Usual disclaimers apply.
I don't own them or the song, although I did have to make up a lot for
this particular ficcie. Song used is
'Love Me Now Forever' as sung by Sarah Brightman and Richard Marx.
Roses will bloom again…
Still feels like eternity…
Winner
barely acknowledged Shaula's condolences or her leaving. Numb, he stood before the window but didn't
see the view. One of his
vice-presidents entered, quietly gathered the paperwork and reports form his
desk and left. Noon came and went, the
afternoon crawled by. He dragged his
chair over so he could sit and still look out the window at the part of the
business empire he had created, the colony he'd helped build. All that wealth, all the power, couldn't
bring his wife back to him.
"I'm sorry,
Master Winner." He turned toward the
door with dead eyes.
"How can I
help you, Miriam?" The woman was a
welcome sight. Win Inc.'s main
secretary, there wasn't anything that went on that she didn't know about, no
situation she couldn't handle.
"More
importantly, how can I help you?"
He stared
out the window again. "I need to get
home."
"Already
taken care of. The private shuttle will
be here and ready to leave at 08:30 Colonial Standard Time tomorrow."
"My meeting
with those builders from L-1?"
"Zandis is
handling that."
"Those
files…"
"Salman. Don't worry about the business. I will take care of it. Go home, eat something, try to rest. I'll have a car there to pick you up in the
morning." As she left, Miriam
turned. "We will miss her, Quaterina
was a great lady."
"Yes… yes
she was."
In your kiss it wasn't goodbye… You are still the
reason why…
"I
promise, my love. This will be the last
trip for a while."
"Good. We've missed you, Salman. Quatre and Anael are growing so fast, I
don't' want you to miss it."
He
ducked his head at her gentle chiding.
"I haven't been away that much."
"Salman!"
"I'm
sorry. After this trip the deal with
those people from L-1 will be complete and I can take some time off. What do you say we take a trip?"
"Just us
or the children too?"
"Everyone. I thought we could go to Earth. Maybe visit with Sayyul. Rashid will take Quatre and Anael for a
couple days so we can have some time to ourselves. What do you say? Is your
health up to it?"
"For the
opportunity to be a family? Of
course. Hurry back, my love." Quaterina kissed him, her gentle butterfly
kiss. "I'll be waiting."
I can hear you whisper in the silence of my room…
The click
of the lock releasing sounded unnaturally loud to Winner's ears. He let himself in to the large penthouse
apartment. It was quiet… too quiet. He needed noise, needed sounds so he couldn't
hear her.
"You
need more color in this place, Salman."
She was
right, as always, the place did need more color. But he spent so little time here, why bother? He found himself in the kitchen, reheating
the leftovers from last night's business dinner.
"If you
didn't eat out so much, you'd never survive when you're away."
He picked
at the food, forcing some down past the lump in his throat. He dumped the rest in the disposal and put
the dishes in the washer.
"Hurry
back, my love. I'll be waiting."
"I need
some noise." He turned on the music
player, the soft, soothing strains of a violin concerto filling the space.
My heart still surrenders… Like the sun to the moon…
He
aimlessly packed a bag for tomorrow. He
didn't need much; he had duplicates of everything at most of his
residences. Besides, he was going
home. Home, to a bedroom that would be
as cold and lonely as this one was tonight.
His eyes fell on the pictures on the nightstand. He sat on the edge of the bed and switched
on the light.
He picked
up the small gold frame with trembling fingers. "Oh, Quaterina… what am I going to do without you? Can a man survive without his heart? I gave mine to you a long time ago. And once surrendered, I don't think someone
can call it back."
I can barely stand this aching, burning endlessly…
He set the
picture back and looked at the one beside it.
Quaterina sat in the middle, arms wrapped around two children. On one side, a young boy; sea-blue eyes,
pale blond hair, innocence incarnate.
In short, just like his mother.
On the other; a girl, same age, with midnight hair, gray eyes, and a
smile that was a touch more mischievous than her half-brother's. In short, just like her mother.
Both
children of his loins, though not of Quaterina's. But she had forgiven him his indiscretion, as he had forgiven
every mistake he'd made. She'd loved
Anael as she'd loved all his daughters, though Anael wasn't test tube like the
others. Quaterina had loved everyone,
and everyone had loved her. He hung his
head, everything reminded him of her.
Love me now forever… Were the last words you said to
me…
He found
the thumb of his left hand playing with his wedding ring, twirling it around
his finger. It was a habit he'd picked
up over the years. It had kept him
connected to Quaterina during the sometimes long absences. He remembered their wedding day. He'd been so nervous. And the day Quatre was born, he had never
been more terrified. He lay down, but
knew sleep would probably never come.
He could feel the letters etched into the ring in Arabic. *Love me now forever.*
And when the morning comes… My hands still reach out
for you…
Morning
dawned, gray and cold. Winner rolled
over, reaching for the other side of the bed.
It wasn't unusual to feel only cool sheets, but this morning those
sheets felt cooler than normal. With a
start he sat up, wide-awake. The fact
that he had slept was startling.
/That's right. She's dead.
/ It still did not feel real yet. Like if he hurried home, she would still be
there, waiting. And they would take
that trip to Earth like he promised.
Some things remain the same… There is nothing I can
do…
His body
went through his morning routine on autopilot.
Shower, shave, get dressed, prayers, coffee, check business news, second
cup of coffee with toast, get ready for the office. But he wasn't going in to the office today. He was going home, to bury his wife. To comfort a pair of now motherless
children. To try to pick up the pieces.
Miriam
appeared with the car at 07:30 CST. She
let herself in and came to where he was standing on the narrow balcony. She handed him his coat as his driver picked
up the bag. They rode in silence to the
shuttle terminal, passed through security and were conducted by personnel to
their shuttle. It was a small, private
vehicle used by Win Inc.'s executives when speed or discretion was
necessary. They left L-4 W3996 at 08:30
CST.
I can barely get through the day… Ever since you went
away…
For the
entire trip home, Winner just sat and stared out the window at the passing
stars. He was a man totally lost. /Why, Quaterina? Why did you have to leave me, leave us? What will I tell our son, my daughter? How can I go one without you?
How do I raise our children? Why
Quaterina? Why? /
I can hear you whispering in the silence of my room…
"May I
sit here miss?"
"Of
course."
"My name
is Salman Winner."
"Winner? As in Winner Enterprises Inc.?"
"I'm
afraid so."
"I'm
Quaterina."
"Pleasure
to meet you, Quaterina." He raised her
hand and kissed the back.
"And
you, Master Winner, are quite the charmer, aren't you?" Her sea-blue eyes danced merrily.
My heart still surrenders… Like the sun to the moon…
Everything
had been planned, down to the smallest detail.
Candlit dinner, in the garden, flowers, music. Salman took a deep breath.
"Quaterina?"
"Yes?"
"I wish
to ask something of you."
"Yes?"
"Will
you do me the great honor of marrying me?"
He pulled the ring out from his vest pocket. Quaterina gasped.
"Salman?"
"It's an
emerald. I know you don't like
diamonds, and this one was the same color as your eyes. D…do you like it?"
"Like
it? I love it!"
"Then
will you marry me?"
"Of
course, I've been waiting for you to ask."
I can barely stand this aching, burning endlessly…
"What do
you want to do, Quaterina?" She looked
so tired, even over the vid.
"I made
a promise to Nalini."
"Did…
did she get a chance to see the child?"
"Yes,
though only for a moment."
He shook
his head. Quaterina had only given
birth herself four days ago. Nalini
wasn't supposed to be due for another month.
But she'd gone into early labor.
The child was weak but stable.
Unfortunately there were complications and Nalini didn't survive. Now he had a wife with a newborn and his
bastard daughter without a mother.
"Did
Nalini name her?"
"Yes,
Anael, Anael Lilith."
Salman
sighed and bowed his head.
"I
promised her."
"What
did you promise?"
"That
Anael is a Winner and will be raised as one."
"Well,
of course."
"No. I mean we, you and me. We will raise her with Quatre."
"Is this
what you want?"
"It's
what's right."
Love me now forever… Were the last words you said to
me…
"Hurry
back, my love." Quaterina kissed him,
her gentle butterfly kiss. I'll be
waiting."
Heaven help us cross this… endless sea…
He
knelt for midday prayers, but found it hard to concentrate on even this most
basic of daily rituals. He forced
himself to focus and got through his devotions. /Oh, Allah. I cannot
doubt your will. All I can ask for is
strength. And lay your kind hands upon
my children. Oh, Allah. I already miss her so much. Quaterina, I love you. /
With starlight above… to guide you to me…
/She
always did like to see the stars. / He
thought perhaps that was why she always liked to visit Earth. Surprisingly, there were very few places on
a colony where one could see the stars.
/And they do not twinkle in space. /
Quaterina said the stars danced.
/And now, my love, you dance among them. /
"Master
Winner. We'll be arriving in about 20
minutes."
"Thank you,
Miriam. Transportation?"
"All set
up." He nodded and turned back to the
window. /Yes, my dear, you dance with
the stars. /
Waves crashing on distant shores…
"Daddy!"
"Father!"
Salman
caught the two children as they hurled themselves at him. He picked up his daughter and took his son's
hand. He sat with them on the couch,
one on each side. He wiped away the
newest round of tears. Glancing up, he
saw a copy of the picture on his nightstand.
The eyes still got him, even after all these years. Eyes the color of the Mediterranean.
"Father?"
He looked
down into a pair of turquoise eyes.
"Yes, Quatre?"
"Did mommy
have to leave us?"
"Yes,
Quatre. I guess she did."
They're calling our names… forever more…
Salman left
his son crying with Anael. There was so
much he had to get in order. His other
daughters had been notified. Those who
could were on their way. But here was
something he had to take care of.
Quaterina
had been laid out in her favorite dress.
He remembered when she had bought it, for some scarce remembered
event. "Same color as your eyes, my
love." He ran his fingers through her
golden hair, so soft, so beautiful.
"The color of the sun's beams."
He gently stroked the cool skin of her face. "You look at peace now, dear heart." He lightly kissed her cold lips and then picked up her hand. With a sad smile at the memory of it's
gifting, he removed the wedding ring.
*Love me now forever*
I can hear you whispering in the silence of my room…
He came back
to find Irea sitting with the children.
He watched from the doorway as she soothed Quatre's tears. Anael didn't seem to be crying as much, but
she'd been motherless her whole life.
She had always been a little more independent. /Quaterina, your son is so much like you. Same eyes, same hair, same gentle nature. /
My heart still surrenders… Like the sun to the moon…
/He is so
different from Anael. She is so
fearless, such a troublemaker, such a horribly wonderful influence on him. Quatre is so loyally devoted to her. They should be alright, Quaterina, as long
as they are together. I don't know how
to do this. I haven't exactly been the
most active of fathers. Now I have to
be both mother and father. I don't know
if my heart can take this right now. /
I can barely stand this aching, burning endlessly…
He turned
away from his son. It was too painful
to look at that smaller version of Quaterina.
His looks, his personality, everything about him. Salman locked himself into the den. He fell into a chair and buried his face in
his hands. /Oh, Allah… / He could feel
the hot tears spilling out of his eyes and ever his hands. He couldn't believe he was crying. He was a grown man, a father; he should be
stronger than this. He didn't know how he
could face Quatre everyday. To see her
face in miniature…
Love me now forever… Were the last words you said to
me…
The family
stood around the grave, saying goodbye.
Irea had taken responsibility for Anael and Quatre and had already taken
the children back to the house. The
rest of the family soon followed, leaving him alone. Salman knelt and traced the word etched in the stone. "You'll have to rest without me for a while,
my love. I have to raise our son. He is my heir. I'll make sure he's everything we want him to be. Rest well, my love. I love you." He ran his fingers over the stone one last time.
*Quaterina Winner*
*Love me now forever*
-sin sin, tis done-
I really see Master Winner as a man who never completely
recovered from his wife's death. As a
result he pushes Quatre harder than he should, this plays out in other ficcies
of mine. This is the closest I can come
to writing a deathfic. If you were
interested, 'Salman' is an Arabic name that means 'peace'. 'Nalini', my original character Anael's
mother, her name is Sanskrit for 'lovely'.
