are you an angel?"
To Be Continued…
A/N: Chapter 06 is coming up next, and then an epilogue! Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. If you could, please review… I love hearing from readers and reviews actually help me write faster… =-) Have a great day, and happy reading! =-) With love, Bumblebee.
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