The Answer
Green. Silver. And black.
Green was the Lifestream, silver was his flowing, waist-length hair. And black... his attire and soul.
He does not know how long he had been here, drifting in this isolated part of the Lifestream that was his prison. Time has a vague definition now, for he was dead.
Dead... He chuckled bitterly at the thought. Once he thought he was invincible, he thought he could live forever, he could become... a... god...
How foolish, how absolutely foolish, and stupidly blind he was, to let an alien entity twist his mind like that, to let insanity and false promises reduce him to a machine of destruction.
Dignity, honor, pride... In one moment full of anguish he threw them all to the wind, and clung on to the false promises of Jenova. Now he will never have them back. He would have been a human, however unusual was his birth, however tinted with Jenova cells, he was still a human.
But he is not human anymore... He is a sinful monster.
Once he entered the Lifestream, memories and information started to bombard him mercilessly.
Memories of Gast, Ifalna, Hojo, Lucrecia, and even Zack... And his own memories too, buried deep inside his heart by his own insanity, were dug out and cruelly thrown to his face by the planet.
He had tried to hurt the Planet, and he did. Now it is hurting him with a vengeance.
And he could not fight back. For what the Planet hauled at him was nothing but truth. It hurts, but truth is truth. How ironic! He had finally found his truth after death, and it was too late... Everyone responsible or connected to his past had went on, to the Promised Land, or to be reborn. Only he was left behind, to deal with a question that burned his heart.
Why?
Why him? Why was born differently, raised differently... Why did Jenova come to him, why was he the only one shown to the path of destruction?
Everyone who could possibly answer was gone... All gone, save for one who might have lingered behind.
The Ancient...
She was still in the Lifestream after he died. He knew she was here, leading the battle against Meteor, and ultimately, single-handedly saved the Planet from that dreaded thing he summoned.
He had thought of her. A lot of times actually, especially recently. He called to her too, but no answer ever came.
Aeris...
She no longer wanted to touch him.
A memory. Buried so deep, and for so long...
The first time they met, she was nothing but an infant.
"Hi, what's your name?"
"...Sephiroth."
"Nice to meet you Sephiroth. I'm Ifalna."
"...Who is she?"
"Oh, you mean her? She is my daughter, Aeris. Here, would you like to hold her?"
"......"
"Relax, she won't break. Here you go... easy... that's it."
He looked down at the warm bundle in his arms, she looked back, her big, green eyes sparkling under the pale light of the lab. A tiny hand reached up, taking a handful of his silver mane into her grasp. She tugged at it, lightly, and grinned.
He stared at her in pure fascination. She was the strangest little creature he had ever seen. So fragile, so warm...
"How old is she?"
"Ten months... Isn't she cute? Babies are the cutest at her stage."
"She's pretty..."
Ifalna smiled: "Have you ever heard of an old race called the Cetra? Aeris means "a ray of hope' in the ancient tone..."
Ray of hope... Well, she does seem... radiating. Carefully and a little reluctantly, he handed her back to her mother. The baby shifted a little, revealing a tiny red mark on the side of her neck.
The mark left by an injection. He knew it all to well.... he had gone through it countless times... and it hurt every time. His eyes widened and he clenched his fists, furious by the thought of her being hurt like that.
"Sephiroth?"
"They shouldn't... They... can't... do that to her..." He whispered, staring at the red mark that marred her perfect pale skin.
"I know..." Ifalna lowered her gaze, a tear slowly rolled down her cheek.
"The President is holding a function tomorrow night."
"Huh?"
"The President is holding a function tomorrow night." He repeated, suddenly looking much older than his nine years of age, "Down the hall to the right, there is a safety exit in Area E. It is the closest to the train station."
Ifalna stared at him, dumbfound.
"I can't take you there because I'll be locked in my room, but if you find a chance, escape tomorrow! Once you get out of the stairs, take the closest side door out, and on your left will be the train station." He spoke urgently, hearing footsteps approaching. Hojo's assistants are coming...
"Sephiroth..."
"Remember, tomorrow night, after seven!" He hissed, "Most of the people will be at the function, it will be the perfect opportunity! Get out of here if you can, she..."
He never had a chance to finish all that he wanted to say.
She shouldn't be subjected to all these tests and experiments in the lab. They hurt like hell. A baby like her should not know pain like that...
Yet, after they both became adults, it was he who dealt her the ultimate blow. It was him who gave her the pain that ended her life...
Aeris...
Aeris...?
Why you never answer me? You don't want to be near me, is that why?
How can you just ignore me like this...
But I can't blame you...
I killed you...
A cold tear slid down his cheek.
The tear of a killer...
Who truly regretted it.
Another memory...
He was twenty-four and already a General. He had a Second-in-Commend, a First-Class SOLDIER named Zack...
He had just entered the small shop for employees in the Shinra lobby, looking for a toothpaste or something like that. The first person he noticed was Zack.
It was hard not to notice. In fact, he practically stared. Because his Second-in-Commend was tying his spiky, jet-black hair into a ponytail... with a pink ribbon.
And Zack wore that lopsided, idiotic grin on his face too, looking quiet pleased with himself as he finished with a large, pink bow tie on his head. He turned to his companion: "Heh... don't I look stunning to you, Cloud buddy?"
His companion looked everywhere but at the SOLDIER with sexual crisis in front of him. His expression was as though saying: "I do not know this loon."
Sephiroth coughed lightly.
Both snapped around, and upon seeing him, quickly straightened and saluted: "General Sephiroth. Good evening, Sir!"
"At ease." He waved and looked at Zack, "SOLDIER Zack, you are off duty and what you do in your free time is none of my business. However, as your direct superior, I can not help but be a little concerned..."
He nodded slightly toward the pink ribbon: "If I may inquire, WHAT are you doing?"
"Oh!" Zack hastily snatched the ribbon off, flushing in embarrassment: "I was just playing... Err... you see, Sir, this is not for me, of course... Actually, I'm buying this for my girlfriend, heh heh..."
"I see..."
Zack grinned: "She is turning sixteen, and I'm getting her a pink dress. I just thought this would match the dress pretty well."
Sephiroth raised a brow, but said nothing.
"I know, I know, you are probably thinking child molesting... She is a little young, and she is childish at times. But she's very sweet, and understanding..." Zack had a dreamy look in his eyes, "She is the most beautiful, most caring person I've ever seen. I'll wait until she turn into a grown woman, but meanwhile, I want to make sure that I'm the one for her."
He smiled and shrugged, looking down at the ribbon in his hand: "Aeris is very special... I'll have a hard time fighting off rivals if I don't make her my girlfriend now."
Aeris... Zack... Cloud... All of them had their lives ruined by him. If he did not went insane, Aeris would be alive, Zack would be with her, and Cloud...
Cloud probably would have been Zack's best man at the wedding.
But he ruined it all...
Zack already passed onto his next life, Cloud will too, eventually. But Aeris... Aeris is a Cetra. She still remembers, and will remember, no doubt.
But he would never see her. She would never answer his pleads.
She would never forgive him.
If only things turned out differently! He had the chance to make it turn out different too... But he pushed it away...
How utterly foolish of him...
A clearing in the Sleeping Forest, where flowers bloomed under the warm sunlight. The ruined city was but less than a mile away.
She turned as he approached her from the behind. She was still kneeling on the grass, looking up at him. On her beautiful face she showed no fear, no anger, no despise... Only a calm, wistful smile.
"I have one last request, please." She said quietly.
"Speak."
"Please do not kill me until they get here. I... want to see them one last time, before I die..."
Her voice was like a poetic melody, soft, serene, "Please, I want to speak to Cloud one more time."
He shrugged: "Fine. It doesn't matter anyway. Whatever you do will not stop me. Mother and I will ascend to our justified glory!"
"Do you honestly believe that?"
"Of course I do. And you should too, if you know what's best for you."
"You are confused..."
"What?!"
"You are confused, and lonely... Aren't you?" Those green eyes stared straight into his soul, "You should have more faith in yourself, Sephiroth. If only you would accept yourself..."
His temper flared. "How DARE you to speak to me like that!" His hissed, his whole body quivered in rage.
Aeris dropped her gaze sadly: "I wish you would understand..."
"Shut up! Or I will kill you right now!"
She sighed in defeat. He gave her a glare full of spite, and then turned to leave.
"Sephiroth?"
"What?"
She slowly rose to her feet: "Thank you anyway, for granting me my request." She smiled with tears glistering in her eyes, holding out a delicate hand: "Would you like a flower?"
"Save it for your grave." He replied coldly and walked away.
"Someday... you will understand..." She whispered behind him. Her voice was choked with a sob.
More tears fell. He did not attempt to brush them away. No one was going to see him anyway. He had a chance to be saved... And he refused, cruelly.
If only he listened to her, if only he accepted her gesture of kindness...
Instead, he killed her.
Cloud looked down at her, full of wonder. Slowly, she opened her eyes and looked back, a smile appearing on her lips. She parted them slightly...
Oh no! She was going to tell him! He realized. Somehow she knew about Cloud's past! She was going to tell Cloud things that would make him resist his commends...
He will not allow it!
He rushed down, blade pointed at the kneeling figure. Masamune went through her abdomen like knife cutting through butter.
Slowly, she fell forward. Her eyes becoming dull, and then, the eyelids closed, forever concealing the wisdom and kindness in those deep pools of emerald.
.. It is done.
He smirked at the horrified blonde, declaring victory: "You are a puppet."
No... he was wrong. Cloud Strife was no puppet. On the contrary, the young blonde was stronger than him.
Cloud resisted Jenova and defeated him.
He was the true failure. The true puppet...
Is that what Aeris meant, when she said "you will understand"?
Aeris...
Tears streamed down his face freely now, as he drifted in the Lifestream. Cold. Alone. Tormented.
But he deserved it.
She offered him a chance to redemption. He pushed it away. Why would she answer his call now?
With many things in life... and death, there are no second chances...
Even though, she may be the only one who has answers to his questions... and future. She bears such a close association with the Lifestream, she must know...
Aeris, please...
Please answer me...
Please come...
I...
Need...
You...
Then, suddenly...
"Sephiroth."
A voice. Sweet and gentle as the midnight summer's breeze. His eyes widened in shock, and then recognition.
Could it be...?
"Aeris?"
"Sephiroth..."
A rift appeared on the invisible wall of his confinement, her angelic face, and then her entire body came into view. White robe, bare feet, brown hair tumbling down her back...
She smiled: "We meet again."
"Aeris..." God knows what exactly went through his mind that instant. Relief, shame, guilt, gratitude... He could not tell. More tears blurred his vision.
She floated toward him, until she was right next to him, and raised her small hand to his face, gently brushing his tears away.
A soothing gesture of kindness.
"You were calling me, so I came." She said softly, "I'm sorry it took so long. I was in the Promised Land already... It took me a while to realize what was it that I felt."
"Aeris..."
"I'm sorry." He finally whispered, "I finally understand what you meant at the Forgotten City... and you were right. I should have listened... Please, please forgive me..."
"It was not your fault Sephiroth. I never blamed you for my death." She replied calmly, "But, if it makes you feel better, than I forgive you, with all my heart."
He could hardly believe his ears, but... she really said it. He had been forgiven by the person he slaughtered in the most dishonorable way...
Aeris gazed into his eyes. Her expression was just like the last time he met her. No fear, no anger, no despise. Only a calm, wistful smile: "Sephiroth... Why did you seek me?"
"I... have some questions..." He swallowed, "And I think you have the answers..."
"Alright then. Please ask."
His gaze turned distant for a moment, clouded by the mist in his heart. "Who am I Aeris?" He finally spoke, "Why was I... made that way... and... why me?"
She seemed to understand what he was struggling to express.
"You are Sephiroth." Her response was simple, "You are who you are, no more, and no less. As for why... I can not answer that, for I wonder the same thing sometimes..."
Sephiroth was silent. Aeris continued to speak quietly: "Know this though... Without the Meteor, Shinra would not have been destroyed. In the end, everything had been for a reason, and sacrifices were necessary... People like us existed for a cause, I guess."
Sacrifice? So he was a sacrifice too? Sephiroth turned his head away, suddenly bitter. If they were both bound to become sacrifices for the Planet, at least she got to go to her Promised Land. While he was trapped here, forever lonely and painful, tortured by his memories...
"Sephiroth?"
"What will become of me Aeris?" His shoulders shook with barely contained anguish, "Whatever the reason, the past can not be changed, and I'm confined here... What will become of me?"
Aeris put a hand on his shoulder. "You are no longer confined. Look around." She said softly.
He did, and his eyes widened in surprise. He could sense the difference. The walls, they were gone...
"I didn't know you were imprisoned... So I spoke with the Planet when I got here. She agreed to let you go, you have paid enough price for what you have done." She reached out and took hold of his hands, "You can not be reborn, but... you can come with me, if you like."
Go with her...? "To the... Promised Land?" Is that even possible?
She giggled at his expression: "I should have been the last one to enter it, but exceptions can be made. My mother wants to meet you too... To thank you for helping us escape from Shinra."
Sephiroth was speechless. A thousand things raced through his mind, but he couldn't voice them. Suddenly, he reached out and hugged Aeris to him in a crushing embrace, shutting his eyes tightly.
He understood now... He finally understood. The answer was simple as she put it. It was necessary.
It was destiny.
Destiny... simple as that. And he was satisfied. It was enough...
Because he was not alone in this "destiny."
He felt two warm hands on her back as she completed the embrace, whispering gently into his ear: "Let's go home Sephiroth."
Aeris means "a ray of hope"...
And a ray of hope she was…
He had found his answers.