~**~Author's Note: BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!! Eh hem.. Okay, once again, Rinoa lovers please exit the screen by pressing one of two buttons: the lil back button in the upper left hand corner of the screen, OR the lil "X" located at the upper right hand corner of the screen. If you would please do so now, we can all get along with our lives.. Okay.. Now, you might be one of those really belligerant Rinoa Fans.. so, if so, and you do infact read this; outraged, (quoth Barracuda) all flames shall be doused and put out by mai spit. Nyah. Okay, on with the brutal Rinoa Bashings! *cackle*~**~
Disclaimer: I dun own any of the FF8 characters, so dun even bother.. However, Lem is copyrighted by herself, as is Mel, and Ybba Uy. Eivarg is © me: no touchy. Tide Laundry detergent is © itself, and not mine.. However, Petey Juxe's Laundromat is mine. Grr.. keep 'way.
This fanfic is dedicated to Binkari, who's pure genius nature helped concoct this brilliant ff! *raises Dr Pepper can* TO BINKARI! *Dr Pepper spills* eek! On with the story!
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Once again, the five (not including Rinoa, of course..she just butts in to be next to Squall) close SeeD members sat at their specified table, enjoying their breakfast.. Zell was merrily humming "This Is The Song That Never Ends" while sampling three hotdogs, Squall was sitting there with his choco breakfast, staring at Quistis, who, although enjoying adoring looks from Squall, had to admit it was getting creepy, so she sat eating her breakfast bagel. Selphie was energetically chatting to anyone who would listen about the benefits of toe socks while eating Fruit Loops, and Seifer was sitting on the end, adoring Hyperion and munching on a blueberry muffin ("MUFFIN BOY" from Zell). Just then..
"UGH! I can't believe it.. ALL of my clothes are dirty! They all somehow got some mud, and gruel all over them, even my pajamas that I slept in! (At this, Zell, Squall, Seifer, & Quistis all stared at each other and stifled enormous cackles) Ugh. I don't get it.. So now I've had to result in showing myself out in public ----- (Again, more exchanging of glances & stifled giggles from the above mentioned characters) wearing this gruelly brown t-shirt & a pair of Squall's boxer shorts (she had a belt on the eighth hole) (Now at this, everyone turned to Squall, where he stood, dumbfounded at Rinoa, "She really did sneak into my drawers, like she said!") & toe socks!!" screamed Rinoa as she barged on into the many conversations at the table and sat angrily down next to Selphie. This was just about the worst (best heehee) thing Rinoa could have done, as Selphie had so conveniently heard the entire speech about Rinoa's current aparrel, and starting chatting non-stop about how toe-socks really are quite an investment.
Just then, Pirate Cid and his impeccable timing, was walking rather quickly across the Galley. Mel, who was sitting at a table with Eivarg, Ybba Uy, and Lem, had stuck out her foot so conveniently, that Pirate Cid had tripped, and a steaming bowl of gruel (fresh from the oven!) landed smack on Rinoa's raven locks.. (haha! Erm..) With an agonized scream, Rinoa leapt into the air, and, to her amazment, right into a boulder that was oddly enough floating nonchalantly in midair right above her.. Everyone heard a hollow "KONK" as she hit, and then fell to the ground.
No one could surpress such an uproar of laughter after what had just happened.. Finally, after the noise had died, Quistis spoke, "Alright, then. What do you guys say about going to the laundromat this afternoon? Considering that wicked, yet oddly funny, prank you guys played on petty Rinoa.. Hm? Okay then. 'S all settled. Meet outside the Garden promptly at two. We'll take a bus there.. Bring necessities: anything you guys need done while we're there. When Rinoa wakes up from her unconsciousness, tell her the news. I'm off to my office, if you need me." Quistis grab hold of her plate, and stood, calling out to Pirate Cid, inquiring this or that.
Seifer was first to speak after Quistis's departure, "Mmph. What do you think about that, eh, Puberty Boy?" "…….," was his only response. Angered, Seifer chucked the half-muffin he had left at Squall, and hit him smack in the head, "You suck."
That afternoon, they all met outside the Garden anxiously. Zell was bouncing energetically and cackling incessantly while Seifer kept punching him in the stomache to shut up. Despite his powerful blows, Zell managed to resumed bouncing, although holding his stomache in agony.. As everyone started to load into the bus, Seifer and Squall (they told Zell to get in the bus or else..) made sure their little trap for Rinoa worked: a sock puppet of Squall on the ground, positioned so that when she bend down, her ankle would get caught around a loop when the bus takes off.. After many sniggers, they finally got into the bus.
"Well shouldn't we wait for Rinoa? She is the whole reason we're going here, she has a right to get on the bloody bus, doesn't she?" Quistis concealed her own surprise at the previous statement, and kept a straight face.
Shaking their heads, Squall & Seifer (with brief interruptions from Zell now and then) informed Quistis about their little scheme. She stifled a prominent laugh, then nodded in agreement.
"Yagh! She's comin!" squealed Zell zealously. With a brief exchange of sniggers and anticipating glances, the five SeeD members smiled and nodded towards Pirate Cid, who was starting the bus.
"Whah! Wait fer meee, guys!" Rinoa squeaked as she stumbled out of the garden carrying bags of laundry. "Ugh! I'm coming! DON'T LEEEAVE WIFOUT MEEEE!" Rinoa started breaking into tears, but forebored them once her coal black eyes set view upon the little Squall sock puppet, lying on the ground. She smiled, and betwixt all her laundry bags, managed to pick up the Squall doll and stare at it with great intrigue. What she didn't notice, however, was the looped twine around her ankle that slowly started to tighten as the bus started forwards..
A boistrous uproar was heard from inside the bus, uttered from the five hysterical SeeD members.. "Step on it, Cid!" Zell screamed maliciously, watching Rinoa squirm with great glee. Suddenly there was a jerk forward as Cid hit the petal with tremendous force, although the passengers were lurched backwards. After the initial shock, five pairs of eyes turned to the rear of the vehicle to find Rinoa being drug (fast first!) behind them, hitting gouging rocks now and then.
After forty-five fun filled minutes (for the SeeD's in the bus, that is), they had arrived at Petey-Juxe's Laundromat. Squall, Seifer, Selphie, Zell, Quistis, and even Pirate Cid exited the bus with tears streaming down their cheeks and grins as wide ever. They didn't even bother checking on Rinoa, and just entered Petey-Juxe's Laundromat by themselves.
Quistis was discussing funds with Pirate Cid, while the others (Squall, Selphie, Seifer, Zell) were sitting on running dryers when Rinoa, mud slicked, torn, gouged, and mangled, walked in. Her clam shaped face bore a wicked, sour, and downright bitter grimace. As she did so, Quistis stopped mid-sentence and stared, (as did Pirate Cid) while the other four SeeDs stifled more uproarious laughs. Rinoa glared; her ebony black dots of eyes ignited in an icy flame of maliciousness, pure wrath glowing within those depths.. She stuck her nose high in the air and proceded to a washing machine.
Her animosity for the others (all but Squall, of course) was so intense, that her walnut sized brain was obviously concentrating on other matters, as she wasn't paying a flake of attention to her laundry, as her intent façade truly showed otherwise. Seifer, Squall, and Zell all nodded to each other silently, and started to sneak up behind Rinoa with evil grins playing upon their faces.
All at once, the three massive dudes flung their arms around Rinoa's pencil thin waist (anarexic, tsk tsk Rinoa.. except for the gruel that was manually shoved down her throat now and then) and shoved her into the washing machine. She let out some astonished squeals, but really didn't know what was happening until..
She felt detergent! TIDE! How dare they use that brand on her clothes! – and her! She started yelling out some rather undesirable phrases (let's just say it was, "Fudging ship, Seifer!") but it was drowned out by the influx of Tide© detergent, and then the slam of the washing machine cover thingy.
Seifer brushed his hands together accomplishedly (I hope that's a word..) as he slammed the door shut on the washing machine, leaned against it cooly, and then high-fived all of the other SeeD members. They enjoyed a thorough mirthless laugh together, then heard a *PING*, signifying Rinoa was done.
He opened the machine hood thingy to find a squished, flat, yet pine scented Rinoa. Zell stepped forward and grabbed Rinoa out of Seifer's hands (Seifer had a look of disgust on his face as he pulled her out, due to the fact that she was incredibly inferior) and wrung her out merrily. They were all partially pleased at this, because she was still vaguely alive.. So Selphie whispered a few high pitched words in Zell's ear, took Rinoa, and slammed her into the nearest dryer. "Eat that, Rinoa! That is for what you said about toe-socks. They really ARE an investment! Nyah!" Selphie did the honors of turning it up to full power, for the longest amount of time. Again, they all enjoyed a thorough mirthless laugh.
As the SeeD members made their exodus from Petey-Juxe's Landromat, Pirate Cid tipped Petey-Juxe and extra bit for having to dispose of Rinoa when her listless self was done. Then they all hopped into the bus and sang "Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead" all the way home..
The End…
~**~Author's Note: This is like the conclusion: Seifer and Quistis got together.. Lem hacked off Squall's head (using HIS gunblade) for the fact that he didn't find his 'inner self' that loved Quistis sooner. Selphie and…..oooh, let's say.. Zell got together. She started a Toe-Sock Foundation for the underprivelaged, and proceded to make national speeches about how they really are a good investment, with Zell by her side, eating hotdogs.. Hope y'all liked it! Well, 'cept for you Rinoa fans out there. Okay, now if you are one of those "I love Rinoa" peeps and you did read this, even though I told you not to, once again (quoth Barracuda) all flames will be doused in mai spit.. They wont be accepted, sank yew burry mush. Hope ya liked it! R&R peas!!~**~