a tale by
. . morning z e p h y r . .
m e l a n c h o l i c  r e v e l a t i o n s

They all think they know me. Well, sorry to burst their little bubbles, but they sure as hell don't. To them, I'm the materia stealing wench. How fucking shallow is that? They don't even try to give me a chance. Not that I'm desperate for it, mind you.

Okay, so maybe I did try to steal their materias more than once, but I didn't do it for the fun of it. I had a reason behind it. Of course, they don't understand. How could they? They never asked.

When I "take" a few materias, they get all offensive like dogs whose bones were stolen from them. Geez, I "took" them for the future of Wutai, my Wutai. They could give an ounce of shit or a rat's ass about that, though.

It's perfectly fine for Barret, Tifa, and Cloud to blow the god-damn reactor sky high and watch the rubble descend dangerously only to destroy the thousands of lives down beneath, but I'm sure they didn't think of that. Oh no, what's a few lives compared to the safety of the world, right? Wrong! It should be more like what are a few lives compared to the glory it'll earn them.

At least, materias are returnable. Those bodies that are decaying under the massive destruction aren't.

Heroes and heroines my ass! Fucking selfish, I tell you. Just plain fucking selfish. They can kill while I can't steal. What screwed up philosophy is that? It annoys the living hell out of me. Then again, it has always been everyone for themselves, has it not?

I thought Tifa would bring me some comfort. However, like the rest of them, she has no idea of what's going on in my life.

Perhaps, Aeris did put a little effort in befriending me. But a lot of good that accomplished considering her current position: the bottom of a lake.

Vincent would have been a nice candidate for a friend; unfortunately, he doesn't even talk. He only knows how to mourn over a dead woman.

Cloud? Well, he has enough trouble trying to figure out who the hell he is. Being stuck in a love triangle with a dead person and a childhood friend doesn't help out much either.

As for the rest of them, I don't feel like pouring my heart out to mechanical robots, things that walk on four paws, and definitely not to people who shoot out expletives every second of their lives.

Gawd, this group needs to find help fast!

They always say the Turks are enemies. I don't think they're that bad at all.  At least, they stick with each other through everything, which, by the way, is something Avalanche fails to do. They were never there for me .

Nor did they ever include me in any of their plans. The whole lot of them would be on deck while I'm inside by myself throwing up my lungs. They don't even have an atom of concern for me. Do I bring that much hatred out of others? Yeah, well, I'm quite fine with it. They lead their lives and I lead mine.

They think I'm nothing more than a mere child. I may act childish at times.  Hell, I'm only sixteen! What do you expect from me? Surely, they don't think I'm going to be Miss Perfect Little Angel like Tifa and Aeris. Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against those two. If they want me to start acting like them, though, they might as well let me try to kick Sephiroth's ass by myself.

There's much more to me than the bubbly atmosphere and irritation that I cause people. That's just the outer cover of me. Down underneath all those masks and facades, I am hurting. 

Oh yes, the materialistic bitch actually does know how to feel.

It's not easy to go out into the world and live by myself in the middle of my teenage years. If it weren't for Dad and his obsession with Wutai's former years of glory, I'd still be relaxing at home.

Thinking about it now, home's not any better.

I lost Mom when I was a toddler. Even though her image in my memory is considerably vague, I miss her past the point of extreme. Sometimes, I think she's the only person who ever truly loved me for me. I never even received a chance to say "Mom, I love you." Is fate that heinous?

The thought of joining her in the next world has passed through my mind more than enough times. But committing suicide would bring such a disgrace to the name "Yuffie Kisaragi." Besides, I don't know if she really even did love me. Maybe, she despised me just like everyone else does.

As for Dad, he isn't exactly what you call tolerant. Far from it, actually. When I was younger, he'd punish me for everything I did wrong. Parents punish their child, yes. But not only did he reprimand me. He did something more horrible. Something called physical punishments. Those scars are long gone, but, forever, deep within my heart, there will always be unhealed wounds.

I use to tell myself that Dad does love me, and that he was just stressed out. But I know better now. He didn't disown me because I'm the only heir to the Wutai throne.

Life of a princess? Think again.

At the moment, I'm suppressing the urge to cry. It's been so long since I last wept. I didn't shed a single tear when Dad left a red palm mark on my right cheek. So, I'm not going to start being a fucking wussy at a time like this.

I already came this far without any of their help. And I will continue my life, with or without them. Dad, Mom, Aeris, Tifa, Cloud, and the rest of them are just like everyone else. Cruel.

One day, maybe I will lift my mask. But it's not now, nor any time in the near future.  For no one deserves me.  No one deserves Yuffie Kisaragi.

fin.

author's scribbles -
there you have it, ladies and gentlemen, my yuffie pov.  the next time you judge someone, make sure you know what goes on in his or her life.  we all tend to go by first impressions, but more than half the time they are wrong.

©Jennifer, Aug. 10, 01