Shiro Den Gaiden One

by kiriel

The first gaiden for the series, Fushigi Yuugi: The Next Generation. As some of my readers requested. This is the 1st of four, and it's about the Suzaku group. A civil war is about to break out in Konan. Only one of the Suzaku seishi can stop it, but

8. We Hurt the Ones We Love

Shiro Den: Gaiden One

Chapter Seven: We Hurt the Ones We Love

Disclaimer: I don't own Fushigi Yuugi.  Yuu Watase owns Fushigi Yuugi.  I own the story and all the new characters.

Author's Note: Everyone like Jilun?  Yeah, she's cruel.  She's heartless and is totally in love with Shiro.  Who can blame her?  He looks like his father, Kouji.  Does anyone think it's depressing?  Is she right about Shiro?  I've been reading William Shakespeare's Hamlet.  Someone's bound to notice.   Also, to get into the sad mood, I'm listening to Sarah McLachlan…sniffle. 

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~*Flashback*~

            Kuairong was twelve years old when he had overheard an interesting conversation that all the adults were having.  Present for this conversation were his parents, Tasuki, Ling, and Chichiri.  They were talking about the children in general.  Wangshi, Lingsu, and Tiaowo already got themselves into trouble and were being punished.  Tasuki ordered them to chop enough firewood for the entire Mt. Leikaku stronghold.  Kuairong supposed to be playing with Lei and Kanghui.  He left them for the time being.  Lei and Kanghui were told not to go directly into the stronghold by Tasuki and Kouji.  They were worried about any advances the old, hentai Eiken would do with Lei.  He had a thing for little girls, Lolita complex.  Lei was a prime target, and Kuairong was told to keep an eye on her especially, but he was more interested in what the adults were talking about behind closed doors.

            "Those boys better finish getting all that firewood for the stronghold by sunset.  Or there'll be Hell to pay!" exclaimed Tasuki. 

            "Tasuki, my love, calm down.  I'm sure the boys will finish in time.  I think that there should have been better supervision for the boys," said Ling.

            "But, Lei, Kuairong, and Kanghui don't need any!  I swear I don't know what's wrong with Wangshi, Lingsu, and Tiaowo," said Tasuki as he shook his head.

            "Could it be that they're your sons, no da?" asked Chichiri while in superdeformed mode.  There came a suppressed chuckle from Kouji.  Shumi pressed her lips together in an effort not to laugh out loud.  Ling looked at her husband directly with a raised eyebrow.

            "ARE YOU SAYING IT'S MY FAULT THAT THE BOYS UNHOOKED ALL THE CARRIAGES FROM ALL THE HORSES IN THE VILLAGE?!" exploded Tasuki.  The boys had unhooked all the horses from all the carriages in the village that their father was from.  As a result there was a stampede of horses running through the village.  Tiaowo was foolish enough to unhook the horses from his parents' carriage.

            "Let's move on shall we?  Shumi, Kuairong and Kanghui have grown so much from the last time we saw them," said Ling.

            "Yes.  Kuairong is showing interest in learning how to use swords and ride swords.  Kanghui has interests in becoming a healer like their grandfather and mother," said Kouji proudly.

            "Father has been saying that Kuairong is showing absolutely no interest as a healer.  He's not paying attention at all," said Shumi with a worried tone.  Kuairong at the door blushed slightly at this comment.  It wasn't that he wasn't paying attention, it was that he didn't like the content.  It was all so boring. 

            "Don't worry about him, Shumi.  I'm sure he's going to be just fine," said Tasuki.

            "How's the Emperor, Chichiri?" asked Kouji.

            "His lessons are coming along fine, no da.  He's really advance for his age, no da.  Hotohori would be proud of him, no da," said Chichiri with a certain about of pride. 

            "Lei is getting so much more pretty now," said Shumi with a bright smile.  She didn't have a daughter of her own, so she enjoyed watching Lei grow up. 

            "What do you mean that she's pretty now?" asked Tasuki suspiciously. 

            "I think she means that she's less cute and more mature in her beauty, my love," clarified Ling. 

            "Some day, she'll have a lot of suitors after her," predicted Kouji.

            "Over my dead body!" exclaimed Tasuki as he went superdeformed. 

            "Then, we'll just have to kill you when that time comes.  I love you, but you leave me no choice," said Ling with a smirk on her face.

"We'll help, Ling, no da," said Chichiri while Kouji nodded in agreement.  They had huge grins on their faces.

"NO!  I don't give a f**king damn if she's all grown up!" said Tasuki.

"Come, come.  I'm sure we can comprises this," said Shumi with a sweatdrop.

"Tasuki, what if Lei falls in love with someone?  And what if this someone loves her just as much?" asked Ling seriously.

"Aw, man.  I don't like the sound of this at all.  She's just a little girl," griped Tasuki. 

"She's not going to be a little girl forever.  For you maybe, but not to her.  Come on now, my love," said Ling as she smiled tenderly at Tasuki.

            "It won't be for a long time.  She's only eleven.  All right.  I'll let her get married and leave me on the condition that the person who loves her proves that he's worthy of her," said Tasuki with a resigned sigh admitting an inevitable defeat.

            Kuairong listened throughout the last part of the conversation very well.  "If he's worthy of her?!" he whispered loudly.  'What would it take to get Tasuki's approval of me?  What would I have to do?  Something that will make me strong,' he thought frantically.  He had to get in while the going was good.  He had to impress Tasuki with how great he was.  Lei had grown up to have a very sweet nature that made Kuairong very happy inside.  Lei was impressed when he showed her what he could do with his wooden swords.  He liked the way that she smiled at him.  It made his heart pound in his ears.  She was growing up to be a very beautiful woman like her mother.  She already carried herself with Ling grace and elegance.  Kuairong thought it was strange that she would even play with him.  She was a high born girl to a very rich and well-known family on her mother's side, and her father was a Suzaku seishi.  Kuairong thought about his background.  His mother natural father was a horrible man who was a lord who was feared for his cruelty.  His adoptive grandfather was a kind and humble healer.  Kuairong never learned anything about his paternal grandparents because they had died long before he was born.  His father was head of the Mt. Leikaku bandits.  Kuairong's heart sank as he thought about his background compared to Lei's.  The girl had breeding on her side.  Kuairong looked like he was going to have to work for everything.  That was all right.  He was used to that idea.  He was going to work hard to make himself worthy of her.

~*End of Flashback*~

            'Make myself worthy of her,' thought Hakurou as he walked back to the main house on the Su estate.  Jilun was right.  In his efforts to make himself worthy of her, he had tried so hard that he forgot his goal and tarnished himself with the blood of others.  He could hardly live with himself.  The true manifestation of his powers as a seishi came during the restoration of the gods.  His ability to absorb knowledge was through one of the powers that he had much like his counterpart, Chiriko.  He had the ability to read all of his opponents and see their weak points light up on their bodies.  He could see visions if he got objects into his hands.  He had the ability to feel the pain of others while touching them whether it was physical or something else.  That was why he could do his work as he healer so well.  The only reason why he was the best warrior in the world was because he had learned a lot of different techniques.  The reason why he couldn't function for days when he killed someone was because he could feel the physically pain go through his body.  It was real pain.  His powers made him feel weak, and he felt that one day he would go insane because of them.  He was careful not to let anyone get close to him.  Anyone.  That would have to include Hono'o.  He hated himself for hurting her.  Hakurou wanted her out of the Su estate so that he could stop hurting her.  She wanted him to come back with her to Eiyou, but he didn't want to face anyone else.  It was hard enough with Lei.

            He didn't want to face the other seishi and Mariko.  Mariko had a lot of faith in him considering.  Hakurou never thought himself worthy of being her seishi.  He didn't want to be a seishi in the first place.  His powers were a curse waiting to happen as far as he was concerned.  He had no idea why he was chosen to be a seishi at all.  Taiitsukun and Suzaku must have been out of their minds when they chose him.  He wasn't of any use to the summoning.  He was just a lost soul wandering around the world half alive.  Wei Kuairong had worked hard for a dream he would never see come true.  

*           *           *

            Shitsu didn't have much luck locating Shiro, but she took it very calmly.  She thought that Sailo was hot and dry compared to Konan. She had gone to various temples and fight schools to inquire about Shiro's whereabouts, but they were all dead ends.  Her ears were bombarded with stories of Shiro's accomplishments.  It seemed liked everyone who had encountered Shiro liked him. 

            "This is where Shiro had his first match," said Shitsu as she surveyed the fighting arena in front of her, which was located near the border of Hokkan.

            "Yes, it was a marvelous match," said the owner of the arena as he rubbed his palms together.  His eyes were large with delight.  'He's sadistic.  He likes watching people get hurt,' thought Shitsu.

            "Did you know that he was a Suzaku seishi?" inquired Shitsu as she rubbed her chin with an eyebrow raised because she had found out that most people in the fight arenas didn't know that piece of information.

            "WHAT?!" shrieked the man in surprise.

            Shitsu merely nodded as the little man fell over superdeformed in surprise.  "Is this the prize for the fight?" she asked referring to the glass case which held a necklace with a large ruby stone in it.  There were guards to protect it.

            "Um…yes," muttered the little man because he realized that the person who was questioning him was also a seishi.

            "It's beautiful," commented Shitsu.

            "The prize has a different stone for each year," said man carelessly. 

            "What stone was in the necklace the year that Shiro had won?" asked Shitsu as she traced her left index finger along her chin.

            "Um…it's hard to remember.  But, I think it was amber.  I don't have the records from the jeweler who made it that year.  It was amber," said the man who's eyes light up because he was actually able to remember something.

            "Thank you," said Shitsu as she walked away from the arena satisfied with the information that she had heard. 

*           *           *

            Hono'o was wiggling her toes in the water.  She had to ponder about many things.  She really wanted to scream out loud her frustrations, but it wouldn't have done her any good.  Shiro wouldn't react at all.  Hono'o thought that he was numb, cold, stoic, and distant.  Hono'o kept her ear opened to anything the villagers said about him.  She wanted anything that could help her convince him to come with her back to Eiyou.  Hono'o had heard a lot of praise about Shiro, but most thought that he was very strange.  Some of the villager noticed that Shiro was a solitary being.  A lone wolf. Yes, he was a member of the Suzaku Seven, but he didn't stay or maintained contact with the rest of them.  He was the quintessential lone wolf.  Hono'o was getting impatient with him because this was a waste of time.  She was supposed to confirm whether or not there was an army near the border of Konan and Kutou.

            Hakurou was thinking of what Jilun had said, "She will never accept you because of the things you have done.  It doesn't matter whatever good you have done now."  Hakurou had to get Hono'o to leave the Su Estate even if that meant hurting her.  He placed his hand on his side where his kanji was.  He saw her dangling her legs in the pond.  He smiled slightly because he remembered her fear of water.  She looked like the very image of innocence because she looked like a child who was timid about the water.  "Hono'o," he said softly trying not to surprise her.  Hono'o looked slightly startled, but nothing more.   

            "Why don't you just go back to Eiyou?  Where you belong," said Hakurou.

            "I can't.  I have to take you with me, and I have to check the border," said Hono'o shaking her head.

            "I already said that I wasn't going back with you," said Hakuarou.  His tone was even colder than usual.

            "I don't understand.  Why can you help everyone, but me?" asked Hono'o as the flicker in her amber eyes dimmed.

            "You will never understand me, Lei," snapped Hakarou harshly.

            "Then make me understand.  What the Hell happened to you?  What happened that made you into a coward?" asked Hono'o in a single breath.  She suddenly realized what she had just said, and quickly added: "I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry.  I didn't mean the last part.  I'm sorry."

            Hakurou looked at her blankly.  "It's alright.  You're right I am a coward," he whispered.  Hono'o saw a flicker of pain in his pain eyes for a moment that had gone almost immediately.  She bit her lip.

            "You're not even fighting back," whispered Hono'o desperately.  Hono'o would have preferred to be called "Doll Face" over any of this.

            "I have spent a long time fighting, Hono'o," said Hakurou, "I am tired."

            "There things that you've got to fight for no matter what," said Hono'o seriously.

            "What an ideal world you live in.  You are a naïve fool who looks at the world through the eyes of a child.  You should grow up," responded Hakurou coldly and bitterly.

            "I would rather be a child if that means growing up into someone like you," whispered back Hono'o.  The spark in her eyes disappeared as she bit her bottom lip.  Hakurou suppressed a sigh because he had to finish her off.  If she thought he was a cold-hearted bastard, she was right.  He turned his back to leave her, so he would have to see her face.

            "Well, here's an important lesson for you, Lei-sama: get use to disappointment.  Life's full of it.  You've always had someone to back you up, and you've never failed before in your life.  Consider this your first real failure: I'm not going anywhere with you," spat Hakurou bitterly.  He had turned halfway through his lesson.  Hono'o had reached up to smack him, but he caught her hand using his quick reflexes.  Hakurou grabbed her other wrist and held both until Hono'o winced in pain. 

            "I let you do that once.  Don't do that again," he said in a dangerously low voice.  He let go of her wrists.  Hono'o rubbed both of them.  "You bruise easily," he commented as he turned his back again.  Hakurou felt something suddenly on his shoulder.  Hono'o's forehead was pressed up on it from behind him.  Tears came down her cheeks as her body shuddered slightly from the sobbing.  There was a flicker of pain that went through his body for a moment.  He stepped forward so that she was no longer touching him. 

            "Why are you crying?" he whispered without turning around because Hakurou hated to see her cry.

            "Because you can't cry for yourself. Someone has to for you," said Hono'o simply as she kept on crying.

            "Don't cry for me.  I am beyond tears, Lei-sama.  No one should cry for me.  Don't waste your tears or time.  I am sure no one has.  Anyone who has is foolish.  Get used to disappointment.  God knows I have," whispered Hakurou as he walked away from her without looking back. 

            "Why?  What happened?" whispered Hono'o as she sank down to her knees sobbing.

*           *           *

            Kanghui wondered if the Suzaku seishi would be able to find his wayward brother.  He was bitter towards his irresponsible elder brother.  Kanghui knew that Kuairong was good at hurting people because he was selfish.  He always had to do things his way.  Kuairong didn't care who he had hurt.  Kanghui had to watch his parents worry about Kuairong.  Kanghui knew that his parents weren't exactly married when Kuairong was conceived.  Shumi was fully prepared to have him on her own with Ruifu's help.  In a way, Kanghui wouldn't have existed without Kuairong.  If Shumi wasn't pregnant with him, she wouldn't have come back to Mt. Leikaku with Kouji at all.  Kouji knew it, and considered his first son a true miracle.  Shumi had a tighter grip on her younger son since her eldest had left. She wasn't about to lose her baby. 

            'I've got to find him and bring him back,' thought Kanghui.  It didn't matter how he felt about his brother.  He was going to bring Kuairong home or find out the truth about him.

*           *           *

            "Shiro and I decided to have a match.  I really didn't know what to expect.  I heard all the rumors about him.  You what people say about rumors: about half of them aren't true.  Rumor has it that Shiro is the greatest fighter out of Konan since Tamahome.  I know one thing for certain.  It's true.  Shiro is the best fighter in the world.  I got a taste of it myself.  We decided to have our match at sundown, but we fought throughout the night.  I mean the whole night.  It was a thrill because I've never seen anyone with that kind of stamina.  Finally, at dawn, Shiro had disarmed me.  He was above me, and the look on his face told me that he was going to kill me.  There was that gleam in his eyes.  I've seen it myself in the eyes of countless men.  His sword was in his hands.  Then the blade came down upon me.  I thought that I was a goner for sure, but when I opened my eyes his sword was buried into the ground.  The sword was so deep into the ground that it stood up on its own.  The blade had come down next to my left ear.  Any closer and I wouldn't have a left ear," finished off Kokoro.

            "You mean he came close to killing you, but stopped?" asked Shitsu.  She had ran right into him.  Kokoro was close to Sailo to meet his fellow Genbu seishi, Tetsu.  Shitsu had inquired about Shiro's whereabouts.  After hearing his story, she was frowning because she realized that there was a drastic change in Shiro's behavior that she hadn't anticipated it.  It was going to be harder to find him.  If not impossible.  "How long ago was your match, Kokoro?" she asked.

            "Almost a year," answered the former assassin promptly.

            "Did he do anything after the match?" asked Shitsu.

            "That's the strange thing.  He didn't say a word; he just walked away.  He left his sword behind without looking back," replied Kokoro.

            Shitsu frowned.  This was all so strange.

*           *           *

            Hakurou would have his worst moments during the evenings.  He was pacing in the guest room he was currently staying in.  He wanted to kick himself for hurting Hono'o's feelings, but it was only for her own good.  He knew very well that he had killed her spirit.  Hono'o had gone out of her way to avoid him, and during dinner she had avoid his gaze altogether.  She kept her eyes low and was quiet throughout the dinner. 

            Hakurou let himself fall into the bed and sighed.  He hated the nighttime because it was a quiet time to think, reflect, and being alone with his thoughts.

            Meanwhile, Hono'o was still in Shiro's room trying to fall asleep.  She shifted uncomfortably and got up from the bed.  Hono'o realized that she didn't know who Shiro was, and maybe she never knew him at all.  Looking around the room, she mentally complied a list of what she thought she knew about him.  'He's kind, compassionat, intelligent, cool, brooding…,' thought Hono'o.  She assumed that he thought of her as some sort of pesky younger sister.  When she was younger, Shiro would often have to watch over her and his younger brother.  'So much for being friends,' she thought with a sigh.  Hono'o looked at his writing desk and opened one of the drawers.  There was nothing in there, but a piece of red velvet cloth.  'What's this?' thought Hono'o as she took out the cloth.  It was folded in a meticulous manner.  She carefully unfolded it taking care to remember how to fold it back up again, and she found a beautiful necklace.  Hono'o gently picked up the necklace by its delicate golden chain letting the necklace spin in the air.  The amber pendant was like a drop of honey suspended in the air.  The moonlight touched the amber making it sprinkle.  "It's beautiful," whispered Hono'o as her amber eyes widened with appraisal.  She never really wore any kind of jewelry.  Why would Shiro have something like that?  Hono'o put the necklace back exactly as she found it and sighed.  'It's probably for someone he really cares about,' she thought deciding that it was time for bed.  Her last thought as she surrendered to slumber was, "What disappointed you enough to make you lose your faith, Shiro?'

*           *           *

            Hakurou was walking along the path in a forest in some unknown part of Konan.  Suddenly, three men came out of no where.  They demanded money from him, but Hakurou didn't wait for them to speak.  With a quick flash of the two swords in his hands, they laid in the ground in a bloody mess.  There was a look of surprise in their opened eyes, coming out of their mouths was blood.  They never had a chance.  Hakurou wasn't touched at all by the men, but it was worse.  There were jolts of pain in the places where he had given the men their fatal wounds.  He staggered and dropped the swords in his hands.  There was blood everywhere….

            Hakurou woke up from his nightmare, which was actually a memory.  He had lots of memories like that.  His breathing was quickly with his heart pounding.  He slept without a shirt on, but kept the black cloth around his body.  His kanji was glowing through it.  There was a sheen of cold sweat on his body.  "Stop it," he commanded his kanji because the damn thing was still glowing, and he couldn't get it to stop.  Standing up he staggered towards the mirror in the room.  Hakurou peeled off the black cloth.  The Castle kanji was stubbornly bright.  Hakurou touched his side covering his kanji with his right hand, and he studied his reflection in the mirror.  "STOP IT!" he shouted more loudly as his hands rolled into fists.  Not knowing what came over him, smashing the mirror with his bare hands until there was no glass left, and his hands were bleeding from cuts.  He sank to the floor after that with his kanji still glowing on his side. 

*           *           *

            Hono'o woke up to the next morning to the sunlight beaming into the room on her face.  Hono'o got up stretching her body and yawning at the same time.  There came a soft knock at the door.  "Come in," said Hono'o without thinking.

            "Good morning, Lei-sama," greeted Shiro in a monotone voice. 

            "Um…good morning, Hakurou-san," said Hono'o softly quietly as she looked away from him.

            "I've come to check your cuts," said Hakurou.  Hono'o nodded and obediently complied.  Hakurou took out a pair of scissor to cut the bandages on her arms.  She immediately noticed the fresh bandages on his hands.  He said nothing as he cut all rest of the bandages.  "You're fine now," he said softly.

            "I'm not going back if you think that's going to work," said Hono'o adamantly.  Hakurou looked at her blankly.  "Have it your way.  I don't care either way," he said as he left the room.  Hono'o wanted to know about the bandages, but he didn't stay long enough to talk about it. 

            Meanwhile, Hakurou was going to one of the larger studies to meet with Kenren and one the other wealthy merchants of the area, Wang.  When he entered the room, both the men stood up in attention.  Wang was a plump, elderly man who ran a trading post in the village.  He had traveled all over Konan to gather some of the finest goods for sale in the village.

            "Good day to you, Lord Hakurou," said Wang as he bowed slightly.  Hakurou nodded.  "I am here today to discuss a problem that I saw on the way back to our valley."

            "What business is it of mine?" asked Hakurou in a husky, tired voice.

            "There was an army moving towards here.  It was massive, Milord," reported Wang.  Hakurou's eyes widened in surprise.  Hono'o was right about the army.  "I don't know if they will come to this valley.  The valley is well hidden, but there is no guarantee of our safety.  We should report this to the Emperor," said Wang frantically.  Hakurou closed his eyes in deep thought. 

            "There is a Suzaku seishi here," said Hakurou softly.  Wang's eyes widened as well Kenren's.

            "Lei-sama?" asked Kenren.  He thought there was something strange about the young woman who was staying with them.

            "Yes, she is," answered Hakurou without looking at either of them.

            "If that is so, then terror will come to this valley and the village!  She is a bad omen, Milord.  We should get her out of this valley!  We can get rid of her!" burst out Wang in a near panic. Before he could say more, he was stopped by a hand around his throat, which had come with such incredible speed, he never saw it coming.  There was a deep intensity in Hakurou's eyes that burned with anger.  Wang's eyes widened in fear.  Kenren took a step back. 

            Hakurou tightening his grip on Wang's throat whispered in a dangerously low voice, "Harm one hair on her head, and I'll kill you."  Hakurou released his grip, and Wang fell on the floor in a heap coughing and breathing deeply.

            "I—I am sorry, Milord.  Forgive my transgression, Milord," stammered Wang as he placed his hand on his own throat.  Hakurou looked away from both men.  Wang shook with fear as he looked at Hakurou.

            "Get out of my sight.  I'll take care of the problem myself, Wang," ordered Hakurou who had returned to his monotone voice.  Wang left the room quickly.  Kenren looked at his lord strangely.  Lord Hakurou was a true enigma. There was something about Lei-sama that was making Lord Hakurou act strangely.  He didn't say anything because he was in a state of shock.  He had never seen Hakurou lose his temper before; his threat towards Wang confirmed Kenren's suspicion about Hakurou having a dangerous temper.

            "May I order some tea for you, Milord?" asked Kenren after much silence.

            "Yes," said Hakurou in a soft voice without looking at Kenren.  Kenren left the room with much need relief.

~*~ClareBear's Omake~*~

Tamahome: That was pretty scary at the end.  That reminds me of when Hotohori threatened me. 

Hotohori: I thought that was very romantic of Shiro.

Tamahome: Figures.

Miaka: I didn't think it was very nice of him to clutch Hono'o wrists like that.

Tamahome: Romantic?  You've got to be kidding me!

Nuriko (with large sad eyes): That was so romantic!  HE LOVES HER SO MUCH!  IT'S SO TRAGIC!  WHAT HAPPENED!  I WISH THEY WOULD BE HAPPY! 

Chiriko: I wonder what Tasuki will say about this…

Tamahome: Heaven help all of Konan when he finds out about this.  This is the first time that I've ever sympathize with him.  Ever since Mariko and Odayaka got engaged.  WHY?  OH, WHY?!

Mitsukake: Tamahome's off again.

Everyone else sighs.  Tamahome is superdeformed running around.