Disclaimer:
(Since this'll only ruin my fic, I'll just keep this short)
I donnot own any of the Final Fantasy (game nor movie) characters,
plot or whatnot, nor do I own Harry Potter or any of it's characters,
nor anything else that I would get sued for that is ironically
mentioned in this fic. This is just a fic that I made for the fun of it,
so I won't tolerate flames. If you don't appreciate my sense of
humor, then you'll only look like an idiot in my eyes. So MLAH!


Warning:
Very Random and very insane fic. If it doesn't make sense to you
then get a sense of humor, or the least you can do is understand
mine, because I was a real flake when I made this.




Final Fantasy / Harry Potter Interview


==Show taking place at some Jerry Springer studio of whatnot,
where our interviewer, Leo, sits cross-legged in a chair (for some
reason there are very little people in the audience....).==

Audience: (clapping and jeering) "Le-o! Le-o! Le-o! Le-o!"

Leo: (walks on stage) "Welcome to the 'Leo Talk-Show of Terror
and Insanity'! Brought to you by the Mental Institution.
MWAHAHAHA!" (tries to clear throat) "Ahh, I think I have a frog in
my throat...."

Dumbledor: (in the audience, waves his wand around and suddenly,
a very disturbing scene enues: a frog jumps out of Leo's throat, and
hops off the stage. Dumbledor smiles)

Leo: (looking disturbed) "Uhh....thank you my good geezer man!"

Dumbledor: "...."

Leo: "So, I bet that some of you wondered what would happen if we
add the most popular RPG game series-or at least mine-and mix it
with the most popular book series-or at least in my opinion. So, how
many of you wondered about this?"

Audience: "...." (cricket chirps, wind blows, a tumbleweed flies by,
the works.)

Leo: (eyes shift) "Oookay, well, that's what today's show is gonna
be about. First, we'll bring out the Final Fantasy VIII cast!

(Final Fantasy VIII cast-Squall, Rinoa, Quistis, Zell, Irvine, and
Selphie walk upon the stage, waving at everyone as the Final
Fantasy fans whoop and cheer for them as the cast take each seats)

Leo: "So, how do you feel being on the show?"

Squall: "....whatever."

Quistis: "Hey, I think it's good for us to be on here, it's rather
nice...."

Zell: "What are you talking about, Quisty?" (shakes his head)

Leo: (to Zell) "Hey, you're still in Faronon's story! YOU'RE OUT!"

Zell: "Waaaah! I dunwannaaaaaaaaaa....!" (is kicked to Kingdom
Come)

Leo: (going back to like nothing ever happened) "Okay! What were
we talking about? Oh yes, I remember! Rinoa, what do you have to
say? And the rest of you, mainly Irvy Kennepooooooo."

FFVIIICast: (blink) (blink) "Okay...."

Quistis: "Yeah, well-"

Leo: "You already said something!"

Professor McGonnagal: "This is absurd! When will they get out the
rest?"

Leo: "Hey, your not supposed to be here Miss CONGENIATLITY!
STEVE!"

(suddenly, Steve from Jerry Springer walks in, and throws Professor
McGonnagal out the door)

Professor McGonnagal: "Waaaah! I dunwannaaaaaaaaaa! Hey,
Steve, can I touch your head?"

Steve: "....no."

Professor McGonnagal: "WAAAAHHH!" (is thrown out of the studio)

All: (blink) (blink) "Oookay...."

Leo: "Anyway, before Selphie starts making moves on my Irvy, hey!
BACK OFF YOU SKANK!" (slaps Selphie away from Irvine)

Selphie: "Yipe!"

Leo: (glaring) "S'what I thought...."

Irvine: "So, what is this all supposed to be about?"

Leo: (shrugs) "All I need is the Harry Potter cast to come in soon...."

Snape: (walks across the stage, holding his hands up in triumph) "I
OWN YOUR SOULS! MWAHAHAHAHA!"

Voldemort: (walks on stage)

Audience: (gasps) "It's You-Know-Who!"

Leo: "Who-know-be-a-whatie?"

Voldemort: (holding his hands up in triumph) "I OWN THE WORLD!
MWAHAH!"

All: (blinks)

Irvine: (pointing) "Who's he?"

Squall: ".....whatever."

Harry: (runs on stage) "COME BACK HERE!

Voldemort: "Gotta go!" (runs off, screeching:) "WEEEEEE!"

Harry: (runs off the stage after Voldemort)

Squall: ".....whatever."

Selphie: "Eee?"

Irvine: "That's it! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU! DIE YOU EVIL BEAST!
DIEEEE!" (conjures a violin and bashes Selphie's head over and
over until she is knocked out and lying on the floor, the Irvine
grabs a stake-erm-what was left of the violin, using it as a stake
and a whole "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" scene enues as Irvine
stakes Selphie)

Selphie: "Gah?" (passes out)

All: (claps) "YAY!"

(Laguna walks on stage)

Laguna: "Sorry I'm late, wait....am I in this fic?"

Leo: "ARGH! YOU RUINED IT!" (grabs her own violin and threatens
to bash Laguna)

Laguna: "Meep!" (runs away)

Hagrid: (stomps on) "NORBERT! NORBERT! WHERE DID 'YA GO?!"

Charlie: (from the audience) "Dude, we took Norbert a long time
ago."

Hagrid: "What?!" (stomps off the stage and into the audience,
after Charlie, who runs off the studio, and Hagrid chases after him,
making the whole place shake)

Audience: "Jerr-y! Jerr-y! Jerr-"

Leo: (glares at them) "Whose show is this? Watch it, 'cause I own
this fic."

Audience: "...erm....Le-o! Le-o Le-o!"

Rinoa: "Uhh, no?"

Squall: "....whatever."

Quistis: "Okay, this is just weird...."

Aki: ((from "Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within" for those who don't
know)) "The dreams are always the same....I'm standing, waiting.
The only question is, is if I'm in time enough to save the earth...."

Harry: (runs back on) "Hey, that's my job!" (runs off)

Selphie: (gets up) "Gah?"

Grey: ((also from "Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within"))
"What is that?" (points at Selphie)

Selphie: (cocks her head) "Eee?"

Random Bypasser: (is hit by a banana)

Rinoa: "Hehehe...." (grins)

Another Random Bypasser: (is hit by a whole wave of bananas)

Rinoa: (holding her hands behind her back, the tune to whistling
"Eyes on Me")

Irvine: (jumps on his chair) "FOOD FIGHT!"

All: "YEAH!"

Harry: (runs back on) "Ahh, where did Voldemort-"

Audience: (gasps)

Harry: "Oh, come off it!"

Sid: ((another one of the lovable "Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within" cast member)) "Oh my god!"

Headmaster Cid: (sitting next to Headmaster Dumbledor) "This is
rather odd...."

Headmaster Dumbledor: "I hear ya."

Headmaster Cid: "Wanna go for a few shots of whiskey?"

Headmaster Dumbledor: "What's that?"

Headmaster Cid: "Ahh....nev'a mind...."

Headmaster Dumbledor: "Here, try some of this." (hands over a
bottle of Butterbeer)

Headmaster Cid: "Hey, this doesn't have any alcohol! What kind of
crack of you been smokin'?!"

Headmaster Dumbledor: (shoves the bottle down Cid's throat)

Headmaster Cid: "AHH....! Hey, this stuff if pretty good."

Headmaster Dumbledor: "Want some Bertie Bott's Every Flavor
Beans?"

Audience: "NOOOOO!"

Headmaster Cid: "Sure." (takes one, than gags, running off the
stage) "RANCID MILK!"

All: "Ewww...."

Headmaster Cid: (walks back in, his face all green and he decks
Headmaster Dumbledor)

Headmaster Dumbledor: "THAT'S IT!" (decks Headmaster Cid)

Headmaster Cid: (decks Dumbledor)

Headmaster Dumbledor: (decks Headmaster Cid)

Headmaster Cid: (decks Dumbledor)

Headmaster Dumbledor: (decks Headmaster Cid)

Headmaster Cid: (decks Dumbledor)

(the two Headmasters knock each other out)

Aki: "There's something in here!" (points at Selphie)

Selphie: (gets up and cocks her head again) "Gah?"

Leo: "Hey, I don't remember any movie characters being in here?"

Aki: "The dreams are always the same."

Just Another Random Bypasser: "You know, you've got a talent for
understatement." (then is pegged in the eye by a banana, making
the bypasser fall over and down the set, yet, for some reason no
one seems to either notice nor care)

Aki: "The dreams are always the same."

Leo: "Man, this is messed up!"

Hermione: (waves her wand at Selphie, performing the Imperius
Curse) "Imperio!"

Selphie: (jumping on her chair, while doing an impression of a
werewolf)

All: "YAY!"

Just Another Random Bypasser: "Waaaah!" (slips and falls on a
banana peel, falling down the stage)

Selphie: (starts hopping around, and jump on the random bypassers,
howling)

All: "YAY!"

Irvine: "No one understands the loneliness of a sniper...."

Leo: "I hear ya."

Irvine: "You a sniper too?"

Leo: "Nah, just wanted to make you feel better."

Audience: "Awww....how nice...." (gets a warm fuzzy feeling)

Hermione: (reverses the Imperius Curse, making Selphie go back to
normal)

Audience: (the warms fuzzy feeling is gone)

Sirius: "Hey, Hermione, YOU JUST PERFORMED AN ILLEAGAL CURSE!"

(a bunch of Azkabanian guards stroll in, taking Hermione away)

Hermione: "No! No! NOOOOO!"

Leo: "Man, this is really messed up!"

Aki: "The dreams-"

All: "SHUT UP!"

Aki: "..................."

Grey: "Uh, no?"

Sid: "Oh my god...."

Leo: (jumps up and down) "THEY HAVE SID! THEY HAVE SID!"
(stops jumping) "Sure, he's an old guy, but...." (jumps up and down
again) "THEY HAVE SID! THEY HAVE SID! Or could it always be with
a 'C'? Why do you have an 'S' in your name?"

Sid: "....because Squaresoft ran out of ideas."

Leo: "...."

Harry: "Hey, am I really going to die?"

Professor Trealwlney: (looks at Harry, faints, but then comes back
up) "Welcome....to the friendly psychics network!"

All: "Ack!"

Professor Trealwlney: "The dark lord shall arise...."

Voldemort: "I already have!"

Ron: "Ya old bat!"

Professor Trealwlney: "He shall be stronger and greater than
before...."

All: "Ack!"

Harry: "THAT IT! I HATE YOU! STOP MAKING YOUR PHONEY
PREDICTIONS THAT I AM GOING TO FRIGGEN DIE!" (kills Professor
Trealwlney)

Audience: "YAY!"

Ron: "Ahh, but when two Neptune's appear in the sky, it is a sure
sign that an short idiot writing a stupid fic will be born...."

Leo: "HEY!" (smacks Ron)

Ron: "Ouch!" (smacks Leo)

Leo: (smacks Ron)

Ron: (smacks Leo)

Leo: (smacks Ron)

Ron: (smacks Leo)

Leo: (smacks Ron)

Harry: "CAT FIGHT, CAT FIGHT!"

Ron: "Harry?! What's that supposed 'ta mean?"

Harry: (shrugs)

Ron: "BRING IT ON!" (smacks Harry)

Ron: (smacks Harry) "Take that!"

Harry: (smacks Leo) "Now your gonna get it!"

Leo: (smacks Ron) "You meanie!"

Ron: (smacks Harry) "And that!"

Harry: (smacks Leo) "Dunno why I am doing this, but OKAY!"

Leo: (smacks Ron) "Just shut up!"

Ron: (smacks Harry) "Okay."

Harry: (smacks Leo) "Not a bad idea."

Leo: (smacks Ron) "How can this go on....?"

Ron: (smacks Harry) "....in front of an audience?"

Harry: (smacks Leo) "I...."

Leo: (smacks Ron) "....hate....."

Ron: (smacks Harry) "You!" (smacks Leo) "....and you!"

Harry: (smacks Ron) "Hey, don't hit her, that's my job!"

Leo: (smacks Harry and Ron)

Ron: "Hey, wanna make a truce?"

Leo: "Truces are for whimps." (smacks Ron)

Ron: (smacks Harry)

Harry: (smacks Leo)

Leo: (smacks Ron)

Ron: (smacks Harry)

Harry: (smacks Leo)

Leo: (smacks Ron)

Ron: (smacks Harry)

Harry: (smacks Leo)

Leo: (smacks Ron)

Ron: (smacks Harry)

Harry: (smacks Leo)

Leo: (smacks Ron)

Ron: (smacks Harry)

Harry: (smacks Leo)

Leo: (smacks Ron)

Leo: "I'm tired of this smacking sissy crap!"

Hermione: (running away from the guards in a straight jacket) "I
resent that!"

Leo: (decks Ron in the face)

Ron: "Waaaah!" (goes cross-eyed and falls over)

(Leo wins)

Harry: "Hey, what about me?"

Ron: (twitching) "You already get your glory...."

Leo: "Yeah!" (holds her hands up in triumph)

(as all this goes on, everyone stands there looking like a bunch of
idiots)

Leo: (blinking) "What's your guy's deal?"

Quistis: "You haven't given us lines yet."

Irvine: "That is so cruel!"

Squall: ".....whatever."

Zell: (coming back in, being chased by Faronon who is holding
Laguna's machine gun) "Ack! Someone, save me, and feeeed me;
not necessarily in that ooooorder!"

All: "...."

Leo: "Now that isn't right!"

Zell: "Oh come on! Someone save me!"

Irvine: "Um, how about not?"

Snape: "Want me to kill him?"

All: "Sure!"

Faronon: "No, wait! I have to be the one to kill Zell, I hate him the
most!"

Leo: "Which explains the 'Zell Bashing' topic for your random
insanity fic."

Faronon: "....ya got a point there!"

Leo: "Coolies!"

All: "...."

Quistis: "Behold, when two idiots are put together in the same
room."

Leo: "Speak for yourself, blondie!"

Aya ((from Parasite Eve)): "Hey! That's not nice!"

Leo: "Go away, shower girl!" (glares) "You make me sick!"

Aya: (is zapped out of the fic)

Zell: (is zapped out of the fic)

Faronon: (is zapped out of the fic)

Leo: "So, back onto the show-"

General Hein: (("Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within" villain.
MWAHAHA!)) "I WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD! Hey, I have a nose!"

Leo: -_- "This is hopeless...." (smacks her forehead)

Grey: (shoots Hein)

Aki: "Hey, Grey, wanna go make out?"

All: O.o

Grey: "Sure! Even though it's weird to date a girl who has been
abducted by aliens, and I am supposed to hate you-I think, or at
least that's what the main characters are supposed to do with the
person they like-"

Aki: "Hey, not only are you rambleing, you forget that I'm the main
character of the movie!"

(everyone looks up)

All: "Huh?"

Aki: "Seriously!"

Hermione: "Seriously!"

Laguna: (walks in and hits Hermione in the back of the head with
his gun, ordering the guards to take her away screaming)

Leo: "Yeah! I KNEW IT! It's about time Squaresoft made something
that has a heroine!"

Hermione: "Heroine?! WHERE?!" (runs around, looking under chairs)

Rinoa: "YEAH! IT'S ABOUT TIME THE FEMALE RACE STEPS UP AND
TAKES OVER THE WORLD!"

Hermione: (struggling from the guards in a straight jacket) "Preach
on, sist'a!"

Rinoa: (now looking dense) "Oh, can I have some tacos? Are there
any tacos on this set? I want some tacos. If not I'll have coffee."

Leo: "Who cares, Squaresoft finally made a girl main character, and
for a movie at that!"

Squall: ".....whatever."

Sid: "But I thought the movie was being made by Americans?"

Harry: "Did you know they're making a movie about me?"

Ron: (rolls eyes)

Harry: "What's your deal?"

Ron: (rolls eyes again)

Harry: (grabs a POTTER REALLY STINKS badge and cocks it across
the room at Ron's forehead)

Ron: (goes cross-eyed and falls over)

All: "Ooo....aaahhh...."

Grey: "So, anyway, it that okay, my little Aki?"

Aki: "Okay!"

All: "That's not riiiiight!"

(the two love-birds walks off)

Audience: "That's still not riiiiight!"

Rinoa: "HEY SQUALL!"

Squall: "....whatever."

Leo: "Umm, this fic is turning into a lemon...."

Irvine: "Well, it's not our fault!"

Sid: "Yeah, it's all yours!"

Steiner: (runs across the set, screaming) "Princess! Princess?
PRINCESS! PRINC-ESS! Princess? Princess! Princess? Prince-"

All: "SHUT UP!"

Leo: "And you aren't in here!" (erases all of Steiner but his head)

Steiner: "Oh cruel-mmph!"

Leo: (erases Steiner's rather large mouth as well)

Ron: "Dude, I wanna go out for Butterbeer, what do ya say, Harry?
Harry?"

Harry: (looking in the audience) "Hmmm...."

Ron: "'Sup?"

Harry: "Look, it's Lupin! HI LUPIN!"

Lupin: "Ugh...." (howls, then turns into a werewolf and runs off the
audience stands)

Ron&Harry: "...."

Harry: "Hey, it's Moody! HI MOODY!"

Moody: "CONSTANT VIGALANCE!"

Harry&Ron: (anime fall)

Leo: "I don't remember making anime stuff for Harry Potter?"

Harry: "You raaaaaang?"

Leo: '_'

Irvine: (aiming his gun for Selphie's head, but then misses and the
bullet runs across the stage and hits Aeris, as she falls on the
ground)

Leo: (to Irvine) "OHMIGAWD!"

Cloud: (catching Aeris) "YOU KILLED AERIS!...."

Sephroth: "You beast!" (hesitates) "I'm supposed to kill Aeris!"

Cloud: "Really? OMILASH!"

Sephroth: (and just like the end of the game, he blows up. You
know, I really wonder what is up with Squaresoft and blowing up
things, even their villains do the same. Ironic, isn't it?)

Selphie: (blinks) "Yay! I'm alive!"

Irvine: "Not anymore!" (shoots Selphie)

Leo: "Doink! 9999 damage."

Selphie: (falls over and dies. Then a little naked angel appears over
her and she gets absorbed into time)

Leo: "I always wondered what is up with the whole time absorbing
thing....?"

Squall: ".....what-"

Quistis: "-ever?" (giggles)

Squall: "Could you knock it off?! LION HEART!" (kills Quistis with
this gunblade)

Leo: "Hey, you guys can't keep killing the people on here!"

Quistis&Selphie: (is magically revived by fanfic magic) "YAY!"

All: "NO! OH CRUEL FATE!"

Quistis: (blink) (blink) "Whaaat?"

Voldemort: (runs up, waving his wand and says) "Avada Kadavera!"

Selphie: (blinks at the flashing green light) "Huh?"

Leo: ".....and aren't you supposed to be dead now, Selphie?"

Selphie: "Oh....yeah." (goes cross-eyed like Ron did only she dies)

Irvine: "Told ya she was stupid...."

Sid: "You didn't have to point that out."

(Aki and Grey walk back in)

Grey: (grinning) "How fun."

Leo: "What did you guys really do?"

Aki: "We played Strip Poker."

All: -_-

Grey: "Whaaat?"

Hein: "I will now destroy the world!"

(psychotic music plays)

(world ends)

(all there is, is darkness, and there stands Leo, looking at her
watch)

Leo: "Hey, only I can end the world, since this is my show!"

(the world is magically restored)

All: "YIPEE!"

Leo: "Hey, who says we all ditch this show and go out to the Three
Broomsticks and get drunk off our arses?"

Kid: "Hey, yer an aussie too?"

Leo: "No, I just like the accent. And you my little blonde Australian
friend, belong in Faronon's Crono Cross Random Insanity fic!"

Kid: "Ah, blast it!" (is zapped to Faronon's Crono Cross fanfic's) "NO!
NOT ZELL!"

(so, Headmaster Dumbledor, Headmaster Cid, Leo, Aki, Grey, Harry,
Ron, Hermione-in-a-straight-jacket, Squall, Rinoa, Irvine, Quistis,
Sid, and whoever I missed all walk over Selphie and Steiner's big
giant head as they walk out)




(A/N)
I will make another one when they all head for the bar. Whoa,
even more random insanity horror. And I hope I didn't spoil anything
from the "Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within" movie, but seriously,
don't you just get tired of all the male-hero crap? (Does an
impression of one of the girls) "Oh save me!"