Shiro Den Gaiden One

by kiriel

The first gaiden for the series, Fushigi Yuugi: The Next Generation. As some of my readers requested. This is the 1st of four, and it's about the Suzaku group. A civil war is about to break out in Konan. Only one of the Suzaku seishi can stop it, but

9. Things that are Remembered

Shiro Den – Gaiden One

Chapter Eight: Things That Are Remembered

Disclaimer: Yuu Watase is the original creator and owner of the original characters. I'm just borrowing the ideas and characters. I own the new characters. Don't sue me. I have no money. :P

Author's Note: Fanfiction.net is making it harder and harder to work in HTML. It's the thing that annoys me the most. Here's yet another flashback. Shiro's past is very twisted in case no one noticed. ^_^ More seishi make a cameo appearance. By the way, sorry about the lack of updates. I've got summer school. Damn, organic chemistry.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

~*~Flashback~*~

One Year Ago

Shiro was traveling around Kutou, the Eastern Empire, when he came upon a quiet village. It had been almost a month since he defeated Kokoro in their match. Shiro only had one sword left, his horse, and he had been helping people in Kutou who had required medical attention. He found that the old lessons that his grandfather had tried to teach him had come flooding back, and he knew more than he had expected. Kutou was in restoration, rebuilding the Empire so that it would be stable.

'There's something strange in the air. It's too quiet here. I can smell blood...lots of it,' he thought as he dismounted from his horse. He walked closer to the village, his eyes widening in horror as his eyes fell on the dead bodies of men, women, and children. The smell of rancid flesh came to his nose, and Shiro swallowed back the vomit that had risen in his throat from his stomach. The bodies were fresh, but starting to decay. There were flies and other insects gathering and feasting on the bodies, especially around the open wounds in the bodies. Shiro had increasing difficulty suppressing the vomit that was rising up his throat. Using a shovel and a pick, he buried about fifty bodies. He worked tirelessly until dawn and fell tired from exhaustion afterwards. There were calluses that would fade away over time, but he was more concerned about the smell on his hands. They reeked of blood and death, and furthermore, there were flashes of pain that went through him when he touched the dead bodies. The pains of the last moments of the villagers before they had been slaughtered. Looking around the village he found that very little had been taken, and that the villagers had attempted to fight back, but failed. Shiro cleaned himself up in a nearby stream, thinking at the same time, 'I'll never get the smell of death away from me.'

Shiro moved forward after that. He tried to forget everything he had seen. He would ride on his horse and close his eyes at the same time. The sound of running footsteps came towards him. "HELP ME!" screamed a young boy with a bloody cut on his left arm, any deeper and bone would have been exposed to open air. Shiro quickly dismounted, and he came to the boy's aid. While helping him, Shiro found out that there was another village that the boy had come running from. The boy was instructed to go to a neighboring village and bring back some help. A warlord was laying waste to the countryside and killing everyone who dared to resist him. Shiro felt the anger rise in him like lava coming out of a volcano inside him. Shiro told the boy to go to the village, but to inform them to prepare themselves. He remounted his horse after he made sure that the boy would find his way and raced forward to find the warlord.

Shiro was hot on the trail of the warlord for the next fortnight, following clues and hearing stories by some lucky survivors. 'I'm not even a Seiryuu seishi, and I'm here finding a killer,' he mused as he closed in on the warlord. He found an army marching away from a village. The warlord stuck out because he was dressed in black cloak that covered him. On his face he wore an iron mask that he over his mouth. The cloak's hood obscured his face and he rode the largest stallion. The men were following a second in command's orders while he stood there and watched.

Shiro looked at the cloaked figure carefully and tried to read him. The warlord turned just in time to see Shiro leave the scene, and he grinned to himself. Was it a scout for the Seiryuu? The warlord knew that the Seiryuu seishi were hot on his trail, and he was careful. Perhaps it was a Seiryuu. "I'll catch up with you," said the warlord to his second.

"Yes, sir," nodded the second as he gave the signal for the other men to move out. The army moved ahead, and the warlord walked away from his stallion to pursue the interloper on foot. Shiro realized by the sound of the men moving out quickly that he had been spotted. 'No matter. I have to face this guy anyway,' he thought as he prepared himself to fight the cloaked figure.

"Ah, it seems you've been following us," said the cloak figure, he was smiling, but the iron mask hid his smile.

"Yes," answered Shiro as he drew his sword with his right hand. He didn't feel like playing around with this guy with his left hand, although it would provide more of a challenge. The man didn't deserve any games or mercy from Shiro as far as he was concerned.

"I suppose you want to fight me. Are you a Seiryuu?" asked the man.

"No," answered Shiro as he charged him. The man blocked Shiro's blade with amazing speed with his right foreman. Shiro pulled back as he watched the cloak slip off because he had sliced it. The cloak revealed a black iron claw. The claw was massive covering his forearm up to the elbow. There were four claws altogether that were thick blades, the blades tapered down to sharp, precise points that hooked inward, each claw fitting over each of his knuckles. Perfect for slicing through flesh and with the added tiny hooks that could hook into internal organ to rip them out. Shiro pulled back when he realized what kind of weapon the warlord had. It explained all the injuries he had seen. Like something a wildcat would do.

"Afraid or wise?" inquired the man as he leaped forward. Shiro blocked him with his sword. The steel clashed with the iron creating sparks that flew to the ground. Shiro attacked him again only to be blocked. The iron claws scratched Shiro's left cheek, but he didn't even feel it. Shiro struck the man with his sword, but just cut his left arm. The warlord winced in pain as he grabbed Shiro. Shiro felt the pain jolting through his body, and his kanji was activated.

"A Suzaku? Aren't you in the wrong part of the world, Shiro?" laughed the man as he read the kanji that had glowed through Shiro's thin shirt. The cloaked figure pushed Shiro to the ground, but he was able to leap to his feet before he could touch the ground, and flip back behind him. It was then that claw came for him and slashed his torso. There was no time for Shiro to block the pain as he sank to the ground. Another strike came and another. Shiro was only able to block the second one. The cuts on his torso were deep. He was losing a lot of blood very fast. The cloaked figure paused to watch him for a moment as if deciding whether or not to kill him in one final swoop. The sword in Shiro's right hand was knocked out of it leaving him defenseless.

"You feel other people's pain. What other visions must you see?" asked the cloaked figure as he struck Shiro's jaw with the top part of the claw severely bruising him. WHACK!

Shiro was losing consciousness as the man staked him to the ground by tethering him to four separate posts leaving his body out for the vultures. Shiro didn't care because he had failed. This was the first fight that he had ever lost. He closed his eyes to look at the dream that he always had when times were difficult. The cloak figure left to go back to his stallion and catch up with his men. He didn't kill Shiro because it would have been a waste of a perfectly good soldier, but if he dies then the warlord decided he wasn't worthy of being spared. Perhaps, he could use Shiro for later, if he survived.

Shiro didn't know how long he was in his dream, but he was semi-conscious when he felt the pounding on the ground as another group arrived. The horses and carriage came to a screeching halt when they saw Shiro sprawled out on the ground. "It's a Suzaku!" exclaimed a voice from the carriage as she opened the door, and came down to his aid. There was a gasp of horror from the other people when they saw him. "Cut him lose, Iwa!" ordered Hoseki, the second Seiryuu seishi and Imperial Princess of Kutou. Iwa, the third Seiryuu seishi, cut Shiro's limbs lose from the ropes. Mori, the fourth Seiryuu, surveyed the scene. "There was a match here, and he lost," she said softly.

Hoseki knelt beside Shiro and activated her powers to heal him. His body was healed in a matter of minutes, but he wasn't awake yet. They decided to set up camp at that site and wait for Shiro to regain full consciousness before pressing him for any further information. Shiro was in a private tent, and Hoseki was checking his progress regularly all through the afternoon and into the evening. She could hear him mumbling as if he were in a nightmare. "It hurts...why does it hurt...why? I'm not hurt...I hurt him...," he mumbled. His kanji would glow at the moment. At other times he would mumble, "I'm not good enough for her...I failed. Lei," He said her name over in over again like a mantra. Hoseki didn't know who Lei was because she was only known by her seishi name, and not by her given name. She prayed to Seiryuu that Shiro would wake up from his delirium. Hoseki decided that as a healer, she had to keep his mumblings a secret because it seemed like he were in pain. She thought of asking him later, but decided not to.

Finally, he had woken up just after dawn. He told them about the warlord without any emotion on his face. The spark in his eyes was gone. His spirit was finally broken when he realized that his dream had slipped through his fingers. He felt like he had failed, not just himself, but Lei. He had done everything to be strong for her, and he found out that he wasn't strong enough for her. He doubt that he loved her enough.

~*~End of Flashback~*~

"That was all Hoseki had to say. She didn't know anything else. Mori and Iwa also added that Shiro had disappeared the day after he had recovered, and even though he wasn't fully healed yet, he had left. They came back to the capital and we went into action to drive back the army. I didn't think that the army would appear here in Konan," said Ryu, the first Seiryuu seishi, as he told the story of the army that had laid waste to Kutou during the Restoration.

Ryu had arrived with Mariko and Sei because he had listened to the reports, and thought that everyone should be informed.

"Why didn't you say anything sooner, Oniichan?" asked Mariko.

"Because I thought that the army was gone, and the Emperor of Kutou didn't want any of the other Empires coming in and helping," answered Ryu with a shrug.

"By the way, why are we hiding?" asked Sei. He, Mariko, Ryu, Odayaka, Taki, and Kawa were hiding in one of the private rooms of Odayaka's mother.

"Because I'm avoiding Lord Tasuki...Chichiri told me to," answered Odayaka.

"Why are we hiding from Tasuki?" asked Sei who still didn't understand what was going on.

"Odayaka and Shitsu lost contact with Hono'o a few days ago, Sei. Tasuki's been asking over and over again, and if there's been word from her," answered Mariko for Odayaka.

"I don't believe this! The Emperor of Konan is hiding from someone in his own palace!" laughed Sei. He was superdeformed and laughing hysterically. Everyone hushed him all at once. He went back to his normal mode with a pout.

"Hono'o's gone? What if she's in trouble?" asked Kawa with the concern blatant on her voice. Her forehead crinkled up slightly as Mariko placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"I think she's fine. Also, it is probably a good idea not to tell Tasuki right away," said Mariko with a sweatdrop.

"We better move to a safer location because Lord Tasuki may catch on to where we are," suggested Odayaka.

"Right," agreed everyone as they moved to another part of the palace.

* * *

Hakurou wanted nothing more than to be able to sleep without any nightmares or memories disrupting his slumber. He had began to resent being a seishi ever since his powers had gone out of control. It seemed like they were out of control. He was in the hot spring that was part of the property. He was wearing nothing in the water as he soaked himself. His body still had the muscle tone, but not the mass it once had. He sighed as he let the water infuse into his body. Hakurou wasn't in the water for relaxation purposes. He was there for sensory deprivation. He didn't want his body to feel anything anymore. Most human beings would go insane if they were placed in sensory deprivation. Hakurou didn't care because he was going to go insane from feeling too much.

His body was perfectly still as he went into a dead man's float. The heat of the hot spring water was making his body tingle slightly. His hazel-green eyes were shut, so that he wouldn't see anything. His ears were filling with water, but he didn't care. Hakurou remained there for a half-hour before he opened his eyes again. Sighing as he got out of the hot spring he found that there were clothes had been laid out for him by one of the servants. It was thin shirt and a pair of gray slacks. His silk robe was next to the rest of the clothes. Hakurou searched for the black strip of cotton cloth, but couldn't find it, and he sighed again. He donned the shirt and the pants, and finally the robe. He held the robe tightly in front of him because he knew that his kanji could glow at any moment, so he had to move fast and get back to his room. Suddenly, there was a jolt that went through his body. There was something nearby that he sensed. Hakurou looked around him, and decided to investigate. He looked at the house first towards his room, and hoped that Hono'o would sleep through whatever he was sensing.

He walked outside the estate grounds where his gut instincts told him to go to. He wasn't wearing any shoes, but he didn't notice any of the small sharp pebbles on the ground. Hakurou moved with the same grace and speed he normally did. He stopped when he came to the end of a cliff. There was a figure with red hair, the symbol for "king" on his forehead, there were red wings coming out of his back, and he was sitting along the cliff's edge. Hakurou's eyes widened as he kneeled before the figure.

"Suzaku," he whispered as the figure gazed at him.

* * *

"Maybe, she's shackin' up with someone?" suggested Tiaowo jokingly. WHACK! Kouji smacked him upside the head for such a stupid remark. Shumi and Ling watched as Tiaowo clutched the back of his skull and went superdeformed. "Why did you do that Uncle Kouji?! It hurts!" he whined.

"That feels like Deja Vu. I used to hit your father upside the head for saying stupid things!" Kouji answered back with a smile.

"That felt like it hurt!" exclaimed Tiaowo with a scowl.

"You shouldn't be saying such things about your sister," chided Ling calmly.

"Where's everyone's sense of humor?" asked Tiaowo innocently.

"I don't think your father has a sense of humor right now," said Ling. Shumi and Kouji were in Eiyou because Ling had asked them to come. She needed the back up. Actually, Ling only asked for Kouji, but Shumi had decided to come along. She was mad at her husband for letting their youngest son go and look for his brother without consulting her first. Kouji was sleeping in one of the other guest rooms as a result, and Shumi was pissed off at him. Ling was worried about Lei and Tasuki, and he wasn't hearing any news from Odayaka. Odayaka claimed that he was too busy to do anything right now, and tell him about not hearing from Hono'o.

"I know how worried you are Ling. The both of you. Tiaowo try not to make any jokes around your father," said Shumi. She and Kouji knew what it was like to have a wayward child and not know where he was. Now they had two wayward children. Everyone was more worried about Hono'o than Shiro. Ling suspected that the Emperor didn't know where Hono'o was, but he didn't want to tell Tasuki about it.

* * *

"What are you doing here?" asked Hakurou as he looked at Suzaku. Suzaku looked at him with expressionless eyes. The kanji on Hakurou's side was glowing.

"Tell me everything," said the God of Fire and Love without moving his lips as through a psychic link to Shiro.

"Everything? There's too much to say. I really don't know where to begin. Shouldn't you know everything already?" said Hakurou with a bitter edge to his voice. Suzaku merely looked at Shiro, and Shiro glared back at him. There was a look of sympathy on Suzaku's face as Shiro continued, "I don't understand why I'm even a seishi. You've already been summoned...you wouldn't be here otherwise. Why am I a seishi? You didn't even need us for the summoning. You were already with Mariko. You were inside Mariko-sama. You made my powers active during the Restoration. Why? It hurts me! I can feel everything!" he screamed as he clutched his ears. Shiro sank to the ground. "I just want the pain to go away. I can feel the pain of the people I've killed. It's worse than death," he whispered desperately.

"You wish to forget everything?" asked Suzaku with a musing look on his face. Shiro looked at his god with wide eyes. Suzaku had to power to do almost anything.

"Yes. I just want to take away all the pain. I want to forget everything," whispered Shiro numbly, not knowing what he was really saying.

"I will take all your memories and your powers from you. You will only have knowledge you need to be a healer. Everything you remember will begin the day you entered this valley. Nothing more than that. Do you agree?" asked the Phoenix after much silence. There was blatant sympathy in the eyes of Suzaku. He was kneeling beside Shiro with a hand on his shoulder. Shiro looked into Suzaku's eyes and nodded numbly. He just wanted the pain to go away. Suzaku stood up and his wings spread out as he shut his eyes. Shiro felt the heat build up around him. He stripped off his silk robe because it was too hot to keep it on. The fire Suzaku had built surrounded his body and numbed him from the burning pain around him. Shiro shut his eyes....

Hono'o was sleeping soundly when she felt something wake her up from her deep slumber. Her amber eyes shot open wide as she got out of bed. The curtain was closed, but there was a light shining through it. There was only one light that Hono'o had seen before that could shine through the dark curtains in the middle of night: Suzaku. She stumbled out of bed. There was the sound of thunder and flashes of lightning. 'There's a storm coming,' thought Hono'o as she put on a robe that Pei Pei had given her. She ran down the hall and came down the stairs to find out where that light was coming from. Maybe, it was Mariko. She was the miko who had the power to summon Suzaku at will. Hono'o followed the light.

Shiro was encased in the pillar of fire and light that Suzaku had created. He could feel his earliest memories leaving him. The first time he was aware of his parents. The memory of his mother being pregnant with his younger brother. The day that his younger brother was born. Lei. The first memory of Lei with her father. The kiss on his cheek. Suddenly, all the memories that he could feel being taken from him were of Lei. Just Lei. Everything. Her smile, her eyes, her kindness, compassion, laugh...everything. He started to scream out in agony. It was physically hurting him. He could feel her being ripped away from him. He wasn't supposed to feel anything, but he did. His eyes were open wide in agony. Shiro was about to lose the one thing that had kept him going for the past four years. The one thing that kept him from feeling alone. The one proof of his humanity. Shiro would forget that he had ever loved someone as much as Lei. Suzaku was taking Lei from him. 'No...no...NO!' he thought in a panic.

Lei was running in the rain. Her nightgown was getting soaked as she ran barefoot over the rocks and mud. It didn't matter at the speed she was traveling, she couldn't feel anything. Her red hair was soaked in the rain and her gown was sticking to her body. The robe was being ripped to shreds because she was running past bushes. There were new cuts forming on her legs that the continuing rain cooled. She ran until she reached a cliff. Her eyes widening in horror as she watched Shiro in the pillar of light. Her breathing was hard as she looked at the ring of fire that was around the pillar of light. It appeared as if he was being consumed by the flames. She looked above Shiro's limp body to see Suzaku. 'Why? What's happening?' thought Hono'o as she stepped forward. The rain made her skin cold as she stepped into the ring of fire. She stumbled back in surprise. 'Too hot. The fire's too hot!' she thought as she looked at Suzaku, whose eyes were shut.

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO HIM?! STOP! PLEASE SUZAKU! STOP!" screamed Hono'o as she appealed to Suzaku. She sank to her knees as she looked back and forth between Shiro and Suzaku. What was going on? The rain was washing away her tears as they came down. "SHIRO!" she screamed out loud.

Shiro heard a voice from outside his mind. A voice that had cut through the pillar. He immediately recognized the voice. "Lei?" he whispered. Suzaku opened his eyes because he was well aware of the fact that Hono'o was there. Shiro's hand reached outside the pillar of light for hers, but she was too far away and the ring of fire made it impossible for her to reach him. Hono'o reached out her hand towards him as a sign of comfort. Shiro was floating in midair and he could see red all around him like looking through a red piece of glass. It was like a dream of some kind. Not a bad or good one. Just a dream. "Stop...Suzaku. Don't take her from me," he pleaded in a soft whisper. Hono'o couldn't hear anything he was saying inside the pillar of light. Suzaku touched down the ground and released Shiro letting his body fall softly to the ground. The look on Suzaku's face could be classified as satisfied with the results. "What did you do to him?" demanded Hono'o softly as she looked at Suzaku accusingly.

"I reminded him of his reason for being," answered Suzaku enigmatically as he disappeared in a swirl of fire. Hono'o had Shiro in her arms. His breathing was steady, but he was running a temperature. "Lei," he mumbled softly. Hono'o placed her hand on his forehead, and her other arm around his chest to support his back as he lay on the ground as still as possible. She cradled him until he had completely passed out from the fever with the rain pounding on them both.

* * *

Kenren and Renbiao came to the aid of their master and his guest sometime before dawn. Lord Hakurou was running a fever, and his body was shaking from delirium. Pei Pei had woken up early in the morning to find her brother in his current condition. She used all the knowledge he had taught her and the scrolls from his study to find out which combination of herbs would help him. Kenren and Renbiao found out about the kanji on Lord Hakurou's right side that had not ceased glowing since the pillar of light had encased him. They expressed surprised and understood why Hono'o was there. She told them to keep quiet about Shiro's status as a seishi for the time being. Kenren and Renbiao chose to keep quiet out of loyalty to their master. Hono'o didn't know which room Shiro was staying in and ordered them to take Shiro back to his real room. Hono'o watched him for hours on end without moving from her chair next to the bed. She studied him while he slept peaceful when the fever had finally broken after sunset the next day, 'He looks like a little boy when he sleeps. Just like when we were little,' thought Hono'o as she gently brushed the hair away from his closed eyes. Her hand touched his forehead. His features were relaxed and calm as she studied him. 'He's beautiful,' she thought sadly. He was handsome, and she never noticed that before. How many things didn't she notice about the people around her? Was she truly so oblivious of other people's feelings? Hono'o pulled her hand back away from him, and curled up into a ball. Her forehead was on her knees as she closed her eyes. She had her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms crossed in front of her just below her knees. 'We can't keep this up forever. It's hurting him. I should stop hurting him,' she thought as she rocked herself back and forth.

Shiro woke up from his slumber late into the evening. He looked at his surroundings, realizing that he was in his own bedroom. 'Where is Lei?' thought Shiro as he sought her. He turned around to find her next to him in a chair. She was curled up into a ball. He thought that she couldn't be very comfortable in that position. Her limbs were going to ache when she woke up. Hono'o's breathing was very steady. Shiro reach out his hand to touch her because she was so close by. Just to touch her. For a single moment. His hand trembled slightly as he reached out for her. His right hand was getting closer and closer to her hands that were on top of one another. His sensitive fingers could almost feel her skin. He pulled his hand back away from her in a sudden jerk. Shiro couldn't bring himself to even touch her. He contented himself with just watching her sleep as he closed his eyes again.

The sunlight came into the room announcing the dawn of the next morning. The residual dew in the air made everything cool outside. Hono'o had resolved to return to Eiyou as soon as Shiro was well enough. There would be no point in continuing this game with him. She was tired and couldn't stand it anymore. Hono'o watched as Shiro opened his eyes. He looked at her and sat up slightly. Hono'o got up from the chair from as soon as Shiro sat up. She looked at him with sad amber eyes.

"Lei...I should tell you what happened with Suzaku. He wasn't trying to hurt me..."

Hono'o interrupted him, "I don't care. I really don't. You don't have to explain anything to me. I don't want to hear it. Since, when did you bother telling me anything? Remember, I don't understand you? Why are you even telling me anything?" interrupted Hono'o bitterly. She had a tired look on her face as she spoke. She was shaking from her anger, as if she had been keeping it bottled up inside all that time.

"Lei..." he whispered softly to calm her down.

"I don't care anymore. You win. You've beaten me. I'm going back to Eiyou now," whispered Hono'o as she shook her head. She came down to his level and kissed him on the lips softly. Her eyelashes brushed against his cheeks momentarily as she got up quickly. He could taste something salty; it was the tears that she was holding back, and now were on her eyelashes. She stood up fully without any pain, and left the room.

~*~ClareBear's Omake~*~

Nuriko (with big sad eyes): I don't believe this.

Miaka: Why isn't he stopping her?!

Tamahome: Baka!

Hotohori: That was just sad.

Chirko: He's broken her spirit.

Mitsukake: I don't know a cure for a broken heart.

Tamahome: I'll say it once...I say it again: BAKA!

Everyone is superdeformed with clouds of despair behind them.