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A Source of Revenue:
"Hey,
Fawkesy, you ready to go?" asked Hobbes as he entered the small apartment.
"Gimme a
minute," came the muffled answer from the bathroom. A few minutes later Darien strolled out adjusting his pants.
"Morning." Neither spoke as he finished getting dressed and prepared himself to
face the day. They were heading out the
door when Hobbes spoke again.
"Did the
Eberts call you last night too?"
"Yeah, said
the Boss wants everyone in his office this morning. I wonder what it's about. We're supposed to be doing paper work all
day." He got into the van and immediately buckled his seat belt.
"I don't
know. Eberts said it was for a meeting. Guess it's need to know." Darien made
some noise in agreement and they rode in silence for a mile or two. "I was
watching The Discovery Channel last night. They had some weird show about Teddy
Bears on."
"What's so
weird about stuffed bears?"
"Well,
there's all these people that spend thousands of dollars collecting them. Then
there's the fact that some bears are male and some are female but they all look
alike."
"What do
you mean?"
"Well, have
you ever seen a stuffed bear with a, well, you know." Hobbes made a quick
gesture towards his pants and lowered his voice. "A wee-wee."
"Hobbes,
there is something seriously wrong with you."
"What? How
is a bear supposed to relieve himself if he doesn't have a you know?"
"They're
stuffed!"
"So? Little
bears have to come from somewhere."
"Yeah, a
toy store."
"You take
the fun out of everything. You know that, Fawkes?" Darien shook his head and
got out of the van.
"Do not,"
he said as he closed the door.
"Do too,"
replied Hobbes following him into the Agency. They continued their bickering as
they walked to the Official's office. When they arrived, the Keeper and Monroe
were already waiting.
"Nice of
you to join us, boys," greeted the Official from behind his desk. A moment later, Eberts walked in carrying a
stack of files. "As you well know, this Agency has always had financial troubles.
We have developed a new strategy for raising money that may end our woes for a
long time. Eberts."
"Yes, sir.
This is the age of television and billions of dollars are made in the industry
every year. We have decided to get our fair share of that profit by creating a
television show. We marketed the show to several networks but the SciFi Channel
had the most desirable terms. The pilot airs tonight."
"That's all
very nice, Chief, but what does this have to do with us?" asked Darien lounging
in a chair.
"The name
of the show is 'The Invisible Man'," replied the Official watching him.
"You mean,
it's about us?" asked Hobbes.
"Some
things have been changed, of course, but it's fairly accurate. The episodes are
based on some of your more memorable cases although there have been a few
exaggerations."
"Doesn't
this compromise security?" asked Alex.
"There are
enough details left out or changed that any information they get from the show
will be practically useless."
"What about
other people? Won't they start recognizing us and put things together?"
"Actually,
it's a really ingenious way to prevent people from leaking the story," replied
Hobbes. "Think about it. Someone goes to the police saying they saw someone go
invisible and gives your description but the description also matches the actor
on TV. The police are going to think the guy's a nut case." The Official nodded
approvingly at his response.
"We have
profiles on your characters and the actors playing you," continued Eberts passing
the files around. "You'll also notice on the first page a brief synopsis of
each episode planned so far. Darien, you have an excellent actor playing you.
Vincent Ventresca. He's well known for his parts as Fun Bobby on Friends and as
Ed Tate on…"
"Prey,"
finished Claire. "I loved that show. He really does look a lot like you,
Darien."
"Hmm, this
might not be so bad," replied Darien smirking.
"Baywatch!"
exlaimed Alex opening her folder. "I seriously doubt that some beach bimbo can
accurately portray me. There must be some mistake, sir."
"No
mistake, Monroe. She's a much better actress than you give her credit for." He
paused then continued in an innocent voice. "Of course, if you'd like me to
cancel your character I can. She doesn't appear until the second season after
all."
"That won't
be necessary, sir."
"Um, boss?
This says that this Ben-Victor was one of the Three Stooges. Do you really
think a comedian is the best choice to play an agent as hard core as Bobby
Hobbes?" Hobbes asked his question hesitantly.
"Yes, I
do."
"OK, sir.
This also says that my name is Robert Hobbes but Bobby is my given name."
"Does it
really matter?"
"Hey! You
got my brother's name wrong, too," interrupted Fawkes.
"Actually,
that one was intentional," answered Eberts. "The name Kyle Fawkes was already
taken."
"What about
the location? Last time I looked, San Diego wasn't in Florida."
"You
wouldn't want us to advertise the location of the Agency would you? Besides,
filming is done on the west coast."
"No, but…"
"Enough!
Your characters are set. We will not be changing anything. Do you have any
other questions?"
"Just one
sir," replied Claire. "Why is my character English? I'm from Kansas."
"It gives
the Keeper an air of mystery." Darien looked at Claire and laughed muttering
mystery under his breath.
"Is that
all?" The Official stared hard at them daring anyone to speak up. "Very well. I
suggest you tune into the Sci-Fi channel at eight tonight and watch the show."
The four of them walked out of the room looking a little dazed.
"Well how
about that…we're a TV show."
"If you're
head starts swelling because you're the star, I'm transferring."
"What are
you talking about Keepy? He's not going to be the star. No one can outshine
Bobby Hobbes."
"I hate
Baywatch. Why'd he have to pick Baywatch?" whined Alex following behind.
"It's not
that bad," replied Darien patting her on the shoulder. "I got a peak at Eberts'
file and he's being played by that guy in the tea commercial." Alex laughed and
smiled at him gratefully.
"You will
all have to come over to my place to watch it tonight," suggested Claire.
"It is
kinda cool. We're going to be famous."
"Well, not
us but our look-a-likes. That's good enough for me. Let's go celebrate."
"Sounds
good to me," answered Hobbes. The four agents walked out of the Agency into the
sweltering summer humidity.
"You know
what?" asked Alex as they walked down the sidewalk. "All those people are going
to be watching us and they'll have no idea that we're real." The four of them
exchanged evil smirks.
"This could
be fun."
FIN
A Source of Revenue
By: Unique